It was times like this when Baekhyun could feel himself beginning to teeter off the edge of this relationship, the sting in his heart starting to numb away any feelings he had towards his very much absent boyfriend.

He sat on the floor, legs outstretched in front of him as he waited. He glanced at his watch, ignoring the slight pang of sadness that echoed throughout his body; Minseok was forty-five minutes late.

Usually, Baekhyun would brush it off. He knew Minseok was busy with college, and he understood that he must have a lot of things to do. But this happens frequently, to the point where Baekhyun questions whether he should even wait, let alone come back.

The weekends are when Baekhyun and Minseok planned to spend their time together. With Minseok being further away from him, it was hard for Baekhyun to see Minseok often. He cherishes those weekends with his boyfriend, even if they end up just lazing around and watching random videos of who knows what. As long as he was with him, Baekhyun was happy.

It’s past one hour when Baekhyun gives up. His eyes flutter closed for a moment, taking in deep breaths as he calmed his nerves, willing himself to ignore the burn he felt when he blinked away any signs of sadness.

After a moment to himself, he hoisted himself up to a standing position, a yawn slipping from his lips. He reached down to grab his backpack before the strong smell of alcohol and the sound of footsteps caught his attention. Baekhyun inwardly rolled his eyes.

Again.

Baekhyun straightened himself, glancing over his shoulder as he found his boyfriend pressed against the wall adjacent from the staircase he somehow managed to stumble himself up. Minseok chuckled softly when he spotted him, a smile pulling on his lips as he waved towards the boy.

Heaving out a sigh, Baekhyun grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder.

“Are you drunk?” He questioned simply, shoving a hand in his pocket.

Minseok shook his head, straightening himself up before he slowly started to walk towards Baekhyun.

“Of course not.” The older hummed, his eyes barely opened as he stood in front of the boy. Minseok moved his hand to cup the younger’s cheek, the smile leaving his face as he looked at him.

Baekhyun was slightly startled from the quick transition, eyes widening a bit as he opened his mouth to speak up.

“I missed you.” Minseok cut in before he could say anything; nodding his head slowly, thumb caressing Baekhyun’s cheek. His eyes seemed as if they were scanning Baekhyun’s facial features, as though he hadn’t seen him in a long time. In reality, it’s only been a week.

Minseok cleared his throat, hands pulling away before Baekhyun could give a proper response. He quickly shuffled himself over to open the door to his apartment. Baekhyun sighed inwardly, a sense of relief washing over him. Despite that, he still couldn’t seem to shake away the small prick of pain he felt deep within his gut.

“Are you coming in, or were you planning on sleeping in the hall?” Minseok joked, a smile playing on his lips as he glanced over at him. Baekhyun resisted the urge to blurt out that he was basically close to just a moment before, but he let the bitter feelings go and he nodded his head.

“You wouldn’t let your boyfriend sleep in the hallway, anyway.” Baekhyun sniffed, grinning as he handed his backpack to the older. “You love me too much.”

Minseok rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s flair of confidence, but couldn’t resist the laugh that slipped out his lips. “Of course.”

--

“Won’t you get bored of me?” Baekhyun muttered, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“Bored of you?” Minseok reiterated the question, his back resting against the headboard of his bed as he glanced over at Baekhyun.

“Yeah, you and your college life.” Baekhyun hummed, head turning to look over at Minseok, a small pout forming on his lips. “Why bother dating a high school student when you’ll eventually meet someone fascinating and exciting?”

Baekhyun watched as Minseok pursed his lips, eyes shifting away from the younger. He knew from the beginning that it was hard for Minseok to express his feelings, no matter what it may be.

(He remembers one time when they were playing soccer (and promptly the last time they will ever play), and Minseok, with his competitive soccer player side kicking in, literally kicked the soccer play straight into Baekhyun’s face; he now knows why his boyfriend was the team’s captain with a kick like that. The immense concern that was drawn all over Minseok’s face was enough for Baekhyun to not hold this as a grudge, for now. And although Minseok rarely showed it, his actions spoke louder than words.)

