Taemin stared at the white stick in his hand, a knot forming in his throat and an anguished feeling growing in the pit of his stomach.

 

It took him a few minutes to process the information the plastic piece was giving him, and when it finally sank in, a trembling breath escaped his lips as he leaned back against the door of the bathroom, feeling like his legs would give out on him.

 

Great. Just great.

 

The two small lines seemed to be mocking him, laughing at his face and he wanted nothing but to throw the plastic stick out and pretend he had never taken that test. Yet, he knew such thing would be impossible. Even if he did throw it away, pretended he didn't know about his condition, its physical manifestations would soon add up to the already very present first symptoms and he would have no way out.

 

He felt a lump form in his throat at the memories of a conversation he'd had with his husband a while back; in which Minho had been adamant about not wanting any kids. Taemin – although having never really thought about it – found himself upset over the fact his husband seemed not to want to even consider the possibility. It had also led to a fight that had ended with both of them dropping the topic altogether.

 

How was he supposed to tell Minho he was pregnant now?

 

A knock on the door suddenly pulled him out of his reverie and he jolted slightly, feeling his breath pick up.

 

“Taemin, are you done yet? I need to take a shower, I'm late for work.”

 

Clearing his throat, Taemin quickly stuffed the pregnancy test in the front pocket of his sweater and unlocked the door, pulling it open to reveal a disheveled Minho standing there with an annoyed look in his eyes that quickly seemed to morph into concern as they fell on the younger's features.

 

“Are you alright? Are you feeling sick again?” he asked with a small frown.

 

Taemin just shook his head, unable to make eye-contact with the taller male.

 

“I'm fine. Sorry... go in... I'll- I'll make breakfast.”

 

With that said, he stepped out of the bathroom and walked away the faster he could, trying to put as much distance as he could with the dark haired male, still unable to come with terms with the news he had just confirmed.

As he reached the kitchen, he let out a deep sigh as he rested his palms on the counter and hang his head low, feeling a sudden urge to burst into tears and hide in a hole – the later would be better.

 

 

“I can't believe my mom always manages to bring everything down to us having kids.” Minho complained as they laid in bed one night, after dinner with Minho's family.

 

“She wants grand-kids, you can't blame her.” Taemin chuckled, resting his head on his husband's chest.

 

A snort was all he got for an answer as the older male started running his fingertips up and down his upper-arm.

 

“I don't get why it makes you so upset every time.” Taemin confessed then. “It's not like she's asking for the moon. Besides, it might happen someday.”

 

“Like hell it will.” Minho retorted.

 

Taemin frowned, raising his head to prob his chin on his husband's chest, so he could look at the elder's face.

 

“What's that supposed to mean?”

 

Minho sighed.

 

“I don't want kids Tae.” the elder replied. “I thought you'd have figured it out by now...”

 

The raven-head huffed, pushing himself into a sitting position, Minho soon mirroring his actions as he leaned back against the headboard of the bed, a raised eyebrow showing his surprise.

 

“What if I do?” the younger questioned.

 

Minho laughed at that.

 

He laughed. Taemin stared at the elder, feeling almost offended by the expression of mirth – or was it mockery? –.

 

“You can't be serious.” Minho said, as he finally took notice of his husband's unamused expression. “Kids are trouble. Once you have them, you can forget your freedom. Is that what you want?”

 

To be honest, Taemin had never really thought about the possibility of having kids before, so he had no defined opinion on the matter, but hearing Minho be so adamant about not wanting any had stung in a way he couldn't really explain.

 

At his silence, his husband reached out to wrap his arms around his waist and bring him closer to his chest, seizing his chin with two fingers before putting a light kiss on his lips.

 

“We're still young, okay? Let's worry about descendants when we're like... forty or something...”

 

Taemin wanted to argue it wasn't just about having descendants, but he had no other arguments to back up the idea and really... he had yet to even properly consider the possibility of having kids, he couldn't quite counter Minho for now.

 

So he just sighed in resignation and let Minho lay them both back on the bed, cuddling him close.

