The memory is not always the neatest record for events.

Smallest details may be forgotten; small details that leads to the bigger ones. The smallest yet most critical detail that leads to a significant life-changing event.

It was not something to ponder on. It was mundane and one is not to blame were they to forget something that the brain decides irrelevant. It is childish to fuss over something so little (furthermore if it happened years ago).

Wheein was thankful Yongsun did not demand to remember the trivial stuff. From the anniversary dates to the color of her shirt she was wearing when they first met; it really did not mean so much to both of them (at least that’s what Wheein thought).

It was a week after that morning—that dreadful morning—when Yongsun begged for her to stay.

Nothing changed since then. It was all the same. Wheein was not surprised. In fact, she knew it was inevitable. She made herself clear to the older already hence this idea of staying for two months—it’s completely irrelevant. A waste of time even. Nights spent on the couch, mornings spent before her laptop—everything was just how it was.

Was something supposed to change instantly?

Scenery almost identical to last week, the sun peeking happily through the windows with the curtains drawn, Wheein brought her cup of coffee to her lips, eyes tired from hours of staring at the screen. The coffee was bitter and it made her face scrunch up every time.

“You didn’t put enough sugar again,”

Yongsun’s voice chirped softly behind her and yet Wheein jumped on her computer chair, almost stumbling back if not for her fingers gripping the edge of the table. As she coughed, Wheein turned her head to look at the older woman who still had sleep drawn all over her face, her eyes puffy and hair disheveled. The oversized white shirt was cut just below her thighs and despite the fabric not hugging her frame, Wheein could see Yongsun’s curvy frame underneath.

Yongsun smiled as she reached for the mug that was beside the laptop, Wheein’s eyes fixed on the sleepy baby face before her, as Yongsun’s scent washed over her.

“I’ll make you coffee,”

The soft shuffling of Yongsun’s feet on the wood distracted her for a while before spinning to face her laptop, Yongsun’s reflection on the screen showing how she was still rubbing her eyes.

Wheein forgot how Yongsun looked in the mornings.

Such a bad memory she has.

She was staring at her laptop the whole time and one would think she was already working on something. But as minutes went by, the screen of her laptop going dark, Wheein kept staring.

She was watching sleepy Yongsun work on her coffee.

It was an amusing sight to see; she was so sleepy that her hand kept rubbing on her eye with the back of her palm. It was a habit of the older; you would know she is fully awake when she stops yawning and scratching her eyes.

Wheein watched Yongsun through the screen of her laptop; three half tablespoon of coffee and two half tablespoon of sugar and powdered cream. She stirred the drink, one hand raking through her black long locks. She’s not sleepy anymore and despite being in the living room the whole time, she could smell the hint of coffee.

She didn’t know what it was but it was different from when she made her own coffee.

Seeing Yongsun make her way back, Wheein was quick to tap on wherever on the keyboard of her laptop.

“,” She groaned under her breath when the screen of her laptop remained black, Yongsun’s figure gradually coming closer. Her fingers were panicking as she started clicking on the enter button, the tapping so fast anyone would know that she was distressed.

The clacking of the glass on the desk shocked Wheein again, jumping on her spot only to be greeted with a toothy smile. “You know, you’ve been jumping so much recently, Wheein-ah.”

Wheein let out an awkward chuckle, eyes still on the screen of her laptop that finally lit up.

“You should try tea next time. It’s disgusting—not the same as coffee—but it’ll help your body,”

And with that, Yongsun’s slim frame disappeared into their bedroom. She’s probably getting changed.

Within seconds, the living room smelled nothing but coffee. It was soothing, at least to Wheein being an avid coffee drinker. Wheein took a sip of the drink, blowing a few seconds to let it cool down.

Wheein forgot just how she loved it when Yongsun made her coffee.

It was bitter yet sweet—it was just the right blend of the two flavors. The cream left a tinge of vanilla in and before she knew it, Wheein was already sipping it half finished.

As she typed away on her laptop (this article does not seem as bad anymore), there was a smile on Wheein’s face. A smile that seemed to be have buried in her memories but with this cup of coffee, it was reviving again.

Wheein forgot how much she loved Yongsun’s mix of coffee.

***

The memory can never be reliable when trying to recall for events that had happened.

It was in the middle of the day then, her laptop finally neatly folded on the desk. With her feet on the couch, the remote in her grasp, she scrolled through the channels that showed nothing but groaning undead and dragons breathing out fire to a small village.

Nothing was interesting to watch and it was slowly starting to annoy Wheein. Since when did TV shows become this boring? Gore and myths—none of them are worthy of attention.

With the television off, Wheein’s constant clicking of her tongue the only sound in the living room, she moved to lie on the couch, an arm over her eyes.

She did not know where Yongsun was. After making coffee for her and stepping back into their room, Wheein did not see her shadow anymore.

Subtly, as discreet as possible, Wheein propped herself on her elbows to peek in their room. However, she saw nothing.

