It was 11 in the evening yet Jiyong is still hard at work ensuring that everything he owned were properly sorted into the 10 boxes that currently littered his bedroom floor. He had been here for more than 4 hours now, yet he still had so much to do. He was expecting the movers at 6 am tomorrow but half the belongings in his room were still in their proper places. Jiyong knew that he was in it for a sleepless night but the thought of his new home waiting for him motivated him to keep on going despite the physical exhaustion he was surely going to have.

He just finished clearing out his third closet, his thoughts full of curses directed at himself for having had so many closets built and having had the urge to hoard a lot of things that he knows he does not really need. But Jiyong has always loved fashion and shopping and it was what he turned to whenever he was confronted with anything with anything that negatively affected his life. The clothes and the glitter he wore were like masks that hid his vulnerable and insecure self, giving him the confidence and the aura that made G-dragon who he was.

But the days of his idol life were long gone and he was now reduced to a man in his mid-40s finally taking the first step out of the industry that had consumed his life since he was 7 years-old. He was ready for a new life, a new start, and though he could never quite get rid of his fame, it was far from when he had been at the peak of his career. An occasional fan would recognize him here and there, but it was very tame and manageable now to the point that he does not have to have security around him anymore whenever he went out.

After taking a breather and wiping the sweat that had gathered on his face, Jiyong stood up once again, now full of resolution, facing the doors of his fourth closet, the one that he used the least. He groaned as he viewed the mess that was inside of it. It would take forever to sort it out, he concluded. Inside was a dishevelled mess of clothes, accessories, and little knickknacks he had collected over the years. As much as he is usually a very neat man, this was the closet where he threw everything he never used anymore so he didn’t see the need to organize it.

He started pulling the clothes out one by one, deciding that he would put most of the things on this closet on the box that was going to the YG stylist noonas who were begging him for his old clothes which they could use for their current idols. Most of the things he owned were only used once or twice at most, and all were still in good shape and condition. Styles faded in and out of public taste anyway and YG idols were always at the forefront of new fashion, they could start a new trend of bringing back the old looks.

He cursed as his hands hit something hard on the back of his closet, the impact leaving a stinging pain on his hand. Instinctively withdrawing the said hand, he examined it, frustrated at the fact that the top layer of the skin was peeled off leaving a slightly bleeding wound that would surely leave a scar. Trying to locate the offending item more carefully now and mentally deciding that whatever the thing was it was going to the trash bin, he d around at his closet again. He drew out a small jewelry box. He almost wanted to laugh at himself for being hurt by quite a tiny object. He brought it closer to his face, admiring the studded diamonds that randomly littered the outside of the box, reflecting the subdued light illuminating his closets. His attention was drawn to the clasp that prevented the box from spilling out its contents, for in it was an ornate calligraphy of his name. It seemed very familiar but his mind could not place what it was at that moment. Shrugging his shoulders, he concluded that maybe the box was something given to him by some random fan when he was still quite young and popular, or maybe it was a freebie in a long-forgotten event he had attended in the past.

Walking towards the box that held all the things he was throwing away, he set down the jewelry box he was currently holding and was about to pull away when he noticed an etching on the side that was covered by his hands before. On it were the characters for Saranghae. His heart beating fast, he reached for it almost impulsively not caring if the pointed edges might scrape his skin again, his mind now slowly remembering what the box was and who it may be from. He turned the box over recalling that there was something special in the bottom which could confirm his suspicions. He then saw what he was looking for, and his breath was knocked out of his lungs.

SR, the letters though quite minute, stood out to him more than the diamond studs surrounding it.

SR his mind chanted over and over again keeping pace with the rhythm of his pounding heart.

SR…… Seungri.

With shaking legs he walked to his bed, sitting himself down on the floor before he could collapse on himself, his head resting on the soft silk that was his current bedspread. With trembling hands he tried to open the clasp. When the lock clicked, he awaited with bated breath as he slowly opened the cover to reveal the contents inside.

His eyes were first drawn to a blue bottle cap, the most mundane thing in the contents, yet it held his gaze as an unbidden memory played out in his head.

“Why the hell do you have a bottle cap in your drawer Maknae-ah? Are you that lazy that you can’t even throw away trash?”, Jiyong said to Seungri, throwing the said offending item at his boyfriend.

Seungri hurriedly ran and almost tripped over himself in an endeavor to catch what Jiyong has thron, grasping it only when it was about to hit the ground.

Even though Jiyong was stunned, his feet propelled him forward even before he could think. He then went by his boyfriend’s side who was caressing his own elbow, probably trying to numb away the pain he must have felt when his skin there was abraded.

Trying but failing to control his anger Jiyong muttered to Seungri: “Why did you almost kill yourself for something so stupid? Now look at your elbow, it’s all banged up!”

