Yoongi was never born to be anyone special; he studied 5 hours a day and still only got above average grades, his brother is a big shot lawyer and Yoongi is a high school music teacher, Yoongi’s friend's parents are getting a divorce and are fighting for custody. Yoongi’s parents don’t love each other but don’t hate each other, they just bare with it for the sake of practicality. Yoongi realises on early in life that he was meant to be the person you pass by on the street and never thinks twice, doesn’t care if he vanishes once he leaves your vision, a nameless face in a nameless crowd. Yoongi doesn’t think he has ever had someone approaching him, just to say a simple hello, not to say he was a loner because that still meant you had an identity. No, Yoongi was acquaintances with everybody and no he is not social, everyone is okay with him, they like him enough to talk to him but never enough to go out of their way to initiate a conversation with him. It was depressing; knowing you meant nothing to anybody, besides maybe his parents, but in the real life a person is defined by the people you are surrounded by, and if no one is with you what does that make you? Nothing, that is who Yoongi is. That’s why Yoongi is so surprised that Kim Taehyung notices him, much less asks him out.

Kim Taehyung was special; he wasn’t necessarily smart, at science and math but amazing in languages and history, he doesn’t have siblings so he is his parent’s only concern and attention is solely on him, he loves attention and he has it. Taehyung is amazingly good looking and has a room, no world brightening smile and an amazingly sweet personality. He draws people in like a moth to a flame, Taehyung is the fire, passionate and alive, but just like a fire not only did he burn, but he burned quickly, the fire wood turning to ash almost instantly, he needed someone watching him constantly so he didn’t burn out, it was Jungkook for a long time, giving him the friendship Taehyung needed, so when Jungkook started dating someone else and breaking Taehyung’s heart because he wasn’t enough, of course he’d find someone who never looked at himself but at others, someone who cared so little for his own life that he’d give up everything for someone, anyone who’d show an ounce of not even love but plain acknowledgement for him, and that someone was Min Yoongi.

***

Yoongi already knows Taehyung is cheating on him.

Yoongi already knows Taehyung is cheating on him, but he won’t do anything.

Yoongi already knows Taehyung is cheating on him, but he won’t do anything, infact he never will because he knows Taehyung can do so much better. Taehyung can do so much better it’s comical how they lasted so long, how they lasted 5 years and Taehyung is only cheating on him now actually. His heart is torn up in shreds, his lungs are always about to collapse, whenever Taehyung speaks and looks serious, he is so scared, so, so scared that he wakes up crying, shaking that one day Taehyung will leave him, tell him he found someone better and leave because it would be so easy for him. Yoongi knows who it is, it was Taehyung’s old best friend, the one Taehyung loved, the one that painted a beautiful smile on his face in an instant, 5 years into the relationship Yoongi still can’t do it, can’t make that boxy grin that shows his teeth and gums, that make his eyes turn into lines and have him his head and smile, he’s gotten close though. Yoongi knew Taehyung never stopped loving, well at one point he did, he thought Taehyung finally moved on, it was on their second anniversary. Taehyung made dinner and set the whole apartment with candles and roses and when he looked at Yoongi he smiled and that was the closest he got, to that real smile. What’s worse was that Yoongi thought at that moment that this was it, someone wanted him, someone was looking at him like he was something special, but then two years later, Jungkook came running to Taehyung because his boyfriend broke up with him, Yoongi doesn’t hate Jungkook he understands him it’s not as if he is forcing Taehyung but he remembers walking into his apartment that him and Taehyung shared to Jungkook cradled in Taehyung’s lap crying and crying and Yoongi knows Taehyung, he saw the bits of hope hidden behind fake sadness and grief. It was funny how Taehyung cradled Jungkook’s hands and as they stared into each other’s eyes as if they were in love when Yoongi was right there, watching. Watching as Taehyung brushed away tears and smiled at Jungkook, the smile that Taehyung has never shown to Yoongi. Yoongi remembers being selfish, remembers how he went to sit beside Taehyung and kiss him on the cheek staring at Jungkook the whole time. That was probably Yoongi’s first mistake because when he greeted Taehyung all the warmth and love was gone, Taehyung brushing him off hello then immediately ignored him to focus on Jungkook. It was Yoongi’s fault that they fought that night, it was stupid of him to think that someone wanted him, stupid to think that someone would pick him over someone else. That’s really when reality came crashing down; that effort isn’t everything, no matter what no one would want Yoongi, no one would want anyone as plain or as boring as him. Yoongi knew that Taehyung hasn’t stopped loving and it didn’t help lessen the pain.

It got easier, pretending that he didn’t know; at first it was hell, walking home and constantly passing Jungkook by his hair disheveled and smelling like in the lobby of the complex, or right outside their door, completely brushing him off. In the beginning Yoongi still went straight home deciding to ignore it. Yoongi stopped doing that, after seeing Taehyung get so jittery because it was too close a call, and Taehyung would end up not speaking, so instead whenever he saw Jungkook he would go right outside their door and sit and wait. He waited for about 20 minutes till going in by then, Taehyung has mentally prepared himself and can then lie to Yoongi about how busy his day was. It was an artform by now, the smiles Taehyung would show Yoongi, the foundation that Taehyung hides on his bed side table to cover the hickies, the perfume he uses to make the house not smell of . Yoongi would be impressed if his heart wasn’t tearing at the seams, but Yoongi beared through the pain, grit his teeth because losing Taehyung would only cause more pain.

Taehyung can’t process what’s happening, why is Jungkook telling him he can’t do this anymore? Taehyung was the one cheating, Jungkook shouldn’t be feeling guilty, he isn’t the one doing something wrong, Taehyung is, Taehyung is cheating…

Taehyung I’m sorry… but you are with someone. Don’t you realize that’s what Jimin did to me! I know how much it hurt’s, I can’t do this to someone who has done nothing wrong.

Bull! I’m the one cheating! You make no sense you already did it, we already sealed the fact that Yoongi will find out and get hurt! Ending it now will do nothing!

It’s not for Yoongi! It’s for me! I feel so guilty and I can’t continue doing this! I honestly have no idea how you can deal with it!

But don’t you understand? What I did for you? That I love you! That if it really means that much I can just break up with him

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