“Tell me you don’t love me,” you said across the dining room. Taehyung was in the middle of cleaning up the table after dinner and but you couldn’t wait any longer. Going through dinner was long enough. You couldn’t take it anymore. You two had been shuffling around the bush for months now and it had gotten to be enough.

 

“What do you mean?” His voice was stern as if to tell you to stop talking and his eyes were mean looking, almost glaring at you.

 

You didn’t let it phase you; you couldn’t, because tonight would be the last night you’d be spending with him.

 

“I mean, this is the last time we can talk about it,” you couldn’t help trying to sound calm since that was the only thing that kept you stable.

 

“Talk about what?” His eyes rolled with annoyance but you were eager to get answers tonight. You followed him to the kitchen where he set your dishes in the sink.

 

Leaning on the counter next to him while he grabbed the soap and the sponge to lather up bubbles you said, “Tell me the whole story.”

 

He ignored you it seemed like. Minutes went by with only the water from the faucet keeping it from being silent.

 

Within those minutes you stared at him. His thick eye lashes batting every time he blinked. The way his jaw curved and cut and how his hair fell, the same hair you use to run your fingers through often.

 

And within those few minutes, your memories with Taehyung rushed through your mind.

 

He wasn’t the typical love. He hadn’t been the typical guy; he was different, he was special. You’d actually known him all through high school, same group of friends and acquaintances gave you two the opportunity to learn more about each other.

 

You’d see him at the usual spot at school and you’d see his cheerful side. He’d be laughing with his friends and they’d be joking about who knows what boys joke about. Maybe it was you who actually had some feelings for him first since you could remember how nice his smile was.

 

That had always been up for discussion, who had fallen for who first. But now it was more like who fell out of love for who first.

 

You thought about how he actually made the first move. Or was it rather not a move but it just happened. You remembered how your friends had bailed out for the night, one by one; leaving you and Taehyung the last ones around the makeshift campfire everyone had started out on the shore of the beach. You remembered his light fun talking and how it led to him giving you his jacket since it was getting breezy next to the sea, like the gentleman he was.

 

And that brought you to the thought of how kind he always had been. How he would open your car door for you, no matter how much he was angry at you or how annoying you were being, he’d make sure to treat you like the princess he had always called you.

 

Taehyung, the gentleman, would even take your mom out to eat; they’d go out together, with or with out you, with you knowing, or without your knowledge. Taehyung had taken care of things that you could only be thankful for now that it wasn’t happening anymore.

 

Like how he would always walk behind you in crowded places and how he would always know when it’d be raining just to show up in front of you with his trusty umbrella. The little things he did for you trickled into your train of thought like the rain he shielded you from.

 

His sweetness was sometimes overwhelming making you the teaser of the two of you. You’d pick on him and he’d just laugh along like the good sport he was. But you picked on him, and he picked on you right back.

 

You could remember how he use to be in a band. How he was the drummer of the group, the seemingly quiet mysterious one of them. But in reality, he just had a girlfriend who he wanted to be loyal to.

 

And you thought about how he use to love to read. How he’d drag you to the library and he’d have you sit with him till he finished whatever chapter he was on before you started to nag him about how he didn’t feed you yet.

 

Or also how he use to fall asleep on the phone with you. He’d even be in the middle of talking and his sentences would just fade away making you laugh in hushed tones to he could sleep. How you use to whisper good nights every night to him even though he was already knocked out.

 

And also how he hummed, in his loud voice of his, your favorite songs to you to make you smile.

 

And how he would smile back at you because he was happy he could make you smile.

 

Just thinking about the way he use to smile at you brought butterflies to your stomach. His smile that brought crinkles to the corners of his eyes and the same smile that had genuinely stolen your heart.

 

For 6 years since that night on the beach you two had been with each other.

 

For those 6 years, you had let yourself fall for the man you’d thought to be the one of your dreams.

