a b o v e t h e s k i e s

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Songs. I've always expressed myself through songs. They are like colors, and maybe that's why I could express myself so vividly.

It's one of those afternoons when Bobby and I have nothing to do. When luncn came, we hang out around our favorite spot in the grounds. It was a secluded spot, only for those who seek tranquility.

We eat in silence. I hear Bobby grunt for the nth time. I look at in questioningly.

"I'm really sick of this," he says, face contorted into an annoyed expression.

"Of what?"

"Of everything! Do you ever see anything that's not in black and white? Hanbin, look at the sky, it feels like it's sketched by charcoal, though I don't even know what color a charcoal is; my mom only told me that!" He sighs.

When we are all born, the only color we will see is black and white. It seemed like those oldies television, but it's the truth. Everyone yearned to see what the world truely looks like. Everyone wanted to meet their partners.

"You look fine to me," I utter. I know it doesn't make him feel better.

I stuffed food in my mouth. We continued to eat. I heard him huffing here and then. But he said nothing more.

Often times I wondered what the monochromic world looked like. I seemed to have already forgotten that world, it was so long ago. A very long time ago. I could only remember flashes of it, strobes of images passing to my mind sometimes in the speed of light.

"Hey Hanbin, do you ever want to know?" he asks. I look at him and I see him staring off at a distance.

"About what?" I reply.

He's silent for a moment. "About the colors of the world. I don't even know what the color of my clothes are. My eyes, my hair... which color will be your favorite?"

I frown. "I don't."

It takes me a moment to realize I don't hear him munching his food. I look at Bobby to see him gaping at me as if something had dawned him. "S-so you mean--?"

They say that when you meet your soulmate, you suddenly start seeing the colors in the world. But as for me, my memory started with colors. I don't give him any response, but he keeps on staring at me. I sigh.

"Honestly Bobby, I don't know. When I finally had my own mind, the first ever and oldest memory I could think of was in colors. It's like, I've been born with them," I explain. Even I could tell it's vague.

But Bobby somehow understands. "Impossible! We're all born with these eyes and unless we meet that person we wouldn't see colors!"

I sigh. I know, this is making me crazy. "Yes, I know. Maybe I was very young when I met her."

He stills for a moment, and then I see excitement in his eyes. His coffee eyes that twinkles like the silver stars in the galaxy at night. "So?"

"So what?"

"You could see colors, Hanbin!! I've never even known hat you could until now!"

"It's because you never asked."

He gives me a look, but it only flickers for a moment and his childish sparkle is there again. "So, what colors do you see right now?"

"Are you serious?" I ask in disbelief. I don't even have to look around to count how many millions of shades there are.

"Ayyy, don't be like that!! At least describe the sky!!"

I give up. I look at the sky, absorbing its beautiful shade of blue with cottony clouds here and there (that looked like it had been scratched by a cat). Birds fly by in flocks. And for a moment I allow myself to get in by the vast sky.

It feels like I had slipped in where the fabric meets space, and space meets time. It is a calming feeling, and in this medetitive state I could see the monochromes of my past.

 

I'm running. Childish squeals. Fresh, nostalgic air. I watch as the three-year-old Kim Hanbin run past me like I'm inside an oldies movie. Everything is in black and white.

"Aigoo, you're so full of energy," a younger version of my mom speed-walking appears in my view, following the toddler. She makes sure to watch out for him from getting harmed by the surroundings, but keeps her distance enough for him to think he's actually getting away from mom.

I smile. I must have given her a hard time every time we played tag.

She suddenly lurches forward, making a "raaaaaawr" wih her hands stiffly curled in front of her. Three-year-old Hanbin squeals, and speeds up with his running. He keeps his eye on mom as he did. And I see a young girl, probably around the same age as that me, running from a perpendicular direction from the toddler Hanbin. I see what's going to happen next.

And sure enough, they collide with each other. Toddler Hanbin gets a bump on his forehead, while the toddler girl is to dazed to figure out what's going on. For a second, I frown. She looks familiar. I step forward until I am a step away from them. I vaguely hear my mom yelling worriedly muttering something like, "Apologize first before you cry!"

When the girl regains her senses, she blinks. She blinks, and smiles.

"Waaaaaah!!" She yells so loudly I wince. Even toddler Hanbin's cries are no match for her. He seems startled as to why this girl is suddenly crying, so he wipes his tears away and looks at her.

And then it happens.

I realize this world isn't in monochrome anymore. Toddler Hanbin's eyes widen, and for a second I think he's going to cry again until he meets eyes with the girl.

"Pretty!" He declares happily. The girl's eyes widen and her jaw drops a little. (Honestly, I am way more embarrassed, I can't thimk of myself saying that at all!)

Toddler Hanbin stares at the girl, and the girl stares back at him. I almost chuckle at this moment of their curiosity.

"Not black?" The girl asks with wide eyes.

"Not black!" Toddler Hanbin replies with excitement.

They squeal. Other people turn to look at them, and all they hear from the two is, "Not black!"

"Hanbin!" Mom calls.

"Jaeha!" Another woman shouts in the crowd.

The two turn to looks at the women wih huge smiles.

"MOMMY!!" They call happily.

"Are you alright, Bin?" Mom asks worriedly as she hugs the child.

"Mommy, not black?" Toddler Hanbin points at Mom's pink shirt. Mom looks relieved that my young self is fine, at the same time perplexed as to why he suddenly asks that.

"Hmm? Yes, it's color is pink," Mom replies.

"Pink?"

"Yes."

He squeals, much to my mom's surprise, and gets out of her hug, running towards the girl who just had her reunion with her mother.

"Mom!" He calls mom to near them.

The two mothers look at each other in confusion.

"Pink!!" Toddler Hanbin exclaims lightly to the dress the girl, Jaeha, is wearing.

The two mothers look surprised, with their eyes wide. And look back and forth between the two.

"This, pink?" Jaeha innocently asks.

"Ung!! Mommy says so!" Toddler Hanbin answers.

"Then, that pink too right?" She points to a nearby balloon stand, specifically towards the round pink ballon tied at one corner of the roof.

"Ah, right! Pink too! Pink too!" Toddler Hanbin agrees.
The two mothers could only watch in utter shock as the two toddlers begin to point all the pink things in the place.

"Did they just--?" My mom breaks the silence.

Jaeha's mom could barely nod. "O-oh my, that's so early..."

"Mommy?" Jaeha's mother looks down at her daughter who was clutching her white pants.

"Yes?"

"What color?" Points at her shirt.

"Yellow?"

"YELO THERE!!"

"YELO THERE TOO!!"

"Hanbin?"

I blink.

The sky is there once again. Blue, white, and fresh. I inhale the air. I feel like I just dreamed of my past life. I'm so perplexed and at the same time, warmed. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, that girl is so pretty.

"Hanbiiin?" Bobby waves a hand in front of me.

"Uh, yeahh. It's... blue, and white, and beautiful," I say.

Bobby sighs in relief. "For a second I thought you were blind," he jokes. "...what kind of beautiful?"

"The refreshing kind of one. Calming, not too blinding. At least, today, your eyes won't burn from the sun."

"So today's like the perfect weather."

Hanbin smiles. "Yeah."

It had been one of this weather that I got to meet her.

 

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a/n: so i wrote this on my phone and i have so many typos and pls forgive my grammar bec I'm sleepy af lol i'd proofread tomorrow. Maybe.