Sitting in an awkwardly silent car with an extremely anxious Jinki in the passenger’s seat and a spaced-out, annoyed Kibum in the back seat was certainly not the way Jonghyun intended to spend his Saturday night. The lights of downtown whizzed by outside the windows and were reflected in swirling, bubbly shapes on the glass, providing a numbing, calming feeling despite the dire circumstances.

    About twenty minutes earlier, Jinki was invited inside and had explained the whole situation from start to finish.

    “Soomin killed herself,” he mumbled, sitting in a guarded position on the couch. “Uh-- in her own house, she shot herself… no one knows why, but we can’t question her--”

    “No, really?” Kibum shot back.

    “Shh-- anyways, I was at the DA’s office, getting copies of the newest case files and whatever, and the forms don’t lie… There’s no pictures or anything yet, but there’s a report, and a really basic medical evaluation from when she died… She was alone in her house, and they’re going to trace where the gun came from, I think, and do an autopsy…”

    Jinki shakily commanded that they needed to get the others immediately and talk about what happened (to which Kibum protested that “she’s not going anywhere, so why do we have to do it now,” resulting in Jinki physically pushing him, in a rush toward the door). Jonghyun, still shocked by everything that was happening, followed the others and ended up in his car, driving towards Taemin’s workplace.

    Jinki, when they’d first gotten in the car, complained in a series of hardly-comprehensible mumbles that neither Taemin or Minho were picking up their phones. He decided that Jonghyun ought to drive to Taemin’s hotel because he claimed to be working the weekends. Kibum gave up on his protests and contemplated in the back seat. And then, all was silent.

Jonghyun always liked the lights of the city at night. The way they glittered and, though bright and beautiful, had an aura of promiscuous temptations and the constant consumerism of a modern metropolis. The winter air threatened frost on his windows and suggested the possibility of snow. The first snow of the year. He nearly smiled at the thought of that – seeing the first snowflakes fall with Kibum. And, apparently, Jinki.

His romantic fantasies crumbled.

The hotel came into view, a large and modern building with a valet and a fountain outside the front doors, creating the illusion of a courtyard. Cool colored lights and large glass windows decorated the front of the building, shimmering and almost taunting the three poor, tired students trudging out of Jonghyun’s rusty car.

“I kinda didn't expect it to be this… ritzy…” Kibum muttered, his gaze fixed on the entrance-way’s glimmering chandelier.

“Yeah, really, that kid must have connections,” Jinki stares at the building, his tired eyes scanning the architecture for flaws, but finding none.

“You sure this is the right place?” Jonghyun asked, looking up in awe just like the other two.

“Mhm, this is the Equity.”

Walking through the doors, the boys were met by a chic and modern lobby with a granite floor and bright blue waiting chairs and couches. A table with a sign saying “reception” overtop sat in the center of the room. Behind that were sleek metallic elevators.

The entire gigantic, brilliant room was silent and empty.

“Maybe he lied?” Jonghyun scratched the back of his head confusedly and looked around for any evidence of human life. Kibum nodded, wandering the room and examining any interesting item he came across. Jinki walked slowly in the other direction, toward the glass doors on the right side of the room. He continued towards them until he was just in front of the glass and then froze, eyes wide.

“You find something?” Jonghyun asked, approaching him. The only response he received was an indistinguishable mumble. Kibum strode over to the doors as well glancing first at the sign above them reading “Customer Service.”

He froze as well. Then Jonghyun noticed what the commotion was about.

“Holy .”

Jonghyun thought about what miracle it was that it was the three of them and not any random hotel guests. There was Taemin, long hair tied into a mussed faux bun, his white button-up employee’s clothes crumpled and untucked, and his thin legs straddling Minho’s on the room’s single office chair. Taemin’s face was thoroughly flushed, and he didn't leave much to the imagination with the way he used his lips and tongue. Though there wasn't anything else happening besides passionate and obvious making out, it really was a sight to behold. More than anything, to Jonghyun, it just sparked jealousy in the fact that meek, awkward Taemin was able to claim the person he wanted before Jonghyun could. It made him wonder what was stopping him at this point, but like always, he shrugged that thought off and decided to attend to it later.

Jinki looked at the other two outside of the glass for some form of understanding, his expression as if he’d just seen a ghost.

“What do we–?I mean, what do we? How do we–” he fumbled, looking at the ground and furrowing his brows at his lack of words to form a sentence.

“Disentangle them?” Jonghyun responded blankly.

“Yes, that.”

