Byunghun pov :

what audacity ?  What has the world come to ?

The whole way back , I pretended to be asleep seeing as how I was not in the mood to engage in any conversation especially not with The maknae or Chanhee himself .

Still , I could clearly hear their laughter ringing in my head .

Damn .

What the freaking ? Ain’t it enough they went as far as doing that for fanservice ? Now they are laughing together like morons .

Hotel :

As soon as we got back , Niel and Ricky nearly passed out on the spot . We had .. well , the others had to carry , drag them to their rooms . And guess what ?

When I was just about to head to my room  ready to erase the memories of such terrible night , the reason for my annoyance showed up besides me and ruffled my hair , his way of teasing me . Even though he is the maknae , he likes treating me like a kid or a puppy .

Meanwhile , I was killing him a thousand times in my head . How could he be so clueless ? How could they all be so god damn clueless ? Can’t they see the words “ I’m freaking jealous “ on my forehead ?

Sagacity hasn’t even brushed past you , has it ?  

I really wanted to yell that but kept silent .

Instead of playfully hitting him like usual , I literally ignored his existence and made my way towards my room where I would be alone with Chanhee .

He was already lying down on his bed , ready to slip into wonderland and welcome his much needed sleep but I will not give him the chance to rest peacefully when I’m nearly going insane brooding over that moment of his with Jonghyun .

“ Chanhee .. “ I whispered as I flopped down on my bed wondering how all of it would escalate .

“ Hm.. “ He hummed , eyes still closed and whole being succumbing to sleep .

Great .

“ Something happened tonight .. “ I trailed off , suddenly hesitant about confronting him ..

As I predicted , he stayed still for a while before finally opening his eyes and turning on his side to face me , signs of sleep gradually leaving his darkened brown eyes .

“ What is it ? “

Well , what happened is that Jonghyun just so happened to lift you up and spun you around like how couples would do and that just so happens to bother me .

After some reluctance on my part , I finally revealed the reason behind my bitter mood .

“ Well , you know how we all do our best to make our fans happy even if it meant doing extreme fanservice .. Even though we all know who likes who , even though we shouldn’t take it seriously , it’s beyond our control . “

Eyes married with doubt , Chanhee gazed at me trying to process the whole thing  . He then reacted to it in playful disbelief .

“ You ? Jealous of Jong ? “

I could literally feel the scoff in his words with my skin .. If possible , my mood turned even sour after hearing that . It was as if he was expecting it to be the last reason for my behavior . I bet he would be acting like a possessive idiot if I were to go back to my fanservice era with Niel ( we used to take it so far to be honest ) .

Yes , I’m jealous and of Jonghyun . why is it so strange if I did ?

“ You really can be so dense sometimes . “ He chuckled before speaking up as he turned to his other side as if what I just said valued nothing .

No . No . No . Lee , Chanhee . You are not going to give me your back and behave as if I’m some kind of a child whose words and feelings can be ignored with ‘ he is just a child ‘

I found myself sitting upright staring at his back in disbelief .

My previous brooding has now turned to anger and so it’s with little to no restraint that  I snapped at him .

“ So what ?? Jonghyun is a very handsome fine young man , he lives with us under the same roof , he dances and performs with us , shares the same bed sometimes  . Give me one plausible reason why I shouldn't feel jealous ! ”

Almost instantly , the elder spun around and sat upright , eyes narrowed as he questioned himself whether or not he had heard the younger right . Because if so then there will be hell to pay .

How could he ? How dare he degrade  Chanhee’s sincere and immensely strong feelings to literally nothing like that ?? How could he so simply and easily underestimate it ?

How could he doubt it ? There's a huge difference between getting jealous for attention and doing so assuming that your lover could actually grow feelings for another .

And right now Byunghun clearly categorized himself as the latter .

“ What are you taking me for ??! A kid going through different candies just because he presumably  got bored of previous flavors ??? Well , here's some newsflash , If I’m gonna be compared to one , I‘d rather be the poor child who doesn't have enough money to buy candies at all !!! ”

If I'm gonna be doubted for possibly liking jonghyun more than just friends , I ‘d rather have no lover at all .  And since it's either Byunghun or no one ,  might as well start getting used to being single.  

Ouch … Such a harsh blow , Byunghun inwardly winced . Chanhee’s words , tone and gaze altogether made him feel sick to the stomach .. They had a scalding effect on him .

What.. what was Chanhee insinuating ?

Faintly , he registered the sound of the door slamming shut and the room devoid of Chanhee .

