“Krystal-ah, relax. Just be yourself and everything would be fine.”

I have been on the phone with my sister for 15 minutes now and I’m still feeling weird about today’s photo shoot with Rain-sunbaenim.

“I don’t know sis, I’m feeling nervous... and you know me! I don’t get nervous during shoots.”

Which is true, I’m always excited during photoshoots.  I don’t know when it started, but I’ve been filming this drama with Rain-sunbaenim for a while now and it’s only recently that I feel shy around him. I have begun to think that it’s because of his age and he has this strong sense of maturity around him, that I feel, too young or a person that is beneath him.

“Maybe, it’s because you like him!” I could hear my sister Jessica stifling her laughter from the other line. It was obvious that she was enjoying this.  She’s been ‘shipping’ me and Sunbae since I got the offer for the drama and it’s been months now!

“Don’t be ridiculous Jess!” I whisper-screamed at her, “You know he’s not my type, plus he’s so much older than me.”  I looked around to make sure no one was around. Jess can be so weird sometimes. How could she say that?

I heard her sigh. “What are you talking about? Age does NOT matter.” Jessica said emphasizing the ‘Not’ part. “For all we know that 32-year-old guy is your one true love, and you refuse to take a chance because he’s and I quote, ‘not your type’.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now, sis” I said to her as I rolled my eyes. I started towards the make-up station where my stylist and is to get ready.

“Okay, I know you’re rolling your eyes stop it” and she laughed a little. “But seriously Krystal, just relax, and just let it happen.”

“For the last time Jess I don’t like him, I’m hanging up now bye.” Ugh! My sister can be so frustrating. But maybe the main reason is that I just don’t want to accept what she’s saying because it might be true. 

I said hi to my stylist and makeup artist and sat down to get my makeup done. Sunbae isn’t here yet so I haven’t really been briefed about the shoot all I know is that it requires to be intimate but cute; passionate but not to serious.

“Everyone, get ready, we’re on in 15 minutes.”

Well that’s my cue. I head towards the director and photographer to say hi before the shoot starts, and also to talk to them about the concept. But I was surprised to see that Rain-sunbaenim is already talking to them. When did he get here?

“Annyeonghaseyo!” I greeted them with a bow and they greeted me back.

“Krystal-ssi how have you been?” the director asked me to which I answered by default: “I’m fine sir” very nervous, but fine.  But I don’t tell him that of course. They expect nothing less from the sister of Jessica Jung. “That’s good.” He said with a beaming smile, “Because I think this shoot is going to take a while.”

“Oh,” I replied while nodding and he just smiled and went back to talk to the photographer. Oh boy.

“All actors on the set!”

We’re starting. I checked my phone one last time and I saw that Jessica left me a message.

                “Krystal-ah, you hung up on me! >o< Have fun! Fighting! <3”

That made me smile. I sure hope that this turns out great.

“Yah, what are you smiling about, we’re about to start.”

I look up to the person who talked to me. It was Rain-sunbaenim. I was so mortified.

“Yes, I understand Sunbae!” i said and I almost dropped my phone as I gave it to my stylist.

“Oh, I didn’t mean to scare you” he said with a small laugh. “Let’s go have fun” he beamed and took my hand and led me towards the set.

***

The photoshoot was set outdoors where Sunbae’s character was playing the guitar and I sat beside him very closely.

It was going smoothly in my opinion, before the director asked me to move closer. To have more contact, like occasionally moving my face closer to sunbae’s and placing my chin on his strong shoulders.

That was when I started to feel awkward. Why is my heart thumping so loudly?  I ask myself. Suddenly our gazes meet and my breath hitched for a second, and I think I’m blushing! Damn it! I hope nobody notices.

“That’s good Krystal-ssi, I like that you’re blushing a bit.” The photographer said.

OH MY GOD.

What the photographer said, made me blush even more. It wasn’t just him who saw me blush, in fact everyone saw it even Sunbae! I immediately put both of my hands to my face to cover my blush, but I forgot that this was a photoshoot! I have to show my face of course! Then I heard someone laughing. Sunbae was suddenly laughing! He didn’t even try to contain his laughter!

