I said I will be alright

Lie… I will never be alright…

“Do you want to stay at my home first Kyu? Or at our parents?” Ahra tapped Kyuhyun’s shoulder lightly while the latter was staring blankly at the stone in front of him, Kyuhyun looked up to find his sister’s face show real concern, Kyuhyun stood up and shook his head

“No thanks, I want to stay at my place as much as I can before his smell gone” Kyuhyun looked down on the stone again with ‘Lee Sungmin’ name written on it

“But…” Ahra almost crying again, it was really hard for her to see Sungmin passed away the day before but to see his younger brother in the edge of crumbling down like this was the worst

“It’s ok noona, I will be alright” Kyuhyun crouched down again to caress the tomb stone gently “I’m going home now Sungmin-ah” Kyuhyun bit his lips trying to hold any tears that wanted to escape from his eyes “will you be alright here alone?” Kyuhyun’s lips trembling while Ahra dropped down her tears while listening his brother talking to Sungmin’s tomb “will you be alright here without me here? Will you feel cold? Will you feel bored? Minnie-ah…” Kyuhyun’s tears dropped while he called up Sungmin’s nickname he adored the most “stay there safely ok? You are now the real angel… don’t be clumsy again ok?” Kyuhyun chuckled lightly while remembering those memories with Sungmin but his tears still couldn’t stop “I’ll be back anytime soon, so take care while I’m not here beside you ok?” Kyuhyun took a deep breath and stood up “I love you” Kyuhyun whispered gently and turned around, Ahra was crying silently behind him, Kyuhyun hugged her wanted to calm her down but instead he broke down on Ahra’s embrace “He’s gone noona… Sungmin is gone… forever…” Kyuhyun said in between his tears

Kyuhyun opened his apartment’s door quietly, it was raining outside, Sungmin’s favorite weather. Kyuhyun didn’t even bother to take off his suit and his shoes. All the tears he had shed since yesterday drain out his energy, he lied down on the sofa, their apartment indeed still smelled like Sungmin as if he hadn’t left him, Kyuhyun turned around on the sofa facing the table now, he found a sticky note on the top of it ‘it can’t be…’ Kyuhyun immediately reached for the note and read it “don’t ever think to sleep on the sofa Cho Kyuhyun, your back will ache on the next day and don’t forget to change your clothes first, you stink” if Sungmin was still around Kyuhyun would be laughing over the cute pink note but when he realized Sungmin wasn’t around anymore Kyuhyun’s laugh turned into a small ache on his heart. Kyuhyun stood up from the sofa and changed his clothes, he found another note inside his wardrobe “take out your clothes gently, don’t make a mess” Kyuhyun chuckled this time over Sungmin’s note, it felt like he still around and nagged at him for messing up his wardrobe all the time. Kyuhyun walked to the bathroom and found another note there “no matter how busy you are don’t forget to shave” Kyuhyun grinned suddenly remember that time when Sungmin refused to kiss him for a week because he forgot to shave.

Being excited over the notes, Kyuhyun walking around the apartment and found one by one the notes, it was on the shoe rack, store room, guest room, and even on his console game. Kyuhyun walked to the fridge to grab water and found another note there “I’ve taught you how to cook something simple didn’t I? now try to lessen up your fast food intake and try to cook by yourself, but most important thing is… don’t forget to eat, you always forget to eat whenever you are busy. Now that I’m not around I really scared you will fall sick because you forget to eat. Promise me Kyu, you will eat well and live well J” Kyuhyun tears dropped again over this note, he loved Sungmin’s food and now he wouldn’t have chance to eat it again, it will be different this time, no more Sungmin who wore his pink apron nagging at him to eat while holding his spatula, no more Sungmin who nag at him when Kyuhyun tried to steal the food while Sungmin still cooking, no more Sungmin who he could hug early in the morning when he was cooking, no more ‘good morning Kyu’ again from him and it was like dagger on his heart. Those memories he would keep forever.

Kyuhyun looked outside the window watching the rain, it felt colder than usual that day and he Sungmin wasn’t around for him to cuddle with. “Will I be ever alright?” Kyuhyun thought to himself, he had off his phone so no one would bother him with their sympathy because they didn’t know nobody could calm his mind other than Sungmin which was impossible “can I live without you min?” Kyuhyun let out his thoughts “it’s getting darker outside” suddenly thunder sound startled Kyuhyun “no way…” Kyuhyun ran outside with a coat on his hand “Sungmin… Sungmin…” he chanted Sungmin’s name like a prayer while he ran

“That bastard… I knew it he would come here again when thunder came” Eunhyuk clenched his fist tightly

“Hyuk… don’t be angry with him it just the first day” Donghae lightly hold Eunhyuk’s arm, Eunhyuk nodded and walked with his umbrella to Kyuhyun who looked like a lost boy trying to put a coat on Sungmin’s tomb stone

“Kyu…” Eunhyuk suddenly lost his ability to speak when he saw how fragile Kyuhyun was “let’s go home, he is safe now in the other world” Eunhyuk reassured Kyuhyun

“He… Sungmin… he… he hates thunder sound hyuk… he hates it so much, he can’t stand it. He will cry and he’s alone now, I can’t let him alone on during thunder storm like this” Kyuhyun turned around, his eyes was on hyuk’s but his mind was over Sungmin

“Kyu… he hated it. He couldn’t stand it. He’s gone now Kyu… to a better place and I doubt it will be raining over there” Eunhyuk tried to bring Kyuhyun back to reality

“He… he… gone hyuk…” Kyuhyun finally broke down, Eunhyuk hug Kyuhyun and caressed him silently, he knew no comfort words could comfort Kyuhyun back then, Eunhyuk realized Kyuhyun only wearing a t-shirt and he even only wearing his home slipper while running to the graveyard that was how big Kyuhyun’s love for Sungmin even when he had gone

“Yes Kyu… he is gone….” Eunhyuk choked up and hugged Kyuhyu trying to lessen his best friend’s pain “forever”

The Day God Took You Home

A million times, I’ve needed you

A million times I’ve cried, if love alone could have saved you

You never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still.

In my heart you hold a place, no one else can ever fill.

It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn’t go alone

Part of me went with you, the day God took you home.