Donghae notices it when he stumbles to the bathroom the morning after heavy drinking and pulls down his boxers to pee. It's only a black mess in his eyes for a while and he peeks at it, turns his head and realizes it's a line of numbers and a little heart after them. He snorts. Donghae quickly finishes his business and tucks himself back into his boxers, reaches over for a piece of toilet paper and quickly splashes a bit of water on it from the tap. He wipes the markings on his leg.

It won't go away.

He wipes it with more force.

It's still there.

"Permanent marker, huh...," he mutters to himself. He squeezes a bit of soap on the wet paper and rubs more on the numbers. They're still there.

Donghae shrugs, tosses the toilet paper into the bowl and figures it's better to ask his roommate for help - he's definitely smarter than Donghae, not to mention a hungover Donghae.

He drags himself to the kitchen. "Kyuhyun-" he whines with his eyes closed, because the shutters are open and it's way too bright for his eyes. "How do you get off permanent marker?"

Kyuhyun is sitting by the table, with a glass of water and a delicious looking sandwich. Donghae's mouth waters at the smell of freshly fried bacon in the room.

"Uh," Kyuhyun swallows his mouthful of food with the help of the water. "Alcohol?"

"Okay," Donghae nods and heads towards the fridge. "Do we have vodka?"

"When do we not have vodka?"

"You have a point there," Donghae grins and opens the fridge, blindly reaching inside in hopes of finding a bottle. He does and he pulls it out, sets it on the table and starts searching for a tissue.

Even with the help of alcohol and such furious rubbing it leaves Donghae's skin achingly red, the numbers still stay there. "Kyuhyunnnn-" Donghae whines more. "It's not coming off."

"Let me look at it," Kyuhyun gets up and kneels before Donghae, who instantly pets his hair just because he feels like it. Kyuhyun snorts. His snorts turn into little giggles until it's full blown laughter and Kyuhyun is rolling on the floor clutching his stomach. Donghae is confused, because it really looks like his roommate's gone insane.

"What?!" he pleads. "What's so funny? Who's number is it?"

"No idea," Kyuhyun finally composes himself and hiccups. "But it's not permanent marker. It's a ing tattoo."

Donghae's eyes go wide. He stares. Then he laughs a bit too. He laughs and Kyuhyun laughs and they laugh until Donghae bursts into tears.

"What the happened last night?" he sobs into Kyuhyun shoulder, who shrugs and offers him the bottle of vodka.

 

Donghae admits he's kind of dumb. Even if he knows it's a tattoo, that doesn't stop him from rubbing it furiously with the peach scented body scrub Kyuhyun's girlfriend forgot in their shower last time she was over. It doesn't help any and Donghae is close to agony.

Sungmin had just called him, telling he needs to come to fill in for Minho tomorrow, because Minho fell sick and  they need another lifeguard to the pool. It's not usually Donghae's job, but he's filled in before and he thinks they just ask him to do it because he has a great body and the poolside definitely increases in females when he's around. But he can't walk around in swimming trunks with a tattoo of someone's number on his thigh.

"How do I hide it?!" Donghae bursts into Kyuhyun's room in the middle of Kyuhyun and Sooyoung's private time and Sooyoung screams and throws things at Donghae while she hides himself under Kyuhyun's blanket.

"What the , Donghae," Kyuhyun stares and Donghae doesn't even have the decency to be embarrassed - mostly because this has happened countless times before.

"I need to hide the tattoo," Donghae says as if it's the most obvious thing on the planet.

"Tattoo?" Sooyoung peeks from under the blanket with her hair mussed and eyebrows scrunched together.

"I don't know, there are some bandages under the sink just... wrap them around your thigh or something," Kyuhyun rubs his temples. Donghae nods and gives Kyuhyun a thumbs up as he rushes out. "At least close the door," Kyuhyun whines behind him and drops his head to the pillow.

"I fell," he tells Sungmin when he first sees him that morning and asks him about his so called "injury". "Um, down the stairs."

"Oh, okay," Sungmin looks at him sceptically.

"I uh, fought with a rabid dog," he tells Yuri and Yoona when they come in for their shift at the snack bar. "It was intense. Like, I almost died."

The girls burst into laughter and pat his shoulders, assuring him he's a true hero. He nods and agrees.

"I... crashed my car-" he tells Kangin when they switch shifts at 6 p.m.

"You got a car?" Kangin raises his eyebrows. "You didn't have a car yesterday. But you have one now. And you already crashed it?"

"I mean my bike, its nickname is 'car'," Donghae explains nervously.

"Your bike's nickname is car?" Kangin just stares, because to be fair, Donghae's always been the weirdest ing person he knows.

"Yeah."

 

Donghae's leaving work when Sungmin pulls up on the yard and asks him if he wants a lift home. Donghae agrees and sits on the front seat, immediately switching the radio channel because that's what he always does in a friend's car. Sungmin frowns but lets him do it, because if he didn't, Donghae would whine until he got to change the channel.

"Hae, for real, what's that bandage for?" Sungmin glances at Donghae's lap, where a bit of the bandage is showing from under his shorts. Donghae fiddles with his thumbs and fidgets in his place for a second.

"It's a tattoo," he answers honestly.

"You got a tattoo?" Sungmin's surprised.

"I guess," Donghae laughs awkwardly.

"You guess?"

"It just kinda... appeared there. Remember when we went out but you had to leave early well we continued drinking and I don't really know what happened but I woke up with a tattoo."

Fortunately they're at a streetlight that's glaring red, because Sungmin lets his head fall onto the steering wheel.

"What is it?" he asks a bit later when they're driving again. "Is it like a or something?"

"A phone number."

"Who's phone number?"

"..."

"You haven't called it?"

"...No."

 

Donghae decides to call the number the following day. Kyuhyun is out with Sooyoung and Henry is there for a visit. Donghae told him what happened and Henry laughed for thirteen minutes and forty-five seconds - Donghae counted. Then he wanted to see the tattoo and after Donghae showed it, Henry laughed for about eleven minutes more.

"Okay, I'm calling, so shut up," Henry bites his fist and giggles a bit, but nods. He's already convinved it's a girl, it's not a new thing he gets girls' phone numbers. He listens to the phone ringing for a while until he hears the click of someone replying.

"Hello."

The voice is deep, it's a man's voice, so Donghae screams and ends the phonecall. He glares at his phone with wide eyes and Henry's eyes staring at his friend are even wider.

"IT'S A DUDE," Donghae yells.

Henry laughs for twenty-five minutes and fifty-six seconds more.

 

"Come on, call it again," Sooyoung tries. Kyuhyun is already far gone, he's still laughing and snorting on the floor by Sooyoung's feet. "It can't be that bad, that doesn't mean you did something with him anyway."

Donghae looks at Sooyoung from behind his hands.

"Henry had with Ryeowook once when drunk and he's still straight- well at least he claims he is," Kyuhyun comments from the floor.

"He did?" Sooyoung asks, baffled.

"Let's not get into details," Kyuhyun shrugs. "But yeah, Hae, just call him."

"Henry had with Ryeowook?" Sooyoung's still stuck on the matter and Kyuhyun hushes her with his hand, but she slaps it, demanding more information. Donghae sits there, staring at his phone and the number he's written down on a paper from his thigh, while Kyuhyun sighs hard and starts the story Donghae's heard him tell countless times before - Kyuhyun's favorite past time just happens to be taking the piss out on Henry, and his little homoual adventure is the best material to use.

 

Donghae decides to text the mystery man instead.

He's very blunt and tactless often, so he writes down exactly what happened, not even bothering with a polite 'hi' or anything.

"your number is tattooed on my thigh. who the hell are you."

Donghae reads the message a couple of times and nods to himself, it's perfect. He sets his phone down on the coffee table but puts the volume so high he can't miss the reply if it comes. He doesn't actually focus on the TV show playing, but nervously glares at his phone every five seconds.

It finally beeps and vibrates, indicating someone replied. His heart jumps up to his throat as he grabs the phone.

"who the hell are you? is this a joke?"

Donghae stares. Then he replies.

"no"

He takes a picture of his thigh and the tattoo, and follows it with a picture of his own pouting face.

The next reply takes a bit longer this time.

"oh my god" It says.

"Oh my God," Donghae reads it out under his breath. "Oh my God." He repeats a couple times.

 

"So?" Sooyoung plops down next to Donghae on the sofa the following day, blinking curiously. "Did you contact him?"

"Yeah," Donghae says and burps and stuffs a handful of cheetos into his mouth. Sooyoung takes a few too but eats them far more gracefully than Donghae, who has cheesy crumbs everywhere around his mouth, on his shirt and wiped on his sweatpants. Sometimes Sooyoung has a hard time believing most of her friends are completely hot for Donghae, because spending time with him has made her realize he's only a five month old messy puppy stuck in a grown man's (very y) body.

"...And?" she nudges him when there's nothing following, just eyes staring blankly at the TV. Donghae digs out his phone and hands it to Sooyoung. She knows his code because it's so simple anyone could figure it out and opens his recent messages. She mutters the messages to herself and snorts. "Why didn't you reply to him?"

Donghae shrugs and chews with his mouth open, like he always does.

"Can I call him?"

Donghae doesn't quite register what Sooyoung asked until she's already dialing the number and pressing the phone to her ear. He whips his head towards Sooyoung when she goes; "Hello."

"SOOYOUNG," Donghae tries to reach for his phone, but Sooyoung's limbs are longer than Donghae's tiny little arms and legs.

"Oh, hello, yes, this is Choi Sooyoung," she jumps over the back of the sofa and away from Donghae's reach. "I found your number on my friend's thigh. Huh, what?," she grins towards Donghae with a glint in her eyes as she continues chatting and Donghae slithers to the ground like he's lost all his bones and lets out little pathetic noises.

"Oh!" Sooyoung suddenly stops. "He hung up!"

She sits back next to Donghae, or sort of on top of Donghae, and Donghae's not even sure if she's acting shocked or actually baffled on why he didn't want to talk to her.

 

Donghae decides to drop the subject. At least for a while. Until he gets drunk with Kyuhyun and Henry, all three in their underwear and a softcore movie playing in the television behind them.

"Hey," Kyuhyun starts. His words are a little slurred. "Am I the only one out of us three who hasn't had a gay experience?"

Henry blushes and hides behind the pyramid of beer cans they have built on the coffee table. Donghae just blinks. "I haven't had a gay experience."

Kyuhyun looks at him pointedly. "You kind of did."

"I can't be sure!" Donghae protests. "I have no clue what happened on that night!"

"Well," Kyuhyun leans back and crosses his arms. "He's avoiding you, so that means something embarrassing happened."

"That doesn't mean !" Donghae whines and kicks around his feet.

"Most of the time it does, I mean, Henry's still avoiding Wook," Kyuhyun snorts and looks at Henry who pulls his baseball cap (that he's still wearing, even if his shirt and pants have been disregarded somewhere a long time ago) down so his eyes are hidden.

"I'm not," Henry mumbles. "I'm just. Not ready to talk about it."

Kyuhyun shrugs. "You should, he's been on my about it for so long. Just ing call him."

Henry says something that neither of the others catch. Not that Donghae is paying attention anyway, because his mind is very much stuck on the subject that he might have had with a boy. He's confused, curious, tiniest bit scared. Was it good? Did it hurt- Did he...

