There was something about his smile that made him stick around longer. He would never admit it, but he wanted it. He wanted the smile aimed at him for once. It was hard to put those thoughts into words, especially when the other male would never look at him like that. But the smile made him ache and he would never let it go. He saved it for the future.

                Then it all went downhill for him.

                “Hongbin and I are dating… We thought it be best that you all know now, before we tell the company…” His bright smile aimed straight at the person next to him.

                Hongbin’s eyes had widened and his face went into his hands before he moved to slowly stand next to his so-called boyfriend. Wonshik was absolutely glowing. And he wanted to just run. But he knew the leader wouldn’t have that. So he stayed and just glanced at his shirt.

                “Leo hyung!!”

                Weeks had passed and he didn’t show the feelings that he felt; envy, anger. But it was still there and he didn’t feel like talking to the couple much either. It made his heart race just having to see him smile at Hongbin.

                Turning, the elder glared and clutched his spoon tightly in his hand. Why was something so simple bothering him? He didn’t know how to answer it. Not yet anyways.

                “Oh… Are you not going out with the others?” Wonshik asked, raising a brow.

                Silence answered the question, as normal.

                “Want me to stay?”

                Ah, there came the aching in his chest. The want and need of that smile. But Taekwoon knew his spot better now than ever. But the silence stayed, so did the scowl, it only deepened.

                “Well, then… Guess I’ll go with them. Text if you want anything! Hak hyung said he was treating us… So I’ll get something to go for you!” Wonshik just smirked and threw up a V before racing towards his boyfriend who was by the door with Sanghyuk.

                Taekwoon sat in the chair facing the window. He watched the city set over the beautiful city of Seoul, and his heart was at peace for a while. He finished his cereal and then set the bowl onto the ground before leaning back in the chair. For some reason he had been feeling tired, so he closed his eyes and let himself fad for a little bit.

                “Hyung…... Hyung~…. Yah, Leo hyung!”

                The gentle rocking and low, stern voice woke him. He just groaned and let a sigh go before blinking at glancing at the face. It was glowing in the dark and he forced a hand to stay tucked between his legs. He couldn’t touch no matter how much he wanted him.

                “We all thought you had disappeared! Everyone already went to bed. I was going to wait for you to come back when I saw the bowl and saw you!” Wonshik grinned at him, his words honest, the concern obvious.

                A low groan rumbled in his throat before he slowly stood, just stretching and inching around the younger before heading towards the bathroom. He was stopped though, a hand wrapping tightly around his wrist, pulling him back roughly.

                Taekwoon tensed as he faced his junior.

                “Hakyeon hyung is worried about you. He wouldn’t admit it willingly but you forget that he sees more than the rest of us. He thought you would come with…. Talk to him? He wouldn’t admit it but I knew there was something wrong.”

                A few days passed before everyone but himself and Hakyeon were left alone. It made him tense but he knew that if he didn’t tell Hakyeon, there would be more problems.

                “Taekwoonie! Come help me make some ramyeon?” Hakyeon asked, poking his head into the bedroom, smiling that wonderful, motherly smile.

                He just nodded and stood, moving to yawn and follow him.

                They were in there for a few minutes before Taekwoon decided to break the horrible silence.

                “I love him.”

                “Hu-.. Oh…. I already knew that, Leo.”

                Eyes widening, the stoic male stopped stirring and he just watched him. That was all news to him and he wasn’t sure he liked it at all.

                “I’m sure that I’m the only one who noticed it. But you shut down. I’m starting to really worry. From then til now….” The leader laughed at himself and turned to look at his friend. “But you grew up stronger than you’re willing to admit. Can you just be Taekwoon again? This is a phase for Hongbin. Wonshik might be serious, but our Kongie isn’t like that. He’s testing his own feelings…. Give it some time and they will grow sick of their antics….. Wonshik hasn’t seen what’s in front of his eyes yet,” he explained then was cut off by the laughing of the four younger members, returning from the arcade and café.

                “Welcome home!!” Hakyeon called and turned to smile at Taekwoon again before they both went back to cooking.

                Leo didn’t understand what he meant. And he wasn’t sure he wanted to ask more.

                As predicted, after a night of drinking, Wonshik and Hongbin broke up. It had been a few months since he had chatted with Hakyeon, but he slowly returned to normal without anyone else noticing.

                Taekwoon had calmed his frayed nerves and just ignored the elephant in the room; the elephant only he could feel. But there was skinship again, and it was better than nothing.

                So as Wonshik and Hongbin came tripping in after a long night of drinking at the bar, they grinned and announced their end and Wonshik laid on the couch, Hongbin going into the bedroom, messily.

                For some reason, he had stayed up to just make sure they came home. So when Wonshik flopped next to him, the elder looked back from his chair and sighed. The rapper would regret that decision in the morning. But with no current schedule for the next day other than practice, he decided to leave him there.

                Standing, he went about his business, moving to grab a pillow and some heavy blankets, placing them over the already asleep Wonshik. It was nice. He hadn’t been able to do this a few months ago without possibly letting his feelings show. Now though, was different.

                He reached out and ran a hand through the soft black hair. He smiled.

                Taekwoon pulled away and then moved towards the bedroom, cursing the fact he had to sleep next to someone who smelt of booze. It was only his luck, of course. But just as he was turning off the lights, he swore he saw the eyes of his beloved staring at him from across the room.

                No one talked the next day. Because as soon as Hongbin awoke, he grabbed Sanghyuk and rushed to the café to disappear for the day. Hakyeon and Jaehwan went out shopping a little later and Taekwoon was left with the snoring junior on the couch.

                So he just closed the door and curled up for more sleep.