Jinki looked back up, about to begin some kind of plan on how to deal with the situation at hand, but stopped abruptly. Kibum, who had been previously ogling-turned-glaring through the glass, stomped forwards in his loud, clicking black boots, and threw open the glass doors.

Everyone froze, including the two inside the glass.

“TAEMIN-AH, DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS THIS IS?” Kibum scolded, loudly causing Taemin to jump slightly in his seat and then watch with wide, intimidated eyes. Minho did the same, but with sheer terror– which wasn't an understatement because Kibum was fuming with anger. Kibum then dropped his accusing finger, an eyebrow raising in newfound confusion.

“Minho?”

“Y-yeah?”

“I thought you were straight,” Kibum dropped his arm and put a hand on his hip, still looking intimidating as ever, but more lost than angry. Minho raised a finger and gave a small, daring smile.

“You assumed that, Kibum.”

“Oh, off.” Kibum rolled his eyes and walked closer to the desk. Taemin analyzed the whole scene with caution – from Kibum approaching him to the two boys hiding dumbly behind glass.

“Taemin,” Kibum started staring accusingly at the youngest, “I know you're young, but you have to know how dumb doing this here is, don't you? Let alone with this meathead–”

“I’m right here,” Minho started.

“I know. Anyways, you're gonna get yourself hurt like this, you know that? Don't be stupid, because you're not stupid. Or are you just an exibitionist?”

Taemin quickly perked up in defense at the accusation.

“N-no?”

“Well, I mean–” Minho started again, but was cut off by Taemin holding a hand over his mouth and glaring down at him in annoyance.

“Ugh, god you’ve slept together, haven't you?” Kibum muttered. “When do you even find the time…”

Finally, Jinki shuffled into the room and stopped the conversation short, bringing things back to reality. He coughed awkwardly.

“Um, I actually gathered all of us to talk about something important, so unless you want to do that here– Taemin, can you get off work?”

Taemin unstraddled the seat, but continued to sit on Minho’s lap, legs falling over one side of the seat. He shrugged absentmindedly.

“I got off about fifteen minutes ago, so it’s fine. Plus, I’m working customer service instead of lobby today and no one comes in here.”

“Well you certainly serviced one customer,” Jonghyun joked, and Kibum slapped his arm. Minho cracked a smile but quickly looked away in fear of Kibum’s ever-pointed glare at him.

“Come on, let’s go,” Kibum pointed with a thumb towards the door, “who lives the closest?”

“Uh, me, I think, but I live with my parents and I don't really wanna… Deal with that,” Minho answered quietly, running a stuttered hand through his dark hair.

Kibum scoffed, rolling his eyes for the hundredth time that night.

“Wow– Worried they’ll see the hickeys and red lines down your back?”

“Hey,” Jinki warned, “do you really want to go there Kibum? The whole ‘parents finding out you're gay’ scene? I don't think so, so stop your dumb bickering.”

Everyone went quiet with that, and Kibum looked at the floor as if he’d been punched in the gut. He turned his head, frowning, then walked to the other side of the room, sitting in an office chair. Crossing his legs, he stayed quiet.

Finally breaking the long silence, Taemin coughed.

“Uh, I think I’m second closest then… I live lest west of downtown… Over by the mall,” he remarked quietly. “I have two roommates but they're probably not home on a Saturday night.”

Jinki nodded, and the rest of the room fell silent again. The overbearing tension felt almost tangible. Jonghyun knew very well that Kibum was the one who caused it in the first place, but also had the overwhelming urge to comfort him– the kicked-up dust of his past memories clouding right in his face due to Jinki’s harsh words. He’d had it coming, sure, but nonetheless it was obvious that saying things like that brought up things best left undisturbed in the back of his mind.

Jonghyun waited until they were outside, walking towards where he’d parked the car to make any sort of action regarding the incident. Even the way Kibum walked was less energetic, and far more lethargic than before, his head turned towards the ground rather than examining the tall, chic buildings. Taking a risk, as he was right by three other people, Jonghyun took his hand and gave him a look of simple, caring sympathy. In return, Kibum gave a small smile in return and held his hand a little tighter, letting his eyes linger for a moment longer than they should.

--

Taemin’s apartment was a strange place.

Jonghyun knew that he lived with two other boys, one younger than him and the other a mystery, but that didn't account for the weird, scatterbrained layout of the place. There were a few small rooms, and one large main room in which there was a television and two couches placed in awkward positions in front of the screen. Though the place was cluttered and strangely designed, with furniture sitting in places they didn't seem to belong, there wasn't a hint of trashiness– no wrappers, bottles, left-out food… Only simple material objects, such as papers and books and clothing.

