i.

 

P R E S E N T   D A Y

 

Kyungsoo has time, but walks at an unusually fast pace.

Heavy rain pours over him just before he enters the coffee shop. He’s sweaty and partly drenched when he’s in, so he shrugs himself of his trench coat and hangs it over his arm.

He cups the back pocket of his pants to make sure he’s brought enough cash for a glass of brewed coffee. He pulls out a thousand won bill, but realizes that he’s short on five hundred for the cheapest drink.

Things could have been worse, but in the back of Kyungsoo’s head he can’t help but wonder if this is a sign for bad things about to come. 

For one, Kyungsoo always makes sure to have everything he needs before leaving his apartment, but forgets to bring both an umbrella and a wallet this morning.

It’s also uncommon for Kyungsoo is to wake up before his alarm, but ends up ten minutes early. 

This partly makes up for any hint of bad luck, other than the lanky barista at the cashier chatting up a customer.

Jongin isn’t aware of Kyungsoo’s arrival, leaving him at an advantage to use the remaining nine minutes of his time observing the barista from a fair distance.

He can’t count how many times he’s looked at Jongin without him noticing, let alone the numerous instances he’s seen him looking right back. Neither can he track the countless times he’s traced his slender figure with his eyes, remembering every inch of his body and memorizing every detail of his face as if he was something ethereal.

Kyungsoo does remember the last time he held Jongin and how he melted in his fingers each time he took things too far, the same way he crumbled under Jongin’s touch and would end up a hot mess together in dirtied sheets.

The familiarity of these things seemed like it was just yesterday, except that it’s been a week since Kyungsoo last saw Jongin, and if there is one thing he cannot get used to, it’s each time his heart skips a beat whenever his eyes turn into crescents, or the way his sinful lips curve into a genuine smile. It’s the unfamiliar feeling when Jongin leaves Kyungsoo’s apartment but always remembers to turn the lights off and lock the door, even if he knows he would do it himself after he’s left just to make sure.

There is no one quite like Jongin, and nothing more real than the feeling of butterflies in Kyungsoo’s stomach when he touches him in a way his hands couldn’t.

Five minutes pass when Jongin's gaze meets his, catching that heart wrenching smile across his face.

Damn it.

Jongin motions his head to an empty table and signals him to take a seat. He replies with a slight nod and obeys before heading to where he points and sits comfortably, with the window next to him casting the brightest rays of sunlight.

It takes a while for Jongin to finish orders, so Kyungsoo keeps to himself and rearranges the chairs inside the coffee shop. He does this every time, because it drives him crazy when people leave without properly putting them back in their place.

Jongin watches Kyungsoo return to his seat before approaching him, a smug smile plastered on his face and a coffee cup in his hand. He reaches across him as he sits with a casual greeting.

“I didn’t expect you to come so early.”

“You told me to drop by in the morning.”

“At seven a.m.? It’s not even a weekday,” He laughs, almost apologetic. “You could have made yourself breakfast at seven a.m. I’m sorry, I should have told you to come at a later time.”

“It’s no big deal.”

Of course it’s a big deal. Kyungsoo wouldn’t have come if Jongin hadn’t asked.

Jongin smiles.

“Coffee’s on me, then.”

Kyungsoo brings the cup to his mouth, about to take a sip when he asks, “Did you forget to put the creamer and the—“

“Brown sugar? No, I haven't forgotten.”

“Are you sure you didn't use white sugar?”

“I think I have a firm grasp of what brown sugar is.”

“Are you positive it’s bro—“

“Good lord, Kyungsoo,” Jongin answers, exasperated, “yes, I put the creamer and the creamer. Twice. Just drink the damn coffee.”

He sips slowly and peeks at Jongin who looks at him frustratedly, but with a certain admiration. He sets the coffee back down on the table and murmurs a soft, “Thanks.”

Jongin returns a satisfied grin, and Kyungsoo’s heart jumps.

There are moments when Kyungsoo looks into Jongin’s eyes and wonder how he sees him. If Kyungsoo had met someone similar to him, he wouldn’t know how to handle it. Except Jongin did.

It’s funny how these thoughts didn’t matter before. They shouldn’t matter, because Jongin is just someone Kyungsoo fooled around with, and he feels the same.

But Kyungsoo finds himself attached to Jongin. No one has to know.

“What are we doing here anyway?" Kyungsoo asks. "Quite a change in scenery, don't you think? Are we preparing for something dirty in the storage room today?”

