Chaewon shifted in her place uncomfortably. Behind her, Joongki had been staring intensely at her for minutes, she was well aware of it. At this rate, it was either his eyes popped out of its place first or a hole started to appear on her back.

"Are you going do that all day?" She asked.

Joongki realized how his action made her feel. Just, what could he do? He couldn't help his self. 

"What?" He asked back, feigning ignorance.

If he was going to act completely according to his way, she wouldn't be standing there with her back facing him. Would he really just leave her like that when it took so long for him to see her again?

Then, where would she be?

In his arms, of course, locked, tied. The weather outside and the air conditioner of her apartment were a perfect temperature for cuddling inside the blanket.

Then, what stopping him? Was he afraid to scare her?

Part of it, yes.

What scared him the most?

His own self, the thought of not being able to control his own self that he ended up doing things that would hurt her.

Chaewon knew he was pretending he didn't understand her question. If she confronted him about it, he would gladly swallow her into his game of teasing and jokes. He used to do it a lot, and she was sure he still kept that character even when the first digit of his age had changed again.

"You can use that energy to help me setting the table." She said, finalizing it was the only way to stop him from continuing.

He let out a sullen breath, knowing he was defeated even before the fight. She was chasing him, but how could he complain, since she was there in front of the stove, heating some side dishes for their lunch.

Even after years, Chaewon still had the ability to handle him. Like how she used to, in her calm tone. 

She let him roamed her small kitchen, peeking through her cabinets looking for necessary utensils while she put a finishing touch on the soup. He had wanted to bring her out, to a private restaurant nearby, but she didn't think eating out together would be a wise decision when it was only their first day together. So, she took the initiative to cook after knowing he had not had anything since morning. 

It was only a simple meal consisted of some vegetable soup, rolled eggs and some side dishes. 

"I'm sorry, these are all that I can serve." 

There was not much ingredient available in her fridge, also cooking other dishes would take a longer time. 

She felt sorry for only giving him that much, but he was overjoy at the fact that they were eating together for the first time.

"If you're sorry, then cook for me again."

Chaewon smiled, nodding at him.

"I will. Let's eat for now."

This was not bad at all, she thought, as she looked upon him. He was sitting there, smiling like a little kid. She was glad that the small thing she did make someone happy, and she liked the feeling she get seeing that bright expression on his face.

"I have something to tell you," she said midway through their meal. "I met Kwangsoo Oppa yesterday, and told him about our situation."

Joongki put his spoon down and focused on her. She was talking to him in a careful manner, looking hesitant.

"To tell you the truth, I had a hard time coming up with the decision. I was confused I needed different point of view, and I thought talking to him would help, since I heard that you are close to each other."

A disturbed look was plastered on his face as she kept talking. Was he mad, she pondered. Was he mad that she talked to his friend without asking his permission?

"What concerns you the most?"

The question he uttered surprised her. She had assumed he would be angry because she talked to his closest friend. She once had the experience with the guy she used to date. But, Joongki here, rather than disturbed at the fact she talked to Kwangsoo, was more concerned about the fact that it was hard for her to give him a chance.  

"There are many." She followed him in putting the spoon down.

Chaewon decided if she wanted to survive this relationship, she needed to be honest.

"I don't really know you and you don't really know me. I thought to myself, if I give this chance a go, then it would be the first time, having a relationship with someone I barely know. We spent months shooting the drama, but there were more works than personal conversation. Your professional side, I saw it enough for me to conclude that you are a great colleague, but outside of it, I'm not sure."

She stopped for a while, taking the time to breath and organizing her thoughts. Reaching the glass, she drank some water before going on.

"I read the articles about your upcoming project, and I asked Kwangsoo Oppa about it too. Only after that I understood why you told me that you didn't have much time. That makes one of my concern too. Will I survive having a relationship with this man who will barely has time to sleep? When we just started? When it is crucial to spend time together as often as we could so we can get to know each other more?"

When Chaewon lifted her head up, her gaze met his silent one. She couldn't read his expression, nor his mind. What was he thinking? Would he regret it? Because this woman in front of him had too many concerns. Because this woman's head was too complicated. Would he give up and left? Because as an actress her self, she understood how hard it was to start a new project, how big the burden was. And if anything, having a lover who added more to the concerns, wouldn't be any help at all.