 

And then your mind wound back to present time Taehyung who still hadn’t answered you. Your heart was all clenched up and you so badly wanted to give it a nice hit over the chest, but with Taehyung next to you still, you had settled for a little cough to try to clear the aching fuzzy feeling away.

 

He had finished the dishes and he turned to leave. He didn’t even bother to look at you.

 

“Seriously,” you started to say.

 

He cut you off, “Come to bed with me. We’ll talk.”

 

You couldn’t even see his face as he said this; he had already turned and made his way away from you.

 

Taehyung did everything like he normally did. He went to brush his teeth, wash his face, changed his clothes. He set his clothes for tomorrow on the couch in your closet you use to share. Your side of the closet was empty; guess it wasn’t yours anymore since everything was packed up, ready to be taken away.

 

With the seconds dragging on till he was finished, you waited patiently in bed for him.

 

Like it was normal, you waited for your soon to be ex-husband to come to you. His hair slightly damp from his tendency to roughly wash his face, he crawled into bed next to you. You could smell him and as if your body knew you wouldn’t be seeing him again, it automatically took in a huge whiff of his homey smell.

 

“What do you want?” Taehyung said after he turned the table light off on his side. The room was dark and you were glad it was. The tears you had tried to hold back earlier was threatening to spill out.

 

“Can we talk about what happened now?” You voice trembled.

 

“Ask me anything,” Taehyung’s voice was clear. He didn’t seem to be emotional about you leaving at all.

 

“I don’t want to ask you. I want you to tell me in your own words, the truth,” your voice was so much smaller than his.

 

“Where should I start?”

 

“Start with the beginning.”

 

And that’s what he did that night.

 

He told you about how he met her. How often he saw her at the coffee shop he’d go to every morning. He told you about the day it had been raining, and of course, he had an umbrella. He told you about how he walked her to work that day. And how kind she was.

 

And even though you were sitting there beside him, he told you about how amazing this girl was. And even though you were sitting next to him, he used words like ‘love’ and ‘beautiful’. He used words that you had never heard him put together to describe you before.

 

And you wondered just how amazing this girl really was.

 

He told you about how he didn’t think about it at first. And you knew it wasn’t an excuse anymore since there was actually nothing to save between you two anymore. You knew he was being honest when you heard him say that he was still loyal to you after their first encounter.

 

But then you also knew how honest he was when he described to you the way she laughed and how nice it was to his ears.

 

You couldn’t help the tears now. And the usual hums and ‘uh huh’ that you had given him to signal you were still listening had turned into sniffles and harder breathing.

 

And Taehyung still knew you like the back of his hand, so he knew you were crying. But just like how ruthless he had been to you these past months, he continued talking about her like you were really fine with it.

 

“I just knew,” he said. It was finally the end of their love story and your tears were still streaming slightly down your face.

 

“Knew what?” you mustered up enough voice to ask.

 

“I just knew that she was supposed to be next to me.”

 

And you felt the inferiority hit you then. Was the place you were laying not supposed to be yours? Since it was next to him? Was this her place?

 

As much as you’d been asking Taehyung to know the tory between you two, it didn’t hurt less though you were preparing for it. 

 

He didn’t bother to spare the details either. He had told you about their dates in the mornings and you had remembered how early he left since around the time they met. And he mentioned dates at night too, and you remembered all the times he said he had to work at the office later since there was a high-end client. All the dates he had put off to work had made more sense.

 

But your heart ached a bit more when you remembered how easily he brushed you off on your birthday. He had bought you roses and canceled dinner that night.

 

That’s the night you had caught him actually.

 

Your friend wanted to take you out since Taehyung was ‘busy’. You went to your favorite restaurant since you had already made reservations there thinking you’d be spending the night with Taehyung, your husband.

 

And with your friend on your arm, you happily went to diner only to spot the smile you love across the room. He was directly across the room too, right in your line of sight.

 

You didn’t have the guts to go to him though. You sat in your seat; your friend was fuming next to you, begging you to take a stand and to demand the truth from him. You sat in your seat and waited till he got up to leave with her. You spent your birthday dinner staring at your husband having dinner with some other woman.