"No," Jongin deadpans. "We're not doing anything else today other than talk. You know, like what normal people do."

“Talk about what exactly?”

“Well, for starters why don’t we start with, ’How are you?’”

I miss you.

Kyungsoo thinks of telling him this, and forgets that speaking comes after thinking on the spur of the moment.

Jongin reacts unexpectedly, a wave of shock slightly crossing his face.

“Oh.” Jongin says, at a loss for words. “Kyungsoo, I-“

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just…”

Kyungsoo waits for him to finish.

"I'm dating someone."

His face changes.

Kyungsoo doesn't recognize the feeling that comes after that. The news disgruntles him to a large extent, turning his mood completely upside down.

There’s an uncomfortable tension that rises in the atmosphere, along with his temper.

Kyungsoo feels like he’s about to choke someone, but tries to maintain his calm exterior and silently prays to himself that he doesn't act like a jerk.

“Wow. So, who’s the unlucky fool?”

He’s done trying.

Jongin pouts at him before answering. "His name is Oh Sehun. I met him at a bookstore sometime ago, and he's quite the catch mind you. I almost forgot about him until we met coincidentally at that bar near my place. Strange, isn’t it?”

He doesn’t know what to feel other than infuriated at the fact that it was okay for Jongin to blatantly tell him things as if he was talking to a brick wall.

“Am I that easy to forget?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you left me behind and just decided to fish for fresh bait.”

His abrupt tone catches Jongin by surprise, but finally senses the change in his demeanor.

“I don't understand why you're suddenly acting like such a prick right now," Jongin remarks. “But if you think that I'm seeing him just for , then you must be really stupid."

"You're the one putting words into my mouth, but since you're so keen on insisting that isn't the only reason why you're seeing him, then why waste your time?"

"What if I told you that I wanted more? That I wanted something more than just the physical burning desire? What if I wanted to actually connect with someone like Sehun?”

Kyungsoo sees red, spitting words as weapons to shield him from his aching chest.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!" Kyungsoo laughs at disbelief. “Have you ever thought about what he wants? How do you know this quite-a-catch-oh-sehun feels the exact same way?”

"I don't," Jongin answers. "I mean, I didn't even know what I wanted until you came along."

That shuts him up for a moment.

“What did you say?”

“It doesn’t matter. Look, I don’t know what’s gotten into that thick headed brain of yours, Kyungsoo, but this isn't how I pictured things to turn out. Of all people, I thought that--"

“That what? That I’d be glad that you found someone worth keeping, and that you can shove it to my face?”

"No, I-"

"That we can be friends? Well, guess what? That’s not going to happen. We don't have a relationship, Jongin. We only each other.”

Jongin recoils. He stands, not knowing what else to do but clench his fists in anger.

“My mistake, then,” Jongin says bitterly. “It’s my mistake for thinking we could be anything more than each other’s toys. But I know what I want. It's too bad I didn't see it in you.”

When Kyungsoo leaves the coffee shop, he doesn’t turn back to say goodbye.

He wonders how Jongin sees him in this moment, now that he’s pushed him away.

 

It’s funny how Kyungsoo didn’t care about Jongin, until he did.

 

 

 

T H R E E   M O N T H S   E A R L I E R

 

Kyungsoo was a routine person.

He woke up to his alarm set at ten a.m., opened the curtains, fixed the bed, and took a shower. He began work at eleven thirty, ate lunch, and continues work at one. By the time he finished working it was six or seven, sometimes even eight if he felt unsatisfied. He ate dinner, nightcapped to a round of beer and a five-minute read, then hit the sack at ten before another day approached.

This was the life Kyungsoo planned for himself. All he needed to do was make it through each day and follow its course.

There would always be unavoidable changes to Kyungsoo’s day, such as switching freelance jobs and rare nights out with friends, meaning just Chanyeol. He didn’t mind a few changes once in a while, but spontaneity was one thing Kyungsoo’s brain could not handle.

Just like that day.

Kyungsoo had planned to make himself coffee, except that the coffee machine had given up on him the minute he plugged it in and pulled it out before he could risk burning the whole building down.

He could have easily taken coffee off his list, but because caffeine had become a daily necessity that his body had gotten used to, he forced himself to change into better clothes and leave his unit for the grocery.

There was a close supermarket three blocks from where he lived, which took approximately ten minutes of walking. He took a left turn, and catches sight of a new coffee shop on the other side of the road.

It was small and unnoticeable, but its simplicity left Kyungsoo thinking.

