I was there, another fan in the crowd reaching my hand out so I could get a feel of what his hand would feel like while screaming out for his name. Hoping to be noticed by him.

But he never did.

Despite that, I still loved and cherish him. Having countless of sleepless night just by thinking about him, sometimes tweeting continuously if he had an award that is related to it, waiting for his group new MV to be uploaded. But will he know my efforts?

No he won't , but I still did it.

Why? Because I'm a fool but I won't admit it. Although I just somehow did. But it is more profound than that.

He is the reason for my happiness, a genuine reason for me to be happy. Simply watching him doing his antics is enough for a smile to reach my lips and makes me happy for the rest of the day. Hearing his voice is soothing enough for me while I bobbed my head. This feeling of calmness could never be reach if it wasn't for him. Easily getting hyped out everytime his song came out, singing along to every lyrics and it was enough. Enough to make me happy.

Whenever him and his group came on television, the butterflies just started erupting in my stomach causing all this excitement to rush inside. This is enough, I thought. Watching him like this is enough.

Then suddenly a dating news was announced and later on it is confirmed. Why do I feel disappointed? I want him to be happy and he is, but why? He gave me happiness and now he has found his. Am I selfish for not wanting him to date? Yes, I am.

He went on a date with her, he stared at with so much love, he cherished her. Everything that I've felt for him, he felt for the girl that he is dating. Am I happy? I'm trying to be. But why does being supportive suddenly become so hard? This is a thing that I does a lot, so why?

Little by little life comes knocking on the door as I grew up. Reality hits me hard and I know that it's enough, its time to moved on. Obsessing over a band would not earn me any money.

And so little by little I forget, each memories of him pushed away into the furthest corner of my brain. Locking them there securely. Every object that reminded me of him, I keep them in a box.

Only one day while I was watching television with my mom. A news appeared and you were in them.

You're getting married.

Sadness washing over me at the news but I put up a facade, calmly watching the rest of the interview with you and your wife. Why does it still hurt? I asked myself.

It doesn't matter because I had moved on since then. I'm also married now and had already given birth to two beautiful children and so did your wife.

Waiting for my children to be home from school, I decided to spare a little bit off my time alone by watching the television and you appeared once again.

A tribute?

Your wife was crying, she looked so broken and then the remote that I was holding fell onto my lap.

You passed away.

-The End-