                He swore that it was only moments later that the door creaked open and a body flopped onto the mat behind him. It was so close he could feel the warmth radiating into his body. It made him shiver.

                “H-… Hyung.”

                He almost broke down right there. But Taekwoon was stronger and he knew that.

                “We broke up didn’t we, hyung?”

                Silence.

                “He said things that… That I didn’t know. That I…”

                Nothing could make him upset for their relationship. But the way that Wonshik’s heart broke as he spoke, he knew that his own feelings were not the matter.

                He turned and slowly engulfed him, pulling him tight to his chest, wrapping his arms around his toned figure. Then came the sobs. They were quiet at first, the tears only falling onto his bare chest with some slight movements. Then he got loud and the heartbreak was more evident.

                “I thought I loved him.”

                Those thoughts made Taekwoon completely shut down. His body grew tense and a hard shiver ran down his spine. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much, but it did and the feelings weren’t going anywhere.

                “He doesn’t like guys… He just wasn’t sure at first and thought that it was real and then he said he just.. It was all in his head. How? Hyung, how is it possible?! Why…”

                Somehow he gathered himself enough that he held him even tighter and nuzzled his face into his dark hair, letting out a deep sigh for the both of them.

                “Get some sleep.”

                His own words made Wonshik tense before he relaxed and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling their bodies together even closer than before. Legs tangled, arms tight. There was no moving now. In Taekwoon’s case he was just lucky they were both under a blanket already.

                “Goodnight hyung.”

                A gently hum resonated in the quiet room and he started to sing slowly, a small toon that would hopefully make him sleep. And as Taekwoon was drifting off into dream land, so was Wonshik. And somehow, it all made sense.

                Two weeks passed after that and their beloved rapper returned to normal. After being made to sit and talk with Hongbin, his mood shifted and the smiles were constant. For some reason, Taekwoon knew that he was him again.

                But the smiles started to be aimed at the elder. And he didn’t know how to handle them.

                So as Jaehwan supervised an arcade visit with the maknae line, Hakyeon and Taekwoon were able to just lay around and talk, again.

                “You see them too right?” Taekwoon asked cautiously, not wanting to fill his friend’s head with something else less obvious.

                “Yeah.”

                “Why?” The only question that was worth answering at that point. He couldn’t answer it himself, not yet.

                “Taekwoon, this time I don’t know. He won’t open up. He’s locked up tight. He won’t even say anything to Sanghyuk or Jaehwan. Wonshik is just-“

                “Are you talking about me?”

                Taekwoon’s head felt like it spun into a million different directions. The thought that he had been there since the start of the conversation scared him, but he wasn’t sure if those thoughts were correct.

                “Ah… Welcome back! Is everyone else here too?”

                “No. I decided to stay home and rest before practice. I had… I grabbed Leo hyung and I some lattes. I wanted to talk to him actually. But, what were you talking about before?”

                The thought of the latte was the first thing that popped into his head. So Taekwoon stood slowly and grabbed the cup from his non-dominant hand and moved, heading to the bedroom to escape. Wonshik took that as a cue and quickly followed.

                “Ever feel like you didn’t realize the thing that made your heart tick was standing in front of you?”

                He stopped. Why would he say something so serious as soon as he closed the door? So he didn’t answer. It was obvious to himself that he had been that way years ago, but now, it wasn’t so.

                “Hongbin talked to me in the elevator down and he said that it was obvious I couldn’t have fallen in love with him because I had already fallen in love with someone else.”

Taekwoon’s deathly grip around the latte felt like his only hold on the world. He believed that those words were meant for someone else. That the way he was confessing something so strong to him meant that it couldn’t be his own hopes.

                But he wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt. Because what if he actually was confessing? It was unlikely but it could happen.

                “When he said that, I didn’t know what to think. I sat in the lobby for a while actually. Then I went and grabbed us coffee from the café you really like in Hongdae…”

                He frowned. Hongdae? There? Of all places? That was not close at all. All for a little bit of coffee? And how had he remembered something so small? It had been a small piece of information that he had said months before hand.

                “Then it hit me. I figured out what it was all along that I wanted the most…” Wonshik paused and then moved, setting his coffee down before taking a step towards his hyung.

He could see him from the corner of his eye and he stepped back, tensing. His back hit the wall with a soft thud and he watched as his first love grew closer, hands placed on either side of his head, light against the wall. Taekwoon swallowed and then looked away, unsure.

                “You. You are who I love. And I won’t stop until I have you, Taekwoon.”

                The name made his eyes flicker upwards, slight annoyance radiating through his bones. But the smirk made it flood away.

                “And I can see it in your eyes too…. I can see everything. I just wish I had been able to figure it out before…” Wonshik grew angry, his hands clenching into fists, head dropping slightly, gaze breaking.

                And suddenly he grew confident.

                Lifting his hand, Leo pushed Wonshik’s head up and forward, making their lips slowly lock, the shock making him tense and heat. But that was it, a simple kiss, nothing more. So when he pulled back, he was surprised to see his eyes closed, mouth parted in a soft smile. Then Taekwoon was able to see his eyes more clearly.

                Beautiful. “Beautiful.”

He blushed and dropped his hand, looking away from him. That hadn’t meant to be said.

                “Finally, he talks.” Came the sly comment from his junior.

                Eyes flickering back up, he gave him a glare, though nothing too harsh.

“You have everything in the world. And yet you want me.”

                “Because somehow I don’t have everything. And I keep wanting more.”

                “Selfish.”

                “Only when it involves you.”

                “Selfish.”

                “Only when I can’t have you.”

                “Then have me.”

                A soft chuckle was all it took for Wonshik to capture his lips for a second time, this time more confidence behind the manner, arms moving to wrap around his waist, pulling their lower halves closer.

                I think I’m in love.