Too Long Till I Drown In Your Hands

Taemin feels energy filling up his system.

He feels his system start his processors but not all of them. Enough for him to be conscious this time but not enough for doing anything else.

He hears a yearning voice begging for him to wake up and open his eyes but he can't do it. He can't obey because he feels too weak. Simple tasks like opening his eyes or saying words seems impossible. He feels so weak, there's not enough energy to start his system fully, there's too much energy wasting on heating up the already overheated artificial skin. A few receptors of his frying as he tries to stay conscious.  Something is wrong with him but he isn't sure what it is.

"Please wake up!" A voice begs and it makes Taemin curious. The person sounds determined and hurt in the same time. A pair of hands slipping on his own, embracing with his hand and cooling the overheated skin down. It feels good, Taemin thinks.

He's  curious about the source of the voice but he can't open his eyes. He tries, he tries with all of his energy but he can't. He feels weak and he'd like to cry right here, right now because he's unable to do anything.

"Pull out his accumulator or else there'll be damages in his system. He's already overheating." A new voice tells, his words might be careless but his tone is clearly shows other. His voice drowns with sympathy.

"I know but-"

"Minho, do it. Or else, we'll have more damage we have to correct." The newer voice says patiently, now a bit closer than before.

The Minho named man, as Taemin can judge with his closed eyes and irregularly working system, sighs and tightens his grip on the boy's hand.

"I'm not giving up on you." Minho whispers lastly, voice a bit broken  and Taemin is sure these words burned into his memory. He needs to remember them.

Suddenly, there's no energy source in his body anymore and he falls asleep again.

*

Minho and Jinki.

Sometimes Kibum appears along with the two.

Sometimes it's only Minho.

Only Minho.

It's Minho who speaks to him so gently, yet his voice is full of sorrow. Who tells him beautiful memories, who rubs his hand or his cheeks, who's tone is so loving, so earnest. Taemin is curious at him since he has no memory of the other than the ones with his voice. He's also interested why he could save these data in him when he shouldn't be able to. Maybe they corrected his glitch.

Taemin wants to wake up but something is always wrong with him. He wants to see Minho, Jinki and Kibum- all of them. He wants to greet them and maybe scold Kibum that he's calling him the robot boy and toy.

(Even though Taemin is pretty sure Kibum is actually really kind because sometimes he begs for Taemin to wake up so Minho could be happy again. These times, he calls the boy by his name.)

There are times when Minho starts him, even if he knows he won't work. He told him that time to time- he misses the warmth the pink haired robot gives off. Then he'd sneak closer and rub Taemin's palms against his and he'd interlace their fingers.

It's nice, Taemin decides.

More than nice.

Like now, he's here and the robot boy can't open his eyes for God's sake and it frustrates the hell out of him. He can't move, he can't do anything. All he can do is sit here and listen to Minho.

"I shouldn't start you. Jinki told me not to since it can cause larger damages but it's not like you're okay either. It's just a little cheating. Don't tell him!" Minho laughs a bit while playing with the boy's lifeless fingers like a child. Taemin likes the sensation which comes with it. Suddenly the ticklish feeling from his fingers disappear but he hears a new noise, probably from a package.

"I bought you your favorite candy!" Minho beams, seemingly being all fluffy and happy today and Taemin can't be more than glad for it. Sometimes Minho can be so down, he'd be just sitting by Taemin and say nothing else.

"I know you don't hear me but talking to you calms me down. They say the people being in coma hear the others talking around them. Is it the same with you, hm? I'm curious." He turns back with playing with Taemin's fingers. "I think you may not. You're too energetic to stay like that. You'd find a way to work."

Taemin wants to cry out that he's here and he's hearing everything but he can't move. He can't talk. He's just here waiting for salvation.

He tries to gather all of his energy to make a move. Anything simple would make it even if it may cause him damages. He tries, tries hard but nothing. He can't find his artificial vocal cords. He can't move his fingers. He can't.

