Taken Finale

 

Cheongdam-dong December 2012     We're fighting again-- fighting over the same two reasons! Goodness!      "We already talk about this, right?! Are we really going to fight again with the same reason?! They are my best friends, Kim Taeyeon!     "What the hell, Kwon Jiyong? I hate them! They are bad influence to you! You know I hate guys who smoke, who drink a lot, and who sleep around! I hate them! And I really haaaaaaaate her! UGH!"     "They are not! They are the best people in my life even before you came! So don't you ever tell me to leave them! And about Kiko? She's just a best friend!"     "Kiko likes you! I knew it! She flirts with you. She always ruined our dates!"     "No! You're just insecure!"      "Yes, I am, especially when she's more beautiful than me, ing taller than me, and most of all, ier than me! I look like a trash beside her. Why can't you just stay away from her? I hate your clinginess towards her or rather, your clinginess towards each other!"     "You can't do something about that! We're the type of best friend who loves to cling to each other!"     Great. Just great. When I thought Kwon Jiyong would be the best boyfriend ever, I was wrong-- completely wrong.      "Then what about me? What am I to you, Jiyong? I'm not just one of your best friends! I'm you girlfriend!"      "I'm tired. Let's just talk when we're already calm."     "Me or your friends? Choose."     "I love you and my friends. Don't put me in the situation where I have to choose. It ."     Octagon Club  January 2013     I found myself wearing a mask on my face and a cap on my head as a disguise. I, Kim Taeyeon, the leader of South Korea's national girl group took a lot of courage just to step my feet in this trendy club in Seoul, a club where elite people like chaebols and artists spend free time with alcohols and some quality time.     Well, the exact reason why I'm here was that I followed my boyfriend Kwon Jiyong, who's also known as G-Dragon. Three months ago, I suspected that he has another woman. It happened that while he was taking a bath, his phone rang. I read the text message from Nicky-- it's just a simple "hi, how are you?" yet it made me so paranoid and felt insecure at the same time. Since then, I always followed Jiyong without him, knowing.     As I entered the club, I could hear the music blaring. I felt their eyes on me as I passed through them, as if questioning my attire! I made my way through the VIP room. Despite of the darkness, I still recognized some familiar faces. Jiyong's best friends, like Ahreum, Soohyuk, Dara unnie and Soonhoc and others. Some have a cigarette on their hands and a glass of alcohol. His friends were wild, and so carefree. That's what I hate. They smoke. They drink. They play around. They sleep around.      I did not see Jiyong. As far as I know, that Japanese model who's always been linked to my boyfriend was in Korea. So there's a possibility that she might be here too. I looked around and there at that right corner, I spotted them. Kiko's crying. Jiyong's caressing her back. . Fake.     I approached them but much to my dismay, my boyfriend and that Japanese did not notice me. They were still in that hugging position that made me want to beat them and make a scandal. People thought wrong. Being dork, nice, and calm were all just staged-personalities. This is the real Kim Taeyeon, not dork, not nice, and not calm. I may look calm in the outside, but truthfully, I am paranoid at everything.     "So, hello, I guess?" I sit across them and thank God, they noticed me! Dumbfounded was the best word for them at this moment.      "..." they're too shocked to even say a word. Why? Because the great Kim Taeyeon caught them and they're finally facing her, and they're dead later. He let go of the Kiko and approached me.     "T-Taeyeon?"      "Taeyeon-ssi?"      "You looked shocked. Did I disturb you, two?"     "It's not what you think of, Tae. I was just comforting Kiko. She had a fight with her--" Jiyong tried explaining but was cut off by my next action.     I approached Kiko and gave her a hard slap on the face that left a mark on it. Other people inside that room were too busy to notice that there's a commotion happening.     "You know, just leave us alone, okay! You're ruining our relationship!"     "Kiko, are you okay? Does it hurt?" he asked Kiko while examining her face.     "I'm okay. Now, talk with her. I'll leave. Bye Jiyong."      I thought Jiyong will stay on my side and settle our problem, but much to my dismay, he followed Kiko. I felt so hurt and angry because Jiyong acts like Kiko is her girlfriend and not me. I followed them. I just hoped there were no paparazzi, sasaengs, or fans. We reached the parking lot area. Jiyong dissuaded that one and only not to leave, but too late, she drove too fast.        