Namjoon was walking down the street, bumping shoulders with strangers who didn’t seem to care enough to move out of the way. It was clear to anyone that Namjoon was distressed, tense shoulders, harsh glare and a frown, which these past few days had seemed to have decorated his face permanently. On his way to the address, he was sent, he started thinking about everything that had happened the past week.

It had only been six days since the last fight with his boyfriend, Seokjin. He could still hear his words ringing in his ears. Namjoon’s own words, that is. Seokjin barely said anything during these fights, he just quietly sat there and took in everything Namjoon had to say. It was not even something serious Namjoon was mad about, it never was. He couldn’t even recall what had set him off.

He felt his hands shaking. His sore feet moving mechanically across the street, the rain wasn’t too bad but he could tell it would pick up soon enough.
Weather to match my mood, Namjoon thought as he looked up at the grey sky.

When Namjoon went to bed the night he had the fight with Seokjin, he didn’t really feel right. It may have been the fact that his boyfriend wasn’t beside him in bed, like he had been for the past seven months of living together. It may have been because he felt guilty about all the things he had said to Seokjin. Or it may have been because he didn’t actually know where Seokjin was right then. Seokjin had stormed out of the apartment after Namjoon had taken his insults and assumptions a bit too far.

It had been three days since he had last seen some evidence that Seokjin was alive at least. He had arrived home from a long day at work. The days had seemed longer, not knowing whether or not Seokjin would be there when he got home. However, what he came home to was not something he had expected. In the closet next to the front door was only Namjoon’s jackets and shoes. Seokjin’s polaroid pictures were taken off the wall, and the pictures of both of them were torn and on the ground. The living room lacked all of Seokjin’s colourful decoration pillows, and the kitchen was almost empty. The bedroom they shared were a mess, Namjoon’s clothes were all over the floor, and Seokjin’s clothes were nowhere to be seen. However, the thing that hit Namjoon the hardest were the promise ring laying abandoned on the desk. It was the ring Namjoon had given Seokjin on their second anniversary. Namjoon stood there for a few seconds looking at the ring, before the harsh reality hid him. Seokjin had left him.

For good? Namjoon wondered, as he shakily walked over and picked up the ring. He fiddled with it for a few seconds, his feelings settling heavy in his chest as he felt the tears beginning to sting in his eyes.

As Namjoon reached a bridge, he decided to check the time. He was going to be late if he didn’t speed up. He set off into a sprint, running for the life of him, as he knew if he was late, the chances of getting Seokjin back would be even slimmer. He was breathing hard as he reached the end of the bridge and he decided to slow down as he would be there on time if he walked the rest of the way. It wasn’t that far. He knew the area pretty well, seeing as one of Namjoon and Seokjin’s many mutual friends lived there.

He rounded a corner and immediately spotted the tall standing figure of his boyfriend, standing under a parasol.
Boyfriend? Can I still call him that? Namjoon thought, as he looked at Seokjin.

‘’Hello Namjoon-ah.’’ Namjoon heard Seokjin’s voice call out as he reached the spot where he was supposed to meet the older.

‘’Hey Seokjin-hyung,’’ He answered, rubbing his neck, a nervous habit he had. He looked Seokjin in the eyes, and noticed how red and puffy they were. It was clear that he had been crying for some time.

Namjoon eyed the building they were in front of and he noticed it was a coffee shop.

‘’Should we go inside?’’ He asked Seokjin carefully, knowing the boy probably wasn’t too fond with him at the moment.

‘’No, I just want this conversation to be over as quickly as possible,’’ Seokjin answered, crossing his arms, ‘’I’m only here because I know the owners.’’ He said, gesturing to the coffee shop behind him.

‘’Look Seokjin, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been, as you said, kind of neglecting you and our relationship, but I’ve been dealing with some stuff personally and you know tha-‘’

‘’I know that you’ve been ‘’dealing with stuff’’, but that doesn’t mean you can just ignore me, forget dates, come home late every night and a list of other things I don’t even want to talk about right now,’’ Seokjin interrupted Namjoon, tears welling up in his eyes once again,
‘’you can talk to me you know. For weeks I’ve felt the bond between us breaking, I don’t even feel like I know the person standing in front of me right now. This is not the Namjoon I fell in love with 3 years ago, he wouldn’t have forgotten our anniversary 2 weeks ago, he wouldn’t have decided last minute to hang out with his friends, last minute on Christmas eve… He wouldn’t have broken my heart, so many times over and over again,’’ Seokjin finished, the last bit barely above a whisper, tears silently sliding down his, almost ghostly white cheeks caused by the freezing cold.

