Knocking on the closed door, Seungho could see how worries and fear swirled in Eunah's pair of dark orbs, shifting on her feet nervously when there was still no answer of some sort coming from behind the closed door. There was only sound of thunder ripping the night sky accompanied them and the pattering of rain drops hitting the wet ground.

                "Knock again, oppa." Eunah requested, her brows almost pulled together and there was glisten of unshed tears. She swallowed loudly as Seungho made a move, bringing his hand up to knock on the wooden door for fifth time. Still no answer. "Call him." She whispered again, hands fiddling with her long night gown.

                Obeying, Seungho turned back towards the closed door, calling out for his maknae. "Cheolyong-ah." Still, only silent greeted him in return. "Maybe he's asleep." Seungho tried to reason which earning him a vigorous shook of head from Eunah.

                "Just a second ago I heard loud crash again and he... I'm sure I heard him cry." Eunah sniffled, shivering slightly at the recollection of the heavy sound she heard just not half an hour ago that brought her out of her sleep. "Cheolyong-ah. Please open the door." Eunah called out with wavering voice, a sob almost escaping her quivering lips.

                Seungho frowned. Was it that bad that Eunah was so shaken like this? It must have been since Eunah went as far as calling him in the middle of the night, asking for his help, which she never did no matter how close they were. "Don't you have the key?"

                Again, Eunah shook her head, this time in dismay and her lips moved in silent curse to herself for not keeping at least a copy of key to Mir's bedroom. Her baby brother had insisted for his own privacy since years ago and who would have thought that agreeing to Mir's suggestion was a big mistake, at least that was what it seemed for her tonight.

                Seungho sighed, Eunah looked like she was about to break down. So, he tried again, despite half wishing he was in his own house, in his own room and on his own bed, sleeping by now, letting the sound of heavy rain and thunder rumbling on the dark sky to lull him into a deep sleep he really needed after long day of schedule. "Cheolyong-ah. It's hyung. Open the door."

                And then, there it was, the sound of crashing followed by Mir's voice. "Leave me alone!" The uncharacteristic harshness in the maknae's voice threw Seungho off his guard, making the leader almost taking a step back out of shock and slight fear. He never knew Mir having so much anger and hatred in his voice. He never knew Mir could sound so dangerous.

                "Cheolyong-ah. What is wrong? Open the door." Not missing a beat to finally hear her dongsaeng's voice, Eunah knocked on the door continuously in hoping Mir would just come out already or at least open the door for her to see his face, so this worries that was suffocating her could finally disperse. "Cheolyong-ah, please."

                "I said leave me alone! I don't need any of you. Just go away!"

                "Bang Cheolyong!" Seungho shouted sternly once he was out of his reverie. He took a hold on Eunah's shoulder, pulling her away from the door. He pitied the girl who was now crying openly for him to see. It must have been a big shock to her. Mir was never this way. The boy was kind, sweet, caring and gentle most of time and though the young lad never really express of his love towards his sisters through words, including Eunah, his action spoke for everything. And it must have been even harder for Eunah since the siblings' mother and oldest sister as well as the rest of the family who lived in this house has went back to Jansung for a few days to visit their father, leaving the two busy siblings in Seoul, leaving Eunah alone to deal with sudden changes of his baby brother.

                "Shut up the hell up!" Another loud crash from inside the room, sound like glass breaking, shattering into million pieces and later, Mir's angry cries tore across the room. "Just leave me alone!"

                "Open this door or I'll break it." Seungho warned, his voice raised even higher to ensure Mir he was not joking. He couldn't just stay still anymore. This was getting out of hands and it bothered him more than anything listening to the angry wail came from inside the locked room. He even started to question if it was really Mir behind the door, if it was really his sweet, adorable little puppy maknae. This was new to him. In the years he had known the MBLAQ maknae, this was the first he witnessed the young man losing it. Letting his blaring temper consumed everything around him including himself.

                As there was only silence and some muffled shuffling in the room after the wail died down, yet no sign of Mir opening the door, Seungho nodded to Eunah, silently asking permission to tear the door apart which Eunah just nodded back, hands hugging herself, fear intensified on what they would find behind the door. Taking a deep breath, Seungho took a few steps back and charging forward, crashing his right shoulder against the door. It hurt. Of course it hurt, but he didn't stop as he threw himself against the door for three times more when the door finally cracked open, flinging towards the wall and Seungho stumbled forward and inside the dark room. He first heard small gasp from Eunah before he lifted his head. He was not ready to face such view of this usually decently neat room belong to Mir.