"Oh my God," Donghae interrupts Henry and Kyuhyun's little argument. "I wonder who was the one who, you know, like, took it-"

"Oh, who bottomed?" Kyuhyun raises his eyebrows. Henry and Donghae both look at him like he had grown a second head. "I got a gay crash course from Ryeowook once. Anyway, I think you would've known if you bottomed..."

"What do you mean?" Donghae looks puzzled, and so does Henry.

"It hurts like ," Kyuhyun nods. The two are staring again. "I mean, that's what Ryeowook told me. That's why he's such a princess in the mornings, he can barely walk."

Henry's eyes are wide and he looks a bit like a kicked puppy. "I thought he was like that because I was a bad !" He stands up, accidentally tipping over the whole pyramid of beer cans. "I ing liked it! But I didn't want to talk to him because I thought he hates me!"

Kyuhyun looks at him, disgusted and amused at the same time. He coughs. "Please. He still wants you, that's what he's been whining to me about."

Henry freezes and his eyes are almost bulging out of his head. Kyuhyun stares back, eyebrow raised and a little confused smile on his face. Donghae is in danger of falling asleep on the coffee table, because the conversation is too weird to keep up with.

"Should  I call him?" Henry whispers.

"Yes," Kyuhyun whispers back.

"Hmmhmm," Donghae agrees.

 

"I want to see it," Yuri walks up to Donghae when he's sitting down on one of the sunchairs by the pool. He's taking a little break since the pool is pretty much empty, save from a couple teenagers on the other side sunbathing and a few men of his age talking while dipping their toes into the cool water of the pool.

"...See what?" Donghae looks from behind his sunglasses. "You've seen my already."

Yuri slaps his head. "Idiot. The tattoo."

Donghae swallows nervously and fidgets in place, avoiding Yuri's cold stare. "I don't have any tattoos, you got the wrong person. I think you should talk to Sungmin, he just recently got one on his wrist-"

Yuri grabs his hand.

"Sooyoung told me about it."

Donghae curses under his breath. "Can she keep anything to herself...," he mutters.

"I think we've already established that she can't, half of this city knows Henry and Ryeowook slept together and that you started crying while ing once," Yuri shrugs and sits down next to Donghae on the sunchair. "Why did you even cry?"

"How does she even know that?!" Donghae hides his face in his palms. "I was watching a sad movie, okay."

"I've seen you cry during a movie once and it was Finding Nemo, don't tell me you-"

"Can we change the subject, did you want to see my tattoo?" Donghae throws her a fake grin, blush staining his face and voice an octave too high.

"You ed during Finding Nemo? Donghae, you're sick," Yuri turns to face him.

"I'm not-"

"You ed and cried to Finding Nemo."

"Well, okay, do you want to see that tattoo now?" Donghae wants to desperately change the subject, because his most pathetic moment is something he doesn't want to discuss. To his defense, it was after a break-up and he was a bit drunk. Men are allowed to have emotions, alright.

"Sure," Yuri grins and sits up better. Donghae pulls up the leg of his shorts and starts undoing the bandage on it. Yuri giggles when it's revealed to her, then touches it gently, tracing her nail over the numbers. "Can I call it?" she giggles more. Donghae sighs and shrugs.

"Whatever, I think the damage has been done already."

Yuri claps in excitement and pulls out her phone from her pocket. They don't usually carry them around at work but it's a very slow day. She dials up the number and looks at Donghae while it rings.

At the same time, a phone starts ringing on the other side of the pool where the few men sit. Donghae's eyes widen as he looks directly at one of them, a skinny man who's hair must've been flaming red at one point but has faded into an interesting shade of orange by now. Yuri notices the same man picking out his phone and it's not an amazingly strange coincidence, because the nervous 'hello' the man mutters can be heard in Yuri's phone as well.

"Oh my God," Yuri screeches and laughs, the man turns to look at Yuri and Donghae, his eyes lock with Donghae's, Donghae almost pees himself.

It's like the air suddenly freezes, Donghae gets one good look of the man, his terrified eyes and jaw hanging open, before they both spurt out to the opposite directions. Donghae runs inside and into their locker room, the man towards the bushes by the pool and through them.

Yuri shares a confused look with the men still sitting by the pool and puts her phone down.

 

"Was he old?" Henry asks over the phone.

"No," Donghae answers, hidden beneath a blanket on their sofa and a comforting bowl of cheetos in his arms. "Probably my age."

"Well, that's good, I guess," Henry comments. Donghae can hear someone else's voice behind Henry through the receiver.

"Yeah...," Donghae sighs and stuffs his mouth full of cheetos.

"Was he attractive?"

"Why are you even asking that?" Donghae mumbles with the cheeto crumbs flying everywhere.

"Because-," there's soft rustling and a giggle. "Wook, please," Henry says under his breath and Donghae can hear he's smiling.

"...Henry," he stops munching and swallows the whole mouthful so he can speak better. "Is Ryeowook there?"

"..."

"Henry."

"Uhm, not now-"

"Henry?"

"Ah," Henry moans into the receiver.

"HENRY."

"Sorry, sorry," Donghae hears more rustling and the definite sound of a kiss. "I'm all yours."

"Was that directed to me?" Donghae asks, unamused. He turns around on the sofa to lie on his back and pushes the blanket to his waist.

"Yeah, you're my only man," Henry's voice sounds disgustingly sweet and Donghae boos at him. "Anyway, so you saw the dude?"

"...Kind of. I might've ran away as soon as we shared eyecontact...," Donghae hides his face behind his free palm.

"Seriously? That's not really how you should approach people, actually quite opposite of what you should do," Henry laughs at his own joke. Donghae groans and hides underneath the blanket again.

 

"Bring the first aid kit, someone got a pretty nasty wound from a piece of glass on the ground" Yoona shouts into the break room where Donghae is munching on a sandwich made by Henry (who had suddenly learned how to make amazing sandwiches). She leaves as soon as she appeared and Donghae abandons his sandwich to go and help whoever's in trouble. He grabs the kit and rushes outside after Yoona.

Someone sits on the sunchair and Yoona's kneeling before him, holding a few tissues over the clearly heavily bleeding cut on the bottom of his wound. The man has his face covered with his hands but Donghae notices that he has dangerously similar hair to someone - it's orange. He cautiously makes his way to him and kneels down next to Yoona.

He's got perfect scores from his first aid courses, so Yoona lets him take over and stands up, asking if the man is alright, as he's visibly shaking. "Are you alright, do you want water?" Yoona asks kindly and he nods, so Yoona shares a look with Donghae before rushing inside to get him a bottle. Donghae's left with the man's foot propped up on his knee. He carefully takes away the paper and frowns at the sight; it's pretty deep. With further inspection he realizes it's deep, but not deep enough to be needing stitches, probably won't even scar very badly.

"Good news, it won't need stitches," Donghae mutters and looks up for a second, but it's a time long enough for their gazes to meet. This time, Donghae doesn't run away,  even if he does prove out to be the same man from before; the same man who's number is currently tattooed on his thigh. The man just nods and Donghae busies himself with cleaning the wound.

Suddenly there's yelling when Donghae's placing a bandaid on the wound. "Hyuk?" Donghae recognizes Sungmin's voice even without looking in the direction, he hears footsteps and suddenly there's a shadow blocking the sun. "Hyukjae?" Sungmin asks again, kneeling next to Donghae. "What happened to you?"

Donghae visibly pales, but fortunately neither of them are looking at him. Sungmin knows him.

"Here's your water!" Yoona jogs to them and gives the man - Hyukjae -  the bottle. "You're still shaking, are you sure your're okay?"

"Don't worry, he just gets all squirmy seeing his own blood," Sungmin chuckles. Donghae swallows nervously. Sungmin knows him good enough to know such details about him. "I remember when we were kids, Hyuk got a papercut and I thought something was seriously wrong, he was crying and white as a sheet."

"Shut up," the man glares at Sungmin and Yoona giggles. Donghae breaks into cold sweat. Sungmin knows him really ing well, they're CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

"Uhm," Donghae coughs and everyone looks at him. "I'm all done so, uh, I need to go, yeah." He springs up, messily packs the first aid kit and rushes back inside, with the three staring at him like he had grown a second head.

 

Sungmin's enjoying a self-prepared, nutrient full salad on his well deserved lunch break, when Donghae bursts into the breakroom. He had obviously ran there, but stops and acts nonchalant, like he just casually appeared there on random, like he previously hadn't asked all their co-workers when Sungmin's having a lunch break.

"Didn't you eat already?" Sungmin asks, raising an eyebrow. Donghae fiddles around.

"Yes, wait, no, wait, I'm still hungry?" he looks around, as if the numerous posters on the walls would give him a clear answer. "I came to get water. And drink it here. It's so hot outside." He nods after succesfully delivering a terrible lie no one would believe, ever (since it was raining cats and dogs outside currently, Sungmin could even hear the raindrops banging against the window). He grabs a plastic cup and fills it water, then sits opposite of Sungmin, while slowly and very suspiciously sipping on his water. Sungmin can't help but snort at him.

Donghae takes a small sip, then sets his cup down. "So... How are you?"

"Good," Sungmin's even more suspicious because Donghae doesn't do this - small talk. He usually blurts whatever he has to say without thinking about it. "How are you?"

"I'm fine...," Donghae takes another sip. "How's your friend?"

"My friend?"

"I mean, the one who hurt his foot, is his foot alright?" Donghae fiddles nervously.

Sungmin stares at him, in the way that makes Donghae break into slight sweat. "Why are you-," then, he drops his fork onto the table, his eyes widen and his mouth breaks into a dangerous grin. "Oh. OH."

"O-oh?" Donghae swallows.

"So, you're that guy."

"What guy?" Sungmin starts laughing. "Sungmin! What guy?!" Sungmin laughs louder, imitating a cartoon bad guy. "SUNGMIN!"

 

Donghae invites Henry over for a best friend emergency meeting, just like the one they had when Sooyoung was threatening to leave Kyuhyun and when Henry found out he's allergic to tuna - their favorite pizza topping.

Although, usually their best friend emergency meetings had only involved the three of them, but this time with Donghae, Henry and Kyuhyun, there's a curious Sooyoung and even more curious Ryeowook, latching onto their respective boyfriends (or buddies, because Henry wasn't definitely far enough to call someone his boyfriend. Maybe someday, though). Ryeowook had obviously dug out the information from Henry, but Donghae wasn't too mad about it - there wasn't anyone who didn't know about the tattoo.

"So...," Donghae starts with a sigh.

"SO?" four voices reply, all equally excited, some of them hiding it better than others. Donghae glares at them all. Okay, he glares at Kyuhyun and Henry, because he's a little scared of Sooyoung and Ryeowook. Sooyoung, because she's very tall and Ryeowook, because he had some insane witchcraft in him to be able to turn Henry into a lovesick schoolboy. Or maybe he gave mind shattering s... "Donghae, you're spacing out," Kyuhyun snaps his fingers in front of Donghae's face.

"Oh, oh yeah, so...," he takes a long breath in. Everyone leans towards him on their seats. "I met him. He hurt his foot by the pool and I had to bandage him up, and it turned out Sungmin knows him? Small world, huh," he laughs a little. Henry makes a gesture with his hands that he should get on with the story. "Anyway, long story short, I asked Sungmin how his friend is doing and-" he takes a pause.