“Hey, who said you could be thinking stuff like that?” Minseok spoke up, reaching over to pinch Baekhyun’s nose.

“Wha- Minseok!” Baekhyun whined, scrambling to sit up as Minseok pulled the younger’s nose.

“I don’t think anyone could bring as much excitement into my life like you have, idiot.” Minseok muttered, pulling his hand away to relieve Baekhyun of the pain. Letting out a small yelp, Baekhyun glared at the older as he covered his nose with his hand, the other poking Minseok’s cheek repeatedly.

“Is that your way of telling me you love me? Huh?” Baekhyun huffed, sniffling as he crossed his arms. “Because that was a really ty way of expressing it.”

Minseok let out a laugh at his words, shifting to sit up a bit as his hand moved to place against the back of Baekhyun’s neck, giving him a small squeeze.

“I love you, and I don’t think anyone I meet could replace what I feel for you in a lifetime.”

Minseok gave a quick glance at Baekhyun, the curve of his lips threatening to kick away his stubborn demeanor. In a flash, Baekhyun is smiling from ear to ear, eyes blinking up eagerly at the older.

“Isn’t that right, hm?” Baekhyun said thoughtfully, hand coming up to rub his chin as though he had a beard. “You really must be smitten by me, Kim Minseok.”

Minseok scoffed at the younger’s words, yet he can’t really argue against him—he was undoubtedly right. “Yah, don’t get too cocky, huh?”

Baekhyun grinned happily, leaning forward to press a soft kiss against the older’s lip. “Don’t worry, hyung. The feeling’s mutual.”

--

Two hours.

Baekhyun reckons he fell asleep after an hour of waiting outside Minseok’s apartment door. The drunken singing of TVXQ’s song Rising Sun was enough to have Baekhyun jolting awake. Leave it to Minseok for being a dedicated Cassiopeia.

Baekhyun rubbed his face with the palm of his hands, not wanting to face the reality as the singing just grew closer and closer. After figuring he’d just have to end up dealing with his drunken boyfriend, he pushed himself off the floor.

It’s only when Baekhyun has Minseok laid out on the couch, a damp towel pressed against the older’s cheek, that he starts to take into consideration their relationship as a whole.

Baekhyun completely understands the endless amounts of work Minseok is faced with; managing to get accepted in the field of pharmacy let alone seems to be a great feat to him. He could only imagine what Minseok goes through during his studies, having taken a quick peek at the older’s chemistry notes one day. It seemed as though it were a foreign language. It still baffles Baekhyun how Minseok could manage to balance work and his studies.

He can’t help but think about how much of a bother he must be for Minseok. Instead of spending the weekends with him, the older could be doing something useful—like studying.

And no matter how many time’s Minseok insists on their weekly sleepovers, Baekhyun starts to find himself hesitating at the

The soft muttering of Rising Sun’s chorus breaks Baekhyun out of his thoughts, glancing down at Minseok. He takes in a deep breath, and continues to gently pat the towel against the older’s forehead.

--

They met in high school. I guess you could say Baekhyun was one of those people that melted whenever Minseok walked past him. Honestly, it wasn’t surprising for someone to melt over Kim Minseok—this guy had girls falling at his feet left and right.

The day word got out that Minseok was gay had Baekhyun practically throwing himself at his feet—while you can still hear the faint sobs of the many girls who felt the disappointment that was slapped against their forehead.

They had hung around the same group of friends various times, at various occasions, but the two had never truly spent time together, alone. Yet they both eventually found themselves abandoned by their friends together, alone, at the karaoke place they were supposed to meet up.

With Baekhyun receiving various texts from his friends claiming they had to bail last minute, and Minseok having the same response, the awkward silence fell upon them.

