A/N: This chapter may make people uncomfortable however it was my intention to make a "real" story challenging different emotions. 

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Nayeon’s stomach churned in all different directions. She felt nauseated sitting on a chair at the back of assembly of chairs waiting for the guests to arrive. As much as she wanted to help Jaehwan’s parents, she sat in silence watching them make the final arrangements for the funeral. They had been planning this for more than a week with Nayeon attempting to mentally prepare herself for this day but she couldn’t hold back the tears at the thought of seeing Jaehwan’s coffin.

“Nayeon… hey”

“Hakyeon oppa. Its good to see you. Thank you for being here” Nayeon looked up helplessly and immediately hugged her older brother in the hopes to find comfort or even hopet.

“Of course I’d be here. I know how much it means to you. I’m always looking out for you” Hakyeon smoothed his sister’s hair, knowing she’d need his presence in such a difficult time. “I hope you don’t mind, I brought my friend Hongbin. You’ve met him before”

Nayeon looked up and detached herself from her brother’s embrace. She gave a meek smile towards the tall male who stood near Hakyeon.

“Hey Nayeon. Your brother brought me over to keep an eye on you when he isn’t around. I’m very sorry for your loss” Hongbin returned the small smile, giving light to his dimples. She had met Hongbin a few times and he’d always be polite to her so she didn’t mind he had come. She knew her brother would need help trying to keep her grounded during the ceremony.

“Thank you both for coming. I should probably go greet the other guests as well” Nayeon took a deep breath in and left the two boys to find their seats.

Nayeon felt uneasy the whole time she was greeting everyone. Naturally everyone gave their condolences but she hadn’t wrapped her mind at the fact she would be hearing these sad words and receiving shoulder pats of pity. Her head spun in fatigue as she was reminded of her restless nights of twisting and turning in the upcoming days to the funeral. Nayeon grabbed hold of the nearest seat, trying to make herself steady. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips,  holding back tears. She didn’t want to cry in front of all these people who were feeling the same way, she wanted to be strong for them... and for Jaehwan. Soon she was moved towards her seat at the front of the venue. Looking up she recognised her brother who now sat next to her.

“Deep breaths. You can get through this” reassured Hakyeon.

Nayeon felt her clammy hands with her fingertips trying to regain some strength after Hakyeon’s words. She looked over at Jaehwan’s mother who took her hand in her own as the coffin was brought down the aisle. The grip on their hands were tight as they both tried to stay strong. When Jaehwan’s father came down the aisle carrying the coffin along with other men from Jaehwan’s family, Nayeon could no longer stay strong. She unclasped her hand from Jaehwan’s mother bringing her hands to her face, silently sobbing. She wished she could’ve stayed strong for longer like Jaehwan’s mother but she didn’t realise how much this affected her weak self until now. She had thoughts of leaving the ceremony but remained determined to make sure Jaehwan knew how much she loved him. Taking two deep breaths she took hold of Jaehwan’s mother and gave her a slight nod to reassure her. She listened to all of the speeches and watched all the flowers being laid near the coffin, tears running down her face slowly. Everything became a blur as the tears stained her face but she remained in her seat,  not bringing herself to look into the coffin.

“Nayeon sweetie. Its your turn to make your speech” Jaehwan’s mother gave her a slight nudge and nodded towards the podium with the microphone. Only as she walked up towards the podium did she finally look into the coffin. She took one glimpse and fresh tears made their way down her face.

Hesitating at the podium, her voice cracked as she began her speech.

“H-hi everyone. I’m going to keep this short not because he didn’t mean the world to me but because I don’t think I can hold myself together for very long… Jaehwan was a beautiful person inside and out. He made my life perfect. He treated me like… like a princess and he was my prince. He always knew what I needed but sadly I didn’t know what he needed. He was perfect to me but I guess I never saw how wilted he must’ve felt. But either way what I do know is that… knowing him was a treasure to my life. I’m sure we can all agree he made everyone smile. He always believed in everyone and… and he had made me a better person. By knowing Jaehwan, I learnt how to love, I learnt respect but most importantly, I learnt that life isn’t perfect and despite that we need to keep trying as much as we can to bring happiness to others and to ourselves. Our Jaehwan may have left us but his message lives on. Jaehwan… I love you. We all love you.... So so much. Thank you”

Nayeon left the podium, looking back towards the coffin solemnly she gave her last ‘flying’ kiss. She smiled as all the memories her and Jaehwan had made flashed through her mind before walking slowly back to her seat. She sat down gingerly on the edge of her seat and the tears began to fall again. She was surprised they hadn’t fallen earlier but I guess deep down she knew it was important to get her message across. Nayeon felt arms rest on her back, consoling her.

“Thank you” she whispered to no one in particular. It could’ve been implied towards the people who consoled her and it also could’ve been implied to Jaehwan who she knew would remain in her heart for a very long time.

After the funeral had ended, Nayeon remained in her seat staring straight at the closed coffin that was about to be taken. She admired the array of flowers that had been placed on the steps of the stage. It represented all of the people who appreciated Jaehwan, all the people Jaehwan impacted greatly. It made Nayeon both happy and sad at the same time. It made her happy to know many people had been touched by Jaehwan in their lives but it also made her sad to know Jaehwan had left not only herself, but many others too.

“Nayeon that was a lovely speech you made” Jaehwan’s mother had come back to sit next to her after talking to the other guests. Nayeon could tell Mrs Lee’s eyes were glossy and her face remained sticky from her tears, so she offered her some tissues. Grateful Jaehwan’s mother gave a small smile. Together, they sat in silence and stared at their feet. Nayeon admired Jaehwan’s mother for her strength. Of course she had cried for her son but she had been a lot better than Nayeon at not displaying her tears when they had been planning the funeral together with Jaehwan’s father.

“You’ve been very strong, Mrs Lee. Just like Jaehwan. You should know he loved you very much and he loved talking about how beautiful you were” Nayeon had to say this to her, just in case she didn’t know Jaehwan’s true feelings or just in case she needed a reminder of Jaehwan’s love for her.

Nayeon may have lost her prince but Mrs Lee lost a son. Mrs Lee lost a person she was with since his birth. Thinking about it broke Nayeon’s heart. She couldn’t imagine the internal pain Jaehwan’s mother was going through. Looking at the closed coffin and then towards Mrs Lee, Nayeon realised through Jaehwan… she had also gained a second mother. Mrs Lee had consoled her through her parent’s divorce, Mrs Lee congratulated Nayeon when she had graduated and found a photography job, jumping up and down as Jaehwan told her. It was all because of Jaehwan she learnt important life lessons and met many good people. Now.. without Jaehwan Nayeon questioned what her life would turn out to be.

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A/N: 

Hi. Thank you to those who upvoted my story [ Light_Archer & ChanNona ] I really appreciate it! 

This chapter was very emotional and I'm sorry if it made some people uncomfortable. We've met Hongbin a little more but he'll be in this story even more later on. The angst doesn't end here though! Also our main will be trying to go back to her normal routine in the next chapter so please anticipate that.

- @maskedjaehwan / Jaellybeans