"And?" everyone's at the edge of their seats.

"He went 'oh, you're that guy'," Donghae puts extra weight on the word that, just like Sungmin had done. "That guy."

They're all silent, looking at each other. Donghae's looking at his palms, like they could solve all the mysteries of the world. Henry's face is baffled, Kyuhyun's eyebrows are knitted together and Ryewook's jutting his lower lip out as he thinks. Sooyoung, she's the polar opposite. She has a knowing smirk on her face and she crosses her arms as she leans back.

"You know what that means?" she nods to herself. Everyone looks at her like she had just cracked the Da Vinci code. "He's been talking about you to Sungmin." she winks. The boys are still as confused as before.

"How do you know that?" Donghae asks. Sooyoung rolls her eyes, hard.

"Imagine, you sleep with a girl, she's amazing but let's say she screams like she's possessed when she comes." Donghae looks at her in slight disgust and major confusion. "You tell about her to Kyuhyun and Henry, because obviously things like that should be shared with your best mates. Also, you got to make sure they know no one wasn't being murdered in your room the night before. Anyway, you're out with them and you see the same girl, and you're like, 'it's that girl', and they're like 'what girl', and you're like 'that girl', and they instantly know what you're talking about" Sooyoung stresses the word like Donghae did before. "Sound familiar?"

She receives nods and confused stares from Kyuhyun, Donghae and Henry and complete agreement from Ryeowook.

"It's the same thing, Sungmin knows something you don't, because he's told Sungmin something that made you that guy, get it?"

Donghae thinks hard for a moment, then it looks like a lightbulb sets on over his head. He grins, but suddenly his face drops. Onto the table. With a loud thump.

"What the did I do then?!" he sobs and Henry pats his shoulder.

 

Curiosity wins over Donghae eventually, and in his usual blunt fashion he catches up on Sungmin as they leave work at the same time, before Sungmin can start driving home.

"Sungmin!" he yells after him and Sungmin turns, almost getting his arms full of Donghae who apparently forgot to stop running. "Sungmin," Donghae pants.

"Donghae?" Sungmin asks, amused by his strange co-worker.

"Sungmin," Donghae smiles and cups Sungmin's cheeks, because he forgot what he was asking for a second, because Sungmin was really adorable. "I mean, I want to talk to you."

"Okay? About what?" Sungmin's a little baffled, although he has a slight idea what Donghae's after.

"Y-you're friends with him, right?" Donghae stutters and asks something he already knows the answer to. "The guy, who hurt his foot and the guy... who's number is still tattooed on my leg."

Sungmin laughs and shakes his head. "I am."

"Has he been, um... talking about me?" Donghae is embarrassed asking things like that, but he really needs to get it off his shoulders. "About anything that happened, between me and him...?"

"He has," Sungmin answers honestly.

"Oh, can you-"

"Listen, Donghae, I love you," Sungmin sets a hand on his shoulder and sighs. "But it's not really my job to tell you, I don't even want to tell you, why don't you ask him yourself?"

"But, Min...," Donghae whines, grabbing onto Sungmin's hand with both of his.

"You have his number," Sungmin winks, gently takes Donghae's hand away from his and turns to walk towards his car. Before he unlocks the door, he turns around again to face Donghae, still frozen in place. "Why don't you start by saying hi?"

 

"We're going drinking!" Kyuhyun singsongs, followed by a 'woo' from Sooyoung.

Donghae grunts from his bed where Kyuhyun's laptop is propped up on his abdomen and Sooyoung's Netflix account open playing and episode of Family Guy. They had let him borrow them so he'd stop appearing in Kyuhyun's room when they were having to ask dumb questions. "Yay," he mutters, but he's not actually very excited. There's a lot on his mind.

"Why are you so down?" Kyuhyun juts out his bottom lip as he flops down next to Donghae on the bed. Donghae shrugs and Kyuhyun naturally spoons him, pressing his face against Donghae's shoulder and rubs his nose against his shirt. "C'mon."

"I don't know," he murmurs.

"We'll go to the place you like, okay? The beer lounge where Tiffany works at?" a small smile appears on Donghae's lips. He really does like that place. "Sooyoung's gonna tell her you're sad and she's going to make you that special drink again, alright?" Donghae nods.

Kyuhyun squeezes his middle and gets up.

 

Their plan to get a "couple of beers" fails epicly as they crawl home at 4 a.m, trying their best to support each other. Sooyoung left earlier with Tiffany to have a girls' night out, so Donghae and Kyuhyun were left together.

Kyuhyun passes out on the couch and Donghae gives him a goodnight smooch and makes his way to his own bed. He lies down and is about to pull a blanket around him, when he accidentally kicks his phone down from the bed. Groaning, he moves to pick it up and getting back up, decides to check his social networking sites, e-mail and new texts. There aren't many, so he scrolls down his text list, noticing the short conversation with the man from earlier.

Sungmin's words run in his drunken head; "why don't you start by saying hi?"

So he does exactly that, managing to type a little greeting and an emoticon and send it before he passes out.

Donghae wakes up to his phone beeping, signaling a new message coming in. It's 9.30 a.m, his head is thumping as he reaches for his phone somewhere or the bed. It takes him a while to realize that it's a text, it's a text reply to something he sent last night.

"hi. who are you?" it says. Donghae frowns. He sits up and ponders if he should reply or just ignore it. Then he wonders how he should reply. He almost goes and asks Kyuhyun for help, but realizes that for once, he wants to keep something private.

"i'm lee donghae, you might remember me as the guy who bandaged your wound by the pool." he finally types. He sends it, but quickly types another to follow it. "i still don't know your name".

It takes fifteen minutes of lounging around the bed until the next reply comes.

"oh, it's you. thanks for helping me. my name is lee hyukjae."

Lee Hyukjae, Donghae runs the name through his mind and onto his tongue. "Lee Hyukjae," he says out loud.

He doesn't reply after that, it's a step big enough already. He rolls around in bed for an hour or two, until Kyuhyun comes in and they spend the rest of their day spooning and whining.

 

The dawning realization hits Donghae when he comes home from work on a wednesday night. He knows Henry is at their place, he's bought a sixpack of beer and is already planning to get and spend the rest of the evening in his underwear with Kyuhyun and Henry.

When he opens the door and hears Sooyoung's giggle, he's a little disappointed, but not upset. It's just Sooyoung, and Sooyoung's his friend. He walks in and sees Ryeowook on the couch. "Hi," he says cautiously and Ryeowook waves at him. He sneaks past the living room and into the kitchen, where Henry and Kyuhyun are cooking. He's very suspicious.

"What's going on?" he asks while placing his beers into the fridge.

"We're just preparing some snacks, we're going to watch a movie since Ryeowook and Sooyoung are here," Henry replies and offers a piece of meat for Donghae to taste.

Donghae shrugs and returns back to the livingroom to take his place on the couch. His friends come in soon too, carrying a couple of plates and glasses. Kyuhyun pops in a movie and everyone takes their places, ready to enjoy whatever he had chosen for tonight.

About five minutes have passed of the movie when Donghae gets it. He glances onto the loveseat where Sooyoung's sitting on Kyuhyun's lap, he's drawing circles with his fingers onto her thigh. Next to him on the couch, Ryeowook's lying tucked neatly onto Henry's side, occasionally exchanging kisses. He's suddenly painfully aware that he's the only without a partner... He's the only single friend!

It's a little overwhelming suddenly, he feels a little sad even. This cute little movie night is only a gateway to double dates, and other things where Donghae would only be the awkward fifth wheel, other things where Donghae would feel out of place. He doesn't even remember when this has happened before - probably because it hasn't. They've had their girlfriends, but for the most part it's just been the three of them. After Sooyoung came along, Donghae still had Henry but now...

The air of the room is suddenly way too suffocating and uncomfortable, and with every sound of a kiss, a whisper or a giggle it gets too heavy for Donghae - and he wants out.

"I have to go," he mutters without any further explanation, jumps over the backrest of the couch and practically runs out.

 

He doesn't hate Ryeowook or Sooyoung, he loves them, in fact. But everything is different with both of them around now, and Donghae really likes routines and the comfort of familiarity. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he had someone too, and he'd be a part of this exclusive couples club his best friends have joined and left him outside like the sad, wet puppy he kind of looks like right now - it's raining and he forgot his jacket inside.

He's wandering and not sure where he wants to go, maybe inside at least, because the evening rain is chilly. He chooses to head towards the cafe-bistro nearby, the one where Sunny works as a barista. She's a sweet girl, but very smart and mature. Even if she's Kyuhyun's ex-girlfriend, she still continues to be friends with all of them.

The door opens with a little creak as he steps in, and as he expected, Sunny's there behind the counter, instantly recognizing him. "The usual?" she asks with a smile and Donghae nods. He walks to the counter and leans on it, quickly scanning the place. There's only one empty table, and he's planning to snatch that from himself, until he sees...

"Is that Kangin?" he whispers to Sunny who giggles and nods. Donghae glances to the table, where his co- worker and friend is sitting at, with someone with sandy blonde hair sitting across from him, their back to Donghae.

"Yes, but I wouldn't sit with him if I were you," she points out while busying herself with the cups.

"Why?" Donghae his head to the side.

"That's more than just a friend he's sitting there with," she winks and gives him his cup. Donghae nods, confused look on his face. He gives her the money, Sunny thanks him with another smile.

He's barely sipped his coffee when the door opens again and two men walk in. They greet Sunny loudly, the shorter of them even leaning over the counter for a hug and a cheek kiss. Donghae looks at them curiously, and is even more confused when Sunny points at him, and the two turn to walk towards his table. It's Sungmin and his taller friend is none other than Hyukjae.

"Sorry, can we sit here?" Sungmin smiles and Donghae nods. "It's surprisingly full even if it's so late." Sungmin shakes his head. "But who can blame the customers..."

He says that with a longing sigh and a grin as he sits down. Hyukjae is a bit hesitant, but sits down too. He's wearing a fur-lined coat, with the hood still on his head, and he's nervous. Just like Donghae.

"I'll go get our orders," Sungmin says to Hyukjae after a brief silence, patting him on the shoulder. Hyukjae looks at him helplessly as he walks to the counter and leans on it, even wiggling his a little bit. Hyukjae groans and turns back to look at Donghae. Their eyes meet and the atmosphere is as uncomfortable as it was back home for Donghae.

"Hi," Donghae manages to murmur and it clearly startles Hyukjae, who most likely wasn't expecting Donghae to say anything.

"Hi...," he answers back.

There's no reason to let the awkwardness take over, so Donghae continues. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good," Hyukjae's voice is a little strained, it's clearly weird for both of them. "How are you?"

"I'm alright."

Even if Donghae tried not to let the conversation die down, it does. They're completely quiet, so quiet they can hear Sunny's giggles and Sungmin's cheesy pick-up lines from the counter.

Suddenly, Hyukjae sighs and smiles. "I don't understand why he hasn't asked her out yet," he points his thumb towards Sungmin and Sunny. Donghae's mouth opens but he doesn't know what to say. "They're doing this every single time we come here, it's getting kinda boring, being the third wheel."

Donghae is surprised, but then he smiles. "I know, trust me, I know."

"Oh?" Hyukjae flashes that gummy smile again, although nervous, but it's still there.

