Word.count: 669

 

There are times when everything seems fine. When there are no bad things because everything just feels so good.

Then there are times when you realise that everything truly is not. When you can feel others stress and pain and where you can tell that , our world . Big time

 

***

 

Jessica intertwined her fingers with Taeyeon's smaller ones. Gently leading her forwards, across the crowded street. 

Taeyeon remembers how light Jessica's footsteps and movements where. How quick it passed even though it felt like it was moving in slow motion.

 

***

 

When Jessica was around, every place felt beautiful and every day together felt like seconds. Precious, precious seconds that passed them by. 

Taeyeon feels as if happiness and sleep could be a person, it would've been Jessica.

 

***

 

By Jessica's touch, it felt as if every nerv in her body was set on fire. 

Every caress and felt good beyond anything ever imagineble. Even a poke in her rib could make Taeyeon tip over the edge and practically launch herself onto the younger. Before they knew it their bodies was as bare as the day they been born.

 

***

 

"I knew" Jessica mutters tears seamlessly running down her cheems."I knew all along...yet....I..." a strangled sob was all she could press out past her trembling lips.

Taeyeon doesn't dare move, it all seems so sudden. Too much, too cruel.

Taeyeon dares to put her hand ontop of Jessica's pale one, squeezing softly she tries to smile despite thr pain. Jessica tries to smile back.

Emphasis on tries.

Taeyeon scoots closer and wraps one arm around Jessica's shaking shoulders, pulling her close. Into her arms where Jessica always are welcomed and loved.

Where she will be severely missed.

 

***

Jessica doesn't recover. Instead she steadily keeps on getting worse.

Taeyeon feels as if the world is mocking her.

But there's nothing she can do but cry.

For Jessica that's far too young to die.

For their shared dreams and future that all seem to shatter and break.

For herself, who loves Jessica with all her heart.

Taeyeon whom selfishly refuses to let go.

 

***

 

It doesn't take long before Jessica's family is called in. To bid their goodbyes. 

Taeyeon refuses to utter those words. She doesn't want Jessica to leave her.

Jessica smiles despite her terrible state. Hugs Taeyeon with all the fragile strength she can muster.

It isn't until her very last minute, that Jessica stops smiling. As heavy as her body feels, so does her heart.

Saddened by the damage she caused upon her loved ones.  "I'm sorry Taeyeon, for not being strong enough. For letting you walk the rest of our path alone" Taeyeon cries harder. The pain and greif all too overwhelming.

"But remember that I will always love you" Jessica finishes and draws her final breath.

"...And I you" Taeyeon whimpers, still tightly clutching onto Jessica's pale hand. Tears streaming down her cheeks.

 

***

 

Every breath without Jessica feels heavy. Like her lungs amd chest are filled with stones.

The flowers doesn't smell as good and the birds doesn't chirp as happily as before.

And the sights. God, the views she used to love. Somehow doesn't quite feel and look the same anymore. 

Taeyeon wishes ahe could erase their memories. Burn them to ashes and forget. Because they haunt her on quiet moments and tints every rainbow gray.

Jessica was like a storm, Taeyeon figures. A beautiful but chaotic mass destrpying mess.

The bone-deep cuts she inflicted against her will on everyone she treasured.

She was.a house of cards on a windy day. Collapsing in on itself despite the helpless and utterly useless resistance.

Jessica was like papercuts on Taeyeon's fingertips and painful bruises on her arms.

Taeyeon could taste Jessica like blood in . Like the bitter aftertaste after a lost fightt.

After some grumbling and agonizing alone time. Taeyeon realised that Jessica was like a storm. A unpredicted one.

But Taeyeon doesn't regret anything.

Only maybe, that she hoped:

Jessica had stayed longer.