The two were seated across from each other; the sounds of singing and laughter could be heard from behind the door, yet the tension within their room seemed to kill all that excitement.

Baekhyun cleared his throat, shifting to grab the remote, looking through the many arrays of songs they could sing.

"Did you want to sing?" Baekhyun spoke up, hesitating as he glanced over at the older. He could practically hear his friends cackling if they saw him like this. The loud-mouthed Baekhyun silenced, for once.

Minseok smiled, (at which Baekhyun proceeded to melt right then and there) shaking his head. "I'm not a great singer. But, I heard you were?"

Baekhyun cleared his throat, a sheepish chuckle leaving his lips as he waved off the older's accusations. "Ah, I'm not the best."

Minseok raised an eyebrow, glancing over at the television screen as Baekhyun continued to scroll through the list of songs.

"Is there any TVXQ?" The older questioned, pursing his lips in thought as Baekhyun handed the remote to the older.

"Ah, I see sunbae likes TVXQ?" Baekhyun grinned, watching as Minseok started typing in the name into the machine.

"Like? More like love." Minseok chuckled. "And Minseok, you can just call me Minseok. No formalities, okay?"

Baekhyun chewed on his bottom lip, his cheeks heating up as he nodded his head quickly. (He silently thanked the Gods above for this dimly lit room). "Ah, okay!"

--

(And after one make-out session at the karaoke place, Baekhyun could confidently say their relationship spun off from that point on.)

--

“Let’s take a break.” Baekhyun could hear the words repeating in his head. No matter how loud the music ringing against his eardrums are, Baekhyun can’t seem to get the sound of Minseok’s voice out of his head.

It was brought up suddenly, over the phone. No excuses, no reasons. Just a break.

It’s been two weeks since he’s last seen Minseok. His friends worry, not used to the quiet, reserved Baekhyun, compared to the loud and expressive Baekhyun they’ve all grown to love.

“Baek?” Joonmyeon muttered, waving a hand in front of the said boy’s face. He snapped out of it quickly, blinking his eyes rapidly as he came back to the reality of school.

“Wha—Oh, hi.” Baekhyun said blankly, going back to poking his chopstick against the uneaten piece of kimchi he has on his plate.

“You okay?” He asked hesitantly, as though he was afraid Baekhyun would break out into a sob, carefully reaching over to pat a hand against the younger’s back.

“I’m fine.” Baekhyun muttered, cheek resting against the palm of his hand as he eventually picked up the piece of kimchi and ate it. “Done.”

Joonmyeon and Jongin exchanged a weary glance towards each other, as Kyungsoo glanced at Baekhyun.

“Is this about...him?” Jongin spoke up, taking a sip from his carton of milk as he watched Baekhyun carefully.

“Nope.”

Awkward silence proceeds to gently drift into the air. Small cough. Clearing of the throat.

“Talk to him; demand an immediate answer. Go over to his apartment and don’t leave until you get your reason.” Kyungsoo broke the silence, not bothering to look up as he scarfs down the last bits of the fried rice he had packed. “That’s the only way.”

--

Baekhyun finds himself falling off the edge of their relationship; the sight of some random girl opening Minseok’s door has his blood boiling and his eyes burning. To top it all off, he nearly punches the wall when the older comes walking out, face practically smothered with stains of red lipstick

It takes Minseok awhile to realize that it was Baekhyun standing outside of his door, and the realization slaps him hard when he notices the expression written all over his face.

“Baekhyun, wait, hear me out.” The older spoke quickly, noticeably hung-over from last night. The girl besides Minseok looks just as shocked, opening to try and defend herself, Minseok, or the situation itself. But Baekhyun scoffs loud, obnoxious even when he thinks about it, and cuts off whatever the two might have to say to him. He ignores the burn behind his eyes, and the physical feeling of his lungs collapsing within him as he heart practically rips itself out from his body, and he musters up all the will he has left inside of him.