                It was like the storm out there had hit Mir's room. The blanket was carelessly strewn all over the floor as well as the pillows and some plushy fans had given the MBLAQ maknae. Even Mir's precious collection of mangas were everywhere in the room, ripped and shredded. There was two spots of glittering shattered glasses on the floor most probably from picture frames and huge mirror used to hang on the side wall in the room. He saw all of that despite the darkness in the room thanks to the not so seldom lightning that split the dark night from outside and giving him enough light to illuminate the condition in this room, but Seungho hadn't been able to make out where Mir was in this quite spacey room.

                "Cheolyong?" Eunah called with cracked voice, hand patting at the wall beside her, trying to find the light switch but as just she was about to flicked on the light, an almost quiet whisper flooded around the room, freezing her in her track.

                "Don't."

                It was a low whisper, more towards a venomous hiss, causing both Seungho and Eunah to shudder at how dangerous the voice sound. Eunah obeyed and pulled back her hands away. Her wide eyes wandered around the room, looking for Mir when she finally saw dark silhouette moving slightly at the furthest corner of the room, half covered by the messy queen bed. Eunah stepped further inside the room and tugged on Seungho's jacket, tilting her chin slightly towards the moving shadow.

                Another lightning strike outside the building and the light came through the glass window. Both Seungho and Eunah gasped at the sight of a pair of dark orbs staring straight at them with pure anger and despise. They knew those orbs so well that they couldn't find it in themselves to believe in what they saw, to believe that these pair of hating eyes belong to Mir. No... Mir's eyes were soft, gentle and defined nothing but kindness and innocence but this time... This time they were different. Mir was different. Those orbs were reflection of anger. Those orbs looked so wild and sharp that they tore both Seungho's and Eunah's heart.

                Eunah felt her knees getting weaker and she almost dropped onto the floor if not for Seungho ushering her out of the room, back into the bright lighted living room. "I'll handle this." He said. Eunah was about to protest when she felt something was shoved into her hands. An Ipod. "I just made quite a number of new songs. Go into your room and listen to them. Now."

                Eunah was never more convinced that Seungho was really the MBLAQ leader other than now as she found herself nodding obediently and dragging her feet to her room, never turning back again, not even when she heard the sound of Mir's bedroom door closing.

                "Cheolyong." Seungho called Mir's name softly as he arranged slow steps towards the maknae, pausing here and there as he saw the shadow flinched and shrunk back as he was getting closer. Seungho swore his heart almost beat its way out of his chest. He was admittedly afraid. Scared of this Mir. Scared of those wild pair of eyes, watching him as if he was an enemy.

                "Why are you even here?" Mir hissed, scrambled from his fetal position on the floor to stand up, pressing his back against the wall, maneuvered his way so Seungho couldn't get closer to him.

                "Cheolyong. What happened?"

                Mir hissed like a viper at that question, jumping back when he felt Seungho was reaching out to him. "Don' touch me!" He seethed, trying to ran past Seungho but the older caught him by his waist almost easily despite the darkness surrounding him. He struggled, kicking and punching but he had to admit Seungho was stronger though he himself was not really that weak.

                Seungho wrestled Mir down by tripping the younger's flailing legs. Both men fall in a heap on the soft bed, fortunately, but Mir never stopped struggling, almost punching Seungho on his jaw but Seungho was faster as he docked away and grabbed tightly on both Mir's wrist, pinning the younger under him. "Hush... It's okay." He tried to sooth the burning fire under him. He swore Mir would have kill him if the younger got his chance just to get away from him.

                "Get off of me!" Mir shouted, voice raspy. He let out a yelp when Seungho pushed against his palms this time, pressing on the wounded flesh there.

                Seungho frowned as he felt sticky liquid once his own palms met Mir's. After almost fifteen minutes of struggling, Mir finally gave up and just let his hands fall limp on the bed, heaving tired breath. He was exhausted, physically and mentally. He didn't even tried to fight again when he felt Seungho pulling away from him, reaching over and switched on the bedside lamp finally giving some light in this darkness.

                Seungho inhaled sharp breath once he finally had the chance to see his dongsaeng under the light despite being a bit dim. "Cheolyong. What have you done to yourself?" He almost broke down seeing splotches of blood on Mir's pajama that came from Mir's wounded palms. Even his own hands were smeared with Mir's blood. He gathered Mir's wounded hands gently and pulled Mir to sit against the headboard while him facing the maknae. There were some small shreds of glasses in the wounds. It looked quite bad.