 

 

 

And just like that, the topic of that night was never brought up again. Every time someone even evoked them having kids, they just simply smiled and expertly avoided the subject and Taemin felt he had let Minho win the argument without even putting much of a fight.

 

Despite everything, neither of them had been very careful on using contraceptive methods. He had to admit that was something that had always been, without a doubt, the last of their worries during their passionate moments. In fact, now that he thought about it, it was surprising he hadn't gotten pregnant sooner.

 

A groan left his lips at the thought.

 

Shaking his head to brush the thoughts away, he walked to the fridge, deciding he would think about that matter later.

 

The problem was, “later” didn't give him a deadline to respect and before he knew it a month had gone by and he hadn't told anyone about his pregnancy. He was too scared of Minho's reaction which dissuaded him every time the thought of telling the elder crossed his mind.

 

“If you want a ride, we need to leave now.” Minho said as he appeared at the door to the kitchen, struggling with his tie.

 

Snapping out of his thoughts, Taemin closed the dish-washer and turned it on before taking his bag that was sitting on the counter and walking to the older male.

 

“Let me.” he slapped Minho's hands from the tie and started fixing it. “You never wear these things, why today?”

 

Minho sighed. “Meeting with the Chinese sponsors, father said I needed to look professional.”

 

Taemin chuckled as he finished arranging the tie.

 

“And a tie is your symbol of professionalism?”

 

Minho just gave him an annoyed look before thanking him for the help.

 

“Let's go, I don't want to be late.” he said, ignoring the younger's question.

 

Taemin just followed him out of the door with an amused expression on his face. As they got inside the car, a comfortable silence quickly installed itself between them.

 

Seven years earlier, if anyone had told him he'd ever find himself married to Choi Minho, he would have laughed right at their face.

Growing up together, with families as close as theirs were, had done nothing to favor their relationship. As kids and teens, the two of them had always bickered over the most trivial things, hang out with different people and when they could, just ignored the other's existence.

Only as they reached their twenties and enough maturity to understand that, in reality their constant fighting was nothing but consequence of a deep – blame such realization on a drunken party ending with them waking up in each other's arms –, things between them had considerably changed.

 

Before they knew it, they were madly in love and were dating. When, after three years of relationship – with it's peaks and valleys, let's be honest – Minho had gone down on one knee and proposed to him, Taemin hadn't hesitated to say yes.

 

Four years later, Taemin couldn't even phantom himself away from Minho. He loved the older male with all his heart and to think that, because he was now carrying the elder's child, there was a chance, as slim as it could be, that his husband would be mad at him, maybe even worse... scared him to death.

 

As the thought crossed his mind, a small frown appeared on his face and he subconsciously brought a hand to rest on the flat surface of his stomach.

It was incredible just how much attached he already felt to the little life growing inside of him, the only visit he had payed to the doctor having done nothing but enhance such feeling when he had been given the chance to hear his baby's heartbeat. He just wished he was able to share such joy with Minho...

As much as he couldn't picture himself without his husband, the same now applied to his baby and something told him, that whatever Minho's reaction came to be when he learned of the pregnancy, he would never be able to give up on his child.

 

Minho stopped the car on the sidewalk in front of the applied arts high-school where Taemin worked as a ballet instructor.

 

“When do you get off?” he asked as Taemin unbuckled his seat-belt.

 

“You don't need to pick me up, my car should be ready this afternoon, I'll pick it up at the garage.” the younger said for a reply. “Thanks for the ride.”

 

“Are you sure you don't want me to come and get you?”

 

The raven head just nodded with a small smile, leaning towards the elder and pecking him on the lips before getting out of the vehicle and waving the elder goodbye as he drove off.

 

He walked inside the high-school and made his way to his classroom, quickly undressing of his track pants to stay only on his black leggings and white loose shirt, before wearing his ballet slippers in the place of his sneakers.

He knew dancing wasn't exactly the best thing to do in his condition, the doctor having already warned him about the dangers, but he couldn't just stop working; specially not when no one around him knew about his condition. So he had been trying not to push himself too much, counting on the fact he was only there to teach his students and not actually perform. So far it was working fairly well.