“ you, Kim Minseok.”

And he runs. He runs until he can’t breathe anymore, blocks away from Minseok’s apartment, blocks away from the nightmare he never wanted to have. He runs until he ends up tripping on an uneven pavement on the sidewalk, scraping his knees in the process, as he rolls onto his side. He hears the murmurs of people around him, slowly pushing himself up to get back onto his feet. Baekhyun offers a shaky smile to those staring at him, the tears that fall past his eyes uncontrollable at this point, as he walks away.

He takes the bus back home, and calls up Jongin, who calls up Joonmyeon and Kyungsoo, and they spend the rest of the day eating chicken and drinking beer.

--

Baekhyun grows a headache from the montage of texts Minseok sends him. The constant ding of his phone almost has him chucking it out the window of his room. But he figured the smarter thing to do was to silence his phone, which he does.

He picks himself up and dusts off himself; the texts starting coming in less and less, and before he knew it, nothing.

Baekhyun was confident that he’d finally be done with Minseok, until he came face to face with the man outside of his school, three weeks after the incident at the older’s apartment.

“Why?” Baekhyun says, voice cracking slightly as he runs a hand through his hair, pressing his palms against his eyes. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“You didn’t answer my text.” Minseok stated, hands stuffed into his pockets as he watched the younger carefully.

“Was that not enough of an answer for you?” Baekhyun snapped, lifting his head up as he glared at the older. “I’m done, Minseok. Really. I’m done waiting for your drunken to waltz about the stairs, yodeling on random TVXQ songs. I’m done with the constant unstableness, the constant nerve wracking feelings I get whenever I’m away from you. And I’m sure as ing done after finding you with her. You wanted a break, right? Have your ing break.”

Minseok took all of this in slowly, digesting his words one by one. He chewed on his bottom lip, glancing at the younger. “Baekhyun, listen. I explained this to you in the texts I sent, which I’m assuming you never did read. Some other chick threw herself onto me, and I told her no. I pushed her away. I was drunk, that’s for sure. I won’t deny the amount of times I get drunk, but I know what I’m doing. Nothing was reciprocated, you have to believe me.” Minseok said, almost pleading with the younger.

“That girl you saw, she was a friend. I was too drunk off my to get myself home, so she helped. You have to believe me.” Minseok said, words coming out quick and stuttered, hands nervously playing

“And what makes you think I’ll believe that?”

“Because,” Minseok started, his lips as though he was even regretting the next thing he says, “I brought her here to clear things up.”

“Minseok-“ Baekhyun started, voice strained; all he wanted to do is run away and not have anything to deal with Kim Minseok. From the corner of his eye, he spots the girl from Minseok’s apartment walking towards them from around the corner. There’s a hesitant look on her face as she casts a quick glance to Minseok, before looking at Baekhyun.

“Ah, hello. You must be Minseok’s boyfrie—“ She started, before Baekhyun quickly cut off her.

“Was - I was his boyfriend.” He said, ignoring the pained expression that flashed over Minseok’s face.

“Right.” She said, biting on her bottom lip. “That night, I had nothing to do with. I brought Minseok home from the frat party because I knew he was too intoxicated to even walk up the stairs.”

“He talks about you a lot when he’s piss drunk, you know?” She said, nodding her head quickly. “I know more about you than I actually know of Minseok.”

“Please don’t take what happened as a misinterpretation. I know the situation was bad; the timing overall was bad in general. But I did nothing with him, I have my own boyfriend back home so I hope that’s enough to clarify things between you two.” She said, letting out a small sigh, a visible pout on her lips as she looked between Baekhyun and Minseok.

Baekhyun felt his chest physically lighter than it was a moment ago, his anger dissipating briefly. “I understand, and I thank you for being honest with me. I believe the fact that you two didn’t do anything, and that Minseok wouldn’t do anything like that. I know him too well.”