 

And after dinner, you had gone home to wait for him.

 

And waited was what you did.

 

The hours of the night turned into hours of the next day and you couldn’t believe what happened next.

 

After waiting the whole night, your husband of however many years at that point had stumbled into your front doors, half drunk and half singing a new song you didn’t even recognize. Probably one of her favorite songs.

 

And you seeing him so happy after deceiving you made you so angry, you slapped him. It echoed through your home and it knocked him absolutely sober.

 

“Hey,” his voice was soft unlike how he had come in, loud and obnoxious, “What was that for?” 

 

“You’re hurting me,” you only had childish words to spew at him since you couldn’t think properly anymore. You were going crazy waiting all night for him; every excuse you made for him ran through your mind that night and every time you had a good excuse in his defense you would look over at the electronic illuminated clock lights and realize that you husband slept somewhere else other than home next to you. Then you’d remember his smiles at her, and her smiles back, and how pretty she was. And all the hated and anger rolled back into your veins.

 

And with your words of anger, Taehyung knew you knew.

 

And he reacted like how you thought. He was apologetic. He begged for forgiveness. He pleaded and he showered you with gifts and attention.

 

You weren’t buying it though. But lying there this last night made you sort of wish you had.

 

Then the day came where he got tired of asking you to forgive him. Taehyung had grown tired of trying to make you feel better. He was tired of trying to reaffirm his love for you. Taehyung was tired of trying to get you back to how you had been before. Taehyung just grew tired of you in general.

 

And he realized how much he cared for that other girl.

 

And he realized he didn’t need you anymore since the other girl was still there.

 

And he realized that since she was still there after learning about you and him; after he saw how patiently she waited for him about how much she trusted in him, he realized what he loved about her even more.

 

She gave him forgiveness in his mistakes, something you couldn’t do.

 

And though he chose to stay with you at first, you let that go because you thought he’d always return to you. Because you had believed him when he said you were his love.

 

At this point, sobbing was probably heard by your whole neighborhood this last night you had together. You were crying and wailing in bed and you didn’t care if Taehyung was there anymore.

 

You cried over losing him when you still had a chance. You cried for not trusting him after he came out with the truth. You cried for loving such a man that could hurt you like that. You cried for everything even if it wasn’t completely your fault. You cried so hard that breathing evenly became hard.

 

And there the gentleman Taehyung came out again, he rubbed your back and he pulled you close into his arms. You clenched onto his shirt with tight fists as if clenching it would keep him from leaving you.

 

You two fell asleep somewhere between your sobbing.

 

You woke up often that night, checking to see if Taehyung was still holding you. The day was supposed to be rolling over but instead, clouds formed in front of the sun and the day was marked to be a gloomy one.

 

You had been up for a while but after see him stir a bit you spoke up,

 

“Morning,” you said to him.

 

“Good morning,” he said back, another stab to the heart. How could he think of this as a good morning?

 

You could only look at him with sad eyes.

 

Taehyung crawled out of bed. He went to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

 

You didn’t even bother. You left the house in your pajamas.

 

And as if on cue, the rain started to pour, but that was fine with you since it masked the tears you had let fall.

 

There had been so many tears shed already; you were surprised you could sill cry.

 

You were walking in the rain like a mad woman, but you could barely care.

 

Till would could heard someone running your way.

 

“What are you doing?!” Taehyung pulled your shoulders to turn you to face him. His face was livid.

 

“I’m going home,” you said before ripping yourself from his grip.

 

“I could’ve taken you! You’re being crazy. It’s pouring!” Taehyung pulled you back into the direction of the house. He struggled to pull open the umbrella he brought with him since the winds were blowing so hard.

 

You just watched him.

 

He managed to get it open and he tried reaching for you.

 

You took a step back.

 

"Tell me you don't love me."

 

With some hesitation he said, "I don't love you."

 

“Then I’m fine,” and you turned to leave. He didn’t stop you that time.