Seungri winced at Jiyong’s tone and his eyes drifted to the floor.

“You won’t understand even if I told you why.”, Seungri muttered.

“Sorry, I was just shocked and worried. You know I hate you being hurt.”, Jiyong said as he then brought his lips to Seungri’s elbow kissing the swollen area. His eyes then met Seungri’s and he smiled at him.

Seungri smiles back and says: “Just promise me you won’t tease me, okay?”.

Jiyong nods, grinning widely, happy at the fact that Seungri was at least smiling again.

“It was the cap of the first bottle of water you gave me when we were still trainees”, Seungri confessed as a blush crept up his face.

“And you kept that for all of these years?”, Jiyong asked, his voice not more than a whisper.

And when Seungri nodded, Jiyong just couldn’t help himself and launched himself at his boyfriend, peppering the latter’s face with kisses.

Smiling despite tears forming in his eyes, Jiyong tore his gaze away from the bottle cap and unto the next item beside it: a movie ticket. He took it in his hands and it slowly as the first teardrop finally fell from his face.

“Damn that kiss is so unbelievable! The actor and the actresses look so stoic together. It’s so clear they’re only forced to do it. Kisses should be with passion. There’s not even a tongue action in there!”, Seungri said as indignantly as he could while still trying to lower his voice down.

They had snuck out, just the two of them. The other members have refused to come with them, fearing being caught while out in public. They had just started to become popular because their song “Lies” was currently at its 3^rd week on the top of the charts. Their dreams were finally starting to come true.

However, Jiyong was physically and emotionally tired and needed a break from all the promotions and newly-found attention showered on them. He wanted to go out and see a movie, something they all used to do quite often when they were still unknowns. It helped calm him down and kept him grounded, and it let him escape reality even just for a while. When he asked s to go with him the others shook their heads vehemently, looking at Jiyong as if he were out of his mind. It was only Seungri that was excited at the prospect of a night out in public. Maybe only he and their Maknae were daredevils at their hearts.

Jiyong’s thoughts were interrupted as he felt his fingers accidentally brush with Seungri’s as they apparently both had been absentmindedly reaching into the container between them to get some popcorn. Their eyes met as their skin sizzled at the continuous contact. Those eyes that had been haunting Jiyong’s nights since he had realized his growing attraction to his dongsaeng months ago were now staring into his own reflecting everything that he was feeling right now: shock, puzzlement, excitement, but mostly, hope.

And when Jiyong started involuntarily moving his head forward, Seungri did the same, slowly closing the gap between them until they could feel each other’s breaths on their faces, both looking at each other as though daring the other to do what they both instinctively knew had to be done. It was Seungri that caved first as he pushed himself forward, capturing Jiyong’s lips in a searing kiss that lasted only God knows how long. Jiyong was just lost in the sensation of his lips moving along with Seungri’s in perfect synchrony as though they had done this multiple times already instead of it being their first.

They only pulled away when the lack of air necessitated their surfacing, both having little stupefied grins on their faces as they stared at each other.

And of course, Seungri, being who he is, breaks the moment as he exclaims: “Now that’s a real kiss with passion!”.

They held hands the rest of the night.

Setting down the movie ticket, Jiyong then tried to stem the tears that were now actively flowing down his face. His shoulders were shaking, his mouth letting out his involuntary gasps as his emotions started to overwhelm him. Through his blurry vision, a glint of gold captured his eyes and tipped him over the edge. He set the box down almost haphazardly and immediately hugged himself as the memory of the best and worst day of his life took over his brain completely.

Jiyong and Seungri were lying down in bed, and glowing in the aftermath of their lovemaking. They held hands and cuddled, unconsciously trying to draw each other closer, basking in the feel of their hearts beating together as though they were one only one person.

Jiyong was about to drift off to sleep lulled by the comforting sound of the beating of his boyfriend’s heart when he felt Seungri started to squirm. Jiyong lazily brings his eyes up to look at his lover: “What’s up? Aren’t you tired? Let’s sleep now. You still have a flight to catch tomorrow”.

Seungri smiled at Jiyong lovingly as Jiyong caresses Seungri’s chest.

“I know baby. I just need to get something out of my bag”, Seungri says as he started pulling away from a disgruntled Jiyong who was then huffing and making tssk-ing noises at his boyfriend.

Seungri then near the door, flicking the switch up, and flooding the otherwise darkened room with light. Jiyong threw a pillow over his face as the unwelcome light tried to sear through his eyes even when he had tried to close them as soon and as tightly as he could. He then muttered expletives at Seungri who then laughed his distinctive hyena laugh at Jiyong’s actions.