He cleared his throat, rubbing his forehead with the back of his hand as he hesitated. “But I still don’t think I can do this with you anymore, Minseok.”

“Baekh—“

“I just don’t think we should bother with this. With us.” Baekhyun said quickly, nodding his head as he willed every part of his self-control to not break out into a sob. “I’m sorry.”

With a quick bow towards the girl, Baekhyun his heel and left.

--

It’s been a month since Baekhyun’s seen Minseok last. He knows nothing happened that night, and he knows that Minseok is someone that wouldn’t do such a thing. But he figures it would be for the best.

He slowly turns back to his loud-mouthed personality, and focuses on spending time with his friends whenever he gets the chance.

There’s no doubt the thought of Minseok still brings butterflies to his stomach, and has his heart racing. Of course, his feelings never did change for the older. There’s no doubt that emptiness still lingers inside of him, the place where Minseok occupied the most. But there’s nothing he could really do.

--

Baekhyun forgets his umbrella. Of all days he doesn’t remember to pack his umbrella, is the day it decides to torrentially pour outside. He frowns, standing within the comfort of the school building, afraid to even step foot and get washed away by the rain.

He receives a text from Minseok.

From: Minseok

--need a lift??

To Minseok:

--no.

Baekhyun glares at Minseok’s contact name, wondering why he never did delete it and shoves his phone back into his pocket. He contemplates making a run for it when the rain starts to die down, until he feels his phone vibrate again in his pocket.

From: Minseok

--too bad, i’m outside

“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Baekhyun mutters, peering out the window. No doubt, Kim Minseok with his sturdy umbrella is running down the sidewalk towards the school building.

He considers whether he should open the door for Minseok, but he does. Because he has an umbrella.

“Figured you didn’t bring an umbrella.” Minseok panted, slightly soaked from the rain as he hands the umbrella to him.

“I have my car, if you need a ride.” The older stated, casting a quick glance at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun admits defeat, finding himself seated in the passenger seat of Minseok’s car. A free ride in the pouring rain is something you just don’t deny, even if they sit awkwardly in silence for the whole ride.

--

No matter how many times Baekhyun tries and gets rid of Minseok, from his thoughts and in real life as well, the older just persistently shows up everywhere. It’s starting to annoy, and even scare, Baekhyun a bit.

“Kim Minseok, stop following me.” Baekhyun says out loud, glancing over at Minseok inside of his car, slowly driving next to him.

Rolling down the window, Minseok peers to look at the younger. “Why don’t I just give you a ride?”

“No.” Baekhyun says, his stubbornness never failing him.

“Baekhyun-“

“Leave, before I tell the school about some random college student who won’t stop circling around the students.” Baekhyun huffed, glaring over at Minseok.

The older sighed in defeat, pointing a finger at the boy as he rolled his windows back up. “I’ll be back for you, Byun Baekhyun.”

With the loud roar of his engine, Minseok was gone before Baekhyun could have time to blink.

--

Minseok starts to pick Baekhyun up after school every Friday. Sometimes he even manages to coax Baekhyun on getting a quick snack to eat. (Or Baekhyun all too willingly gives in to the chance of free food.)

“Tell me.” Minseok states one day, as they’re seated inside one of the bubble tea stores located near Baekhyun’s school.

Baekhyun frowns, chewing on a piece of popcorn chicken as he glances up. “Tell you what?”

“Tell me that you no longer have any feelings for me, and I won’t bother you anymore.”

Baekhyun blinks in response, eyes fluttering down at the popcorn chicken as his eyebrows furrow in thought.

“I don’t know.” He admits, poking at a piece of chicken with his fork.

“Seriously Baekhyun, I’ve been chasing after you for over three months. I’ve stopped my drinking habits; I’ve been keeping my weekends open, hoping for you to come by. If I’m doing all of this for nothing, please just let me—“

“I do, okay? I do have feelings for you, you idiot.” Baekhyun pouts stubbornly, feeling his ears turn a bright shade of red.

