- I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry. - Amber kept saying to me between every kiss. I could feel tears all over her cheeks and now over my face too. I'm scared. I hold her face between my hands and look at her, she has her eyes closed and a painful expression. Watching this makes me feel like every inch of my heart is breaking apart. I have no idea of what happened but I start crying too.

- Amber, amber! - I lift her head until she looks back at me. - Amber, what happened?

Today she had an interview for a TV program. The channel team had already came to our apartment to shoot inside here and show how is her daily life. But this life that it's shown, of course, does not include me. I was reported as an american friend who is making an exchange and is living with Amber as a hostage, what is not a complete lie, except the part that I'm more than her friend. Despite the discomfort we have with hiding our relationship, we already know how to deal with everything and usually expect some displeasing questions with displeasing answers. But today, Amber came back and didn't even say hello, she just ran to the sofa where I was sitting and kissed me while apologizing in tears. I'm trying to guess by her eyes if the problem was in the interview or somewhere else.

- I'm tired of lying, Rylee! - She confesses. My body instantly reliefs from the tension I had of not knowing what was the problem, but immediately gets tense again because of the pain that her words cause in me. Amber lies her face on my chest and burst into tears again. I slowly pass my hands through her blonde and short hair, that's all I feel I can do since I cannot fix what happened. 

- There was four middle aged men around me telling all the time how I act like a man, dress like a man and how weird they think that is. I felt so powerless, I hate that feeling!

- I know, I hate this too. - I say, because powerless is exactly how I feel now. I can't protect my Eunyoung from all the prejudice. That also makes me feel some sort of guilt. 

- I told them I have a boyfriend... I'm sorry. I don't really know why this lie hurt me so much even after all the others... Maybe it's because I never used, like, the official words clearly. - She admits in sobs - I guess I'll never be able to show who I really am and I can't stand this no more.

- Amber-ah - Is all I can say hearing those words full of suffering. My arms hold her tighter and I try to accommodate her in my arms like a child. I'll protect you. I'll protect you.

This situation hit us hard. But I don't want to see my girlfriend suffering with the pressure again, I'm also tired of this. I refuse to spend this night crying because of bad things that bad people say. Amber has always found ways to cheer me up when I felt bad. I'm not as good as her at this, however, I can show a way out of this sadness with my words. So I tell her:

- Yeah, you're right. Maybe we should end our relationship. - She suddenly pushes herself away from me to see if I'm serious.

- What are you talking about?

- Do you want to break up with me? - I ask back. She looks down and moves her hands around my waist like I'm a precious object that needs to be checked if it's in perfect conditions.

- Why are you asking me that? Of course I don't!

- Really? Why?

Her eyes go back to stare at me in confusion. I feel her hands go from my waist to my arms, and then my shoulders, neck and face.

- Because I love you Rylee. 

These words warm my body and fill my heart with emotion. We start smiling slowly like we create the habit to do during our time together. Eyes bright and two shy smiles growing in sync. 

- I love you Eunyoung...- I kiss her forehead 

- I love you Amber-ah - I place another kiss on her left cheek 

- I love you my Llama - She laughs and we kiss each other's lips. A long and slow kiss that makes our bodies warm together and arouses our desire. Her lips are like a lighter setting fire to my skin, putting me up in flames with every touch. Amber is completely aware of her power and that's why she moves from mine to my cheeks, to my chin and my neck, as I move her with my arms.  We're laying down on the sofa, her back against the couch, my chest against hers, pushing our bodies against each other like we were trying to eliminate every inch of distance between us. Together we feel complete, we find our homes and love. We don't need anything else. No one else can give me that.

I hold her neck gently making her stop and look into my eyes. We breath heavily with crave in our eyes. 

- I know how hard it can be Eunyoung. But I'm not giving up on you... And I hope you don't give up on me. It doesn't matter how much the world can hurt us, I want us to be always together to heal each other. We're the only ones who can do this.

She's smiling but her eyes blink repeatedly expelling the tears. I wipe them without taking my eyes off hers. She needs to know I mean everything I'm saying.

- I'll always need you. - She answers. - No one can make me feel better than I feel when I have you near me.

I keep her words inside my heart and taste the feeling of loving and being loved back. I don't care about what we'll have to go through as long as we have this. 

We silently make a love promise to each other and seal it with a kiss, and another kiss, and other kisses.