I don’t know if he was just acting but it has definitely affected me in a big way.

***

I got home three hours later and immediately called my sister and told her everything that happened.

“It was mortifying sis! I don’t know what to do, it’s like I can’t even work with him anymore.” I told her.

“Calm down, Krystal-ah. You can’t just blow the deal because you feel uncomfortable; you have to be professional here.” Jessica said.

“I hate you when you’re right.” I said to her gloomily.

“Tell you what, why don’t you write Rain-ssi a letter telling him how you feel?” She suggested.

“What do you mean tell him how I feel? I can’t confess to him via email!” ugh! What is she thinking? I’ve been embarrassed enough for one day.

And then I heard her laugh. Wait no. She wasn’t laughing it was more like cackling. Yep. She’s cackling like the wicked witch of the west.

“I didn’t say anything about confessing, and I thought you said you didn’t like him HAHAHA”

“HAHA, very funny big sis. I have a major situation here.”

“I know you do, and I understand, just email him something short, like you’ve been feeling weird recently because of your age difference. Heck, tell him about the rumors going out for example.” Jess said.

“Yea, but then he’s going to say something like, ‘it’s all good, don’t worry about it’ or worse he’s going to want to meet up to talk about it. I don’t know Jess.” I replied sounding very worried and uncertain of what my sister is trying to make me do.

“Of course he’s gonna want to meet up. But isn’t that great? Alone time with Rain-ssi, the man you’re destined to be with?”

“Shut up Jessica. Fine I’ll email him, but if he wants to meet up I’m not going.” I said confidently

“Sure sis, keep telling yourself that. Bye, love you. Have fun!” and she hung up.

Phew. Okay write a letter, write a letter, write a letter. I paced around my room thinking about what to write in the letter.

I moved towards my desk and grabbed my laptop before plopping onto the bed. I turned it on and stared at the screen. What the hell am I supposed to write?

I decided to just write what Jess told me to write. And as I write it, I thought, how is this really going to help my situation? Doesn’t it sound like i’m begging him to call me, or come meet me or something? But it was too late for that, because I already sent the message.

I closed my laptop after and went to the kitchen to get a snack. Btw, I’m at the Jung sisters’ house because I don’t think anyone was at the dorm. f(x) promotions has just ended and the others are taking a break.

Ten minutes later I check my phone and I had two messages and one missed call.

One call and message from Jess asking if I wanted to grab a bite since her schedule was over, and the other one is from Rain-sunbaenim asking me out.

Wait. What?

ASKING ME OUT?!?!?!

JINJJA??

“Hello Krystal-ssi. I didn’t know that I was making you feel uncomfortable. Thank you for telling me how you feel Krystal. Are you free right now? Maybe we can have a late lunch together. -Rain”

 

 I was about to call Jess when my phone started ringing. Oh my God it’s him.

I answered. “Yeoboseyo?”

“Krystal-ssi!” oh my gosh. “Are you free where are you right now?” all of a sudden my heart started thumping really fast.

“Uh.. I’m at home. Apgujeong.” I simple answered. Mentally, I’m already preparing what to wear.

“Great, I’m nearby. Do you want to talk over your email? I have plenty of time today”

“Uh, sure sunbae” I replied slowly “I’ll go get ready” i’m not really sure but I think he’s smiling over at the other line.

“Great. I’ll text you the name of the restaurant.” He said

“Great.” I replied almost too excitedly. Omo. I hope this meeting doesn’t make the situation worse!

“Okay then I’ll see you in a few” he said and I disconnected the call.

A date with Rain-sunbaenim. WTF? I mean we’ve been spending a lot of time together because of the drama filming, but we haven’t really been alone. Just the two of us and talking.. well.. about us.

 

It was always just about work, and being professional, and making the audience happy. But right now, as I pace in front of my vanity I feel like the luckiest and happiest person.

Okay. This time, I must admit. I do like Rain-sunbae. I like him a lot.