"As I've said, I have seen only enough of your professional side. It goes the same to you, I'm sure. What you saw was Moon Chaewon's professional side, it was only a part of me as a human being. You said you fell for it, but, would you say the same when you get to see the whole me? Or rather the ordinary Moon Chaewon? To be honest, it's not like I completely have no feeling for you, if not, I wouldn't be spending time deliberating like that. I'm sure you are aware of it. That's why it's even harder for me to decide, whether this will be a good thing for us, or will we just end up giving scars to each other."

He waited for her to speak more, but she stopped after that and only stared at him with weary eyes. It was the time for him to voice his thoughts.

"I understand that this is overwhelming for you. Those things that disturbed you, concerns me too. I feel sorry that I have to leave you as soon as we start our relationship. It's hard for me to think that you are finally with me yet we will be apart from each other. And like you said, you have only seen a part of me, I too am worried whether you would like the other side of me. But, then, isn't it a part of being in a relationship? To find someone who will accept us as we are? And in the process of accepting each other, we need to learn to understand each other, isn't it? If we only start a relationship with someone who understand us completely, then we will have never start, because there is not a person like that in this whole world." 

Joongki leaned over her small dining table, reaching out his hand to her, with his palm opened upward.

"So, learn with me, let's learn together. Even if we hurt each other along the process, let's make sure we do our best to heal it too. How?"

Listening to him made her somewhat embarrased. She felt like a whiny kid, a childish one. He was right about everything. There were no relationship without obstacles and hard times in this world. Even family members sometimes did hurt each other. How could she did not think about it? 

On the other hand, she felt reassured. They were only one year apart but she could see no that he was still the older one. He seemed more cool headed and dependable than she thought.

"Yes, I guess that can do. Let's learn together." She finally replied, putting her hand on his waiting one.

Their relationship started off to the right direction, she concluded.

.

He helped her with the dishes afterwards. 

"This the least I can do since you've cooked for me," he said. 

The rest of the day, they spent talking with each other, catching up about their lives for the past three years. He asked her about the time she lived off the cameras and she told him about the personal things she enjoyed, the places she frequented and the close people around her. As she told her story, he would frown at the unfamiliar names and she explained each of who they were. When it was her turn to ask, he mostly talked about his military days, Kwangsoo, vacationing with Insung hyung,  Kwangsoo and Joohwan hyung, a little bit mention of his family, and more about Kwangsoo visiting or going for a drink with Kwangsoo.

Her lips spread into a wide tight smile as the silly thought descended in her mind; if she would have any rival in their relationship, Kwangsoo must be the first and upmost candidate.

The look plastered on her face turned Joongki puzzled. He wasn't talking about anything funny, but she was smiling.

"Why?" He asked.

She shook her head, but smiling even wider nonetheless.

"Hey, is there anything weird in my face?" he asked again since she had started chuckling.

He was going to rise from his seat to look at the mirror but she grabbed his hand and made him sit again.

"It's nothing, you look fine."

"Then why are behaving like this?"

Her eyes were gleaming like she was up to some mischief.

"It's really nothing, just sit here," she said, pulling him closer.

If he wasn't in the middle of doubting her right now, he would be really pleased to realize how close they were from each other. But he wasn't even aware of it. 

"It seems like Kwangsoo Oppa doesn't have a girlfriend?"

Joongki squinted his eyes at her. It was just strange. One moment she was smiling out of nothing, and now she was asking about Kwangsoo.

Clucking his tongue, he leaned deeper into the couch, still doubting her.

"He just got rejected again not too long ago, that poor thing. Why?"

Chaewon gave a slap on his shoulder at how he called him 'thing'.

"Hmmm...I see. Guess we have to set him on a date soon." 

He nodded in agreement, not knowing she was yet to finish her sentence, with something that would give him a ticklish feeling on top of it.

"Or else, I'm gonna have my boyfriend stolen by him all the time."

Joongki turned to her so fast only to be welcomed by her bashful look. He grabbed her wrist and looked at her amused. He never knew she could say something like that.

"Where did you learn such sweet line?" He asked, eyes full of glints.

"If you forget, I am someone who read many romance scripts," she answered, readying her self to his endless teases. She knew it from his expression.

Just, she was the one who forgot that they were no longer in the filming set. It only meant one thing, Joongki could forever, but also, he could do other thing more than teasing. 

The next thing she knew she was being pulled into his embrace, with his lips founding its way on hers.

.

Author's note :

Thank you for the endless interests.