He can.

For a millisecond, he almost opened his eyes.

But then everything went black.

*

"I think we should overwrite his program. We already changed the memory card and the hard disk. We looked through the heating. We changed almost everything that is possible." Jinki sighs and takes down his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. They've been up for almost 48 hours now, trying to find any solution to wake up Taemin since Minho swears he saw the slightest flutter of eyelashes and they hold into it like a lifeline. It's the hope they wished for, for almost 6 years already.

Robotics develops rapidly- not too rapidly for Minho's taste. Thanks to the time they've spent on trying to fix Taemin and investigate repairing his parts, the duo quickly became the bests of the university and they'd got money to their developments. After graduating, they both got into the same company which is one of the bests in the field of robotics. Everything is going fine for them.

Except Taemin is still not here.

"There are infinite chance we can mess up and look over." Minho buries his face into his hands, feeling energized and tired in the same time. The too much coffee in his blood system isn't doing wonders to him. He looks over at his teammate, yawning and rubbing his eyes. "Go Jinki, sleep a bit. Taemin won't go anywhere."

"Are you sure?" Jinki asks but he's already heading towards the front door, ready to leave Minho and his robot in the labor of the company and go home to their shared apartment.

"I am." Minho nods, turning back to Taemin, investigating his opened back. The elder frowns at the sight- it always amazes him how deep is Minho's love toward the robot, it's no joke. It's been 6 years already but he's still trying. Still staying loyal to a lover who has only a limited chance to wake up again.

"You won't come?"

"I'll stay for a bit." Minho looks back at his friend and lets a tired smile spreading on his features. Jinki nods but he doesn't believe his cheerfulness. He hears Minho on the nights he thinks he can't be heard. He hears the soft crying- since for him, it's taking back the dead. Time can't heal his wounds because he sees the cause of his wounds every day, still unmoving, still unconscious.

Jinki sighs again but now he's taking his leave as well.

Minho stares at the front door for a while, giving himself time before he turns to Taemin. He watches the boy's soft features, slowly each by each. He's still as beautiful as ever. He walks closer to the robot boy and sits next to him.

"Six years. Six long, long years. It's been six years since I last saw your brown eyes." Minho lays his head on Taemin's shoulder, loving the warmth he gives off. "Six years is enough to make me lose hope. I know I shouldn't- but you told me to move on and not to cry. I'm not really good with promises, right? But maybe it's my time to fulfill my promises."

Please no.

"Since whom I want to joke with? Even if we can bring you back, and time goes by I'll get old but you'll stay young forever."

I don't care. Don't leave me.

"I loved you. I still do. But I'm not so sure anymore. I don't remember your voice anymore. I don't remember your smiling face. I can't recall a lot of our memories- see, human brain loses as much information as your memory did. You're here but you aren't really here, do you understand me?"

I do but I wish I don't.

"It's hard to stay like this. Alone, I mean. I miss you. On another note, I found someone who makes me happy. I'm not in love with him as I am with you but he's trying his best and I'm pretty sure I can grow to love him. I thought about telling Jinki to stop this altogether. I'm selfish, I know. But bringing up the remained memories of you every single day makes me sad."

No! Don't say it!

"So it's my goodbye, I think? Yours was six years ago, so I'm a little bit late." Minho's laughter is dry and it cracks so often it rather can be called as sobbing. He leans to the boy's face, breathing a kiss on his lips. He half expected Taemin to get alive and kiss back- but it's not a romance movie and Taemin isn't a human, his problems won't solve by a kiss. Minho sighs, taking a last mental picture of his lover. "Goodbye Taemin."

You said you won't give up.

*

"Minho! So you told me a few times that it's the so called Professor who had made Taemin. I looked up to robotics professors with dead brothers- just to tell you, it was pretty hard- and after tons of awkward telephone conversations, I can proudly say- I found him!" Kibum cheers with high pitched voice and Jinki watches the two from the two while leaning on the door with a huge smile displaying on his lips.