He could hear Seungri prattling in the room, maybe looking for his bag. Since it was taking quite a while, Jiyong giggled as he surmised that Seungri’s light backpack might have been lost in the sea of luggage that Jiyong had flown into Paris for the fashion week he was attending.

A little later, he could hear Seungri’s footsteps drawing closer to the bed. A little put out at Seungri for not closing the light, Jiyong muttered to his boyfriend, requesting him to darken the room again. Seungri just laughed in response, while his footsteps kept getting nearer and nearer to where Jiyong was.

A bit pissed at Seungri for not doing what he requested, Jiyong threw away the pillow covering his face and sat up to berate his lover, only to find the latter kneeling on the floor beside their bed, something on his hand. When their eyes met, Seungri finally began speaking while Jiyong looked on in utter awe.

“Kwon Jiyong, the love of my life, will you spend the rest of my life with me?”, said Seungri, his voice confident, yet his eyes and hands  betraying the nervousness he must be feeling, as the box that contained a beautiful golden ring kept shaking.

A few seconds of silence ensued as Jiyong’s brain continued to refuse to work. It was only when Seungri muttered: “Love? Jiyong-ah?” that Jiyong came to his senses.

Jiyong then hugged his boyfriend tightly, tears of joy falling down his handsome face. A few minutes later, when he had finally calmed down, they let go of each other and sat side by side on their shared bed. Seungri then took Jiyong’s hands and brought it near him and inserted the ring unto Jiyong’s ring finger.

“I know we can’t legally marry yet in our country, but I just wanted something to show you just how much I’m committed to you. I’ve loved you from the first moment I laid my eyes on you, and I have loved you more from the moment you became mine. And though we’re seldom apart, I just wanted you to always have a piece of me with you whenever we are away from each other. I want you to think of me as often as you can, and for you to remember that there is someone who is completely enthralled by your entire being and is irrevocably in love with you”, said Seungri to Jiyong in a teary voice as he caressed the latter’s hand that was now adorned with the ring.

“Thank you my dear. Of course I’ll never forget you. You’re always on my mind and in my heart, and there you shall stay forever”, said Jiyong, his happiness reflected by the smile that graced his lips and was reflected by his eyes.

“Promise me it’s forever”, Seungri whispered to Jiyong.

 “Yes. It will be forever”, Jiyong answered, before taking his lover’s lips into his own

Jiyong kept replaying what had happened last night in his head as he went about his schedule for the day, a smile breaking out in the most inappropriate moments. It was highly obvious to everyone who was with him that Jiyong was only physically present but mentally absent but nobody had called him out on it, as  all were instead revelling at the rare moment when Gdragon was not his usual perfect and professional self, and slightly relieved that he won’t be as nitpicky as he usually is.

Jiyong was actually tempted to skip out on his activities and be with Seungri all day, but the latter also had a schedule in Japan for a variety show that he was guesting at. Although they were miles apart in terms of distance, Jiyong knew that they were still one. Although he had no doubt that Seungri loved him, the band that now comfortably nestled on his ring finger continually reminded him of that fact.

Jiyong’s reverie was punctuated when his phones began to sound off, notification after notification apparently flooding them. Fear started spreading in his body, stopping him in his tracks. It was as though an unseen force was actively preventing him from reaching over to his bag and grabbing the phones out of their confinement. It was only when the personalized ringtone he had for Youngbae started playing that Jiyong gathered enough strength to answer the phone that was now sounding off.

“Jiyong. Do you know?”, said Youngbae, his voice laced with grief.

Jiyong’s heart started beating very fast, his breath now caught up in his throat. His eyes started tearing up. He knew before Youngbae had even said the words.

“Jiyong, Seungri’s plane never made it to Japan. Seungri’s gone Jiyong. He has left us. ”, said Youngbae.

The phone dropped and shattered as it hit the floor. And so did Jiyong’s heart.

There was even no body to bury, Jiyong remembered, only bits and pieces of the plane was gathered. It was an international scandal that threatened France and South Korea’s relations. It went on for years, only being resolved when France had issued an official apology and claimed full responsibility for what had happened. It had resulted in groundshaking innovations in aviation technology.

But no amount of technology could ever bring back Seungri. Oh yes he was mourned by everyone who knew him, but Jiyong mourned the most. It took months until he was able to go out in public again, years until he was able to ride on a plane. Bigbang had broken up in the aftermath of that tragedy, unable to stand the daily reminder that their precious Maknae had been lost.

But the world had moved on and Jiyong was forced to do the same. YG had kept him in as a producer and a mentor to the newer stars. Jiyong had poured all of his time and effort into producing music for others to sing. He first treated it like a therapy, an outlet for everything he had felt. All the songs he wrote based on his and Seungri’s love and life became instant hits, but they weren’t able to fill the gaping hole that Seungri left. As time went by, music became his one true love. What was he to do when his true love had gone and left him?