 

*****

“Krytal-ssi, I’m so glad you could come.” Rain-sunbaenim greeted me as a sat down. “I hope it wasn’t a bother.”

 

“No, not at all.” I replied and diverted my attention to the menu I had in my hands.

The waiter left a few moments later and not even ten seconds later Rain-sunbaenim has already brought up the topic at hand. Honestly I was surprised. But I was more surprised at the way he got my attention.

 

“Krystal-ah” he said. Immediately, perhaps unconsciously I sat up straighter and placed my right hand on top of my left and placed them on my lap to keep them from shaking. Damn it, why am I shaking? Does sunbae really have this much of an effect on me?

“Do you mind if I call you that?” he asked. Do I mind? I asked myself. “I mean, it’s just that we’ve been working together for quite some time now, I thought that it might be good to start getting close with each other.” he said seemingly defensive about the matter.

 

“No, it’s fine sunbae” I reply

 

He smiled at that. “Great. Now let’s get this business started” he said. Here it comes. “Now tell me, why… or rather, how do I make you feel uncomfortable Krystal-ah?”

 

Gulp.

I did not expect this to be the first question regarding the matter. I haven’t prepared for this! What do I say?

“Uh…” I start

 

“Don’t worry, you can be honest with me.” Sunbae said with a smile.

In that moment the waiter came back with our food and sunbae thanked the waiter before he left.  Damn that smile is too cute!

Arghhh. I try to avoid eye contact; instead I focus my eyes on the glass of wine in front of me.

I could see from my peripheral vision that sunbae has already started eating so I began as well. It was a breather. It gave me time to sort out my thoughts.

“Well, Krystal?” he asked before he took a bite out of his steak.

“Well… I’m sorry. You might think that I’m just being a brat here but I think that our personalities don’t really match very well.”  I finally said it.  I let out a deep breath. I was holding it in without even realizing it.

 

Sunbae didn’t speak for a while, so finally I mustered up courage to look up at him. I half expected him to go into a full speech of how I should try to be professional however tough my situation may be. But what he did next was completely beyond what I had expected.

 

He laughed.

 

He was laughing.

 

“Sunbae?” I ask quietly

 

“Mianhe, Krystal-ah” he said in between his chuckles. Did I say anything funny? If he thinks I’m funny then perhaps the situation cannot be resolved after all. I let out a tired sigh.

“what are you sighing for?” he asked, while the last bursts of laughter left him.

“Well…” then I shrugged. What am I going to say? I had nothing, so I kept eating. However, I couldn’t keep this for much longer because I was running out of food to eat. I hope he insists we move on to a new topic soon.

 

“I’m sorry if I laughed.” Sunbae said and I turn my attention towards him. He was looking at me right in the eyes when he said the next words.  “It’s just that you are completely wrong.”

Ouch.

Did he really have to explicitly say that?

“I’m not much different from you Krystal” he continued. “You just have to see that.” He finished and continued eating.

“What do you mean?” I ask

“I’m aiming the question back at you” he started. “What did you mean when you said our personalities clashed?”

 

“Well… I think it’s because of your age and experience.” I began. “You’re way more mature than I am and you always seem to know what to do. On the other hand I’m just a lucky kid who got a drama deal with the big leagues.” I sighed again. It was even sadder when put into words.

Sunbae didn’t ask any more questions after that. We just finished our meal quietly, while I silently prayed that this does not affect our performance in tomorrow’s taping.

***

 

“Thank you so much for today sunbae” I told Rain-sunbaenim with a small smile and I bowed before I headed for the parking lot. This day has been too embarrassing for me, I hope a little shopping can cheer me up.

“Krystal-ah, wait!” sunbae called and I turned around. He brought his car up to where I was and got out.

“Do you have some more time to spare?” he asked “There’s somewhere I want to take you.”

I didn’t really had much of a say in the matter because sunbae just grabbed my arm and lead me into his car. Wait… isn’t this kidnapping!!?!

***

 

The car ride took almost an hour. “Sunbae where is this place?” I asked when I got out of the car. “It’s beautiful.”