He weighed his options. He could take another fifteen minutes to get to the supermarket for a pack of instant coffee, or he could cross the street in three minutes and purchase a cup of real brewed coffee.

The rustic white walls were the first thing Kyungsoo noticed. He looked around to find almost everything else in white, except some chairs, a few vintage decorations on display, and the cashier area.

Music played softly in the background as customers walked in and out while Kyungsoo remained standing at one corner, wondering if this was still a good idea.

First impressions were always formed through the basis of physical aspects. When people saw other people, the first thing they usually noticed are the good parts. But Kyungsoo saw the tiniest flaws: Strands of mousy unkempt hair left standing. The loose tuck of a polo behind ripped jeans. Milk and coffee stains on an apron.

He continued to lay eyes behind the cashier, and lost track of time.

Time found itself on sun kissed skin, face sculpted with a sharp jawline and full lips.

Time became deepset eyes staring into his own.

Something inside Kyungsoo ticked.

He was six minutes late, but time had seemed to stop and change everything.

At least momentarily.

 

I’m late.

Kyungsoo would have been only late by three.

He practically sprinted towards the cashier and didn't wait to take his order.

"I'll have a cup of brewed coffee, please. With some brown sugar. And some creamer."

Kyungsoo couldn't lose another five minutes. His eyes were on his hands as he quickly laid out the bills in front of him.

"Can I have your name?"

The barista’s voice was rich and sultry, but Kyungsoo fiddled with his fingers and tapped his feet.

"Kyungsoo."

"Okay, Kyungsoo. We only have white sugar. Is that alright?”

He glanced.

"I only take brown sugar."

"They're practically the same.”

"No, they're not. I only take brown sugar."

"Okay, then. Would you mind waiting at the side for your order?"

He looked up at eyes staring back.

"I can't waste anymore time."

"I'm sure you can." He challenged. "Besides, it looks like you don't have much of a choice."

Before Kyungsoo could react to what he'd just said, the barista had already disappeared into his workstation. Curious, he peeked through the gaps between the blenders and coffee machines on the walk to the end of the counter, gazing intently as the other returned short glances in the midst of making his coffee.

Huh.

Kyungsoo thought he was attractive. If only he wasn't so obnoxious.

"Excuse me?”

He stood in front of the counter when he looked up.

“What?”

“You were saying something just now.”

Oh.

Kyungsoo replied a quick ‘nothing’ and averted his gaze, but didn't miss the other’s lips as it turned upward.

He was distracting. and beautiful.

“Did you just say beautiful?”

There he goes again.

“I… Can I have my coffee now?”

He left the counter but returned seconds later with a beverage in his hand.

“You mean one cup of brewed coffee with some brown sugar, and some creamer?” He mocked.

Kyungsoo glared. He took the drink, but not without the light brush of their fingers and nerve endings igniting.

Kyungsoo lost his breath a bit when it happened, a quick two-seconder of fluttering feelings.

Maybe this was what people called connection.

“I thought you didn’t have brown sugar.”

“It was just an excuse.” The barista answered.

“Excuse for what?”

He continued to stare at Kyungsoo, eyes unwavering.

“For more time," He said, "to look at you.”

It caught him offguard, but didn’t let it get to his head.

He took a sip and shot another glance at the other before walking away, footsteps farther from him and a few steps closer to his everyday routine.

“Kim Jongin.”

Kyungsoo turned to the name’s owner.

“If ever that you're looking for more brown sugar,” He spoke timidly. “I can hook you up.”

There’s a small smile on Jongin’s smile when Kyungsoo gazed impassively.

He walked out the door without an answer.

Kyungsoo was outside when he’s about to take another sip, until he noticed the ink stain sticking to his thumb. He searched for the source of the ink and found it on the bottom of his cup, scribbled down in a name next to his own with digits below them.

He laughed to himself in disbelief.

There’s a rampage in his chest, a sudden feeling of excitement knowing this might not be the last time he would see Jongin's face.

 

 

 

P R E S E N T   D A Y

 

It's been clear from the very start.

The first time Kyungsoo had invited Jongin into his bedroom, he made it a point to set the record straight. There was no way he could afford to spend time on a committed relationship, and Jongin had agreed to it since the beginning: no rules and no obligations.

But Jongin kept coming back, and Kyungsoo forgot about the risk of falling. 

This is not falling.

Kyungsoo doesn't think about his face, doesn't remember his body or the way it felt over and under his own skin.

 The night is young and lonely in his apartment, but rejects Chanyeol's invitation for a night out at the bar with Baekhyun. 

