I know a lot of people went through this but it just . I lay my head on the counter glancing at the bottle of beer in my hand.

This is it. My first attempt of the bittersweet liquor. "Ahh..." I scrunched my face a little as I took a gulp.

"Are you okay, Miss?" The bartender asked as he had been watching for a while. I raise my head to look at him.

"I am.. okay. You think I can forget everything for a while if I drink all this up?"

"Depends." He said as he took out a mug and pour the beer for me.

"Huh?" I asked "Some people may need more than one." He replied.

"Hmmm..." I took the mug and drank it all up in one shot

"Urggh!" Why do people drink this! I my lips and felt the bitterness in my mouth. But I need to wipe out my pain for now at least. So I poured another and gulped it up again. I let out a sigh, why does my heart still hurts? I got myself another bottle and drowned myself again. It's no use, this pain is still not going away.

After a while, I felt the heat on my whole body especially on my face. I really need to get out of here and get some fresh air. I walked and was struggling through the crowd to the exit.

I halt a cab and hopped in. I am a bit dizzy now as the alcohol is taking effect so I close my eyes.

"Where to, Miss?"

"Hmmm..." I don't feel like going home now. "Just drive on..."

I finally stop by at a park. I strolled slowly around the place before climbing on the railing and sat on it.

As I was looking down the water, I heard a man's voice calling. "What are you doing here?"

I was startled but didn't bother to turn around. "Taking a breath of fresh air." I replied as I looked up to the sky.

"Not thinking of jumping, I hope." His deep voice seems to be concerned.

"Don't worry, I don't have the guts." I shook my head as I reply.

"Why aren't you looking at me?" The man asked. "Just don't want to."

"What? You aren't scared that I might be a bad guy." I heard the man said again with a chuckle.

"If you are, then please just kill me." I answered without much of a thought.

"So you really want to commit suicide?"

"I am still debating with myself." I replied, amused that he is thinking that I want to kill myself.

The man came and lean against the railing at least one foot from me. I glanced at him for a brief moment but since it was too dark, I can't make out his looks. All I know is that he is wearing a beanie and a dark colored jacket.

"What's the conclusion?"

"I am still not sure." I replied

I was quiet for a while but the man was still standing there.

"Hey, Mister why are you still here?"

"Just curious of your next move."

"You're really afraid that I might jump, aren't you?" I asked.

"Yes...since you asked." "Don't worry, my head is telling me not to. It's just too stupid to do so..."

"And your heart?" He asked. "My heart hurts so badly that I don't feel like living."

"Why didn't you cry?"

"My head tells me not to. Crying over that stupid idiot is not worth it."

"But crying out can make you feel much better, you should try it"

"I don't want to cry in front of a stranger."

"Okay, okay I’ll leave."

The man then walks away. I didn't really cry. I don't know why, even when my heart so stinging painful like a thousand needles had poked into it. But then I start sniffing as I start to think back...

FLASHBACK

I was on my way earlier to his apartment. From afar, I saw him standing there crossing his arms while looking left and right as if waiting for someone. "Wait, I didn't tell him I was coming." I thought to myself.

I was about to run to him when I saw a familiar girl walked towards him.

He hugged the girl and pressed his lips on hers. I froze there, my boyfriend and my best friend.

I don't know what kind of emotion it is. I was shocked. I stood there for quite sometime before going to his apartment. I need to get over it. I can't wait another minute. At least that's what my head said.

I press the doorbell a few hundred times maybe. He didn't open it.

"Don't you hide now, BRIAN! I know Eunji is with you!" I shout out loudly as my anger grows. I press the doorbell nonstop and got the neighbour peeking out from next door.

At last, the door was open, Brian was shirtless as he stepped back from the door and Eunji who was standing at the back had her blouse not properly buttoned up.

I don't know why I just laugh at them suddenly instead of crying or getting mad. "I should have known..." I laughed more loudly. They were staring at me, most probably shocked by my reaction.

"Well you two make a perfect couple" I said still laughing hysterically.

"Thanks to me, you two got together"

"Jane..." Eunji called out, she had tears in her eyes

"Why are you crying? You should be happy now that I found out, now I won't be bothering you two. So Brian, that's mean is over between us right? Congratulations." I made a fake smile.

"Jane, I am sorry, I should have ...." I quickly cut him off.

"No, it's fine... I don't need any more explanation. And Eunji, I am breaking off our friendship too."

"Farewell. " I said and stomped off.

 

I was walking endlessly after that and found a park with a playground. Then I sat down on the swing. I held back my tears. I can't cry now. It's not a big deal. I'm rationing with my head again. As the skies grew dark... I start walking again and that's how  I was landed in the pub.

 

I was crying a little louder as I remember the whole incident. "JERK! " I screamed out loudly. I didn't really care about my surrounding.

Just then a handkerchief appeared as a hand was extended towards me. I was so startled that I lean backwards and fell down. I felt myself landed on someone as he yelped. And I felt his hand was on my waist. I quickly stood up.

"Sorry," I muttered as I turn around to face him but instead I bumped into his chest. He was so tall and large that made me feel a bit scared. I felt so embarrassed that I quickly turn my back on him, without even looking and lean on the railing. But then I realize he was the same person that I have been talking to as I recognize the jacket that he was wearing.

"Are you okay?" He asked as he stepped back.

"Thanks I am fine." I replied

"You really frightened me" I said

"Sorry." He apologize and lean the rail beside me.

Why are you still here?" I said wiping my nose with the back of my hand as I sniffed.

"Here." He handed me the handkerchief again. I took it immediately.

"Just want to make sure you are okay."

"You're really really scared that I might jump isn't it?"

" Yeah," He nodded his head and laughed out.

"Don't worry. I told you before I won't. I don't have the guts." I said and start to walk away.

"I have to go now, thanks again"

"Hey there, care to tell me your name."

"It's Hanna.. Bye." I gave him a fake name, since I don't think I will meet him again.

I walk away quickly, afraid he will ask for my number. I slumped down in my bed as I went back home. And I passed out immediately after a long day.