The center room wasn't as cluttered as the rest, and Jonghyun assumed this was because this was where company was held usually. Taemin sat on the floor, leaving Jinki and Minho on one couch, Kibum and Jonghyun on the other.

As soon as Jinki explained was was going on, a billion ideas floated around the room.  

“What if she killed herself because she couldn't deal with the guilt of killing two people?” Taemin suggested, perking up to his typical confident self. “That seems like the most obvious answer.”

“The most obvious, yeah, but not necessarily right,” Jinki added, causing Taemin to frown in disappointment.

“Then it could be the other way around: she kills herself because she’s so devastated by her husband’s death,” Minho said haphazardly, sitting as far back on the chair as he could.

“Did she look very devastated to you?” Jonghyun pointed out.

“Touché.”

“Alright,” Kibum finally joined in, speaking for the first time since they were in Taemin’s hotel, “what if she killed herself out of guilt– because her reason for killing the two ended up being phony.”

Jonghyun and Minho looked blankly at him, not understanding a word he was saying. Taemin contemplated it, and Jinki turned his head from the group to look at the wall, seemingly in deep thought.

“I’ll elaborate, Kibum sighed, crossing his legs daintily and leaning forwards. “Soomin hears that her husband is having an affair with Jungah, and then the tapes show her talking to employees which could be her trying to validate what she’d heard without her husband knowing she was even at the office. She finds evidence somehow– or just, finally is so fed up with it all that she murders them both. Afterward, she finds out they weren’t having an affair, or rather, weren’t having an affair with each other– and the guilt of her mistake drives her to suicide.”

Kibum finished, looking hesitantly around the room for any hint of approval. The others tried to process it all, looking for any cracks in the theory. The only one without wide, thoughtful eyes was Jinki, still looking towards the wall. This was interesting, somehow, to Jonghyun. He kept his eyes on Jinki, monitoring the suspicious way he drummed his fingers on the arm of the couch, and the way he seemed to be thinking, yet not making eye contact. Still, it was too early in the conversation to point out his strange behavior. Jonghyun also pointed out to himself that Jinki was basically the king of strange, guarded behavior, and that this was how he acted most of the time anyways, just not to such an extreme.

Taemin adjusted his sitting position on the floor, folding his legs in and sitting cross-legged. He seemed above all else overwhelmed, yet interested, his eyes with that excited, mischievous gleam.

“That makes sense to me,” Taemin stated, rather blankly, batting his eyelashes unintentionally.

“It does, but there’s no evidence.” Minho leaned onto the armrest, a tired, spent look on his youthful features. He spoke in a low monotone, obviously wanting to finish what they needed to do and leave. Frankly, Jonghyun didn’t blame him, it was close to midnight at this point and though they were close to a solution, the day had been hectic and exhausting.

    Finally, Jinki turned his head back towards the group, a weird, small, sheepish smile on his lips. Jonghyun, who’d been observing him like a zoo animal the entire time they’d been at Taemin’s, was taken aback by this unexpected turn of emotions.

    “I know what happened,” Jinki stated matter of factly, a smile still on his face that more than creeped everyone else out.

    “...Yeah?” Kibum mumbled, waiting with everyone else for Jinki to elaborate.

    Jinki moved a piece of his thick brown hair out of his eyes, looking from person to person. His smile faded, replaced with a hint of guilt.

    “I probably should have told you this before, but I was worried you’d all be like… You know when you do group projects and one person seems to know more about the topic than the rest and so everyone leaves it up to them and don’t do any work themselves? Yeah, well I was worried about that mostly. Anyways–” Jinki waved his hand next to his head, making a gesture that had no real meaning.

    “I uh, went to highschool with Junho,” Jinki half-muttered, looking at the wall again, but not turning his head.

    “Jungah’s husband? Seriously?” Minho pried himself from the armrest, finally interested.

    “Uh, yeah, and here’s the thing,” the sheepishness returned, due to the revelation and the fact that four sets of eyes were all directly on him, “I knew him because we kind of dated? I mean, sort of…”

    Jinki continued to make indistinguishable hand movements. His point was cut off again by a now completely curious Minho.

    “He’s– wait, hold on, you’re–?”

    “Bi, and I was a confused, stressed, overprotected high school student in an all-boys academy. Anyways, that’s beyond the point because this isn’t about me, this is about him. I really don’t believe he had any interest in girls… Ever. So, when I heard it was him on this case, and that his wife was one of the victims it definitely was interesting to me. I didn’t look into it. People change, and more importantly, most of the time people get married for other reasons than love.”

