Hyukjae looked up at the grey and cloudy sky, would it have been better if it had been a sunny day? He didn't know. Maybe this kind of weather was better; it fit his mood. Hyukjae tried to concentrate on the priest who was speaking about Donghae, but his brain wasn't able to absorb the words. Instead the words kept far away, like some buzzing sound in the background. He felt Sungmin putting his arm around his shoulder. Sungmin said something to Hyukjae, probably asking if he was okay, but he didn't hear. He felt like he was totally numb, like in coma but still awake.

"Hyukjae, Hyukjae!" Hyukjae snapped out of his thoughts. Sungmin was shaking his shoulder and looking at him with a worried face. "Hyukjae, are you okay?" Sungmin asked. "Everyone is leaving."

Hyukjae looked around; except for him and his two friends - Sungmin and Kyuhyun - everyone had left. His two friends were both looking at him with worried expressions on their faces. Hyukjae nodded to indicate that he was okay. Then he followed his friends to the parking lot. He wanted to walk back to his own car but his friends stopped him. "Hyukjae, you better come with us. You are in no state to drive." Sungmin said. Hyukjae wanted to protest and tell Sungmin he was fine and that he felt good enough to drive. But even he knew that he was never going to come home safely on his own. Whether or not on purpose. "But my car?" He asked numbly.

"Don't worry about that, Hyukjae. We'll get that later," Sungmin said.

"Okay," Hyukjae replied absently, while staring in to the distance, at nothing in particular.

"Hey," Sungmin said softly and hugged Hyukjae. "It's okay, Hyukjae. You can be sad. You don't be strong all the time. Not for us." He softly caressed Hyukjae's hair.

Hyukjae felt eyes starting to get moist. Sungmin's words were true, he had tried so hard to suppress his grief. He wanted to seem strong, even towards his friends. He knew that they wouldn't mind if he cried in their presence. But he did care, he didn't want to cry in company of other people, not even people so close as his best friends. The only people who had seen him cry where Donghae and his parents. But he knew he could no longer hide his tears. His grief was just too overwhelming. He pressed his face onto Sungmin's shoulder and started sobbing. His friend patted his back comforting. "It's okay," Sungmin whispered into his ear.

When Hyukjae had calmed down a bit he asked his friends if they could bring him home. They agreed and took him to his place. Hyukjae had still been crying all the way back to his home. He felt like all the grief of the last week - maybe even all sadness from the last years -had finally found it's way out.

***

"You better go to sleep, Hyukjae. You are tired." Sungmin said after they had arrived at Hyukjae's place.

Hyukjae shook his head. "I'm not tired yet. Can you please stay here with me? I don't wanna be alone now."

"That's okay. Just sit down." Sungmin said and pushed Hyukjae onto the couch. "Kyu, get some tea for us." He ordered his boyfriend.

Kyuhyun sighed and did what he was told. A little later he came back with three big mugs of tea.

"Here you go," Kyuhyun said and handed one of the mugs to Hyukjae.

The three of them sat quietly on the couch together, it was only after a while before one of them started talking again. Kyuhyun this time. "Hyung," he started. "You know that, even though I might be really awkward sometimes and even though I'm not good at this kind of things, you can always come to me. Or Sungmin. We're always here for you. You know that right?"

Hyukjae couldn't help but smile. He knew how hard this must have been for Kyuhyun to say. He wasn't good at talking about his feelings, so he really appreciated that Kyuhyun said this to him.

"I know. Thank you, Kyuhyun." Hyukjae said and smiled thankfully at Kyuhyun.

They all remained silent after that. It wasn't a bad silence, though. There were just no words to say right now, they were all griefing and they knew that there was nothing to say which would make them feel better.