 

Trees were lined up on the road side. Their branches so high up that the ends of it began to form an arch. This way it looked like the road was under a tunnel made up leaves and branches. There were benches located underneath the trees. The place was perfect for a morning stroll or a night jog. But the most beautiful thing about this place is how the harsh sun seemed only like gentle rays of light by the way they peeked through the leaves. And the gentle breeze made the atmosphere feel heavenly.

 

“I’m glad you liked it.” sunbae said as he made his way towards one of the benches. “Come here” he said. “I want to show you something”

 

I did as I was told and went to the bench and sat on it. Suddenly sunbae was behind me and dropped a handful of dried leaves on my hair! ARGGGHHH!                How childish!

… childish?

I attempted to grab a handful of leaves to throw at him but thought otherwise. I am waaayyy to mature for this.

What?

 

“Krystal-ah, hold up, there something else I wanted to do.” He said with a ghost of a smirk playing on his lips.

He must have noticed that I had that now-what-are-you-gonna-do look on my face which made him laugh a little.

He walked in front of me and suddenly he started….. singing. What?

And he was singing “Three Bears” no less! You know, that popular nursery rhyme that he sang on his drama Full House? Well he was singing it now! In front of me and dancing too. LOL this is too funny. I couldn’t hold my laughter and I began to laugh loudly.

“Sunbae what are you doing? hahaha” I asked while barely holding in my laughter.

“What?” he asked back as if he was doing nothing weird. From the corner of my eyes I noticed that some people were quickly moving towards the parking lot. I wondered why it was so, and then it took me another moment to realize that it was beginning to rain!

“Sunbae!” I shouted, “It’s raining! Let’s hurry back to the car!” I said as I tried to use my hands to shield me from the rain. But wait,.. he’s still singing!?

“Papa bear, Mama bear, Baby bear” he sang. “Papa bear is fat, Mama bear is very slim, Baby bear is really cute…”

“Sunbae! Hahaha what are you still doing let’s go!” I said as I grabbed his hand and together we made our way to his car.

We were both wet and exhausted from running, but still be kept laughing until both of us had our seatbelts on and made our way out of the parking lot.

***

“Thank you for today sunbae” I said as I bowed slightly. I didn’t even notice how late it was until I got out of his car and made my way into the house.

I then heard a car door open.

“Krystal-ah, wait” he said and I turned around.

Suddenly I remember that he lent me his jacket earlier, he probably wanted it back. “Oops, sorry sunbae here you go.” I said as I handed him his jacket

He took it and then said. “Well.. thank you Krystal, I will answer your question now.” Which question? The one from lunch? I can’t even remember it myself.

“We’re not different. We just look at things differently.” He said. “And I’m not exactly who you think I am. I’m not that mature and self-righteous. I can be childish and immature sometimes too. I took you to the park to show you that side of me.” He continued. I’m finally seeing where this is going.

“And now I’m starting to think you don’t know yourself that well either. ” he added.

 

“What do you mean?” I ask. I know myself better than anyone. What is he saying?

“Back at the park I could have sang and thrown leaves and played with you for hours despite the rain. But you were mature enough to understand that it would be better to get out of the rain before we both ended up in the hospital.” He explained. I guess I never looked at the situation like that.

“You can choose to be mature when you want and when you think it’s right. And  I on the other hand can be childlike and play all I want when I want.” He continued. “I guess…” and he stepped closer and took my right hand in his. “all I want to say is that, you don’t have to feel weird around me. We’re similar you and I. So please just be yourself, I like you that way” and there he goes again with that smile that makes girls’ heart go wild.

I nodded. “Yes, I’ll try. Again, thank you, see you tomorrow sunbae” I finally said and turned towards the door, but Rain-sunbaenim grabbed my hand and made me turn back. Once we were face to face he said. “Please, call me Oppa.”

I smiled, and he did too. He finally let go of my hand and said “See you tomorrow Krystal-ah.”

I nodded.. “See you tomorrow… Oppa.”

-END-