I tried hugging my body with my two arms as the wind sent shivers on me. It was January. I was watching them. I could tell he really loves Kiko. I didn't know what kind of love was that--it was so confusing. He loves me too, I know. It's not that I didn't have trust on him or in our relationship. I'm just afraid of him leaving me. I was traumatized by my past relationships.     Jiyong looked at me. At first, he looked so angry. He was all red. But when he noticed my position, his eyes suddenly looked warmed and concerned. He removed his coat and put it around my shoulders. He opened the car's door for me and let me entered. Such a sweet gentleman, mister Kwon but still, you're dead later!     We drove but we never talked. I felt guilty. But what can I do? He knew that I really hate it when he hangs out with that . I didn't have any single clue where he will drop me, either on his flat or SNSD's dorm. Wherever it was, I wanted him to man up and settle our problem and make me feel convinced that I'm the only one.     Thirty minutes later, I was half asleep and my back was facing him. I sensed that the car stopped already and maybe we're already here. I peeked at the window to see where we were-- we were in our place. Not too long ago, we purchased an apartment. Not too big, not too small either. Its purpose was to be the place for our secret dates since dating publicly in Korea when you're a celebrity was highly criticized. I noticed him moving closer to me, so I quickly closed my eyes and pretended that I'm still sleeping.      "Baby, Jiyong oppa is so sorry." he apologized. "Kiko... She's just a friend. You know that. Please, trust me. I love you, baby." he kissed my temple down to my cheek.     I wanted to hug and kiss him at that moment but I'm still in doubt. I once eavesdropped on a conversation in the phone of Kiko and someone I don't know. Kiko said she loves Jiyong although he doesn't love her. She said that she will do anything to make Jiyong fall in love with her! How evil!     The next moment, my eyes were still closed but I felt tears rolling down on my cheeks. Just by thinking of losing Jiyong, I can't take it. I love him so so so much that I can't even live without him. I opened my eyes and finally faced him.     "Taeng, don't cry anymore, please." he pleaded as he held my hand tightly.     "Kiko-ssi said s-she loves you and that she'll do anything and everything just to make you fall in l-love with her." my voice cracked. I was crying hard that I stuttered. "I don't want to lose you, Jiyong. I'm really really sorry if I acted like that, always. It's just that, I love you so much that it's about me being desperate. I don't like Kiko. I'm sorry." he sighed and pulled me closer then hugged me.      At last! He did not become angry. I leaned my head on his chest and cried hard there. All I wanted was assurance and certainty at this moment. I wanted him to assure me that I'm the only one, that he will not leave me for other woman, and that it's me forever. Like what other boyfriends promised to their girlfriends.     But he did not! He never said anything. I'm so disappointed. There's no assurance so I did not feel certainty.      I broke out the hug and fixed my stuffs. Instead of complaining again, I chose to let it go. I don't know anymore, Jiyong but my heart is beyond hurt. I might give up now and just let you go even if it's hard to do so. I'm tired.     "I'm already sleepy. Goodnight." I spoke calmly and went out the car before he said anything.      No goodbye kiss or goodnight kiss.     Just a simple goodnight to end this long day.     One month passed, I busied my self. Thankfully, SNSD's going to have a comeback. We recorded and had finished shooting the MV. During those weeks, He never stopped calling or texting-- I ignored him. He went to my apartment but I did not show up. Little did I know, all of those things might be the major cause to ruin our relationship.     Cheongdam-dong March 2013     January and February passed quickly. We spent those two months for album promotions. This month, we have our vacation. I miss my Jiyong. We barely saw each other because I ignored him. It's killing me everyday but I didn't know what to do.  After contemplating on what to do, I finally made up my mind. I lowered my pride since the half of it was my fault too. I'll talk to him and fix our almost ruined relationship. Based on what I saw on Twitter, he just came back from Japan because of their tour. I stopped myself