"Both of my best friends are dating someone, I'm not," Donghae shrugs.

Hyukjae stares at him with interest. "...Well, for me it's different-"

"Hyukkie~," Sungmin calls out with ridiculously sugary voice, interrupting their short conversation. He's carrying a paper bag and two take-out coffee cups. "I'm ready, should we go? Or do you want to...?" He nods towards Donghae.

"Ah, I'm good, he's probably waiting anyway," Hyukjae replies and stands up. He turns towards Donghae and thinks about what to say for a second. "Um, nice meeting you, Donghae."

"You too," Donghae nods and watches them leave the cafe, but not before Sungmin winks towards Sunny behind the counter.

 

When he comes back home, Ryeowook and Henry are gone and he can hear Kyuhyun snoring in his room. Sooyoung's doing the dishes in the kitchen when Donghae goes in.

"Where did you go? We were worried," she asks quietly as Donghae sits down.

"For coffee," he answers simply. "I felt a little out of place."

"Oh," Sooyoung turns to face him and leans on the counter. "Is it because, like me and Kyuhyun, Henry and Ryeowook are also...?"

Donghae really doesn't understand how Sooyoung gets everything so easily, but shrugs as an answer.

Sooyoung frowns and walks up to him. Her hands smell like soap when she cups his face and runs her hands through his hair. She smiles. "You'll find someone eventually, you're handsome and kind, a perfect boyfriend."

"Thanks," Donghae laughs a little a grins up at her.

 

Donghae loves dogs. He loves petting dogs he meets at the street, and normally when he sees a dog, he gets to know the canine before its owner. He's  often told he could might as well be a dog himself, he acts and looks like a puppy more often than the grown man he's supposed to be.

And when a cute pomeranian lady taps past him on the street while he's coming home from work and sniffs his pant leg, Donghae is quick to kneel next to her and pet her furry head, cooing words and grinning like a child in the candy store.

"Uh, hi, Donghae," the pet's owner suddenly laughs and Donghae freezes. What an oddly familiar voice...

He glances up to meet Hyukjae's eyes. "H-hyukjae, oh," he swallows nervously and stands up. The dog whines and Donghae leans down a little to let her his hand a bit more. "What are you doing here?"

"I- my friend lives nearby," he shrugs.

"Is this his dog?" Donghae looks down at the fluffy ball.

"No, she's mine," Hyukjae leans down and picks her up. "Choco."

"Choco...," Donghae scratches her ear. "She's pretty."

"My princess," Hyukjae chuckles and kisses her head. "I brought her for a visit at my... friend's place."

Donghae nods. They stand there for a while, until he coughs. "I have to go," he doesn't actually have to go. "Nice seeing you again."

"You.. you too," Hyukjae gives him a genuine smile and waves with Choco's paw as Donghae turns to walk away.

 

Donghae's slight sadness about being the only single friend turns to boredom in no time. And to fight off the boredom while hanging out with the two couples, he chooses to bug someone else, to be specific - Hyukjae.

He feels as if Hyukjae's slowly warming up to him, even though they've only met twice, but they've actually had a conversation. Donghae is still curious about the night of the whole tattoo incident, which still decorates his thigh. He's almost used to it, mostly hidden under a bandage but he sees it when he showers or sleeps. It's kind of a part of him now, a strange, confusing part, but a part anyway.

Donghae figures if he manages to get a little closer to Hyukjae, maybe the other will open up about what happened and Donghae will finally have closure on the whole thing. He doesn't like living in constant confusion, not knowing if he actually slept with Hyukjae or not and why the hell did they think it was a good idea to tattoo Hyukjae's number on his thigh.

They're watching a movie again, but Donghae's hardly concentrating. He's texting Hyukjae, a simple little 'how are you doing' turned into a full blown conversation, and he quickly realized his and Hyukjae's tastes in humor match perfectly. He finds himself snorting at the things he says, and smiling triumphantly when Hyukjae  replies with a bunch of laughing emoticons after his jokes.

And in the middle of all the joking, he feels like as if he and Hyukjae could have a shot at being friends - if they just learn to leave their awkward past experiences behind them. Before that, Donghae just needs to know what those awkward past experiences are.

He bumps into Hyukjae again a few days later in a grocery shop near the place he met him the last time. He's choosing between two different brands of instant noodles, clearly confused.

"Hi," Donghae says as he walks up to him, startling him.

"Oh, hi!" Hyukjae's eyes widen but he grins.

"Are you visiting your friend again?" Donghae asks, he remembers Hyukjae mentioning his friend living nearby. Hyukjae looks a little uncomfortable but nods.

"I don't usually cook...," he gestures towards the ingredients in his hands and laughs nervously.

"Me neither," Donghae shrugs. "But Ryeowook always uses this one, so I guess it's good."

Hyukjae sets the one Donghae pointed at into his basket and the other back to the shelf. "Who's Ryeowook?" he starts walking and Donghae follows him.

"He's my best friend's boyfriend," Donghae mutters. "And my other best friend's best friend. And my friend."

"Oh, so is your best friend...," Hyukjae looks a little flustered. "I'm sorry if this is too personal but is he gay?"

Donghae stops and stares. Hyukjae's question is sudden and kind of weird. "Yeah, no, I mean, bi?"

Hyukjae 'aah's and nods. "...What about you?"

"No! I mean, it's cool to be into boys, but I'm not, I- uh, no... girls, straight," he's blushing and stuttering and stumbling over his words. Hyukjae's expression is amused.

"That explains a lot...," he murmurs. "Waking up with another dude's phone number on your thigh must have been quite a shocker." It's the first time Hyukjae mentions anything about the tattoo, so Donghae gasps quietly. But then he's baffled, does Hyukjae mean it wasn't a shocker for him, then?

"Weren't you shocked?" he asks without thinking. Hyukjae freezes.

"...I was," he finally says. "Of course I was." He laughs. "But not for the same reasons."

Donghae's completely lost. He looks at Hyukjae pathetically.

"I'm bi, just like your friend. Sleeping with a man isn't exactly new...," he shrugs, clearly a little uncomfortable.

"So, we really did-" Donghae starts but Hyukjae interrupts him quickly.

"I really need to go, bye!" and he turns on his heels and pretty much runs away from Donghae - once again.

 

"You really did sleep together!" Kyuhyun claps his hands together and sniggers. Donghae shrugs.

"Seems like it," he mutters into his beer can.

"Why are you still upset?" Henry pats his back. "At least you know what happened."

"I still did something stupid," he lies his head down onto the table. He does know what happened, but it seemed like it didn't clear anything out at all. Quite the opposite, everything turned even more puzzling. "I got the answer I was searching for, but it didn't clear out anything," he voices out his thoughts and Kyuhyun frowns. "I mean, I think if the case would have only been the way I imagined it was... two straight dudes drunkenly hooking up, it would have been so much simpler, and everything would be fine now, but he's not even straight, he's bi, he sleeps with men... this shouldn't have been a bad thing for him, but it is!" Donghae sounds desperate and Henry even tries to hush him down.

"And I don't know what I did to make him get so embarrassed about it..." he chokes back a sob.

Kyuhyun shakes his head and wraps his lanky arms around Donghae, forcefully pulling his torso onto his lap.

"What if he has a matching tattoo?" Henry suddenly throws. "Or not a matching one, but something much more embarrassing... like your name!" Kyuhyun and Henry both burst into laughter but Donghae just crosses his arms and huffs. But it would explain a lot, that's true and maybe he just has to find out if it's true.

 

It's not true, Donghae finds out.

He's at work again, currently picking up trash from the poolside when Hyukjae appears - in the skimpiest little speedo he could imagine a man wearing.

The tiny little swimwear gives Donghae the chance to discreetly look over Hyukjae's body, and he can't find a tattoo anywhere. He also realizes Hyukjae is skinny as hell. Like a little stick, just with abs stuck on his stomach and impressive thigh muscles flexing as he walks. He's long and lean and very pale, whereas Donghae is thick, an inch or two shorter and much tanner than Hyukjae is. And to add to the whole being opposites thing, Donghae's hair is a dark brow, and Hyukjae looks like he's bleached it even further, it's a very light strawberry pink right now.

He waves at Hyukjae when he finally notices him and Hyukjae waves back with a grin. He thinks about going to chat with him but he actually has to work and Hyukjae looks like he's having fun with his friends and he doesn't want to annoy them, so he goes back to picking trash after sending a smile to Hyukjae's way.

 

"Idiot, it could be on his ," Henry points out when Donghae tells him he didn't see a tattoo when he last met Hyukjae.

"Or on his ," Kyuhyun agrees.

Donghae looks at them, disgusted and horrified, because it actually could be true. His name on Hyukjae's non-existent buttcheek would totally be a thing Hyukjae didn't want to admit happening and would go his way to hide it.

He lies down on the floor by Henry and Kyuhyun's feet - one of them kicks him, the other his hair as he sighs.

Donghae can't think properly before he gets an answer to the question that's now invading his mind, so after few hours of lying in bed he decides to text Hyukjae. It would be too embarrassing to ask face-to-face, for both of them. He thinks about what to say long and hard, writes a message and erases it a couple of times before he settles for something.

"just wondering, i never thought to ask this before but you don't happen to have any embarrassing tattoos from our... night together? would explain a lot, haha"

He holds his breath as he sends it, squeezing his eyes shut and throws his phone on the bed.

It takes about ten minutes of waiting in agony until Hyukjae replies. Donghae's heart is pounding, hands sweaty as he carefully unlocks his screen and checks the text.

"no, i'm afraid of needles. no matter how drunk, i could never do that."

Donghae wails and presses his face to the comforter.

 

Donghae's blissful sleep is interrupted by Henry jumping into his bed and crashing straight onto his abdomen, pushing all air out of Donghae. He coughs, splutters and feels like he's going to die before he gets the strength to push Henry off of him and onto the floor. Henry whines and climbs back onto the bed, this time more gently and settles himself next to Donghae.

"Ryeowook went to visit his parents, he's gone for a couple of days," Henry starts. Donghae's hardly registering what he says but gives out a hum, signaling he's somewhat awake and listening. "I figured we could go meet Zhou Mi today, what do you say?"

Donghae shrugs and the lump of blankets shifts slightly.

"He called me earlier and asked us to come, he's apparently taking a break from designing and promised to cook lunch," Henry wishes Donghae would get lured in with food, and it works, since Donghae peeks from under the blankets and grins, nodding excitedly. Henry grins back. "Great! I'll go wake Kyu up, why don't you take a shower, you ing stink," he throws as he gets off from the bed and rushes to the other room in the apartment.

They're up and going in a couple of hours, after the morning cartoons - when Sooyoung's away even Kyuhyun gets into them. Zhou Mi lives quite near and the weather is nice so they decide to walk there. Dropping by the grocery store, the exact same one he met Hyukjae the last time, they buy some snacks and a bottle of wine to bring to Zhou Mi as a thank you for inviting them. Donghae's lips curve into a smile as they wait by the cash register as he thinks about Zhou Mi. The Chinese freelance fashion designer has always been more of Henry and Kyuhyun's friend, but Donghae still likes him. He's always smiling and laughing and it's a nice change compared to Kyuhyun who only really breaks out of his cynical I-hate-the-world- face when someone farts.