                "Why are you even here?" Mir asked again. His voice was tired and his eyes were droopy. He slumped against the headboard. "Why can't you just leave me alone?" His voice just merely above whisper.

                Seungho looked deep into Mir's distracted eyes. They still looked wild and still filled with darkness and anger but there was a small thing he managed to catch. There was a child-like fear in those orbs, reminding himself that this, was in fact Mir, his innocent little brother with a pure gold-like heart. "Cheolyong." He called out tenderly, tugging the hands that were still in his hold until Mir's almost limp figure finally in his embrace. He circled his hands around Mir, feeling the sudden strong instinct to protect this broken male despite Mir had been already a capable adult, not that he never had this kind of feeling when Mir was around. Always. But this time stronger than ever. "Tell me."

                "I can't." Was Mir's answer.

                "Please?"

                Mir shook his head. "Leave me alone, hyung. You shouldn't see me like this. No one should." Mir finally let out a defeat sigh.

                Seungho felt how Mir was pushing weakly against his chest but he wouldn't have any of that, so he wrapped his arms even tighter around Mir's small figure, heart clenching when he caught the sound of Mir's overly defensive hiss between gritted teeth.

                "Just leave me alone!" Mir started to struggle again but this time, his energy quickly depleted compared to the first time, he dropped his hands limped on his side, leaving only bloody handprints on his hyung's shirt.

                Seungho faltering slightly when he felt Mir's head dropped against his shoulder and warm wetnees seeped through the material of his clothing. Despite Mir's silence, he knew well Mir was crying. He the maknae's back, trying to sooth the man who now seemed like a boy and when he thought back, Mir's angry facade just now just reminded him of a cornered puppy. Hissing and showing anger just to defend himself, just to mask his fear. What was Mir fearing of?

                "Why didn't you just leave?" Mir asked in a small voice, letting only the rumbling thunder accompanied his silence.

                "Why would I?" Seungho asked back, feeling slightly uncomfortable with their position but still had no courage to let the maknae go for he was afraid the younger would shatter without him to hold the younger together.

                "Because I'm ugly."

                Seungho felt how the thunder strike and rattled his inside, his hand automatically stop rubbing the maknae's back. It wasn't the storm outside, it was Mir's words that acted like a strong bolt shocking him to numbness. "What are you even talking about?" He asked, dumbfounded.

                Mir sighed and pulled away, this time he didn't struggle so Seungho let his hold on the maknae loosened. "You don't understand anything, hyung. I want to be alone. I need to be alone." Mir scowled, the anger in his eyes still hadn't went away.

                "Cheolyong, you shouldn't be alone right now." Seungho tried, brushing a delicate finger on Mir's strayed hair. However, he pulled away when a bout of laughter escape Mir's lips. it wasn't Mir's usually delightful laugh, or his boyish rumbunctious laugh, not even his mischievous laugh. The laughter sounded dark and mocking.

                "I am always alone, hyung." Mir stood up from the bed, looking down on Seungho with sharp gaze. "Always."

                "But I'm here now." Seungho stood up as well, taking a step closer but Mir just moved away, creating even longer distance. "You just need to-"

                "Who the hell do you think you are?" At Mir's outburst, Seungho clamped his mouth shut. He was shocked enough by the new Mir he had to face tonight and now was even shaken as Mir spoke so rudely to him. "You don't have the right to interfere in my life when it has always been me alone. I don't need anyone! Not even you!" Mir now was pushing against Seungho, ignoring how he was hurting the older's heart as he tried to get the older out of his room, to get the older to leave him alone. "Get the hell out of here. I don't need you! You're just going to-"

                "Cheolyong!" Seungho panted, pushing back that now Mir was held against the wall, still trying vainly to push against Seungho with a growl.

                Mir only stopped when he looked up and locked eyes with Seungho's teary one, almost losing his balance. Seungho was almost never cry, at least not in front of him. Were those tears because of him? Had he hurt Seungho with his careless words? Mir's face contorted into pain as he felt stabbing sensation on his chest, making it hard for him to breath. He had gone and done it again. He had hurt his other hyung. Mir drew his eyes away and content just by looking at his own feet. This was the second time...

                Feeling Mir finally calmed down again, Seungho pulled Mir towards the bed, holding the younger close, innertly grateful that Mir stopped fighting and just followed his lead. He laid the maknae on the bed and lied after the younger, letting Mir's head rested on his arms. Maybe a night sleep would do a help on both of them though it was unlikely.