 

That went without counting on the little accidents of life.

 

It happened after his last class of the day. Students were always in such a hurry to leave, he should've predicted descending the stairs with a mob of rushing teens wasn't a good idea.

One moment, he was half-way down the stairs, the other, a group of boys rushed passed him, bumping on him violently in their haste and making him miss a step.

That's when everything went like a blur, he lost balance and his body went down to meet the hard concrete surface of the stairs in a painful descent.

 

All he could think of at that moment, was protect his middle, wrapping his arms around his belly as every other unprotected part of his body hit the floor. When finally his fall met an end, everything hurt. His head and back mostly.

 

“Teacher!” a girl yelled as she squatted by his side. “Are you alright?”

 

He grunted, afraid to move. Was his baby okay? Had the fall hurt it?

 

“Mr. Lee? Do you think you can get up?” he heard a male voice ask.

 

He looked up, barely recognizing Mr. Kang, a drama teacher, through his hazy vision.

 

“I think so...” he managed to say.

 

“Here, let me help you.”

 

The man squatted by his side, reaching out to help him sit up and then, slowly to his feet. Taemin felt slightly dizzy then, unknowingly leaning into the other man as he swayed slightly, arms still tightly wrapped around his middle.

 

“You're head's bleeding.” the man said. “Let me take you to the infirmary.”

 

The raven head frowned slightly, reaching up a hand to touch his forehead where indeed, he felt something dripping down his temple. When he retrieved his hand, it was only to confirm the blood smeared on his fingertips.

 

“Teacher... we're so sorry...” a boy said as he and a shorter one walked up in front of him, bowing deeply a few times. “We didn't mean for that to happen. Please forgive us.”

 

He wanted to yell at the two for being so careless, but found himself too tired to even scold them.

 

“Just don't go running around anymore.” he said simply.

 

Mr. Kang was the one to scold the boys then, before asking the girl from earlier to pass him Taemin's bag and proceeding to walking the younger to the infirmary. As they passed the threshold to the nurse's office, the woman rose her head from the magazine she was reading, her eyes widening at the sight of the two teachers.

 

She quickly marched over to them, asking what had happened and directing Taemin to sit on a bed. As he did, he explained to her about the fall and then looked at Mr. Kang, serving the man a small smile.

 

"Thank you for you help." He said.

 

The man just shook his head to dismiss the words.

 

"Do you want me to stay?" The man asked.

 

"No, I'll be fine. Thank you."

 

Mr. Kang nodded once before seeing himself out of the room.

 

"Let me see this." The nurse then said, setting a small first-aid kit by his right on the bed.

 

As she started cleansing the wound on his forehead, Taemin kept his hand on his stomach, his heart constricted as he tried putting to words the question burning at lips.

 

"Do... do you think the..." he cleared his throat. "Do you think the fall could have hurt my baby?"

 

The woman stopped her ministrations on his temple to look at him in surprise.

 

"You're pregnant?" She asked.

 

He nodded slowly, liking his dry lips.

 

She stared at him for a moment, before her gaze softened.

 

"Well, congratulations are in order then." The nurse said with a small smile.

 

"Thank you..."

 

He couldn't believe the very first person – aside from his doctor – to whom he told about his pregnancy was the school's nurse.

 

"But... the fall..."

 

She smiled reassuringly at him, before going back to treating the wound on his forehead.

 

"It depends on how you fell. Did you hit you abdomen? How far along are you?"

 

"No, I put my arms to shield it... I'm ten weeks along."

 

"Do you feel any pain on you stomach?”

 

“No...”

 

“Well then, it should be fine." The nurse said. "You know, your baby's pretty well cushioned in there."

 

Taemin let his lips stretch slightly in a small smile. Still, he couldn't shake off the worry.

 

"You can still get a check up to make sure though. Besides" the nurse pressed a gauze to his forehead, before sticking it with medical tape, making him wince slightly. "you'll need to go the hospital anyway, because this is going to need stitches. You can ask for a doctor to check your baby's condition then."

 

Taemin nodded dumbly. He really hoped she was right, that his baby was fine. He didn't care about his forehead and in all honesty, the dull pain that irradiated the wound was the last of his worries.