The sun is shining into his eyes so he has to squint as they walk through the busy street, towards a big apartment block looming above them. He's been at Zhou Mi's place a couple of times, it's huge. Zhou Mi is pretty wealthy, he could be considered a celebrity in the fashion circles. Or that's what Donghae's heard, he's not very fashion forward.

They step up into the lobby of the huge building and Kyuhyun goes to press the number of Zhou Mi's apartment to ring his doorbell and alert him that they've arrived. Meanwhile, Donghae and Henry look around.

A door opens on the other side of the lobby, and a hooded figure with a dog in his arms comes out, with another man following him. They're talking quietly but stop when the man with a hood notices Donghae and Henry.

It's Hyukjae.

"Hey!" he squeaks, clearly surprised. "Donghae, um, what are you doing here?"

Choco barks and Donghae smiles at her before looking at Hyukjae. "We're visiting a friend." His eyes trail to the other man, taller and bigger than Hyukjae is. His hair is stark black and his eyebrows thick but groomed, nearing his hairline as he looks at the conversation between Hyukjae and Donghae in confusion. He's dressed in a white dress shirt and black slacks and his coat looks like it costs more than Donghae and Kyuhyun's entire apartment.

"Who's your friend?" the man asks suddenly. Donghae's startled but gladly Henry realizes to answer.

"Zhou Mi, he lives in the-" he starts but the man talks over him.

"Ah, I know him." Henry frowns as he's being interrupted. "Lives down the hall on my floor," he directs his words more towards Hyukjae than anyone else. Hyukjae nods. He seems a little uncomfortable, but Donghae doesn't ask why. This man must be the friend Hyukjae's told him about, but he seems so different from what Donghae imagined him to be. Something just doesn't rub him the right way about this man, but he can't really place his finger on what is the thing that bothers him so much.

"Let's go," Kyuhyun calls from where he's standing. "Zhou Mi's waiting for us."

Donghae bids a quick 'bye' to Hyukjae and a brief nod to the man next to him as he rushes behind Kyuhyun and Henry.

 

"Oh, he's Choi... something?" Zhou Mi laughs as he places plates in front of Donghae and Kyuhyun, after Donghae asked him about the neighbor. "He's a model."

"He looked like a model too," Henry snorts as he follows behind Zhou Mi, carrying wine glasses and a basket of bread rolls, freshly baked.

"True, even I can admit he was handsome," Kyuhyun nods and Zhou Mi shoots him a grin. He looks down at his smartphone. "Choi Siwon?" he asks waving around a Google search of the name 'Choi' on his screen.

"Exactly!" Zhou Mi nods. "Siwon, yes."

"Siwon...," Donghae repeats. He wonders for a while where Hyukjae knows him, because Siwon seemed to be so different from Hyukjae. Not that he knew Hyukjae that well, and Siwon even less. His thoughts are drowned out by the smell of food as Zhou Mi carries a pot onto the dinner table and asks them to dig in, which the three hungry men do with pleasure.

 

It comes so suddenly; the text from Hyukjae on a saturday morning.

"sungmin told me you're free today, want to hang out?"

He stares at his phone, he's confused but not in a bad way. It's a nice idea, actually, kind of random but nice nevertheless.

"sure. you can come to our place."

He replies without putting much thought into it. He quickly sends a message with directions to where they live after the first one he sent. He sets his phone down onto his nightstand and sits up. He rubs his eyes and stretches before standing up and heading towards the shower. He cracks his spine when he walks but comes to a halt when he's out of his room.

The living room is a complete mess. There are empty bottles and cans everywhere. Dirty plates are piled on and under the coffee table. Video games and wires from their gaming consoles are a knotty mess on the floor. Dirty laundry is literally all over the place. It looks terrible. Donghae wouldn't normally note it, probably not even notice it, but he realizes - he just promised that Hyukjae could come to their place. Which currently looks like someone threw a bomb made out of cheetos in the middle of the apartment.

He warily makes his way over the things littered on the ground and heads to check if the kitchen is in the same state. And it is. Donghae groans and rubs his face, blocking out the mess in the kitchen for a while. If Hyukjae's coming in, he's got no choice but to ditch the shower and do something he, nor Kyuhyun, haven't done in ages - clean.

 

Kyuhyun's ready to squirm between piles of beer cans and dirty laundry into his room when he opens the door but instead, there's nothing blocking his way in the doorway. He's confused, because when he left for work, there was a pile of something on the floor, something that smelled suspicious and was most probably living its own life already. He takes a few careful steps into the apartment and almost turns back on his heels because the apartment he came into can't be theirs. What makes him stay is Donghae, hunched over the coffee table, adjusting a ing tablecloth.

"What happened here...?" Kyuhyun whispers, scared. The  whole living room is clean, there is nothing unnecessary on the floor, no food stains on the sofa and armchair, no dust layers on the tables and shelves. Their games and DVDs are in order where they originally were supposed to be and Donghae's put a tablecloth on the coffee table, when usually it's covered by random junk, trash and cans.

"I cleaned," Donghae replies a bit sheepishly.

"Are you sick? I've never seen you clean before, unless Sooyoung's threatening to kill us with a kitchen knife if we don't do it, and as far as I know, she hasn't been here all day," Kyuhyun takes a few more steps inside, looking around in wonder.

"No, I just wanted to clean," Donghae stands up and looks down to the coffee table.

"But why?" Kyuhyun can't let it go, but his questions is answered as the doorbell rings.  "...Someone's coming over? Did you clean up for a girl?"

"No-," Donghae says quietly and the doorbell rings again. He rushes to open, but the curious Kyuhyun makes it first with his long legs. He pushes Donghae further away and opens the door. And behind it stands none other than Hyukjae.

"Uh, hi?" Hyukjae waves awkwardly when Kyuhyun grins at him kind of creepily. There's a brief silence, confused and heavy, until Donghae grunts and pushes Kyuhyun harshly away. Kyuhyun yelps and moves behind Donghae, who goes to stand by Hyukjae.

"Hi, come on in. This is Kyuhyun, my roommate," Kyuhyun nods as Donghae talks, waving his lanky fingers.

"Uh, hi," Hyukjae repeats. Kyuhyun keeps on grinning so Donghae pushes him again.

"Go or something," he sends him off with a harsh whisper, but Hyukjae catches it and laughs, although uncomfortably. Kyuhyun does leave, shooting them another crooked grin before he closes the door of his room and disappears, leaving Hyukjae and Donghae alone in the doorway. Donghae sighs and finally gets to have a good look at Hyukjae. He's dressed in a parka that he's currently ping and there's a beanie on top of his currently platinum blonde hair. "You dyed your hair again?" Donghae blurts out and Hyukjae's fingers instantly go up to touch his hair.

"Yeah," he smiles. "I do that quite a lot."

"I've noticed," Donghae nods. Hyukjae snorts. "I had blonde hair once, too."

"You?" Hyukjae strips off his parka and hangs it where Kyuhyun and Donghae's coats are. "I kind of thought you'd always been brunette."

"I was like sixteen, though," Donghae laughs. "It was long and wavy."

Hyukjae let's out a loud laugh. "I can't even imagine what that looked like."

 

Donghae offers Hyukjae some snacks and a drink before they settle down onto the couch, planning to watch a movie. He logs into Sooyoung's Netflix account and scrolls through the various movies.

"Comedy or horror?" he throws at Hyukjae.

"Not horror!" Hyukjae's eyes widen. "I can't stand horror, I'm sorry." He looks a little sheepish. "I'm way too much of a wuss for those type of movies. The only time I watch them is with Siwon and even then...," Hyukjae suddenly stops and looks at his socked feet on the coffee table. "Yeah... No horror!"

Donghae raises his eyebrow but nods. "Alright, comedy it is." Hyukjae nods back. Donghae chooses a random american one and sits down next to Hyukjae. When the credits start rolling, he realizes he has way too many questions in him to just stay quiet and watch. "So...," he starts. "Who's this... Siwon dude?"

It takes Hyukjae a while before he answers. "He's my friend. We've known for a good while."

"Oh, that's cool. Is he nice?"

Hyukjae's face says he clearly doesn't understand why Donghae's been asking all these questions. "Yeah, he's very nice to me." And probably to avoid any following questions he starts questioning Donghae himself. "How's your roommate?"

"Ah, Kyuhyun, he's awesome. He's a little mean sometimes, but he doesn't mean bad."

"He didn't seem that mean," Hyukjae ponders, stuffing a couple of popcorns into his mouth. "Is he the one dating a dude?"

Donghae shakes his head. "He has a girlfriend, Sooyoung. Henry's the one dating Ryeowook."

"Henry? He's a foreigner?" Hyukjae turns to face Donghae on the couch.

"Yes, from Canada," Donghae reaches for the popcorn bowl.

"That's cool."

Donghae sends Hyukjae a small smile as silence falls to the room, the only noise being the movie playing in the background. Donghae turns his face towards the screen and focuses on the movie, and in no time, they find themselves laughing their heads off because of the movie and the previous uncomfortable air dissolves completely.

 

The movie ends eventually and the two have gone through two bowls of popcorn and about six cans of soda. Still, Donghae's stomach growls as the credits roll by and Hyukjae snorts at the sound - it's so loud he can hear it to the other side of the sofa.

"Hungry?" he laughs. Donghae nods and grins.

"Yeah, maybe I should go check the fridge for some leftovers...," he's about to get up but surprisingly, Hyukjae grabs onto the hem of his shirt to stop him.

"Uhm," he looks a little flustered. "Why don't we go grab some dinner instead? I know this really good Chinese place, it's really close and the owner is Siwon's friend so I get regular discounts. I'll pay!"

"You don't have to pay...," Donghae sits back down. "But alright, sounds great!"

They sit around playfully kicking each other's legs until they decide to go before it gets too dark. The restaurant is only a couple blocks away, Hyukjae explains about it as they pull on their coats. He tells a little about the owner, a guy from China who had been Siwon's friend for ages, and since Hyukjae was so close to Siwon, he had also learned to know him pretty well. "He makes kick- Beijing fried rice! I suggest you try it," Hyukjae laughs as they walk through the busy, cold street. "But seriously, anything on the menu is delicious. Once you go there once, I'm pretty sure it's going to become your regular Chinese place." Hyukjae winks and Donghae's startled by the action, but laughs after a minute.

"Hope so," Donghae shrugs and follows as Hyukjae turns towards an open glass door and into a hallway that leads into the reception of the restaurant. "We've been looking for a new take-out place, actually."

He gets a chance to look around properly. The restaurant isn't huge, there's space for about 30 people at most. It's modernly furnished, but with tasteful traditional Chinese decorations. The overall feel is very cozy, and the fact that the owner of the restaurant emerges from the kitchen doors as soon as they're inside to greet them even adds to the feeling.

"Hyukjae!" the man smiles and Hyukjae steps up to hug him.

"Han Geng, hi!"

The man, Han Geng, pulls away and observes Donghae curiously. "Who's this? Aren't you and Siwon-"

Hyukjae almost panicks as his voice rises. "This is Donghae! A new friend," he laughs nervously and both Donghae and Han Geng stare at him as if he'd grown a second head. "Siwon's at home." He gives Han Geng a pointed look that tells something Donghae can definitely not understand.