                "I'm sorry." Mir whispered, snuggling closer to Seungho after a long silence with them looking deep into each other's eyes, Seungho witnessing the anger, the hatred, the darkness slowly leaving Mir's wide eyes. Mir hid his face into Seungho's neck, breaking the eye contact.

                "I'll always forgive you." Seungho frowned when he felt Mir tensed up at his words. He tried to peer on Mir's face but Mir had already safely tucked under the crook of his neck.

                "He said the same thing too." Mir whispered again, so afraid to raise his voice again, too scared he might hurt Seungho again.

                "Who?" Seungho asked, hands caressing Mir's silky locks, finally relieved that Mir was calming down and was being... Well, Mir again though still not fully. Heaven knows how he wished to see his bouncy bright maknae once again and that this was all just a dream.

                "Byunghee hyung." Seungho hummed, encouraging Mir to continue with only his gentle gesture. "But he left."

                "It's not because of you. You know that. He's going to come back to us soon."

                Mir nodded. Now that he brought up GO, the night just a few months before recur in his mind as he remembered how he managed to hurt GO just like he did to Seungho tonight. He really couldn't comprehend how the two hyungs were so patient with him. If he was in their shoes, he was more than sure would just turn away from the ugliness that was him and ran as far away as he could, never coming back ever again. He was hoping he could run away from himself.

                "You miss him?" Seungho asked with a small smile despite the situation. He didn't need a verbal confirmation from the maknae. "I miss him too."

                Mir inhaled deeply before continuing. "He had seen this side of me. He was just like you. Why?"

                "Why what?"

                "Why wouldn't you two just run away from me after I show how ugly I can be?" Mir finally let out a broken sob, clinging on Seungho desperately. If before, he was pushing Seungho away, now he was afraid the older would walk away, leaving him in the darkness he had created by himself.

                "You're not ugly, Cheolyong. You are beautiful inside and out."

                Mir shook his head. "What you have seen tonight is the real me, hyung. There's anger inside me, ready to burn everyone around me."

                "But you haven't." Seungho stated confidently. "Cheolyong. Let me tell you something. Everyone has that dark place. Even me. It's not only you. I always scared that I might break you and Byunghee and other people around me if I let this ugly side of me emerge but then I just need to remind myself that the only way to control this is by having you guys by my side. And that, it's okay to let it out once in a while. That won't change who we are. I'm still your Seungho hyung. And you. You are still the same crazy maknae of mine."

                Mir let each and every word sunk in, appreciating each words, feeling the burden on his shoulders and tightness on his chest leaving him. Like that time when GO was in Seungho's place, trying to deal with this ugliness of him, he felt comforted. Seungho was right. He need them both.

                "It hurts, isn't it?" Mir asked again, voice child-like, revealing how vulnerable and fragile he was right now. "Will you stay even if I have hurt you?"

                Seungho chuckled, feeling the tension in the air loosened up. "I'm still here, am I?"

                "Will you always be here?"

                "Always, maknae. Now, sleep." He kept on caressing Mir's hair until he felt how Mir's breath steadied up and the maknae's arm was draped loosely on his waist. He pulled away slowly, making sure Mir didn't wake up at the move but it was hard since they were kind of tangled together so he gave up on his tries to move away and treated maknae's wounded hand and just let the sound of rain and Mir's soft snuffle lulled him to sleep. Before sleep completely taking over, he whispered into the silent night, "None of us is perfect."

                Both woke up quite late, and Mir realized his hands were already bandaged neatly and while Seungho was using his bathroom, he went into the kitchen where Eunah was standing by the stove, focusing on the breakfast. As their eyes met, his noona smiled brightly as if nothing happened last night, making Mir felt guilty for imposing such hurtful sight to his older sister. He had tried to contain the anger but he was just too weak and too consumed to do that.

                "Is the bandage too tight?" Eunah asked in concern.

                Mir shook his head. "Noona. Did I scare you?" He asked carefully, heart racing as he waited for the answer.

                Eunah smiled a sad smile as she walked towards Mir, taking Mir's bandaged hands into hers and left a delicate kiss on it, something she always done for Mir whenever this little brother of her had managed in getting hurt. "Always." She answered truthfully. "You're my only baby brother. I will always be scared for you."

                How could Mir not smile at that answer? Eunah's answer was like a cold water running down his scorching vessel, taming the wild fire and he felt somehow he was going to be fine. As long as he had these people who care about him. Who would never run when his dark side emerge, who would stay even if he hurt them, who would return even if he pushed them away. Because he was sure he would do exactly the same for them.