‘’Jinnie, I didn’t know you felt like this.. You should have said something to me, when you started to feel like I was forgetting you, instead of letting me go and mess up so badly you felt the need to move out,’’ Namjoon spoke, still keeping his voice a tad bit lower than his normal speaking voice, afraid he would scare the upset boy standing in front of him,
‘’I know forgetting our anniversary was completely on my behalf and I am so, so sorry but why didn’t you tell me?’’

Seokjin took a deep breath, thinking about what to say. There he was stood, in front of his boyfriend, whom he hadn’t seen for almost a week.

‘’I’m not sure Namjoon, I’m not sure if this is going to last.. This isn’t the first time you’ve forgotten stuff like this or left me feeling neglected, it’s just been getting worse since we moved in together. I don’t know if it’s because we spent too much time together,’’ Seokjin in the cold air to finish the sentence he didn’t really know if he was ready to say.
‘’If it’s like this, after living together for such a short amount of time, what wouldn’t it be like when we got married? Had kids? What would our future be then?’’

Namjoon could feel the hot tears burning against his cold skin as Seokjin finished his sentence.

He’s right, Namjoon thought. Maybe we were moving too fast. Maybe we weren’t ready. Maybe I wasn’t ready. Namjoon breathed in shakily as he thought of the last reason that seemed possible right now. Maybe we just aren’t right for each other.

‘’Look Seokjin.. I haven’t been treating you right and I know that. Neglecting you and our plans, date nights and anniversaries. All the fights there have been in the past, and even more so recently, with me shouting at you over nothing, and you just sitting there, taking all my hurtful words to heart. I know I’m the only one to blame, and I know that is a reason you have decided to leave.

‘’As much as it hurts to say, I can’t blame you, I would have left too, if I had endured what you did. It’s no way to live with a partner. You, of all people, you, Kim Seokjin, deserve so much better. You are so beautiful on the inside out, just you staying with me all this time, putting up with all my bull, says a lot about that. But I think we have both figured out that I just can’t give you what you need. And with the late work hours at the studio, I can’t be there enough for you.’’

Both Namjoon and Seokjin were almost sobbing at this point. They both knew where this was going, Seokjin had planned for the evening to end that way, but still the harsh reality was not something he could ever prepare himself for.

‘’Seokjin.. I think it’s best if we each go our different ways. You need to find a guy who will treat you with the love and respect that I could never give you. You need to find the love that will make it worth waiting all night for your significant other to come home. You need to know you won’t get yelled at for no reason when said person returns home.’’

Namjoon and Seokjin looked each other in the eyes and they knew this was it. It was their goodbye. Maybe not forever, but in the context of their relationship and their lives together it had definitely reached the end of the book.

Seokjin reached his arms out, signalling to Namjoon that he wanted a last hug, saying goodbye to three years of love, hate, happiness, sadness and closeness.
As soon as their chests met, Seokjin completely broke down, ugly sobs leaving his mouth as he breathed in the scent of his, now, ex-boyfriend.

They stood there for a good few minutes rocking from side to side, Namjoon trying to calm down the older boy, as his sobs turned to small sniffles, though Seokjin’s hold on Namjoon’s jacket didn’t loosen until he felt Namjoon beginning to push him back a bit.

‘’This is for the best Seokjin. Remember that. And even though we’re not together anymore, I still want you to have this,’’ Namjoon said as he reached in to his pocket and pulled out the promise ring Seokjin had left at their apartment.

Well, I guess it’s just my apartment now, Namjoon thought to himself as he looked at the ground and placed the ring in Seokjin’s palm.

‘’I guess this is it then.’’ Namjoon said as he looked Seokjin in the eyes for the last time.

‘’I guess it is,’’ Seokjin spoke carefully, ‘’thank you.’’

As Namjoon turned around and started walking his way back to his apartment, he didn’t fail to hear the sobs and cries coming from in front of the coffee shop. The rain, which was still falling, soon succeeded to ring louder in Namjoon’s ears than the agonizing sounds his ex-lover made.

Thank you, Kim Seokjin, Namjoon said in his head as he walked towards the bridge,
for being everything I could ever want and more. I love you, with all of my heart. Goodbye.

As the night went on, the rain continued to fall, as quickly and steadily as the tears of both of the ex-lovers. It was not the easiest night for any of them, but they both tried to convince themselves that this was for the best.

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So I know the ending was a bit rushed, but I'm still trying to get into writing again.
hope you enjoyed reading :)
Please like and comment if you liked it, and comment if you didn't telling me what I can do better ^^
also please leave prompts in the comments so I can get writing some more :p

anyways thank you all so so much for reading, i love youuuu