At twenty, we imagine that the worst is over and everything that will follow will be perfect. I was thinking that too. I enjoyed living with my roommate, Jimin, and I thought everything was perfect in my life. But an event came disrupt everything.

I remember it perfectly. I was in the art room of the university, a brush in my hand to paint the features of a beautiful landscape. Jimin came beside me while my classmates looked at him with curiosity, knowing that he was able to do stupid things just to annoy me. But he did nothing that could be mean, his hand has just ventured into my hair to caress them gently.

I remained calm until he withdraws his hand, since a cry made me turn around. On the floor, we could see a handful of hair, and even some in my roommate's hand. With automatic reflex, I moved my hand on the back of my head, discovering that the fallen hair were mine.

« I'll take you to the hospital »

This is the only sentence that Jimin has managed to express before taking me to the hospital. The doctors were formal, I had a disease called Alopecia Areata. So I would lose my hair forever, and by handles. I was asked if I wanted injections in my scalp, these injections could help me to have hair again after a while. Without thinking of the consequences, I accepted, despite the worried look of Jimin.

But now I can't stand. I can not stand these horrible injections, I can not stand holes in my hair. It's because of this that I decided to lock myself in the bathroom for three hours. And the worst part is that I do not know how I'm going to tell all of that to Jimin. I'll look like a weak , confessing all this destroys me. And I hate to appear weak.

« I'm home, where are you? »

I gulped when I hear his voice through the thin door of my hiding place. I do not have the courage to face him, see his sad look will make me even weaker than I am.

« Answer me, Taehyung. Where are you ? »

With a small voice, quite low indeed, I tell him I'm in the bathroom. I hear his footsteps approach the door, and he clears his throat. I'm still not opening the door, and this must annoy him. He speaks to me again, understanding that I am determined to stay locked.

« Tell me what's wrong. You know I will insist until you talk. »

I then take the time to answer, despite my urge to cry.

« I can't stand that. I don't want to deal with injections again. Even with this treatment, I know that my hair always keep falling. So I do not want to endure that »

I don't know how he can react. But I know I'm at the end of my life, I fail everything. It is true that I miss spending my hands through my hair, but even with the treatment I could not do this again. So it's best to find another solution, before I am exhausted.

« I can ... shave your head ... »

When it's proposed by Jimin, this seems obvious. But I had not thought of this solution, probably because I found this particularly scary. But when it's his beautiful voice that said this, it becomes a good idea. So I finally opened the door, leaving him seeing my sad face. He my cheek to reassure me.

« Without hair, everything will be better. Okay ? »

He stands on tiptoe to kiss my forehead, then I give him the hair clippers so that he can rid myself of what makes me so sad. I feel his small hands on my scalp. Then I smile, sitting on a chair. The hum of the hair clippers is heard, and I see my hair gradually hitting the floor of the bathroom. Little by little, I began to feel freed.

When Jimin finished his work, he my skull and leave a kiss on it. I smile again. But one thing disturbs me, what people will think when they will see me tomorrow. People have a tendency to judge easily, I quickly noticed that since a lot of years. That old saying, how you should sleep on it before you make your decision, so I'll go to bed and I'll see what happens tomorrow.

I walk quietly in the university's art room, same time removing my black beanie. I tremble a bit, fearing the look of others. Everyone turns to me, and some judge me. My fingers press my cap while I bite my lower lip nervously. I can't stay here one more second, it's impossible, I can't deal with all those looks. So without even trying to understand, I start to run out of the room that saw the birth of my finest paintings. I run towards the dance hall, the one where the young dancers train for the competition of the end of the year.

I softly enter into the hall, tears in my eyes. Without thinking, I head to Jimin and takes him in my arms. He my back hoping to comfort me.

« They looked at me with disgust... I saw mercy in their eyes... »

He my head gently while listening to me complaining. Then I hear his little voice resonate close to my ears.

