Seungri was tranquil. The glittery night sky above was there for him. The indigo sky with pink and yellow tinges covered up with the billions of shining stars that illuminated his skin. He listened as the water beneath him sing a silent lullaby. Ripples around formed, glowing fishes joyfully jumping. Some were blue, some were green, some were transparent with its glimmering heart beating as they danced. Seungri stayed still lying on his back. He couldn't move. He doesn't want to move. The luminous, neon water with its calm current lead his boat gracefully to an island of purple sand. He's happy. He's never been this happy.

As the soft, spongy mass of purple touches his bare feet, Seungri feels lighter. Each step he makes, his skin shallowly sinking in the cotton-like sand, the flowers around blooms beautifully. He couldn't hold back the persistent smile on his lips. The deeper he goes into the island, the more he could see the paradise he has been yearning for. Everything was disarmingly gorgeous. The lovely trees that swayed along with the serene wind, the colorful birds that playfully sang in the air, the pond with thousand of fireflies floating around, Seungri felt radiant. 

The center of the island nears. Tears on his eyes almost falls out. Seungri was finally there. The paradise he has been yearning for. 

Through the tall grass, he sees a silhouette. A silhouette of man sitting on the sand. His back bent as his chin leaned on on his knee as if he had been long waiting for someone. Seungri's breath shakes. He then starts to run. Finally. Finally, he could be with him. But before he could even see the man's face, everything then gradually fades to white. The enchanting place disappears right before his eyes, and now the tears cascades uncontrollably. 

"Youngbae," he utters with his cheeks dripping.

*****

The blinding white stings his eyes. White walls, white ceiling, white windows and the white sheets that covered him up. An IV line's in his arm, and now he could feel his head suddenly ache. 

"You're awake."

Seungri flinches from Jiyong beside his bed. The red in his eyes was apparent. Bags underneath as if he had not been sleeping for days. A twinge then bites into Seungri's chest. 

"What were you thinking?" Jiyong's voice quivers. "What did you do?"

A thick deterrent in Seungri's throat as he tried to utter a word. "H-hyung," he trembles as he muffles in every ounce of sorrow. 

"How could you do it?" Jiyong's tears rolls off of his jaw. "It almost killed you."

The hefty feeling on Seungri disables him to do anything. He squeezes tightly on the man's hand as his heart breaks from the hitches in Jiyong's breathing.

"I know you miss him. We all do. But please.. don't resort to this," Jiyong holds him into his arms. Seungri could feel his warmth on him calming him down somehow. "Youngbae's gone now. And I don't want to lose another important person to me. Please, Ri, stop this."

"I'm sorry," Seungri whispers as he holds on to him tighter.

"I'm sorry."

*****

It's unbearable. The pain was unbearable. Seungri just wants to see him. 

His hand trembled as the needle enters his veins. It's the only answer he could think of. The fluid swims inside him, and now his vision starts to move.

He just wants to see him.

------

Youngbae's there. Finally. The lovely Youngbae whose smile glistened. Seungri was happy. Finally. 

Youngbae reached out his hand for him, and Seungri takes it with the widest smile.