"Thanks Kibum, but it's no use anymore. I give up." Minho sighs, not looking at his friends in the eye. He knew this conversation will come up once after he can't lie about being sick anymore to avoid them.

"What?" Both of his friends yells in a higher voice than Minho's ears would approve. He doesn't like this. He wants to mop around and be miserable while ditching every human contract since he wants no one else, than a robot to be here.

"You can't just give up!"

"I understand you." Jinki says in an understanding tone and walks closer to his friends. "It must be tiring, right?"

Minho nods, waiting for what Jinki means. Does he have the slightest clue what he's going through? He may see him every day, he may hear him out whenever he's too deep into the sadness but he doesn't know everything. He doesn't understand him.

"But you can't give up now! We have the permission of the Professor. He'll make him alive again. You don't even have to wait much!"

"Yes? And what's the proof he can make him work? He built him and Taemin hardly worked for more than 5 years. We don't even know if he can even work anymore. And what if he wakes up? He'll live for a few years again? What if he gets ruined again and again?" Minho's anger grows by every sentence, he himself doesn't even understand the newfound emotion. "And also, he's a robot. Not a human. It's unnatural. I'll age while he doesn't. I'll die sooner or later and what will happen with him? Will he be thrown away as I found him?"

"Why are you so against it?" Kibum cracks out.

"I'm not against it. But when he almost opened his eyes, I've got scared. That even if he wakes up, we'll need to go through this once again. Saying our goodbyes again." Minho inhales slowly, feeling drained by the sudden outburst. "I love him. But I don't think I can go through this again."

The man buries his face into his palms, rubbing his eyes because the unshed tears sting his eyes. He's feeling selfish now because he makes the choice without asking the other two who supported and helped him through all these years without a word. He's making the choice of Taemin's life and it sounds unfair. Minho has a guess Taemin would like to stay with him.

(But it's out of the question, Taemin is still not here.)

He looks up tiredly, plastering a smile on his face to ease the suffocating atmosphere in the room. He wants to break the silence building up between them, yet he still feels like there's a wall between him and his two friends. He has no motivation nor energy to destroy those walls. He just wants them to calm down a bit with a white lie.

"I-I'll think it through, okay? I just- just need some time to think. Anyway, thanks guys!"

*

Minho turns and tosses in his bed, cold sweat hugging him and nightmares keeping up him. He moans into the silence of the room but he's sure it rather sounded like a cry for help. His brain has gone autopilot and it brings up memories he thought he's forgotten long ago.

Suddenly the picture of Taemin's smiling face pops up in his mind after whatever cheesy line left Minho's lips. He always wanted him to finish this habit but on those cutely pouting lips, a smile hid in them. When he thought Minho wasn't looking he smiled widely but bit down that smile quickly before it'd have got noticed.

Another picture appears of rosy cheeks and casted down eyes. It wasn't easy to make him blush just when Minho stared at him closely, adoring his features close-up. It was never enough though, there're still holes in his memory- there are some things he can't recall and it bugs him.

Minho rolls on his stomach and buries his head into his pillows, finding a bit comfort in the softness.

His noisy thoughts still bother him.

Was it okay?

Was it okay to give up on Taemin so close before the finish?

Was it okay to let him go?

But to be selfish, will he be okay from now on?

Now that he doesn't have Taemin to cling into. Now that Taemin won't come back to him, will he be okay? Living his days without thinking of the robot boy seems hard. Taemin is always in the center of his thoughts in some way. After 6 years, he still desperately wants to hold his attention on him but things aren't that easy.

("You aren't here with me.")

Minho pushes himself up on his elbows and searches for his mobile phone on the night table. It's hard to find in the darkness but he finally touches the metallic thing. He checks the time. 3:21AM. He types in his code and the phone lights up.