"Alright...," Han Geng turns towards the tables and spots a one for two people. "Let's get you seated then! There are menus on the table, a waiter will join you soon." Donghae and Hyukjae thank him and follow a short waitress to their table. She smiles and pours them two glasses of water to let them choose their meals in peace.

"Everything sounds so good...," Donghae his lips and Hyukjae nods, laughing.

"Everything tastes good too!"

They eventually choose their meals and fall  into comfortable chatter while their stomachs growl in need, waiting for their dishes to come.

 

Two hours later, Donghae admits they've might have made a mistake. A mistake of ordering two beers to go with their meals. Two beers that in no time turned into four beers, to six beers. And the two tequila shots didn't help either. He admits it when they're both giggling like little girls over a stupid joke that wasn't actually even funny. Hyukjae's blubbering and laughing and Donghae's in danger of falling down when they finally make their way out of the restaurant. They're leaning on each other and fortunately the street is remotely empty so they're not bumping into too many passerbys.

They stop for a breather on a bus stop. Hyukjae's catching his breath. Suddenly, he places a hand on Donghae's thigh and turns his face towards the brunette.

"What?" Donghae grins, but his smile dies down as Hyukjae doesn't answer it. "Is something wrong?" He grows worried in a matter of seconds.

"No, or maybe, but mostly no." Hyukjae nods.

"Uh, okay...," Donghae is confused, and the alcohol in his system makes his already slow brain move like a turtle stuck in quicksand.

"We slept together, Donghae. We slept together and for some reason we tattooed my number on your thigh, and that was a mistake."

"Uhm, yeah, it was."

"NOT... the sleeping together part, I would do it again," Hyukjae's slurring his words. "Okay, yes it was... it was. Donghae, it was a mistake, but not why you might think..."

Donghae's heart jumps up to his throat, his eyes widen, sweat rises up to his forehead and he's focusing each of his brain cells to burn into his mind what Hyukjae's about to say. He's finally getting an answer to his question, the question that has been keeping him awake at night for days. His mind decides to ignore Hyukjae's proclamation about how he'd sleep with Donghae again.

"It's because... because," Hyukjae manages to say before he throws up on his own shoes.

Donghae manages to drag half-dead Hyukjae into their apartment and tuck him to sleep on the couch before passing out in his own bed. Hyukjae's gone in the morning.

 

Donghae's head pounds as he crawls to Kyuhyun's room and flops himself between Kyuhyun and Sooyoung, who instead of raging just pet his head.

"What happened last night?" Kyuhyun asks after they've settled themselves into a comfortable sandwich. "Wasn't that Hyukjae on the sofa?"

"Yeah...," Donghae mutters.

"He slept over? So did you get drunk together again?" Sooyoung's confused.

"Yeah, we hung out and went out to eat and the restaurant had such cheap beer and you know how I feel about cheap beer," Donghae wails.

"Why are you so sad?" Sooyoung pouts and pinches his cheek.

Donghae sighs and tells them how Hyukjae told him how they slept together and was about to tell him why actually everything was such a big deal if the part didn't actually bother Hyukjae, but ended up throwing up everywhere and passing out on their sofa. Kyuhyun snorts and pats Donghae's head. "Listen, you will find out eventually."

"Yeah, I agree. Don't ruin your chances of friendship with Hyukjae by forcing him to tell you," Sooyoung nods. "You will find out when the time is right."

"I guess you're right...," Donghae sighs and crosses his arms.

 

Henry and Ryeowook take Donghae out for beers a few days later to cheer him up. Hyukjae hasn't contacted Donghae but with Sooyoung's advice, Donghae lets him be and wallow in his shame until he's ready to talk to Donghae again.

They're at the place Tiffany works at and she's giving them secret new samples of new import beers from Europe while gushing over how cute Ryeowook and Henry look together. It's one of the first times the so-called-couple have made an appearance outside together and Donghae is kind of entertained watching them. He's used to Henry being such a confident man with the ladies and with Ryeowook, he's shyer and quieter, clearly getting used to the whole dating a boy- thing.

Donghae's never thought about dating a boy, but watching Ryeowook and Henry and with the taste of beer on his tongue a sudden idea runs through his head. Briefly, but it still makes him jump slightly. "I would do it again" Hyukjae's drunken slurring pops to his mind. Would Hyukjae really? And most importantly... would Donghae be ready to do it again?

He shakes the thought away with a gulp of beer. He has no interest in sleeping with Hyukjae again, he doesn't even know why he's considering it. Not that there's nothing wrong with Hyukjae, quite the opposite. He's good looking and funny, awkward in an oddly charming way and Donghae feels quite comfortable around him. He can't deny that if Hyukjae was a girl, he'd definitely be interested. He laughs at himself, drinks some more and shakes his head again.

Donghae's eyes wonder towards Henry and Ryeowook. Henry's smiling from ear to ear as Ryeowook kisses his cheek and they both laugh. He smiles at them.

He decides to order another beer. After finishing his second one, he finds himself a girl to make out with, just to distract himself from the confusing thoughts running around in his head.

 

Hyukjae finally contacts him again. He calls him five days after the whole business with bus stop confessions and throwing up on Donghae's shoes, apologizes and asks if he could make up it all by bringing Donghae some take-out burgers with extra fries. Donghae agrees, happy that they're friends again.

Everything seems remotely normal when Hyukjae comes to their place. To Donghae's pleasant surprise, even the masters of friendly bullying, Sooyoung and Kyuhyun have the decency to not tease either of them. Not that they're really there, because it's their monthly date night and they leave pretty much as soon as Hyukjae comes in. Donghae and Hyukjae are left together in the livingroom to watch some lame drama that's currently on the television.

Suddenly, Hyukjae yawns. "Sorry, I'm really tired."

Donghae looks worried. "Haven't you slept well?"

"Not really, there's been... some issues."

"Issues with what?" Donghae's honestly getting concerned. Hyukjae looks a tad bit uncomfortable and shoves a few fries in his mouth before replying.

"Nothing, you don't need to worry," he shoots Donghae a nervous smile.

Donghae shrugs, lets the thing go and returns to staring blankly at the television.

Only about ten minutes pass and Donghae notices Hyukjae's snoring. "You really are tired...," he mutters as Hyukjae's head nods back and forth. He gently kicks him with his foot but as there's no response, he sighs and gets up to get a blanket from the armchair on the other side of the room. As he gets back and spreads the blanket over Hyukjae's long body, Hyukjae grabs his hand.

Donghae stops and drops the blanket, but Hyukjae doesn't let go. "...What?" Donghae whispers, but Hyukjae only mutters something inaudible. It's clear he's asleep, but his grip is still strong. He even goes as far as to interlace his fingers with Donghae's, who just stares, very confused.

He just stands there, Hyukjae's hand in his, for a good two minutes before Hyukjae lets go and stuffs his hands inside the blanket. Donghae takes a few slow steps back and seats himself in the armchair. He studies Hyukjae's sleeping features for a minute before it gets a little creepy and turns to look at the television, all the while thinking what he really thinks about the whole thing that just happened.

 

"How do you know a guy is interested in you?" Donghae asks off-handedly from Ryeowook when he's cooking dinner for all of them. They're the only two in the kitchen, Henry's watching Canada play hockey and Kyuhyun's getting Sooyoung from work. Ryeowook stops stirring his pot and turns to stare at Donghae.

"What?" Ryeowook squeaks.

Donghae kind of regrets asking Ryeowook, but continues nevertheless. "I think Hyukjae is into me..."

"Really?!" Ryeowook almost drops his spoon.

"I'm not sure, that's why I'm asking," Donghae mutters and studies his own hands.

"Why are you asking me?" The tinier male of the two midgets crosses his arms and pouts.

"Because you're my only gay friend," Donghae says as if it's the most obvious thing on the planet.

Ryeowook clicks his tongue and shakes his head. "Well, is he into guys?" Donghae nods. "Okay, does he ever text you first?" Donghae nods again.

Before Ryeowook gets to ask his next question, Donghae stops him. "He told me he'd sleep with me again."

Ryeowook's eyes widen and this time he actually drops his spoon. "Everything alright, babe?" comes from the livingroom. "YEAH, YEAH!" Ryeowook screams way too excited. "Tell me everything," he whispers as he gets uncomfortably close to Donghae. So, Donghae tells him. He tells him about the whole hand-holding thing and everything he could remember. Ryeowook listens with his hands over his lips, wiggling in excitement.

When Donghae's done, he asks; "Well, what do you think?"

Ryeowook just answers with a smirk as he goes back to his cooking, leaving Donghae confused.

 

"DUDE, he's so into you."

Donghae regrets telling Ryeowook anything when that's the first thing Henry screams into his phone on the next morning.

"He wants you, Donghae, he ing wants you."

"Calm down, you beaver," Kyuhyun mutters. They're sitting in the breakfast table and Kyuhyun can hear Henry's yelling all the way from Donghae's phone. "What's he screaming about?" he asks and Donghae lifts his forefinger up as a signal that he'll tell Kyuhyun in a second. Kyuhyun grunts, shrugs and continues messing around with his own phone.

"Donghae, I'm telling you... he wants you," Henry sounds way more excited than he actually should be about the whole thing.

"How do you know that?" Donghae gets up from the table and walks to the living room. "And so what if he is? It's not like I'm interested..."

"Then why would you ask Ryeowook if he's interested?" he can hear the smirk in Henry's voice.

"...Just curious, okay."

"Okay, okay, yeah, yeah. All I'm saying is that just give it a chance," Henry sniggers.

"Give what a chance?" Donghae asks, confused. He doesn't get a reply because Henry hangs up the phone call. He sighs and stuffs his phone back into the pocket of his sweats. He drags his feet back to the kitchen where Kyuhyun's curiously staring at him.

"Well? What was that all about?" he raises his bushy eyebrows.

Donghae sighs for the umpteenth time and starts explaining everything he told to Ryeowook and everything Ryeowook told to Henry. Kyuhyun stays quiet and listens, occasionally nodding and muttering little words like 'alright' and 'yeah'.

After Donghae's done, they sit in silence until Kyuhyun breaks it.

"Dude, he's totally into you."

 

It's one of those beer in your underwear-kind of nights with Henry and Kyuhyun and another stupid movie full of s and , when the topic of Hyukjae comes up again.

"So, have you thought about what I told you?" Henry asks with a grin. Donghae rolls his eyes.

"What did you tell him?" Kyuhyun murmurs from the couch and pokes Henry's head. Henry slaps his hand.

"I told him to give Hyukjae a chance, like, you know, I gave Ryeowook a chance," Henry shrugs at Kyuhyun and turns to look at Donghae pointetly.

"No, I haven't," Donghae crosses his arms. "And I won't."

"Why nooooooot?" Henry fake cries.

"Yeah, why not?" Kyuhyun joins in. They both look at the messy haired brunette in confusion. He shakes his head and sits up properly on the couch. "Honestly, Donghae, I can see how miserable you are when all of us are now dating and you aren't. Hyukjae's nice, funny and you already had with him and didn't, like, die. What's the big deal?"

Henry beams like the sun, getting more enthusiasm from Kyuhyun's words. "YEAH! Finally something I can agree with." Kyuhyun flips Henry off but they high-five anyway.

"Broaden your horizons," Kyuhyun sniggers and wiggles his arms around.

"You guys are drunk, I''m going to bed," Donghae huffs, annoyed and gets up. He stomps to his room and leaves Kyuhyun and Henry in the living room without even saying goodnight.