There are no plans of leaving the house tonight, especially if it involves someone as the third wheel. A moment passes when the thought of Jongin and the possibility of being there sets in.

Kyungsoo does not think he's falling, but somewhere outside right now Jongin’s body is with somebody else.

He thinks It’s only natural to be curious.

 

*

 

He arrives at the bar twenty minutes later. The crowd is a mix of sweaty and intoxicated bodies surrounding the dancefloor. He wouldn’t dare to squeeze imself in at first glance, but takes a go at it.

He bumps into different people on the dancefloor, pushing through body after body as they dance around him until he makes it to the middle. Kyungsoo lasts three minutes inside the dance floor, but Chanyeol and Baekhyun are nowhere to be found.

Something else catches his eye.

Beneath the colorful lights is Jongin meters away, dancing and locking eyes with a stranger he assumes is Sehun. The music is loud but he can hear his heartbeat accelerate at an unhealthy speed.

Jongin is a beautiful mess among all the people there.

Kyungsoo doesn't stop looking at him, doesn't stop looking when Sehun reaches out and pulls Jongin close, bringing him into a heated kiss.

It doesn't help that Jongin only pulls him closer, as if it didn't matter that they were in a place full of people.

It's as if Kyungsoo didn't matter.

Everything hits him at once, forcing him to rush out of the dance floor and head for the bathroom.

Kyungsoo stares at his own reflection in the mirror, gripping tightly on the edges of the sink in front of him. He doesn’t know what else to feel except this building, intense jealousy inside of him that can’t be put out.

Jongin can’t see him this way. He refuses to let him see how this has affected him in a matter of seconds.

Only it shouldn't, because they were never really anything.

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and pulls himself together before opening the door.

He isn't prepared to see Jongin in front of him, with Sehun on his tail.

Jongin mirrors the same surprised look on Kyungsoo's face before breaking into a smile, as if they weren’t at each other’s throats just days ago.

Kyungsoo doesn’t give him time to speak as he leaves for the exit, walking away with the memory of his voice calling his name and his soul intertwining with somebody else.

 

 

T W O   M O N T H S   E A R L I E R

 

Nothing went according to plan when Jongin was present.

Jongin frustrated Kyungsoo in more ways than one but had no complaints. He takes what he wants then leaves like he should, while Kyungsoo provides a few minutes of his own time in return.

He liked to think that this was a ‘give and take’ kind of setup, and that's all there was to it.

Jongin was on Kyungsoo's schedule two times a week, but visited on days when he least expected him. He could either be making frequent appearances in front of his doorstep or dragging him to his house to take him on the carpeted floor.

It came as no surprise when Kyungsoo found Jongin in his apartment one day.

It's different when Jongin was actually inside, within the private space that he had properly settled in for three years and without his consent.

Jongin waited quietly on the couch dressed in nothing but boxers and a party hat, and although the message he sent out could have been ually reciprocated, Kyungsoo was busy worrying about all the cleaning he'd have to make.

"What the hell, Jongin?!" Kyungsoo yelled in panic.

"I didn't know you left, so I let myself in."

"Did you even think of calling me to ask?!” Kyungsoo inspected the open window near his office desk, before turning back to Jongin who stood and walked towards him. ”Don’t tell me you came in from the window. In just that.”

"Not really," He answered, "I used a key."

"You used my spare key?"

He rolled his eyes dramatically and stopped in front of him. "Even if I did, your predictable could have hid it somewhere else. But no, I used my own key."

Kyungsoo's jaw dropped.

"Are you saying you duplicated my spare key?! Jongin-"

Jongin answered with arms sneaking around his waist, pulling him close and lips that claimed his own.

He wanted to scream at Jongin, but his mouth had a way of keeping him quiet.

Kyungsoo was pressed to the door when a hand slid to the back of his jeans, cupping the firm muscle there and giving it a light squeeze. A soft moan escaped his lips and his hips rolled forward, causing friction to the material of jongin's boxers.

"If you think I'm letting you off the hook because of this, you're comepletely mistaken." Kyungsoo muttered against his lips.

Jongin pulled away but left enough space for their foreheads to align. His eyes were glowing brown orbs that gazed into his, as if it was his soul he was staring into.

Kyungsoo saw intention, laced with a little bit of something else.

"That's not what I think," Jongin answered quietly, a smirk pulling up from his face. "But I'm hoping some cake will."

Kyungsoo drew back.

"Wait, what?"