    The four all stared intently like children being read a bedtime story. Jinki continued.

    “When I saw Junho on the second day of the case I talked to him immediately, not because of the case really, but because we had history and I just wanted to see how he’d been doing– you know, other than his wife being murdered, I guess. He told me, privately, as a friend rather than a detective, that they’d married mostly to get their parents off their backs… They were close friends, and they got along. So, after that when Junho was in question in terms of being the suspect for the murders–”

    “You kept denying it…” Jonghyun muttered, eyebrows high with the epiphany of the whole scenario.

    “Right. I trusted him… And this is where it all comes together. Soomin murders her husband, Minhyun, and his supposed mistress Jungah all out of jealousy and hurt. She’s smart, as we know, and so she doesn’t dare leave any prints. Afterwards she sees Junho’s reaction and feels guilty, and talks to Junho, and something he says raises her suspicions of him. Somehow, she finds out that she was right about one thing– Minhyun was sleeping with someone else– but that person was not Jungah, but actually Junho. She realizes she killed an innocent woman, quite violently, and the guilt pushes her to suicide.”

    The room was quiet once again, and everyone stared at Jinki with pure amazement. The more Jonghyun ran through the theory in his head, the more things seemed to add up. Everything was accurate, and made perfect, undoubtable sense. That wasn’t the only thing that amazed him– Jinki’s perfect, streamlined thought process somehow could sift out important details from dead ends quicker than the other four, and Jonghyun could swear that he was a genius. Though, this scared him a little bit, he also remembered that it had been a while, and during the past few weeks the case had been raked through by the five of them again and again until only important pieces remained, in which Jinki had just perfectly analyzed.

    Kibum was smirking, a hand pressed to his face in thought, obviously pleased by the hole-free explanation.

    “It’s perfect,” he smiled, leaning on Jonghyun out of habit, “if we can get Junho to admit to the affair, and maybe even provide evidence– like emails between the two or something… Then we have all the evidence needed to make a pretty strong case.”

Jonghyun watched Jinki nod in approval, then stand up from his seat and stretch casually. The other’s blankly sat, waiting for orders from their adored leader– which surprised Jinki and made him spin a bit in confusion as to why he was being stared at.

“Uh, right um,” he looked back and forth, “Jonghyun, we’ll go to the DA’s office on Monday to get reports on her death, and possibly meet Junho there if I can get ahold of him… Uh, I guess you're dismissed?”

Kibum continued to glare at Minho until he was out of sight and Kibum was sitting in Jonghyun’s car. Taemin, a few minutes after Jinki had “dismissed” them all, claimed that he’d drive Minho home after the other three left– which was a horribly covered lie, as Taemin didn't even own a car.

Jinki let Jonghyun drop him off a block from his apartment, in a quiet district of town farther than the rest of their apartments. Usually, Jonghyun would dread a trip longer than usual, but for some reason he had no complaints, and was rather relaxed.

After that, only Kibum and he remained, sitting in his car with the glowing lights of the city at night whooshing past the windows.

Kibum wasn't nearly as annoyed or offended as earlier, but seemed to be basking in post-epiphany bliss. A dull, small smile appeared and disappeared on his lips as thoughts went through his head, somewhat hesitantly, as if making decisions for himself. He sat comfortably, looking out his passenger seat window. Over the past few weeks he’d gotten used to Jonghyun’s old car, and though he’d never say it out loud, liked many things about it. He liked the genuine leather of the seats, the fact the seats moved back far enough to have comfortable leg room, and the large crystal clear windows. Over time, the passenger’s seat was something he silently claimed.

Jonghyun noticed, and it comforted him. Any hint of Kibum finding familiarity and comfort in things he owned or did made Jonghyun almost giddy with satisfaction. Kibum had claimed a few things in his life already, and that was only collateral for the fact Kibum thought he’d be around for a while. He was becoming, extremely quickly, a beautiful constant.

When Jonghyun pulled up on Kibum's apartment that night, he did the cheesiest thing he could without even thinking twice, and opened Kibum’s car door for him. He expected teasing, but none seemed to come up.

One streetlight stood by the walkway to the apartment doors, basking the front area of the complex in dull, white and blue tones. This only magnified the fact that the air was crisp and cold, revealing both of their breaths in the air.