 

"Do you have anyone we could call to pick you up? It's not recommended you drive in your current state. Or we can still call an ambulance."

 

"No, it's fine... I'll just call my husband..."

 

Taemin only realized what he was saying once the word “husband” rolled off his tongue. Instantly, a warning seemed to light up in his head. What if Minho ended up discovering his pregnancy by some misstep of his? How would the elder react? How would he explain he had been keeping this from the elder for a month?

 

Still, neither of these thoughts and questions managed to dissuade him from the idea of calling the elder. He knew that right now, he'd only feel reassurance with the older male by his side.

 

The nurse smiled.

 

"Alright then. I'll leave you to it, you should probably stay there, until he gets here.”

 

He nodded, reaching out for his bag, Mr. Kang had set on the bed by his side. As he took out his smart-phone and dialed Minho's number, bringing the device to his ear, he let his other hand trail back to his stomach, caressing the still flat surface soothingly.

 

A few rings passed and when he was starting to think Minho wouldn't pick up, the elder's deep voice rang through the speaker.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hi, Minho...” he said, not sure why he felt like crying suddenly.

 

And he cursed such need when Minho's tone shifted to a concerned one, probably having sensed something was wrong by his voice.

 

“Something happened? Are you alright?”

 

The raven-head gulped slightly, trying to get rid of the small lump in his throat.

 

“Are you still working?” he asked instead of answering the elder's questions.

 

“I'm leaving now, why? Do you want me to pick you up?”

 

“Please.”

 

“Okay...” there was a pause. “Tae, is something wrong?”

 

“No... I just... It's nothing serious.”

 

“Taemin.” the warning was clear.

 

“Really.” he insisted.

 

A sigh. “... alright. I'll be right there.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

And with that they hung up. As he set the phone aside, Taemin took in a deep breath, the ache in his head seeming to increase by the minute, as did the throbbing of his back and shoulders.

 

The nurse looked over from the papers she had been arranging on her desk.

 

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

 

“Sore.” he answered, with a slightly grimace.

 

The woman served him a tiny smile. “I can imagine. You were lucky you didn't break anything.”

 

“I guess so...”

 

Like that, they kept making small talk until about twenty minutes later when the raven-head's phone went off. Taemin reached for the device, sweeping a finger over the green symbol on the screen and bringing it to his ear.

 

“Min?”

 

“I'm here, where are you?” Minho asked right away.

 

Taemin bit the inside of his cheek. Right. He'd forgotten that point.

 

“I'm coming.” he said.

 

But as he tried getting up, he was hit by a dizzy spell and had to lean back against the bed, the nurse helping him sit back down.

 

“uh...”

 

“Taemin?”

 

“... can you come instead?”

 

There was a moment of silence before he heard what sounded like a car-door being closed.

 

“Where are you?”

 

“The infirmary.”

 

“What? What happened?”

 

“I fell. It's nothing... just...”

 

“I'm coming.”

 

And the call was cut. Taemin let out a small sigh and slipped his phone back inside his bag. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door and the nurse went to open it. On the threshold, Minho appeared, suit jacket and tie missing with the two top buttons of his dress-shirt popped open.

 

He bowed at the nurse before his gaze trailed over to Taemin, eyes widening at his sight.

 

“Tae...”

 

In a few strides, he was facing the shorter male, cupping his face into his hands and inspecting his temple where the wound laid under a bandage.

 

“I'm fine,” the raven-head assured the taller male, seizing the man's left wrist with his right hand. “it's not that big of deal.”

 

“How did this happen?”

 

“A few kids were running down the stairs, and well... I was on the way.”

 

Minho frowned.

 

“Damn brats.” he mumbled under his breath.

 

Taemin hit his chest with his free-hand.

 

“It was an accident.”

 

“Still...”

 

The nurse chuckled slightly at the exchange, effectively catching their attention. Her smile grew – Taemin wondered if her cheeks ever hurt from her smiling so much.

 

“He will still need a few stitches.” the woman said.

