When we first met, it was nothing special. You were a plain girl and I was someone famous. I take it that you were just a normal friend that I can talk to. It just so happened that you are a girl, is it because that you are a girl that I grew fonder of you? You were never into idols as well as sweet talkers. You hate playboys and are very straightforward with your words. You are the type of girls that causes up random troubles. I don’t mind. I like you the way you are. As a friend. Yes, I like you the way you are as a friend. Nothing more. Perhaps because of my last love that I see nothing in you, you were so plain and so tomboyish that I do not care much if there are scandals between us. I just shrugged it off. It was just a simple friendship that we had. Yet, day by day I found myself wanting to talk to you, wanting to see you, even wrote you a song. It was just a simple song anyway, so don’t misunderstand it as something else. It is a song that represents our friendship, a short friendship. I still don’t know what it is that I like you so much, is it because of your smile? Is it because of your frankness? I don’t know. You were so odd, randomly drawing down the scenes that we visit, jotting down my words. Taking pictures of everything that you see, recorded our conversations. What are you going to do with them? You did this with everyone else as well.

“What the-” I yelled at you when I saw pictures and drawings of places that we visit and even records of conversations written on paper, all pinned on the wall and laying around the house. “What are you going to do with all of these?!” I was pretty mad, thinking that you will use these to blackmail me and my group and everyone else that I kindly introduced to you. You were numbed, silently not answering my questions. Your eyes have tears in it, but I was careless and did not take it to consideration that you have a reason. “They were right; you were the one who did all this!” I sighed and looked away in shame, so ashame that I have a friend like you. I cried knowing that I had a friend like you, someone who blackmail and feed on famous people. You were so heartless; you even fake a friendship just to get what you want. I took you to places, thinking of impressing you, not knowing that I was played. I asked you questions, confronting you but all you did was wailed and cried those crocodile tears of yours. “If you value me as a friend then give them all to me.”

“No.” You wailed softly with a shaking voice.

“GIVE THEM TO ME!” I demanded.

“No.” You wailed softly again. I was so in raged and did not think clearly that I started ripping down all the notes on the wall, tearing them, destroying the tapes, smashing everything in the room. All you did was just standing there and cried those crocodile tears of yours. I’m destroying everything that I had with you and you must’ve felt guilty which is why you didn’t do anything. I thought so, I thought I was right. I was right. 

“Get out of my face! I never want to see you again! Go far away, leave everything. We end here,” you screamed. With that I left you all alone in the room, destroying all your treasures that I thought were trash that you use it to play with me.

 

 

The song that I wrote for you, it reflect you, I thought but then this is not the real you. This is a fake one. This shouldn’t be a song for you. It should be for someone else. Better yet, I should destroy it, and so I did. I ripped it apart and didn’t want to write anything at all. I hate you. I loathed you; I hate you for using me. I was so naive, believing in you because of your plainness. I think after this, all the lost love with women. I’ll turn to like men and blame it on you for changing me. How stupid of I to think that? Yet, with this you know how mad I was with you. I never was this serious about anyone. Wait. I thought I said that you were just a friend, a plain friend. Since when was I so serious about you? I never really tell you the truth. I was being vague, playing with you just like how you did with me. Wait. I thought this was just a plain friendship, since when did it became so complicated? Why am I thinking of you? Why are all my thoughts are all about you? I turned to look at all the parts of the piece of paper that I ripped on the floor. Everything was just perfect. I wish I can talk to you and rant to you. In the morning, I went to your house and saw that you were gone but everything was still there. I stood and stared at the notes on the wall. I ended up reading them. They were so random and plain. 

 

Today, we went to the park, although it was at night. I think I saw a firefly. 

 

Why are they so simple? Who would use this to blackmail someone? I thought as I went and read more of them, what an idiot I am. Why did you write down everything I said when I was just playing? Why did you take it so serious? Idiot. Such an idiot, I’m an idiot.

 

He was smiling at the boy that got tripped in front of the restaurant across from us.

But then, Karma got him back, he tripped in front of the restaurant when we leave the place.

 

 

What are these? Trying to embarrass me? I can do it myself. Yet, why are they so simple. You even drew me, and you label me as a cute boy that goes by the name “Donghae, I just have to remember fishes then I’ll remember him.” What? I went and searched for more. I sat on the floor when I figure out that these are not things for you to blackmail others. I made a mistake. “Please, give me back my memories.” You wailed, I heard your wailing and went to find you, on the floor, crying with notes surrounding you. A pencil and papers, drawing down the scene of last night, the way I was mad at you, pointing at you, smashing everything, words are place where it is and you standing there crying. It was all drawn down on the paper. You wept while your hands moved rapidly drawing down the lines of everything else to make a picture. Your hand were red, were you drawing all night? Your eyes were also all red, were you crying all night?

“Stop it. Stop it! STOP IT!” I screamed, holding you back against the wall. “Please stop it!” I pleaded.

“Please let go of me, who are you?” You asked, trying to push me away. “Who are you? I don’t know you. Please get out of my way, I have to draw, I have to draw down whatever I have left in my mind or else everything will be gone and I will lose everything.” You wept, pushing me away and began drawing again, your hands moved furiously against the paper, you cough and cried, ignoring everything else around you. I looked at you, the messy you that only focus on a piece of paper even if your hands were all red and bleeding. “My memories, please don’t go away.” You pleaded, crying to the piece of paper. “Please don’t go away yet, let me recap all of it. Please don’t leave me.” You pleaded and pleaded, crying to the piece of paper.

“Stop, stop it.” I grabbed your hand, trying to stop you from hurting yourself yet you refuse, resisted me and fight back. I couldn’t do anything, but pull you to my warm body, to cool you down, to give you new memories.

“Let me go, I have to draw, or else they’ll leave.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay, forget about him. He’s a jerk. Don’t care about him.” I held you in my arms, so tightly and so warm, but you were so fragile.

“I have to remember him, I have to remember everyone.” You wept and wailed.

“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter if you remember me or not. As long as I do. And I’ll promise you, I will always do.” I brought your hand and placed it over my heart. “Place your hand over my heart and listen to the heartbeat.” You cried, looking into my eyes.

“I don’t know you.” My heart shattered into pieces.

“Even if it’s just one minute. I will remember you, listen to my heart.” I started crying. My tears flowed down to my cheeks. I looked into your eyes and reassure, even though you replied to me with formal languages as a stranger to a stranger. I don’t mind. Because I like you the way you are. The plain you.“Place your hand over my heart, and listen to the heartbeats. Can you hear the song in my heart? It’s beating for you.With every minute, I’ll make memories with you. And I promise you, that I won’t let you forget about me. I promise I will always remember you. I will always do. Let’s all record down our conversations, writes down the silly words that we say. Take pictures of the places we go together, draw down our memories.” Your lips were so smooth and warm, the feeling of it caressing mine. I will always remember it and I’m sure you will too. I’ll make it so that you will remember our moments together. So don’t worry about not remembering me. As long as I do, that is enough for me. I don’t wish for anything else.