Jonghyun didn't know what compelled him to do this, but he stood for a long while, gazing at the blond, excitable, elegant young man that had somehow taken over a good portion of his life and thoughts. The cold air stung his face, and warned him to get back in his car, but he didn’t.

He assumed that this would warn Kibum to get inside of his apartment as well, but it didn't. They stood, silently, about two feet apart on the concrete path leading to Kibum’s door.

“I’ll, uh,” Jonghyun stumbled over his words, looking at the ground to avoid staring again, “see you soon…”

Kibum said nothing, just smiled sweetly and enigmatically, lost in an infatuated stare. Jonghyun looked back up and was hit with how stunning the light made him look– the streetlight highlighting his high cheekbones and creating stars in his dark eyes, and the cold tinting Kibum’s lips and cheeks redder than before.

Maybe he was doomed to be a burden; another on the list of things Kibum had to deal with in order to get by. Jonghyun thought this often– or rather– convinced himself of this being true, or at least realistic. He supposed now, on this cold Saturday night, that this might not be something he needed to consider anymore. Because Kibum was here, by choice, standing in the freezing air just to say goodnight and to make sure their conversation was ended correctly and tenderly.

Jonghyun took a deep, shaky breath.

“So, um… I know your life is… Well, honestly, messy and overwhelming. I knew that from the first day I met you, but you still chose to put aside time for me, and uh, that really means a lot to me…”

Kibum looked slightly confused and surprised. Jonghyun took another hesitant breath and continued.

“Like really, a lot, and so far for me all those times have been worth it because you're always so fun, and confident, and beautiful… Really, really beautiful. And from like the second day I knew you on, you've kind of had me on a string. So I’m I guess just saying, I've been head over heels for a all this time and I’m just… I’m in love with you, Kibum.”

Jonghyun finished, his cheeks red from both the cold and embarrassment. His eyes were wide, vulnerable, terrified.

At first, Kibum flushed pink, a surprised, swept-away look in his eyes– quickly that turned sweet, and melted into a soft, genuine smile. He stepped closer, and could already feel the warmth collecting between them. He found one hand carefully finding purchase on the front of Jonghyun’s sweatshirt, their faces now inches apart.

Kibum spoke softly, with a single impatient breath.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

He pulled the grey fabric in his hands closer and placed his lips on Jonghyun’s, eyes fluttering closed and softening his expression.

At first there was a shockwave of surprise and sudden dizzy warmth. Jonghyun eventually found that feeling to be addicting and intoxicating and so he closed his eyes and pursued more. His cold, reddened hands slowly moved to hold Kibum’s waist, fingers latched in the dark fabric of his sweater. Sure, he’d imagined kissing Kibum a billion times, and guessed how his lips would feel, but this was completely different. Unimaginable, passionate, persistent.

Kibum’s arms moved from his jacket and instead slipped over Jonghyun’s shoulders, shifting them closer.

Frankly, Jonghyun couldn't really tell whether the kiss was particularly amazing, because all that was happening in his mind was fireworks. Pent up tension from weeks of hoping, pining, staring, finally given up. The openness and publicity, right in front of a large building only made the situation more meaningful, more secure.

Kibum pulled back first, breathing heavily and still holding onto a shy smile. He stayed that way for a while, looking over the features of Jonghyun’s face and seeming to take in every detail to savor the moment. Jonghyun’s thoughts were in a million places, but nonetheless he smiled back. A sudden chill came over him, and instinctively he looked up at the darkened sky.

He grinned; this was the first snow of the year, and he couldn't think of a place he'd rather be to witness it.

“It’s snowing,” Jonghyun quietly pointed out, still looking up at the sky. Kibum looked up as well, finding it to be true and nodding softly. He couldn't hide his excited childlike smile, and laughed brightly, then looking down and burying his head into Jonghyun’s shoulder.

“Jonghyun,” he mumbled through fabric, arms still linked over Jonghyun’s shoulders.

“Hm?”

“I love you too,” Kibum muttered.

The street was silent, and in that moment those were the only words Jonghyun heard or cared about.

--

THATS RIGHT KIDS NO MORE PINING!!!!!!!! FINALLY! WOW AND IT ONLY TOOK 
TEN DAMN CHAPTERS
im so sorry im a terrible writer
anyways this fic is not even close to being done so dont go away pls.. there is a whole
lot more to come! i really hope u guys r still reading this and enjoying it and i really 
really really love to see comments ok!!! please i love them so much pleas please please!
thank you so much for sticking with me!

-ki

ps: i got my editor back from the dead.. thank u sylvie i lov u