 

Minho's frown deepened as he looked back at Taemin.

 

“I thought it was 'nothing'.”

 

“I'm fine I told you. Can we go now?”

 

Minho sighed, frown softening as he stepped back and helped Taemin to his feet. The younger moved slowly, fearing another dizzy spell, as he held onto Minho's arm for support. The elder slipped an arm around his waist and seized his bag from the bed. They then proceeded to thank the nurse and walk off the office.

A few minutes later, Minho was helping Taemin into the car before getting on on the driver's side and proceeding to drive off the parking spot.

 

A few minutes of silence downed on them as Minho drove them to the hospital. When they stopped at a red light, the older male looked over at his husband, who – he couldn't help but notice – had his hand on his stomach, fingers slowly caressing the surface.

He wasn't sure why the younger had developed that strange habit over the past weeks, but he noticed the gesture seemed to comfort his husband somehow.

 

“Are you alright?” he asked, reaching out a hand that he set on the younger's tight, giving it a small squeeze.

 

Taemin turned his head to look at him, grimacing slightly as he did, the wound on his temple throbbing more now.

 

“Yeah, just a little sore.”

 

Minho looked ahead and noticed the light turned green, he started the car again, hand still set on his husband's tight.

 

“These damn kids really got you, huh?”

 

“Stop calling them like that.” the raven-head chastised, leaning his head against the headset of the seat, feeling tired.

 

Minho sighed but said nothing, reporting his hand back to the steering wheel.

 

A while later, when they had parked in the parking lot of the hospital, Minho helped Taemin off the car and inside the building, guiding the younger to the reception desk to check in. They were then directed to the waiting room before being led by a nurse to a ward a few minutes later.

 

“The doctor will be with you soon.” the nurse said.

 

The couple nodded and the woman left the room. Once more, silence installed itself between them, Taemin sitting on the recliner and Minho on a chair by his side, holding the younger's hand in his.

 

Taemin bit his lower-lip, knowing there was no more room for pushing back the inevitable. He planned on asking the doctor to check on his baby's condition and he knew just doing it without preparing Minho for the news would be too much for the elder, so with a deep breath – that his husband didn't miss, judging by the way his eyes trained on his features as he raised an inquisitive eyebrow –, Taemin squeezed Minho's hand in his.

 

“Minho... I have something to tell you, before the doctor comes.”

 

The man's expression didn't change much, expect for the fact his features now expressed curiosity.

 

“What is it?”

 

Taemin bit at his lower-lip, looking down at his lap.

 

“You know how I've been feeling sick lately...”

 

Minho's brows furrowed slightly.

 

“I thought you'd gotten better?”

 

The younger gulped slightly.

 

“Not really...”

 

As he said that, he didn't add anything after, hand subconsciously going to rest against his stomach.

 

“Love, what it is?” Minho asked, tone gentle as he leaned closer to the younger.

 

Taemin's eyes locked with his husband's dark orbs. He felt a lump forming in his throat.

 

“I... I'm... I'm pregnant.”

 

There were two full minutes of deafening silence after his words, during which Minho just stared back at him, as if the information was struggling to sink in.

 

But Minho didn't have time to react in any way as the doctor pushed the door open and greeted them. Taemin looked over at the man and tried smiling back, although the way Minho's hand slipped off his as the elder straightened up to greeted the doctor back, sent a wave of sadness through him.

 

The doctor then went on to ask him questions as he examined the wound on Taemin's head before starting to work on it, all the while trying to reassure him about the risks the fall had on his pregnancy.

As he was done and was putting away his tools, the raven head touched the newly made dressing on his wound with fingertips.

 

“Doctor... is there anyway you could check on my baby?” he asked, trying to ignore as Minho's whole figure seemed to tense at his words.

 

“Of course, if that can help put you at ease.” the middle-aged man replied with a gentle smile. “I'll have a nurse bring in an ultrasound scan.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

The man nodded and left the room.

 

When the man closed the door behind him, Minho rose from his chair, hands on his hips as he turned his back to Taemin.

 

“Minh–”

 

“How long have you known?”

 

The raven-head bite at his lower-lip.