He's searching for something, something he forbidden himself to watch so it won't cause him pain more than needed.

A video. A video so simple, yet so precious. A video of the boy. Truth to be told, he has bunches on videos of Taemin but somehow this is his favorite. He can't name it why- he guesses, it reminds him of their love which is so effortless but so complicated in the same time. He finds the video but he just stares at the file for a good minute before opening it.

The opening image is Taemin sitting in front of the TV, playing with his favorite video game. He'd concentrated so much, first he didn't even notice the man approaching him while filming. He furrowed his eyebrows and bit down on his lips, then a smile tugged on them as he'd scored again.

"You're too good in this." Minho sighed, pretending to plying on his phone rather than filming the boy. Taemin looked up with a shameless smile, he'd liked dragging about his talent in video games.

"I know. I already doubled your highest scores." His smile was mischievous and his eyes lighted up playfully. Just the way Minho loved it. The pink haired boy knew exactly that Minho was close to get up and chase after him. But rather, Minho stayed calm.

"Good job!" Minho claimed.

"You're suspicious." Taemin narrowed his eyes and just now, he noticed the phone in Minho's hand. He jumped on his feet with eyes opened wide. "Hey! Are you filming me?"

"Uhm, no?" Minho took a few step back, ready to run away before Taemin would delete the video. He still doesn't know why a gorgeous creature like the robot boy didn't like to be filmed or photographed.

"You liar! Give that to me!" Taemin yelled and laughed in the same time. It was weird in the first place that he hadn't even tried to chase after Minho. He walked closer to Minho slowly with pouty lips. "Please give it to me! I won't delete it, I promise!"

"Why?" Minho suspiciously asked.

"Just give that to me." The begging puppy eyes are being shown and Minho laughs at it. So this color are Taemin's eyes. This video is a good reminder.

The picture is shaking which means they exchanged the phone.

"So tell me, why do you want to film me?" Minho hopped down on the couch while pulling up his eyebrows.

"I accidentally broke your laptop." Taemin blurts out hurriedly. "I just want to have evidence that you killed me."

"You broke my laptop?" Minho asked back, face hadn't showed any emotions. Taemin walked closer and sat next to the man. He secretly flipped the phone so both of their faces can be seen.

"Y-Yes. Sorry. You can hit me if you want." Taemin closed his eyes and held his cheeks out for punches. The old-Minho rolled his eyes at the boy's stupidity, his expression hadn't showed anything near to anger. The only thing he was mad for the things Taemin said. He never in his life would hit the robot boy. Never.

"Okay. Are you ready?" Minho asked while he was trying to push down a smile.

Taemin winced a little and nodded.

Minho leaned closer and kissed his cheeks with a wide smile for what Taemin opened his eyes wider than before but soon, on his own lips the same smile appeared and he nuzzled closer to the man.

"You're so stupid."

It's the end. Only a few minute- those videos and pictures that remained for him.

Even with the help of the video, he's still not sure what he does is right.

*

A few weeks passed since his choice about giving up on Taemin.

Yet, Minho can't help but buy a packet of those expensive candies Taemin loved when he's been doing his weekly shopping.

*

Arriving home, he's welcomed by the picture of the robot boy situated on his couch. Not living or anything. Likely, Kibum told Jinki to do so since it's their apartment. Jinki is being absent since a week- he fed Minho with a lie about being work related but they work together. Minho knows Jinki's working pattern.

Kibum, on the other hand, always had the talent to show up or do something when Minho is in a bad mood. But this, this is the best one so far.

He walks closer to Taemin only to find a little yellow sticky note on his forehead.

It's your last chance to change your mind- Kibum, Jinki

"Thanks s." Minho grunts out and he crunched the little note. He looks down at the flawless face of his lover. Still so beautiful and still so lifeless. Minho tears his gaze away. "W-Welcome home."

He waits, he himself doesn't know for what. A miracle, he supposes. Maybe that Taemin will just magically starts to work and talk back to him but no, he waits but none of these happens.