Donghae's confused and disappointed in his friends. He's straight and no matter how much Henry enjoys being in a relationship with a boy and how nice Hyukjae is, he has no interest in starting a relationship with him. He can't just decide to be into guys all of the sudden.

Or, that's what he keeps telling himself that night when he's tossing and turning in his bed, trying to catch an eyeful of sleep while weird, slightly drunken thoughts of Hyukjae and Henry and Kyuhyun's words keep running through his head. He really hates those two, because now he has the idea in his head and he can't stop thinking about all the what if's.

He is straight, true. But on the other hand, Hyukjae possesses all the qualities of Donghae's ideal type of girl, just in a wrong type of body. Okay, there's nothing wrong with Hyukjae's body, is just that he's a man and Donghae has never had any interest in another man before.

"Just give him a chaaaaaance~" he can hear Henry's ghostly voice singing in his head.

"You've got nothing to loooooooose~" this time it's Kyuhyun and Donghae groans, begging for the imaginary two to get away from his head. But they don't and Donghae can't possibly fall asleep with all going through his mind so he springs up and stomps to the kitchen to get something to eat and lull him into a sweet, full-stomach coma.

"I hate you," he whispers to Henry sleeping on the sofa while he passes him, but he only half-means it.

 

Donghae comes home from work only to realize there's yet another double date happening in his livingroom. He has managed to keep down his Hyukjae thoughts but seeing the lovey-dovey couples in his own home makes him remember how miserable he apparently is according to Kyuhyun. And how that sadness would be fixed with asking Hyukjae out.

He groans as Kyuhyun smirks at him and stomps past them, slamming his door shut.

"Kyuhyun," instantly Sooyoung's voice takes that threatening tone. "What did you do this time?"

"It was Henry!"

"Henry?" Ryeowook sounds equally as scary. Sooyoung doesn't even bother staying to listen Kyuhyun and Henry's sad excuses to explain why Donghae's upset this time, but gets up from the place she's sitting and at and follows Donghae into his room. Ryeowook just settles for glaring at Henry. Kyuhyun sighs.

 

Meanwhile, in Donghae's room, the brunette is sitting on his bed, furiously going through his social medias as Sooyoung walks in and quietly shuts the door behind him. "Can I sit down?" she asks and Donghae nods. "What's the problem?" Sooyoung places a hand on Donghae's shoulder. The man sighs. He doesn't like lying to people he trusts, so he tells her.

"I told the guys that Hyukjae might like me, like you know, like me. And now they keep pressuring me to ask him out and stuff, and I'm not ready for something like that." He puts his phone away. "I don't know if I ever will be ready for something like that, to be honest."

"Oh," Sooyoung pouts. "I can see why you're upset, but you do know all they want is the best or you? Honestly, they're idiots, but they'd never make you do something that would hurt you on purpose."

"I know that," he rubs his forehead. Suddenly, he freezes to think. "Sooyoung, can I trust you?"

"Of course you can," Sooyoung smiles.

"No, but really trust you. I can forgive you telling my Finding Nemo story to everyone, but please don't share this with anyone. Not even Kyuhyun."

Sooyoung pauses. "Of course, I promise."

"Listen, the thing is... I'm really confused." Donghae's voice goes down to a whisper. "And after all that stuff the guys said, I got even more confused. I mean, he's a great guy. He's got style and stuff. Funny, a little shy but yet confident, polite but knows how to have fun... that pretty much sounds like all my ex-girlfriends, right?"

Sooyoung nods. "It does, yeah."

"I don't like guys in that way, and I can't imagine myself kissing him or having with him or anything. But I like having him near me, and laughing with him and sharing secrets with him, but with all this stuff going through my mind, I... I don't know..."

"It seems like you really enjoy your friendship with him."

"I do. But now that I know he likes me, all the little touches and looks and smiles and words he gives me, they just seem... so much more. And it makes me feel really, really... confused."

"I see, I see," Sooyoung purses her lips as she thinks. "This kind of sounds like all those feelings you go through when you have your first crush as a kid," she laughs quietly. Donghae smiles, too.

"You're right. That's exactly how it feels, now that I think about it."

They both smile quietly for a second. Donghae seems visibly calmer already.

"Donghae," Sooyoung breaks the silence. "Just let your head clear a bit. Go out for a run, go someplace quiet and really think about this. You will figure out what's the best for you. I'll tell Henry and Kyuhyun to stop teasing you and let you make your own decisions."

"Thank you so much," Donghae grins. Sooyoung stands up and walks to give Donghae a quick hug.

"Good luck," she whispers as she leaves the room.

 

Donghae does exactly what Sooyoung suggests, he packs a backpack with water and healthy snacks, digs out his favorite running shoes and leaves without anyone noticing. It's only 5 a.m, but he could hardly sleep so instead of trying, he gets up and running. There's a place a few miles from their house, a hill surrounded by a small forest. It's always peaceful and quiet, save from a few joggers and dog walkers.

It's a little chilly, but it wakes him up good and gets him to run faster. He makes it to the top of the hill quite fast and stops when he reaches the peak. There's a small bench on the lone road that he uses to stretch his burning legs. He gazes upon the part of the city he can see from the hill, a small suburb full with expensive houses and big yards. He smiles. It's the type of neighborhood he'd love to live in. With a family, a couple of kids, a big dog and a great job. It's been his dream since he was a kid. He'd love to build his own house.

His life is currently a bit far away from his dream. He's single, his job barely pays for his living and the closest thing to a dog he has is Henry.

He's interrupted by a set of footsteps coming from his left. He turns his head towards the noise and sees a man running uphill with long, graceful steps. As he gets closer, he realizes that the sweaty face and long limbs belong to someone he's seen before, Hyukjae's friend - Siwon.

He nods at him and raises the corners of his mouth into a small smile. Siwon passes him and only glares, and Donghae gets startled. Siwon looks extremely scary.

The tall man passes him but suddenly the steps come to a stop.

"I'm sorry," Donghae hears and he turns his head to look at Siwon. The black haired man takes a couple of long steps towards Donghae. "I did not mean to scare you, I'm sorry."

"It's... alright...," Donghae's confused that Siwon is even talking to him.

"No, it's not. Just because I've got personal issues right now it's not an excuse to be so rude towards you," Siwon bows his head lightly. "It's nice to see you...-"

"I'm Donghae."

"It's nice to see you, Donghae, have an amazing day,"  Siwon gives him an obviously forced smile. "Goodbye."

Siwon turns and starts running again. "Bye...?" Donghae says quietly, still pretty baffled about the whole meeting.

 

When Donghae returns back to the apartment, it's around 7 a.m. Kyuhyun is still not awake, and the whole flat is completely quiet. Donghae strips off his shoes and his sweaty socks and heads towards his room.

His phone, the one he left at home during his run, was blinking rapidly towards him, implying there was a message for him. When opening his screen, he realizes there's more than a message for him. There's two phone calls and five messages from Hyukjae.

"are you awake?"

"can i drop by in a while?"

"donghae?"

"please reply when you wake up."

"donghae please?"

Donghae frowns and quickly dials Hyukjae's number, wondering if something's wrong.

"Hello?" a quiet Hyukjae replies.

"Hi, I'm awake now, I mean, I've been awake for a few hours but I went for a run without my phone... what's up?"

"Uh, I know this is weird, but can I come by your place? Like, right now."

"Did something happen?"

"Not really... uh, I couldn't sleep at all because of, uh... I just couldn't. So if I come there and we go grab some breakfast?"

"Sure, I'll take a quick shower but you can come here."

"Okay, thank you. See you in a few."

"Yeah, see you, bye."

"Bye."

Donghae drops his phone onto his mattress and gets up, throwing his dirty hoodie and shirt somewhere in the corner. He walks out of his room and into the bathroom to take a shower, so he wouldn't smell terrible. He's confused about Hyukjae's behavior as much as he was of Siwon's, but he decides to not ask questions or think about it too much. If there's something going on with Hyukjae, he'll tell if he wants Donghae to know.

 

Hyukjae comes in after about twenty minutes, he looks tired and has wrapped a giant scarf around his neck, covering his mouth. But with dark circles under his eyes, he still manages to smile that gummy smile when he laughs at Donghae's hair poking in all possible directions. He reaches out his hand to smooth out Donghae's hair and they both smile.

"Let's head out?" Donghae asks after Hyukjae's put his hair in place.

"Sure, where do you want to go?"

"Sunny's coffee place, I think she's at work right now?" Hyukjae nods at that.

"Yeah, she is... did you know she and Sungmin started dating?" he smiles.

"Really? Well, I can't say I'm surprised."

Hyukjae just chuckles and watches as Donghae pulls a jacket on and ties his ratty old shoes. "How long have you had those shoes?" He smiles again.

"Uh, since high school?" Donghae blushes a bit.

"Maybe we should go shoe shopping," Hyukjae looks at his own clean, brand new pair.

"I don't think I have money for a pair like that...," Donghae says sheepishly.

"...I'll treat you," Hyukjae suddenly says. Donghae stops in his tracks. "As a thank you... for being such a great... person."

"Oh my God, really? You don't have to!" Donghae protests but Hyukjae just grins, grabs Donghae's hand and leads him out the door.

 

"So do you want to talk about what kept you up all night?" Sunny asks while serving two big lattes to the guys. Hyukjae looks flustered and hides his face behind his hands. Sunny smiles and pats his head once her hands are free.

"Just a rough night," Hyukjae replies to her smile with his own, very nervous one.

"Yeah, you look pretty rough, too," Sunny pouts. "Listen, I'm gonna give you a refill on the house today."

Hyukjae nods and Sunny goes back behind the counter to do whatever. The two sip on their coffees silently and Donghae has the chance to study Hyukjae’ face. He looks extremely tired, with bags under his puffy eyes. He almost looks as if he’s been crying. Donghae wants to ask about it but he doesn’t. Yet, there’s something about Hyukjae’s tired self that looks good in the early morning sun shining through the window.

Hyukjae catches him staring and hides his face behind his sleeve. “I look really tired, I know.” He laughs, embarrassed.

Instantly, Donghae’s hand raises up to pull Hyukjae’s down. “You don’t have to hide,” he says quietly.

Hyukjae stares at him with wide eyes, and then they both burst into laughter at the same time.

 

As Hyukjae promised, they go shoe shopping after. He recommends all kinds of expensive brands and Donghae’s completely lost so he lets Hyukjae choose what’s the best fit for him. They settle for pretty simple black Nikes, that Hyukjae pays even if Donghae protests so loud that Hyukjae has to slap a hand on his mouth. They raid through another few clothing stores and Hyukjae leaves with six bags. Donghae has one, and it’s only full of white t-shirts.

They head out for another coffee when it’s around noon, in a small coffee shop neither of them have ever visited.

“This is nice,” Donghae comments as they’ve settled down with coffee and some pastries. He means the coffee shop, but low-key also means the whole hanging out with Hyukjae- thing.

“It is, we need to do this again,” Hyukjae grins, catching onto what Donghae actually mean.

A piece gets stuck in Donghae’s throat as he realizes they’re kind of on a date. And he’s enjoying it more than he’s enjoyed anything in a long time. Hyukjae has probably considered their meals and hang-outs before as dates, but this is the first time Donghae feels like it’s one. Probably because now he knows Hyukjae likes him.