He had tried to keep his emotions under control but his eyes had a mind of their own and started moistening as soon as he realized the weight of their words .

the tears could wait no more and finally broke free , eagerly rushing down his face in copious amounts . He dropped down on the mattress and curled in fetal position breathing heavily , lips quivering and heart ice cold .

Next day :

Byunghun deliberately woke up earlier than the others in order to make himself a quick remedy for his puffy eyes .

Like a zombie , he trudged his way to the kitchen , filled the kettle with water and turned it on then got a tea bag and dropped it in a cup then waited , sighing along   .

As soon as the kettle’s light went off , he poured some on the cup and hurried to the bathroom before anyone could catch him .

It’s during those times that he wishes he wasn’t living with so many people . He longed for some privacy .

He wanted to be able to cry loudly , scream and protest not struggle to hide it . He wanted to let it out ..

Sighing at his own thoughts , he took the tea bag and gently pressed it on his eyes for a while trying to relax and  calm down .

An hour later :

The day was not Byunghun’s lucky day because right now , he is stuck in the presence of Chanhee and Niel .

The youngest said something about Chanhee clearly asking the rapper about the vocal but the said ignored it scoffing sarcastically before provoking Chanhee indirectly and Niel discerned that they had a fight . He couldn't believe it though .

He knew nothing could have caused that except that incident yesterday .
Yet He couldn't believe they would actually fight because of something so trivial .

But now that he thinks of it , Jonghyun seems to always put himself in trouble . Niel could vibrantly recall that time Minsoo got irked because of Changniel moments / fanservice .

Chanhee pursed his lips and shut his eyes as he drew in a fierce breath trying to suppress his anger . He didn’t want to make any remark lest he ended up adding salt to injury .

“ Did you really think I’d tolerate each and every verbal attack of yours without attacking back with a reaction of my own ? Well , If so then you were gravely mistaken  . I’m not the harmless prince you think I am . “

Anyways back to real world .. oh dear .. seems like Chanhee had just retorted a full-fledged sour comeback at Byunghun  .  And it just so happened that the others woke up and joined the scene in that moment .


Byunghun narrowed his eyes taking in all of the elder’s words .

Let's start counting , shall we ? Things aggravating Byunghun so far , the scene that kept replaying itself in his mind over again and again like a   ing persistent broken tape  .

The fact that Chanhee , when confronted about it reacted so aggressively. He even took it so far to the point of keeping distance instead of trying to patch things up like he usually does .


And now cheery on top , he was yelling at him .
His Chanhee was coldly yelling at him and mind you , in front of the others !

Byunghun felt certifiably pissed off .
With all of that wrenching at his insides , the said rapper stared in disbelief . He wanted to slap himself because his mind couldn't come up with a powerful comeback , let alone one at all .
 

So settling for a scoff and a " yea , I noticed " Byunghun passed by Chunji . yes Chunji , he is no longer Chanhee .

He is just a band-mate . or even less . omit the mate .

He deliberately knocked the other's shoulder and proceeded with his course of action .

As much as he wanted no needed to shut himself in his room , he didn't want to look like a little girl sulking and not knowing how to deal with her problems . So he forced whatever terrible emotions assaulted his being and chose to eat with them .

However , seems like someone was not done with their grand speech .

“ Do not pin the blame on me or jonghyun or anyone for that matter when it's all in your head ! ”  Chanhee reprimanded harshly slamming whatever he was holding against  the counter .

“ It's not our fault you let your insecurities blind you ! "

Off limit .. Going that far in front of them .. Byunghun clamped his mouth

Trying valiantly to calm down to  the best of his ability .

However close they had gotten to what family feels like ,  the idea of Chanhee snapping at him in front of them didn't sit well with him .

And when that happens ,  Byunghun loses his cool .

“ You gave me no reason not to ! ”

Deep inside , Byunghun knew he was tossing baseless accusations .  But he couldn't help himself . He wanted so badly to retort back for argument's sake .  

The elder could only stare blankly like he couldn't wrap his head around what he had just heard but he did hear right .  

Chanhee Scoffed in disbelief before speaking up  , his voice dangerously calm contradicting the brewing storm he felt inside .

“ What ??! ”

He really didn't want to lose control over his emotions . he didn't want to say something in a moment of blind anger and regret it later . However , it seemed Byunghun himself was asking for it , wanting to hear it .

“ Lee Byunghun , If you want to get all dramatic then suit yourself but don’t ever think I would stand still and watch . I hope you feel responsible enough and bear the consequences of your words . “

Breakfast ruined . Check .

words count : 2129 

updated 3 june 2016 

I’m gonna post this pic every time I update from now on .

If not to encourage readers then to at least draw their attention to that topic in particular .