He sighs, trying to push down the disappointment building up in him.

(What was he waiting, really?)

Minho walks into the kitchen to pack away the things he bought when he catches a glimpse of the candies- he forgot about them on the way home. He takes out the package from the bag and goes back to the living room. The robot boy is still sitting on the couch, still not moving.

Minho lays the package on the other's lap, a tender smile appearing on his lips.

"Here! Your favorite." Minho murmurs, more than himself than to Taemin- he wouldn't answer after all. He just wants to pretend a little more before he makes Kibum and Jinki take away the boy from him tomorrow.

But the unthinkable happens and a hand creeps on Minho's own to make him stay close.

Minho looks up and find himself lost in the deep brown eyes of Taemin, he's been craving to see for years. The deep brown pools which despite being only lenses, being artificial they hold his emotions. It's like the whole word would fit in them but he still turns his gaze away from Minho.

"Thank you." The melodious voice says seriously.

"T-Taemin! W-what..." Minho gulps and rubs his eyes. Maybe the lack of sleep he's getting tricks his mind. "You're not here."

"I am."

"But before-"

"I was too afraid to move." Taemin says right away like reading in Minho's mind.

"B-But why are you here? How-"

"Before you start, please listen!" Taemin's eyes are staring at the ground, afraid to face with Minho even though he's dying to see his face he's been craving for in the last six years. "I-I heard you. All the while- when you started my system of course. I-I'm sorry f-for being such a burden for you for six years and I may not remember all of our memories but just by the despritions you gave, I think I-I really, really like you. Love you, even? So if I promise I won't ask for expensive candies and won't cause trouble to you- can I stay with you a little more?"

Minho is speechless.

It's so sudden. Taemin appeared out of the blue without any presage and Minho is trying to work up all these information threw to him. What should he feel now? He feels like he's drunk, the whole world is spinning around him.

Taemin takes the silence as a bad thing.

"Also, I heard you telling me that you give up. It was hard, right? I-I don't remember loving you in the past but leaning on the stories you told me before, you managed to make me fall in love with you three times. At the end, just with your voice and stories." The pink haired boy smiles softly, still not looking up. He doesn't have tears yet he feels so close to what humans call crying.

"Professor made me work again. He said you were close to the solution, too. He didn't want to let me go- he said, I was kidnapped from him and was searching for me all the while. But I wanted to meet you at least once in my life- or for the umpteenth time for you. I told him I'll go back to him if you don't want me. He even wished good luck."

"You gave up on me. I'll respect that. Just tell me to go. I want to hear that."

Taemin feels a hand sneaking up on the back of his neck and suddenly a pair of soft lips crash to his own pair. A deep and raw kiss, one which was held back years. A form of action to show the craving, the love, the pain, the feelings of these passed years.

Tears roll down on Minho's cheeks. All these things are still unbelievable but Taemin is in his hands, his cheeks heating up under his fingertips, his lips moist and soft, his eyes flutter close as the kiss continues.

Minho breaks the kiss and he leans his head on the other's shoulder to hide his tear filled eyes, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Please, stay."

"If you want me, I'll."

"I'm happy, you're back." Minho cracks out, nuzzling closer to the boy. The sweet scent of Taemin the softness of his skin, he's real. He feels the resonating feel of Taemin's giggle as he wraps his arms around the elder and pats his back.

"I won't leave anytime soon. I'm here."

an// I live off Disney rip-offs. Ladies and gentlemen, Big Hero 6. (yo, it became sadder than I intended to but at least it has a happy ending? oopsy. but I thought it'd be weird to be like angst to fluff real quick so I made it this way) + I honestly pray that none of the readers are into robotics because this is nonsense.

OKAY, so somehow I'm so attached to this storyline, I can't help but think about it a lot and there's a high chance to have a sequel for the sequel. //Someone shoot me//

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