I, Kim Jonghyun have not seen anything.

I have seen nothing yet I do not feel empty.

I am curious, I want to know, but I do not let my want break me apart.

On the fateful night that I met the most beautiful person,

I am playing my violin.

I am playing my violin on my favorite bridge.

And that is how you found me.

I cannot see you but I feel you.

I feel you with all my heart and my soul.

I feel love for you.

Do you not look down on me?

You say you don’t and I believe you.

But a part of me knows that I am nothing compared to someone as beautiful as you.

We sat on the edge of the bridge,

You looking at whatever you were looking at,

And me singing to you.

My arms are around you and I hold you tightly.

You’re to die in an hour?

Why?

How can someone as beautiful as you die so early?

Why?

I know nothing of what you look like,

I know nothing of you.

But I do.

I do know you.

Time passes and I tighten my arms around you.

I don’t want you to go.

I don’t ever want you to go.

But even though I want to stop time so badly,

So badly that I would give anything in exchange for just another moment with you,

I cannot.

So I let time pass us by.

We do not speak but as you lay there in my arms,

A thousand words are spoken.

The last minutes come rushing towards us,

Threatening to push us over if we do not go along with it.

We run and we hide,

But in the end it hunts us down.

I won’t let you go.

If you die, I would hold you in my arms.

But now is not the time to be sad.

I need to tell you.

I need to show you.

I need to let you know.

I want to call your name

But I realize that I do not know it.

“What’s your name?” I ask.

“Kim Kibum.” You say.

“Kim Jonghyun.” I tell you, knowing that you want to know as well.

“Kibum?” I say.

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

I love you.

Forever and always.

To eternity and beyond.

I love you even if you’re going to die soon.

I love you even though I know that my heart is going to break soon.

I await your reply but I get none.

My heart starts its quick beating in my chest.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

I almost give up waiting for your reply.      

Then you pull me into a kiss.

It is my first, and probably my last.

I kiss you back with as much passion as I can muster.

As I feel your tenderness.

I love this. I love you.

Can we stay like this forever?

We do not waste time.

We do not let go of each other.

You kissed my neck and I feel you leaving a mark.

Mark me,

Mark me all you want because I am yours.

Forever and always.

I feel your lips on mine again and I am happy.

I am happy in that moment with you.

But when good things happen,

They do not last.

I hear you groaning in pain and my heart breaks.

Is it time already?

No, it is too soon.

It is too soon to lose you.

I want to do something, but I cannot.

I do not know what to do.

So I just hold you in my arms.

As you slowly slip away.

I cannot stop what is happening.

I want to keep you with me forever.

But I cannot.

Why can’t I?

You become still in my arms and I know.

I know that you are gone.

I hold you closer to me and the tears start to fall.

They fall and become a stream,

Almost as mighty as the river below us.

In that short time I had with you,

You showed me everything.

Now I love without having to see.

I know what love feels like.

But I want to know how you feel like.

I hold you in my arms until dawn.

I want to hear your voice again for the last time.

Hear it guide me through the darkness.

I want many things, but I have not wanted something so much.

I have not wanted someone so much.

Who is it that took you away from me?

I want to seek him out not for revenge,

But to beg him to take me too.

Take me away from here,

 Where I can be with you again.

Take me away from here.

I am left with nothing but a cold body in my arms.

But I have gained so much.

I have learnt the true meaning of love.

I have learnt so many things from you.

I take a deep breath and calm myself down.

It suddenly dawns on me what I can do.

If he will not take my life,

Then I shall take my own.

I kissed my violin gently and set it down on the bridge.

I hold you in my arms, and I jump.

I leap and I soar with you.

I am not afraid, not afraid at all.

I feel the water swallow me up and take away my breath.

I do not fight, I do not struggle.

I let it take me.

I feel nothing.

I keep my arms around you.

I will not let you go,

Even if I die, I will hold you in my arms.

I have spent my last hours well.

I have spent it with you.

Just like how you spent it with me.

And I’m glad.

I regret nothing.

I do not regret meeting you.

I would not exchange that for anything in the world.

I start to suffocate but I do not fight.

I hold you in my arms.

Suddenly, I do not feel the water anymore.

All I hear is your voice.

“Jonghyun, I love you.”

I am in your arms.