There was no sound either.

Have they always been like this? Acting as if they did not exist under the same roof?

Wheein did not know when it started nor how it had come to this; probably another small detail her brain decided to forget.

She was starting to doze off when she heard faint sounds of notes. They were soft, the melody calm and slow.

Wheein forgot Yongsun plays the piano.

Before she knew it, Wheein was already making her way into their bedroom. The sheets were undone, one pillow on the ground, and the curtains were open to let the harsh sunlight seep in. It was almost blinding. In the bedroom was another door.

This room was darker for it had no windows.

It was their music room.

Wheein was halfway across their bedroom when she heard the song Yongsun was playing.

“Please don’t stand so close to me,
I’m having trouble breathing,
I’m afraid of what you’ll see right now,
I give you everything I am,
All my broken heart beats,
Until I know you’ll understand,”

It tugged at her heartstrings—the song. It was calm and yet Wheein knew there was a storm; there was storm in Yongsun that she did not want to share with Wheein. There was a typhoon that was washing over her and even though Wheein had an umbrella with her, Yongsun would refuse to stand under with her.

Wheein had forgotten how Yongsun never liked burdening her.

Knees growing rather weak, Wheein stayed rooted in the middle of the mess of a bedroom. The dark room had no light on, the light coming from the sun only reaching up to Yongsun’s back.

It was dark there and Wheein knew Yongsun liked how dark it was.

“And I will make sure to keep my distance,
Say, “I love you” when you’re not listening,
And how long can we keep this up?”

Yongsun was not singing yet Wheein could hear the voice in her head. She could hear how the voice was shaky, how she sounded like she would choke at any second. Pain dipped every tone of her voice; her fingers were probably shaking just as hard.

Wheein forgot that she is not the only one who was suffering in this relationship.

Swallowing, Wheein raised her head again. Yongsun kept playing and despite the tone calm, she could sense the older was close to breaking down again any time soon. Which probably explains the puffy eyes earlier this morning.

Her steps were hesitant and slow. It was evident she would rather be somewhere else but in that dreadful room but there she was, making her way closer to Yongsun who was oblivious of how Wheein could hear every single note her heart shouted for.

Soon, Wheein’s figure was engulfed by the darkness. Holding her breath in, she stood rather closely behind Yongsun who was still playing the piano.

Should she hug Yongsun?

Or maybe she should just call her out?

Why wouldn’t you hug her? She’s your girlfriend.

Why would you hug her? She’s your ex-girlfriend

Just a tap would do, yes.

She was about to reach out for Yongsun when the latter turned around.

Oh god.

Both their eyes were wide as they stared at each other, Wheein’s rapid blinking showing utter confusion. Within seconds, Yongsun’s cheeks grew red and with how quick their eyes met, it also strayed away.

“I—I was getting hungry so I thought of asking you w—what you want to eat,”

This is ridiculous. Why is she stuttering as if she’s asking Yongsun out for a date?

This is absurd.

“Oh,” Yongsun said with a soft tone, the pink cheeks evident despite the lack of light in the room.

As Wheein rubbed her neck with her palm, eyes weakly moving to the side and feet stepping back, she let out an awkward chuckle that clearly did not help with their situation. In fact, it only made things a lot more awkward than they were.

She felt like a teenager with how her heart beat rapidly at the thought of embarrassing herself.

It has been a while since Wheein actually asked Yongsun what she wanted to eat and it was when Yongsun chuckled that Wheein remembered it.

Wheein is becoming forgetful.

“We can order something,”

Wheein was making her way out of the dark room when she heard Yongsun speak, her voice not so far from her. Wheein figured she was trailing closely behind.

“I can cook something too. It’s your choice,”

“But I’m asking you,”

Yongsun paused as Wheein turned around to face the older.

“I’ll cook something for us,”

“Okay,”

What was the point of arguing? Besides, there was nothing to argue about anyway hence Wheein did not think of putting up a fight. She was on her way out when she heard Yongsun speak again, her brows arching.

“Our fridge is empty though so we have to do some grocery shopping,”

***

The trip to the mart was quiet, the modern pop songs from the radio the only thing occupying the space they were in. Wheein’s thoughts, however, heard everything but the electro music. She heard how Yongsun was sighing now and then. She could hear Yongsun brushing her fingers through her hair. She could hear how Yongsun would turn her head to look at her as subtle as possible.

Wheein did not know why but they sounded better than the catchy songs the radio was playing.

In the mart, Wheein was quick to jog her way to the queue of shopping carts.

These shopping carts had always been troublesome, really. They all looked fine but after walking through a number of isles, they would start malfunctioning.

She was choosing thoroughly then, as if choosing something she would bring for the rest of her life, when she heard Yongsun speak behind her.

“They changed the carts two months ago so I’m pretty sure everything is fine now,”

Wheein forgot how long it has been since she last went grocery shopping with Yongsun.