He pushed past Jongin in one quick movement, walking briskly to the kitchen with the other following behind. He stood in front of the refrigerator and opened it, pulling out a plain white box and setting it down on the countertop.

Jongin watched across the counter as Kyungsoo opened the box, revealing a round chocolate cake with a greeting written in red icing and candles sticking out on top.

Kyungsoo looked up at him in confusion but was only answered with a shrug.

“I like chocolate.” Jongin told him, “It was on display at some pastry shop I crossed.”

He was quiet, but waited for the other to continue talking.

“I went inside to check it out. They didn’t have any other size, but it looked so good. I got hungry and…”

Jongin averted his gaze for a moment, but turned back to him with a certain sincerity in his eyes.

“You were the first person that came to mind, so I came here as soon as I could and faked a birthday for you.”

Something didn't feel right. Kyungsoo didn't know if he should thank him for being generous or for thinking about him. 

A few seconds of silence filled the room as Jongin broke eye contact and Kyungsoo was left lost in his thoughts for a moment.

When Jongin arrived, he’s holding two things in his hand: an instax camera, and an extra party hat.

Kyungsoo registered the camera in his hand, pointing to it and asking, “Hey, is that my—“

Jongin reached forward, leaving no escape for Kyungsoo as he wore the party hat on his head.

Jongin pulled away to appreciate the work he’d done before taking a quick photo.

“Aren’t you the cutest?” Jongin grinned, pulling the instax print out of the camera to take a brief look. Kyungsoo could only glare.

Jongin lit each candle while Kyungsoo counted them, giving his own thoughts a rest.

“There we go.” Jongin said, “Happy fake birthday, Do Kyungsoo. Go ahead and make a wish.”

Kyungsoo didn't tell Jongin his birthday was four months ago, and that he never shared his birthday with anyone else.

Instead, he closed his eyes and blew the candles.

When Kyungsoo looked up there’s a smile in Jongin’s face, the stretch of lips on his face being nothing short of breathtaking.

“Thank you, I guess.” Kyungsoo said, “I’m twenty three, by the way. There’s twenty-two on the cake. Does that mean I can blow you now?”

 

 

Two hours later they were lying on the floor, breaking into fits of laughter with faces and bodies covered in cake.

Kyungsoo watched Jongin bop a tune as he mopped the floor, thinking maybe some things are better shared with someone else.

 

 

 

P R E S E N T   D A Y

 

Kyungsoo steps out from his apartment in the late afternoon to catch the sunset. He takes the fastest route and makes his way to the bus stop.

There’s a catch. To get to the park, that means he’ll have to cross the street and pass some shops along the way.

That also means one way or another, seeing Jongin will be anything but a conspiracy.

It only takes seven minutes for coincidence to smack him on the head with a glass door.

“Kyungsoo?”

He winces. There’s a quick sharp pain on the top of his head, but it’s Jongin’s voice that brings him back to reality.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know how long he’s been standing outside the coffee shop, but it’s too late to run away when Jongin asks, “What are you doing here?”

He wonders the same thing, about why he had let himself lose his head for a few minutes to result in a situation like this.

Jongin looks worryingly at him over the other side of the door.

“Are you alright?” He asks.

Kyungsoo thinks if it’s even necessary to ask him that question.

“I’m working on it.” Kyungsoo answers, unsure if he refers to the aching pain on his head or in his chest. “I’ll go.”

“You don’t have to.”

When Kyungsoo looks up, Jongin is already outside standing a foot away.

“You don’t have to keep leaving, Kyungsoo.” Jongin tells him. “Did you really think I wouldn’t notice how you kept running?”

He falls silent.

Jongin has a point, because all Kyungsoo did for the past few days was run away; it’s the only thing he knows best when things get complicated.

“I was about to leave anyway.” He says.

Jongin shouldn't look at Kyungsoo the way he does, especially not at this moment. He shouldn’t look at him like he wanted him.

He smiles almost defeatedly, but asks if he can come inside.

"You might have to bring an ice pack with you."

 

*

 

Kyungsoo does take an ice pack, but also leaves with Jongin.

If there is one thing Kyungsoo learned over the past few days, it's that he was still stubborn; Jongin comes and goes as he pleases, and that wasn't for him to decide. It never was.

He would have chosen to be alone today, but being with the other is something he deniably missed.

Kyungsoo clears his thoughts and proceeds to do the task at hand and take photos.

 

Minutes pass with shots of the outdoor sceneries, like the autumn leaves falling of a tree and the flowers blooming on the plants.