The healing process was slow, but it had happened. It started with Jiyong having enough strength to box off all of Seungri’s possessions and donating it to charities or giving the important memorabilia to the people who mattered to his ex-lover. It continued with Jiyong moving into a new apartment for a fresh start as their old home was still permeated with Seungri’s scent. Pictures of Seungri were slowly replaced with newer ones of Jiyong’s family, friends, and all the idols he had handled. Time had continued to move forward, and Jiyong was carried along with it, until one day, Seungri was neither Jiyong’s first and last thought anymore.

And now, seeing this box that contained the little trinkets of their time spent together: the bottle cap that was special to Seungri, the movie ticket for their first kiss, and the engagement ring that Seungri had given to Jiyong the night before he died, had brought up once again the long-dormant pain that Jiyong had tried to bury a long long time ago.

But what Jiyong felt the most right now was guilt. Didn’t he promise Seungri that he was going to remember him forever? Wasn’t Seungri supposed to be in his heart and mind every single day of his life? Why couldn’t he have held on to that? That was all that Seungri asked of him. And yet, here he was, many years later, not recognizing something that he once held dearest. He had failed Seungri. He had failed himself.

And now it doubly hurts, for it was like losing Seungri all over again. For Jiyong had lost him not only to death, but he had also lost him again through the passage of time.

Through the tears, Jiyong grabbed on to his phone and called the only person who might understand him. It was a long-shot, Jiyong knew, for they have not spoken in years. But luck must have been on his side because the phone had rung until a voice answered.

“Jiyong?”, Youngbae’s voice rang throughout the silence in Jiyong’s house.

“Youngbae, I need you. Please come here,” Jiyong was able to say through the whimpers still coming out of his mouth.

Not even 30 minutes later, Youngbae arrives, taking in the scene of utter chaos that greeted him. Not only was Jiyong’ s possessions everywhere, but the man was a crumpled heap on the floor, the only sign of life were the continuous tears streaming through his face as he caressed the ring that he was continually staring at.

“Jiyong, isn’t that –“, Youngbae chokes up too, as he realizes what was the cause of his former friend’s breakdown.

“Please, Youngbae, bring me to him”, Jiyong says as he finally found the strength to look at the stranger who used to be his bestfriend.

Understanding what Jiyong meant, Youngbae helped the former to stand up and silently directed him to his car. Jiyong was still crying throughout the entire ride. Neither tried to break the silence. It was neither because they had had few conversations throughout the years, nor the fact that they were just not part of each other’s lives anymore. It was because both were lost in their own heads, memories with their Maknae filling up their every thought.

When they have finally arrived at their destination, Jiyong quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and ran until his legs gave way and he stumbled and fell on the sand. Jiyong  summoned the strength and will to sit up and face the water, which he could only find out from the distant sound of the waves crashing into each other.

“I’m sorry”, Jiyong shouted to the darkness in front of him as Youngbae just looked on from afar. “I’m sorry forgetting you. I should never have had. I’m sorry for moving on”.

Youngbae didn’t know what do nor say, all he knew was that Seungri would have wanted them all to move on. But he knew it was not his place to tell that to Jiyong.

Jiyong just continued muttering the phrase “I’m sorry” over and over again into the air, knowing that he’ll never get a reply, his heart breaking all over again because of that knowledge.

Jiyong wasn’t sure if he was just hallucinating because of the explosion of emotions that he had experienced tonight or because the physical exhaustion had finally begun to set in, or maybe it was just a form of wish fulfillment, but Jiyong could have sworn on his life that the sound of the wind almost his face had almost said: “It’s okay. Be happy”. 

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A/N: 

I'm sorry for not continuing the "Uncanny Love Triangle." I'm actually contemplating moving it and making it it's own series, so it's the reason why I swapped the placement of the chapters. :)

This story was inspired by my recent obsession with the MaLec ship from the Shadownhunters (a tv series which is based on The Mortal Instruments book series). In that fandom, there are a lot of fics about Magnus moving on from Alec's death because of the issue of Magnus being immortal while Alec being mortal. And I thought, what would happen if NyongTory had that issue? But since I'm not overly fond of writing totally AU fics, the idea got switched to what would happen if Seungri had died and Jiyong had moved on and forgotten about him and what would happen if he was suddenly reminded of their past together? And the story wrote itself until my eyes were bawling on their own. T-T I'm sorry if this is so angsty but I've been feeling so angsty recently that it just... meshed I guess. I'll try to write a fluff piece for this collection of fics for the next one. :)

Thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think. :)