Blinking at the older, she nodded a bit before finally pulling one cart out.

“Let’s go to the meat section?”

Wheein nodded as she maneuvered behind Yongsun. It had always been like this whenever they did grocery shopping. Wheein following closely behind Yongsun who was then in charge of the things they buy. Yongsun even had a list every now and then, a pen idle in her back pocket to cross out the things they already have.

“Okay, so we already have coffee…” Yongsun was babbling in the distance as Wheein grabbed this box of cereal that had amusing characters on its cover. The whole package was red, the animated characters smiling as they present a bowl of cereal. There were a variety of colors but what caught Wheein’s attention was the huge lettering at the top. ‘Free toy inside!’

“Yah! Wheein-ah! I was talking to you the whole time and yet you’re not listening!”

Wheein was quick to shush Yongsun with her finger.

“Jesus. You’re old for cereals, Wheein. Put it back,”

“What? What are you talking about? No one is too old for cereal,” Wheein threw the package onto the cart but Yongsun’s hands were quick to fish it out again.

“Wheein, no one is too old for cereals, yes, but you’re old enough to know that the toys that come with these aren’t the best,”

Oops.

Wheein pouted then, feigning those puppy eyes again.

“Unnie, I really want to try this cereal—“

“You want to try the cereal or you want to have another toy to throw around,”

“You make me sound like a child,”

“Aren’t you one?”

“Adults can buy toys too,”

“From a cereal box?”

Wheein was clicking her tongue then, stepping away from the cart to snatch the cereal box from Yongsun’s grasp. “Look unnie, you shouldn’t even be making a big fuss about it! It’s just cereal—it won’t even cost us much!”

“But a box of cereal—“

Wheein was frustrated, annoyed even, and before Yongsun could even finish her sentence, Wheein already had managed to tear the box open.

“Oh my god—“

With a brow merely arching, Wheein stared at her shocked girlfriend. “Oh my god, Wheein! What are you doing?” Yongsun whispered as if they had just committed a crime that would sentence them a lifetime in jail.

“If you don’t want me to get the cereal then I’m just gonna grab the toy,”

“We have to pay for it now!”

“Who says we’re paying for it?”

The frustrated Wheein earlier seemed to have disappeared then. Instead, Yongsun was faced with a snickering Wheein, the naughty hands digging into the package to tear the plastic apart as well. Yongsun was nervous—who would not be anyway?

Wheein was so close to fishing the toy out when another customer passed by them and before she knew it, Yongsun was hugging Wheein close, the package between their bodies.

“Kids,” Wheein heard the person mutter as they made their way to the other end of the isle, pulling out those cereals that tended to the older generation.

“Unnie! Now the package is ruined! How are we going to return this then!”

“You’re asking me that now? This is all my fault now when you’re the one who opened it!”

Shielding the package from anyone’s sight, Yongsun kept her frame close to Wheein’s as the younger finally pulled out the toy.

It was just an animated figure holding a bowl of cereal.

“You broke the box just for that,”

“I was about to buy it. Now I won’t. You should be grateful,”

“Amazing,”

Yongsun said sarcastically as she grabbed the package away from Wheein’s hands to settle it at the very back of the row. Hiding it, she made sure that the only person that would see it were the personnel.

The toy, on the other hand, was safe in Yongsun’s purse.

“I swear to god, I feel like I’m handling a child instead of my girlfriend,”

Wheein’s fingers tugged on Yongsun’s sleeve then, lips landing a smack on Yongsun’s cheek.

“I love you,”

Yongsun smiled before answering back, “I love you too.”

“Do we still have milk?” Wheein asked as they walked past the dairy isle, Yongsun walking after the cart. Turning back, Yongsun let out a hum before shaking her head.

“The one we have reached its expiration date I think,”

Without talking, Wheein turned her cart to bring it to the milk section then, looking for that certain brand they had been buying the day they decided to live together.

Beaming after seeing it, she reached for it and was about to present it to Yongsun only to find out she did not have to do so.

Yongsun was too close, the tips of their noses almost booping if not for Wheein leaning slightly backwards due to shock.

“I f—found the… milk,”

Wheein said as she gripped on the package with both sets of fingers, her eyes trailing over Yongsun’s facial features that is somehow stealing her breath away again.

Just like before.

“You do know that brand makes me feel nauseous,”

“It’s only because you drank so much of it,” Wheein retorted with a shy voice, pertaining about that one incident when Yongsun had too much merely because her cereal had few milk. Without waiting for Yongsun’s approval, Wheein went ahead and settled it into their cart.

“It’s because you kept drinking from my bowl of cereal,”

Oh right, Wheein forgot about that too.

“Well… their milk tastes nice,”

Yongsun merely hummed before walking again, this time Wheein following and not asking for anything else. However, whenever Yongsun turned her head, Wheein could see Yongsun’s cheeks tugging upward.

She was smiling.

Wheein forgot how fun it was to go grocery shopping with Yongsun.