Kyungsoo takes a preview of the photos, eyeing them with an unsatisfied face.

There’s a limited number of subjects that he can use, except that there’s also Jongin sitting on a bench from a distance, gazing somewhere else.

Kyungsoo aims at him, holding the camera steady before the shutter clicks.

Jongin catches him by the fifth shot, eyes shifting and staring through the lens.

His heart quickens, feeling as if Jongin's eyes were meant to look into his own.

 

Jongin seeks his revenge at one point, snatching the camera away when Kyungsoo least expects it. He runs and clicks away, laughing triumphantly as candid shots of Kyungsoo begin to fill the camera.

"Give that back!" Kyungsoo yells while running after him, laughter soon following after.

Kyungsoo doesn't notice Jongin pause a foot away, and doesn’t notice the rock that causes him to stumble.

“Hey-“

Jongin pulls him forward, the gravity of the force causing his body to move close. His hands press against the other's chest, while hands slide across his waist.

Their eyes connect, and it’s as if time suspends all over again.

Kyungsoo can feel Jongin’s breath on his lips, with his own breath caught in his throat.

He doesn't understand the feelings that come to him because this is Jongin. He knows that he should be used to the proximity between them,  and that this is not the first time they’d been this close.

Yet any moment he can feel his legs give out beneath him, because this is Jongin.

Jongin releases him from his hold and hands him back his camera.

There's a brief look of question across Kyungsoo's face, but he chooses to say nothing else and tries to forget about the tension that had been there.

"Kyungsoo," Jongin says, gazing far behind him. "You might want to take this."

The sky is an array of pink, yellow, and orange as the sun drowns in the horizon, its rays of light glimmering in the fading of the clouds.

He had always thought the sunset looked beautiful even from afar, and doesn’t regret waiting the whole afternoon for a moment like this.

Kyungsoo turns to Jongin, and a new kind of awareness occurs to him.

The sunset on Jongin’s skin is blinding; the last of the day’s sunlight casting a warm glow that leaves Kyungsoo blown away.

His eyes are closed. Kyungsoo lifts the camera to shoot him, but misses the real subject that slowly disappears before him.

He’d been waiting for this moment.

 

*

 

"Do you remember that time I brought cake to your apartment?"

They were lying on their backs above the grass and gazing at stars when Jongin asks.

"You mean my fake birthday," Kyungsoo corrects him, ”What about it?"

"You never told me your wish."

He turns sideways. Jongin is lying on his side and staring expectantly at him.

Kyungsoo faces him.

"Well, it's not like you asked either."

That makes Jongin think.

"You're right," he says, propping an elbow below his head as he gazes intently. "Have you thought about it?"

He has.

Kyungsoo's thought about it since he blew the candles on his fake birthday. He's only ever had one wish since his real birthday, and all his other real birthdays.

"Why do you want to know?" Kyungsoo asks defensively.

Jongin shrugs. "I was just wondering about it."

"It's not a big deal. There are far more important things you can think about."

"I do have a few in mind."

"Like what?"

Their bodies lay facing each other, eyes unwavering.

A minute passes when Jongin lifts a hand and reaches for him, his fingers lingering on his face before softly pressing a thumb to the mole below his cheek.

Kyungsoo tenses.

"I wonder..." Jongin speaks quietly, tracing each mole he finds from his face to the hollow of his neck, “how I had memorized the moles on your body, and how they formed a constellation on your skin."

Kyungsoo draws in a slow and shallow breath as Jongin's touch starts a fire in his heart.

“Now that I think about it, the stars don’t seem too far away.”

He leans in just as Jongin pulls his hand away and shifts his positon, now gazing back into the night.

Jongin closes his eyes as he prepares for a yawn that breaks out from his mouth.

"Anyway," Jongin speaks with eyes still closed. "Aren't you going to tell me your wish?"

A comfortable silence fills the air and leaves Kyungsoo in his thoughts.

When Kyungsoo thinks about it, he's spent years doing every little thing perfectly, keeping everything in order and making sure time is used efficiently.

If people asked him why, he wouldn't be able to answer.

He didn't have dreams or goals either. Isn't it easier to just live in the world?

"I wish for purpose,” Kyungsoo says. “for contentment, and maybe happiness. I guess I'm a er for wishful thinking after all, aren't I?"

Kyungsoo glances to his right to see Jongin already asleep.

He laughs softly, staring quietly at the beautiful brunette in slumber.

"Good talk." Kyungsoo says, before drifting to sleep next to Jongin under the wide sweep of stars.

 

***