 

“A month.” he answered.

 

Minho let out a huff then, turning back around with a glare in his eyes.

 

“The way you've been touching your stomach at randoms times lately... it's because of that?”

 

Taemin wasn't sure whether “that” referred to his pregnancy or directly to the baby he carried and either way, the words stung him.

 

“I know you're mad but–”

 

“When the hell where you planning on telling me? Hadn't this whole thing happened, would you have even done it now?”

 

Taemin didn't answer to that, because honestly, he didn't know.

 

“That's what I thought.” the older male said, with a dry tone.

 

“Minho...”

 

But the elder simply averted his gaze from him to the door, taking long strides over to it and leaving the room without so much as a word.

 

Taemin watched, tears pooling in his eyes but he quickly blinked them away, trying to keep his breathing in control.

 

A moment later, the doctor was back with a nurse in tow, pushing a little cart with an ultrasound scan on it.

 

The doctor seemed to notice Minho's absence from the room, but didn't comment on it and Taemin felt thankful for the discretion, not sure he would've been able to come up with a viable excuse to his husband's sudden absence.

 

Once the ultrasound scan was set, the raven-head followed the doctor's instruction to pull his shirt up and the man proceeded to pour some of the cold gel on his lower abdomen, before sliding the transducer over the flat surface smearing the substance over his stomach.

As a fuzzy black and white image appeared on the screen, the doctor proceeded to explain everything he saw to Taemin, reassuring him everything was going fine with the baby despite the fall.

 

And only then did the raven-head really believe the words he'd been told over and over since his fall.

 

He accepted the paper tissue the doctor passed to him when they were done, cleaning his stomach off the gel.

 

“Just watch out for bleeding or spotting.” the middle-aged man instructed. “Same goes for any unusual pain in your stomach. If you feel or perceive any of these, you come back here immediately. As for the wound on your head, you might feel dizzier than usual, just be careful not to exert yourself too much.”

 

Taemin nodded. “Okay, thank you doctor.”

 

The man smiled at him.

 

“Do you want me to tell a nurse to call your husband back in here or...?”

 

The raven-head shook his head.

 

“No, it's alright. I'll go to him.”

 

The man gave a single nod and Taemin carefully pushed himself off the recliner before biding the man goodbye and leaving the room.

 

As he made his way back to the entrance hall of the hospital, he couldn't shake off the worry eating at him. How would he face Minho? Would the elder even want to talk to him now?

 

Yet all his interrogations came to a halt when he caught sight of his husband sitting on a chair in the waiting room, head leaned back against the wall behind him, eyes closed.

 

Swallowing in dry, the raven-head walked towards the elder, stopping on his tracks just a few inches in front of the other.

 

“Minho?”

 

The man opened his eyes, but their gazes only met for a second before the elder avoided his eyes, pressing his lips in a tight line as he pushed himself up.

 

“I've already paid the consultation. We can go, if you're ready.” the taller male said.

 

“Okay...”

 

And like that, they were off to the car, and then driving back home. The heavy silence between them was driving Taemin crazy and he wanted nothing but to talk to his husband about the baby, know what he really thought but found the words blocked in his throat, discouraged by the distant attitude the elder was keeping.

 

Once they were home, Taemin decided he couldn't hold it in anymore, so as they passed the front door he grabbed Minho's arm, forcing the man to face him.

 

“Say something...” he demanded.

 

“What do you want me to say?” was the dry retort he got.

 

“I don't know... anything! Just... stop acting like that... it's making me crazy...”

 

Minho sighed.

 

“It's not like I have that much of a choice here, is it? Your position about this whole thing is already pretty clear. Just give me time to adjust to it okay?”

 

“You're acting like our baby is some kind of undesirable thing I'm forcing up on you.”

 

“Isn't it?”

 

Taemin felt his eyes pool with tears that he once again, blinked away.

 

“How can you say that?”

 

The taller male took in a deep breath before sighing once more as he ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Forget it.” he said then. “Just... give me time, okay? I'll get used to it.”

 

And with that said, the elder was off to his office, the door being slammed shut in his way in.