Hyukjae's thoughts wandered off to the time before Donghae's death, before the day the police officer had come to his house to tell him his boyfriend had died in a car accident. To the time before today, the day on which he had just burried his boyfriend. He thought about all the great things he had done with Donghae. Their holiday to Jeju last summer when Donghae had finally proposed to Hyukjae (It wasn't a official engagement, as gay marriage still wasn't legal in Korea. But to them it hadn't mattered at that moment. To them it was just as special as a real engagement). He had known it already, though. He had heard Donghae talking on the phone with Sungmin about it. Donghae had probably thought that Hyukjae was already asleep. But he had woken up and heard his boyfriend talking on the phone with someone in a sneaky way. First he had thought that Donghae was seeing someone else and that he now was talking to that person on the phone. But then he realized that he wasn't talking to some boyfriend but that he was talking to Sungmin (it could also have been Kyuhyun, but Kyuhyun wasn't exactly the kind of person you discussed a proposal with) about the proposal. He had quickly returned to bed, feeling guilty about having eavesdropped on his boyfriend about something so important and amazing as his proposal. But even though he knew it was coming, he still was genuinely surprised when Donghae proposed to him. It had been more romantic than Hyukjae could have ever imagined. Donghae had taken him in a shaky rowing boat to a cute little beach where the ate dinner together. After diner Donghae had given him a self-made treasure map with the instructions to find a treasure. After searching for a while he had finaly found the treasure (not because of the instructions on the map, those were all wrong, but because he noticed some leaves which where piled up very suspiciously). He had opened the little box and found his engagement ring. Hyukjae had never felt so happy before in his life. It had made him realize how much he cared about Donghae and how much he had loved him... But then he snapped back to reality. Donghae was gone, he had died in a car accident a week ago. His boyfriend was dead and he was was heartbroken.

The day of Donghae's death had absolutely been the worst day in his life. A police officer had come to his house to tell him Donghae had died in a car accident. Killed instantly. It had been his worst nightmere and now it had all came true. Donghae was dead and Hyukjae... he was devastated because of it.

***

"Maybe it's better if we go now," Sungmin said after a while.

Hyukjae still didn't want them to leave, but he agreed anyway. After his friends left, he crawled into bed. He hadn't bothered to change into his pajamas, he just wanted to sleep. And forget. Even if it was just for a few hours. But sleep didn't come. He kept thinking about Donghae. After a while he wasn't able to cry anymore, he had already shed all of his tears.

It was already past midnight when Hyukjae finally fell asleep. But a little later woke up by the sound of things falling in the living room. He looked at his alarm clock on the nightstand. 2:23AM it said. A flash of fear went through his body. Who the hell could be in his house right now? He slid out of bed and opened the huge wardrobe in the bedroom and took out a baseball bat. Donghae had insisted on having a weapon in their bedroom for intruders. Hyukjae had always found it a little exaggerated to have a baseball bat in their closet, but right now he was really happy with his boyfriends' fear for intruders.

He held the baseball bat in one hand and with the other hand he cautiously opened the door of the bedroom. He soundlessly walked throught the hallway and stopped infront of the door to the living room. He tried to open the door as quietly as possible but the door still squeaked. He cursed internally. He hoped the intruder hadn't heard him. He opened the door further and walked into the living room.

He frowned. The intruder was standing in the kitchen (which was connected to the livingroom) and was looking through the kitchen cabinets. Not really the best place to find valuable stuff. Hyukjae walked closer. His heart pounded loudly in his chest. He was only a few meters away from the intruder. When he was only two meters away and about to swing his bat into the intruder's skull, the man turned around.

Hyukjae shrieked. He couldn't believe his eyes. He dropped the bat out of shock and and leaned against the wall to prevent him self from collapsing. "D-Donghae..." He stuttered. "Y-you are...."

"Hyukkie?" Donghae asked. "I... I uhm... T-this... this isn't what it looks like. I..."

"What are you doing here. You... You are... This... this can't be true..." Hyukjae murmured.

"I am really so-" Donghae started but then his eye fell onto the bat next to Hyukjae. "HYUKJAE!" He yelled. He walked over to his boyfriend and picked up the bat. "Seriously Hyukjae. I get you're angry that I'm eating your expensive chocolate, but to attack me with a baseball bat is a little exaggerated, don't you think?"

Hyukjae was out of words. Donghae was dead. He died in a car accident. Yesterday he had attented his funeral. He had looked into the coffin and he had seen Donghae laying in it. His face full of wounds of the accident. The makeup artists had tried to cover up the wounds on his face, but they had still been visable. This couldn't be true. Donghae was dead, he couldn't be standing here in their house right now, secretly eating his expensive chocolate which he had forbidden him to touch. But he didn't care about his chocolate now. Donghae was still alive, standing in his kitchen. And that was impossible.

"Hyukjae? Are you okay?" Donghae asked. "You didn't actually think I was an intruder, did you?" He smiled, but his eyes didn't smile with him. His worries were written all over his face. "Hyukjae... answer me..." He tried, but Hyukjae didn't seem to hear him.

"I uh..." Hyukjae murmured.