He could feel Minseok’s dumb smile from across the table, and he proceeds to shove the rest of the popcorn chicken into his mouth, quickly grabbing his bubble tea and bag as he walks away.

“Where are you going?” Minseok calls out, voice bright and cheery, but Baekhyun just flips him off and hurriedly dashes away, the sound of Minseok's laugh ringing in his ears even after he leaves.

--

To say that Baekhyun was afraid of committing again to a relationship that had him unstable for a while was an understatement. Because no matter how many times Baekhyun tries to find someone else besides Minseok, his thoughts always goes back to the one that stole his heart from the beginning.

But Baekhyun slowly lets himself open up to the older again, and finds the comfort he’s been missing these past months.

Despite the rocky roads they’ve walked on, individually or together, they still find themselves coming back to one another.

And what can you say? The withered out flame in their relationship never truly died. As small and dull as it may be, it still manages to ignite into something more.

--

Taking two steps at a time, Baekhyun climbs up the stairs as he hurriedly makes his way to the fourth floor. After the second flight of stairs, he starts to regret his decision on skipping the elevator. He pushes through it though, despite practically having his breath knocked out of his body entirely.

He finds himself on the fourth floor, pushing open the door as he takes in shallow breathes. No matter how many times he comes over to Minseok's apartment, Baekhyun always finds himself ignoring the fact that an elevator is just right there.

Minseok opens the door before Baekhyun could ring the bell, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I could hear you panting two floors down." Minseok chuckled, as Baekhyun shuffled his way inside, tossed his backpack down onto the floor before plopping himself down onto the older's couch.

"And you didn't come to help?" Baekhyun whined, glaring playfully at Minseok as he reached over for the television remote.

Minseok rolled his eyes, pressing the door behind him closed as he made his way back into the kitchen. "I was busy cooking dinner, you dork."

“Oh, dinner. Fancy. Kim Minseok never cooks for me, or in general.” Baekhyun teased, sitting up to try to peer into the kitchen.

“Consider yourself lucky, then.” Minseok quipped, chuckling as he got to work with his cooking.

After thirty minutes, Minseok has the table set up with a bunch of Baekhyun’s favorite dishes. Baekhyun practically melts at the sight of the food.

“Kim Minseok, you have me falling in love with you all over again.” Baekhyun hums, smiling cheekily as he plops himself down onto the seat, Minseok seated next to him.

“Here.” Minseok said, pushing a small envelope towards Baekhyun, just before he could take a quick bite of the spaghetti. He puffed his cheeks out, a confused expression on his face as he held up the envelope.

“Hm?” He hummed, opening it up and peering inside. He froze for a moment, before a goofy smile played on his lips.

“Really?” Baekhyun muttered, a slight dance to his voice as he peered up at Minseok.

“Of course. My place is your place.”

Baekhyun chewed on his bottom lip, unable to hide his smile as he reached inside for the key.

“You know this means I can just come in whenever, right?” Baekhyun questioned, fingers fiddling with the key.

“I took that into consideration.”

“And I can cook you food when you’re at class and bring it over to you?” Baekhyun hummed softly, a hopeful tone to his voice.

“And, you know, you can just stay here.” Minseok started, reaching his chopstick to pick up some kimchi. “Your college isn’t too far away, you know.”

Baekhyun his lips, his smile never leaving as he nodded his head. “I guess you’d have to deal with my annoying antics 24/7, huh?”

“I’ll love it either way.”

 

 

----

a/n: hello! i hope you enjoyed the read! i originally had this posted on winter light's xiubaek fic fest, and i felt like bringing it to aff and tweaking the content of the story a little. i've grown a love for xiubaek and the dynamics in their relationship.

please leave any comments you would like; whether it be about the story, about xiubaek, or if you wanna say hi! i'm friendly, and i love talking and getting to read what you have to say! c: ♡