« Just ignore it. You are the most handsome man of the university. »

I step back a bit to be able to see Jimin. He gently stands on tiptoe while laying his small hands on my shoulders. I look at him attentively, and he approaches his lips to mine. I let him kiss me, as if I had dreamed of this for years. I put my hands on his hips to encourage him to continue. A throat clearing interrupts us. I step back a bit and turn my head, seeing Yungi. He goes to us with a smile, then he gently my head.

« I heard that you suddenly left the art room. What happened ? »

I swallow my saliva with difficulty, squeezing my tee-shirt between my fingers. Seeing his stare, I decided to respond.

« I saw pity in their eyes ... it destroyed me ... »

« And if you have badly seen ? Maybe it's your imagination. »

I shake my head, convinced that I am right. I was going to talk again, but a young girl enters the room. This is Haneul, the mute girl from my class. She hands me a paper, and I just take it gently. I read the paper aloud, so that everyone can hear.

« Kim Taehyung will be a candidate at the university's competitions. He will have to propose a work that really makes sense. The judges will be very strict during the presentation. »

I think I would have liked to not be a candidate. I have no work to present. And I don't think the judges will be happy to see me coming with my hands in my pockets. They'll probably take me for a rebel with my shaved head.

Finally, I decide to say goodbye to everyone, and then I go home. Once in the apartment, I removed my shoes and settle down at my desk, ready to draw. I try to draw all sorts of things, but it does not work. All the drawings quickly end up in the trash.

In the evening, I hear the front door be opened, and Jimin appears close to me. He my head while watching what I draw. He is close to my face and whisper in my ear.

« Taehyung ... You know ... Your shaved head really suits you, you are beautiful like that. »

I pull him towards me while smiling, and I ruffle his hair. His presence makes me happy, but I stress so much for the competition. But for a moment I forget, concentrating on the smiling face of my roommate. Should I say "my boyfriend"? I don't know...

« Jimin ... Are you my boyfriend now? »

« Yes. You should not ask. Idiot. »

He kisses me chastely and gently, putting his arms around my neck. I let him do, while being in my thoughts, imagining over and over what I could draw. Jimin takes one of my felt pen and draws on my forehead. I let him do, being afraid of the result.

« The disease doesn't kill love, always remember that. »

After his sentence, I look in the mirror. On my forehead it's written « LOVE ». I carefully observes our reflection in the mirror; Jimin is beside me with a big smile. We can see that the felt pen is still in his right hand. That's what I should show at the competition. Keeping my boyfriend on my thighs, I began to draw us.

Around midnight, my head starts to make me suffer. It must probably remind me that I did not get injections for a while. I lie down on my bed, groaning in pain, clutching my head between my hands. Tears of pain running down my round cheeks, but I calm myself with Jimin's comforting caress. I find sleep after crying a while. I have not even finished my painting while the competition is tomorrow.

The next day I wake up with a start, quickly pulling on my shoes and wearing a coat. Luckily I slept dressed. I grab my painting and go running to the place where the competition takes place. Of course I did not think to erase the drawing of Jimin on my forehead, and I have not taken the time to put a cap on my head. I hurry to go to the place of the appointment, also forgetting that I have not finished my painting last night.

I arrive in front of the jury, completely out of breath. They judge me while looking at me, but I ignore them and removes the tissue that protected my painting. With surprise, I see that the drawing is done, and I recognize Jimin's way of drawing. I smile stupidly and present my work.

« I wanted to represent love. Proving that even when a disease changes us, love is still there. Even when we are destroyed, there is always someone to help us to move forward. And if you're not convinced, remember the good times you spent with people you loke. »

I lean over politely, then I take my painting to go home, leaving the other candidates go in front of the jury. I don't know if they liked my work, and I don't feel the need to know. All I want is to be in Jimin's arms. In the end, he will always be there for me, and I would never have supported my disease if he had not been there. And if one day someone asks me what helped me to move forward, I would answer without hesitation that it's love.