Donghae threw the bat onto the couch and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. Hyukjae hid his face into Donghae's neck. "Hey, what's wrong?" Donghae asked again. "This isn't about me eating your chocolat, right? Tell me. You can tell me everything, Hyuk. You know."

Hyukjae was still out of words. How could this be happening?

"I'm sorry," he apologized when he was finally able to utter a word again. "I'm going outide for a while," he said and ran outside.

***

Hyukjae collapsed into the humid grass of the small grassfield infront of their appartment building. He just had to go outside to get some fresh air. He inhaled and exhaled deeply for a while, trying to slow down his heartbeat.

What is happening? He asked himself. Am I starting to become crazy? He didn't know. He hoped he wasn't insane, the last thing he wanted was to send away to some madhouse. No, he wasn't insane, he told himself. He didn't know what was happening, but he wasn't crazy.

When he had calmed down a little he went back inside. Donghae was probably really worried about him. He would have been too if the roles were the other way around.

"Hello," Hyukjae whispered after came inside.

"Hi," Donghae replied. "Feeling better?"

Hyukjae nodded.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened?"

No, he didn't want to talk about it, he just wanted to sleep and pretend it never happened. But that wasn't acceptable. He had acted very strange, Dongae deserved an explanation, whether or not it was true. He sat down next to Donghae on the couch and grabbed his boyfriend's hand.

He frowned and thought deeply. What kind of story could he make up to explain this kind of behaviour?

He just chose for the easy one.

"I'm sorry, Hae. I'm just very tired, so I guess I really thought you were an intruder and-"

Donghae snorted and hit Hyukjae the back of his head. "You idiot!" He yelled and laughed. "It's okay, at least now you see it was a very good idea of me to put that bat in the closet."

Hyukjae sighed. He was glad Donghae saw all of this just as one big joke, at least that meant he wasn't suspicious about it. Not that Donghae ever was very suspicious of anything, he was such a gullible kid. Not that he could judge, he was extremely gullible himself too.

"I'm going back to bed," Donghae said after a while. "I have to wake up early because of my meeting tomorrow." He glanced at the clock. "Or today... It's already 1:23AM. That means it already tomorrow."

"Sure, I'm coming too in a minute. What meeting is it?"

Donghae snorted. "How come you don't know, Hyuk. I've been talking about it non-stop. It's the one with the Chinese company, remember?"

Hyukjae frowned, that meeting was the 5th of May... he blinked his eyes a few times. The funeral was May 26th... How could he been talking about that meeting? Hyukjae was sure they were talking about about the same meeting. It was the meeting with a Chinese company who were interested in a business deal with Donghae's company. He had been talking about it for weeks, he was really excited about it. The meeting was on the 5th of may, he was sure. Hyukjae bit my lip. So that mean that... that he went back in time. No, that couldn't be true. It sounded absolutely ridiculous. But... Maybe it was true in some kind of way. If today was the day of the meeting, which was may 5, than that meant he went back three weeks. The funeral was a week after the accident, so... did that mean he was now back two weeks before the accident? If that was true than that meant he could maybe prevent the accident from happening. But no, he couldn't be that hopeful. He would probably wake up tomorrow morning finding out it had all been a dream. This was fake, it was all an illusion. He was so heartbroken that his mind had made this up. It couldn't be true. Or maybe it was... Maybe he had gotten a second chance. A second chance to save his boyfriend from his imminent fate. Could he? Could that really be possible?

"Hyuk? Hyukjae?" Donghae waved his hand in front of Hyukjae's face.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry."

"Do you remember already?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. I remember. How could I forget such an important meeting?"

Donghae frowned. "Well, I don't know. But I'm going to bed now. I really need some more sleep. I hope I can sleep, though. I'm really nervous about the meeting so-"

"Don't be," Hyukjae interrupted. The Chinese company agreed with the deal, they changed a few things about the contract. But they agreed. At least they did last time...

"Yeah, you said that before, Hyuk. But you don't know anything about this. About business deals. Or money... I'm really worried they will reject the deal."

"Really, Hae. Don't worry. I might not know a lot about your work but trust me, I know it's going to be alright."

"Okay, if you say so..." Donghae said and left.

Hyukjae sighed and followed him. Maybe some sleep would make thing a little clear.

 

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Yayy! first chapter. I hope you guys liked it and I hope it is all understandable and not too vague hehe :D I checked it on typos and mistakes very often so I hope there aren't to many mistakes. ^^