Then all of the sudden, a rush runs through his whole body. The words come out in a blur, accompanied by a very red face:

“DOYOUWANTTOGOOUTWITHME?”

He blurts and Hyukjae stops mid-sip.

“Um… What?” He looks like he’s not sure what he heard, if he caught even a single word.

“I’m just… Do you want to go out with me?”

Hyukjae stares, puts his cup down and on his face reads an expression Donghae can’t understand.

“Donghae, I have a boyfriend.”

Donghae’s face falls. He mutters something inaudible.

“What? Sorry, I can’t catch what you’re saying,” Hyukjae laughs nervously.

“I meant like, as friends…” Donghae says, but he doesn’t mean it. He’s just trying to cover up the trainwreck that just happened. “I’m… uh, straight.”

“Oh,” It’s Hyukjae’s time to be flustered now. “Of course, as friends…  yeah.”

The atmosphere gets very awkward, very fast. “I… actually got to go now…” Donghae says. “I’ll text you.”

He shoots him a genuine smile a he gets up, apologizing that he has to go so soon and rushes out, leaving behind equally as embarrassed Hyukjae.

 

Donghae doesn’t move from his room for the next few hours. He feels like . He replies to Hyukjae’s message about a movie next week, but besides that, he just lies on his place, occasionally sighing.

As said, he feels like . Mostly, because as it started to seem like everything was falling into place and was making sense, the whole thing its head like someone had just broken a puzzle Donghae had trying to solve during the last few weeks.

“Wait a minute…” Donghae suddenly whispers and sits up.

One thing is suddenly completely clear. If Hyukjae has a boyfriend and has had a boyfriend during all the time Donghae’s known him, it must have meant that the reason Hyukjae was so embarrassed and shocked about sleeping with Donghae was that he cheated on his boyfriend. And all the avoiding of the subject and Hyukjae’s strange acting kind of made sense now.

There was so much to wrap his brain around. So he decides to wait until Kyuhyun gets home so he’d have someone to talk to.

 

Three hours, and two beers later, Donghae has somehow explained the situation to Kyuhyun, all from the strange feelings to the boyfriend, pouring out everything that has gone through his mind this confusing day.

After Donghae stops speaking, they sit quietly for a while, until Kyuhyun speaks.

“Do you know who the boyfriend is?”

Donghae shakes his head.

“He didn’t tell anything. Just that he has one.”

“Okay.”

“Are you alright, then? You said you kind of had some… feelings for him.”

“I guess I am, it wasn’t like I got my heart broken or anything. I don’t actually know how I feel… relieved? Sad? I really don’t know.”

Kyuhyun rubs his back with one hand. “At least you don’t need to worry about it anymore. And you took a big chance.”

“Yeah…”  Donghae takes a big swig from his beer. “I guess it’s better this way.”

Kyuhyun gives him a small smile.

“We should go out on Friday, just to get your mind off things.” He says as he gets up from the kitchen table they’ve been sitting by.

Donghae nods with a smile.

 

Friday rolls by and in the past couple of days Donghae hasn’t really been talking to Hyukjae, besides replying to the few texts he’s sent him. But yet, he’s been thinking about nothing but Hyukjae with very mixed feelings.

He’s updated the whole gang about the situation and they’ve shown their support by stacking their fridge full  of  vodka and beer.

Donghae’s fixing his hair in the bathroom when Sooyoung sneaks in. She has a half-empty wine glass in her hand and she’s curled her hair and done her makeup.

“You look good,” Donghae comments.

“You too!” Sooyoung replies cheerily. “It’s been a while since I got to dress up like this.” She smiles and flips her hair. “Are you doing alright?”

“I am.” Donghae answers honestly. “I already told Kyuhyun, I guess it’s better this way. Life just goes on.”

Sooyoung gives him a lazy hug and rests her chin on his strong shoulder. She pulls back and they smile at each other.

“Now, come on, we’re starting a drinking game!” she says cheerily and pulls Donghae out from the bathroom.

 

In a couple of hours, they’re all more or less wasted. They decide to head out for the club, but first they need to convince Henry to put his shirt back on. It proves out to be a little more difficult than first anticipated because Ryeowook is hanging on his neck and they’re making out in a very sloppy, messy and disgusting way.

They finally make it out the door, with Kyuhyun carrying a whiny Ryeowook on his back and Donghae and Sooyoung escorting Henry by both of his hands. The way to the club is clumsy and most of the way they can’t stop cracking up. They have to take a couple of pauses when someone has to pee or Ryeowook tries to escape to God-knows-where.

When they’re at the doors of the crowded club, it takes all of their concentration to act sober enough to get in. Sooyoung manages to get them all in and the first thing they do is order a round of shots to celebrate they all got in.

Ryeowook and Henry sneak out somewhere to make out, Kyuhyun goes on a journey to find a bathroom on his own and Donghae asks Sooyoung to dance. They jam out, laughing at each other until suddenly Sooyoung jabs him with her elbow.

“Donghae!” she tries  to whisper but it comes out as yelling. “Donghae, Hyukjae’s over there!”
Donghae looks baffled and turns his head towards the direction Sooyoung’s pointing at. And there he is - Hyukjae. He’s  talking to someone, Donghae doesn’t know who. He looks very casual and not at all drunk, unlike Donghae who has to focus on not falling down.

“I’m going to go talk to him,” Donghae hiccups and Sooyoung tries to stop him but her grip is weak and Donghae escapes it, stomping towards Hyukjae. He stops right in front of his face and breathes heavily until Hyukjae notices him.

“Uh, Donghae, hi!” Hyukjae’s confused but excited to see Donghae.

“Hi,” Donghae replies, swaying a little. “Hi, you.”

“Hi…? How are you doing? You look… drunk.”

“I am,” Donghae says. “And I’m doing… doing okay.”

“That’s good to hear, I guess. You haven’t really talked to me lately, have you been busy?” Hyukjae takes a sip from the straw in his lime green drink. And something snaps  in Donghae’s drunk head. All the confusion and all the feeling and everything just burst out in a drunken wave of emotions.

“Actually I’m not… ing…  OK!” Donghae slurs.

“Uh, Donghae are you sure you want to talk here?” Hyukjae starts to look uncomfortable.

“I don’t get how you can play with me like that, and me over like that and up with my emotions like that, Hyukjae, I’m an actual ing person too!” Donghae stares the other man straight into the eyes. His voice is starting to break.

“Hey, you’re drunk, I don’t understand what you’re talking-”

“Why did you play me like that if all this time you had a boyfriend? Do you enjoy ing up guys’ feelings or what? Why did you do it?”

“Donghae, what are you-”

Donghae cups his own face in his hands. He takes a few breaths.

“Donghae, are you saying you had feelings for me?” Hyukjae asks. Donghae peeks from behind his hands. “Donghae?”

“ yeah I did! Really confusing, stupid feelings that messed up my head so bad-” Donghae takes a huge breath. “And all because you lead me on for nothing.”

And before Hyukjae can get another word out from his mouth Donghae turns around and walks towards and out the door, with Sooyoung hot on his heels. Leaving behind a very shocked Hyukjae.

 

Sooyoung catches Donghae when he sits down on a bus station. She sits down next to him and they watch a bus pass by.

“Should we go home?” Sooyoung asks quietly. Donghae nods. She stands up and takes Donghae’s hand. Donghae uses his other one to wipe his nose slightly and he sniffs. “Please, don’t cry. Let’s just go home.” Sooyoung says, her voice only a whisper. It hurts her heart to see Donghae so lost, even if it’s mostly because of the alcohol in his system. They’re still real feelings he’s feeling.

“This ,” Donghae says after a while of walking. “This really .”

“I know it does. Let’s go home, it won’t as much in the morning.”

“You promise?” Donghae sniffles. Sooyoung stops them, turns to face Donghae and smiles.

“I promise.”

 

Sooyoung couldn’t keep her promise completely, because Donghae wakes up with the worst hangover of his life. He can barely open his eyes because it hurts. Yet, he still  gets up. He really needs a glass of water and a painkiller.

He opens his door and right away finds Kyuhyun and Henry sleeping on the sofa, tangled in each other and still wearing their coats. Ryeowook nor Sooyoung are nowhere to be seen, but Donghae suspects they’re also somewhere in the apartment. He goes to the bathroom, sighs at his reflection in the mirror and digs a painkiller for himself. He takes it down with a glass of water and leaves the bathroom.

When he steps outside, he sees Sooyoung poking his boyfriend on the couch with her phone on her other hand. Sooyoung notices Donghae and immediately stops doing what she’s doing and goes to Donghae - giving him a long, tight hug.

“Uh, okay,” Donghae mutters and hugs her back. “What was that for?”

Sooyoung pulls back and studies his face. “I thought you’d still be sad.”

“Sad? About what?”  Donghae’s very puzzled.

“Oh.” Sooyoung takes a step back. “You don’t remember.”

“What?! Remember what?” Donghae raises his voice by accident but Sooyoung hushes him since everyone else is still sleeping.

“Come on, I’ll tell you,” she says, pulling Donghae back to his own room.

 

“...And after that you ran out.” Sooyoung ends explaining to Donghae what happened with him and Hyukjae last night.

Donghae’s face gets fifty shades paler than it originally is and he feels like he’s going to die.

“Did I really…,” Donghae wails. “DID I REALLY?”

Sooyoung nods, biting her lip. “You really did.”

“Oh God, oh dear God, this is not… this is not how I imagined it to go down, oh GOD NO.” Donghae gets up and starts pacing around the room. “I was never going to tell him, I didn’t want him to know! Why is drunk Donghae so DUMB?” He’s almost crying. “First the tattoo, NOW THIS?”

He falls back down onto the bed and buries his face into a pillow.

“I’m never drinking again, Sooyoung. Never.”

 

Two days pass and Donghae tries his best to live his life without dying of shame.  Hyukjae’s sent him some messages, but Donghae is not mentally prepared to open them and see what he has to say.

He goes to work, comes back home and watches Netflix on Kyuhyun’s laptop most of the day. The atmosphere in the apartment is a little tense, Kyuhyun knows all about what happened and Donghae knows he wants to say something but doesn’t dare. He also knows Donghae tries his best to move on from all that’s happened, and if everyone would try and talk about it with him, it would make everything so much harder.

But even if Kyuhyun - and everyone else - try their best to make everything easy for Donghae, there’s something that s everything up completely. Or someone.

And that someone is Hyukjae, behind their door at 9 p.m on that day.

It’s Kyuhyun who opens the door and he kind of just stares at Hyukjae. He doesn’t ask anything, though. Just lets him in with a very pointed look.

Donghae’s watching the laptop when Hyukjae opens the door to his room. Donghae’s eyes widen and in panic, he slams down the lid of the laptop.

“Were you watching adult movies?” Hyukjae cracks a quiet joke. Donghae doesn’t laugh. Hyukjae takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t think we need to talk.”

“We do.”

“Seriously,” Donghae sits up too. “I was drunk, I’m sorry for what I said.”

“But did you mean it?”

Donghae looks at him with puzzled eyes.

“Kind of. Not all of it.”

“Well, what were the parts you meant?” Hyukjae asks curiously.

“I didn’t really mean all the mean things I said. I’d never want to  be mean to you,” Donghae says quietly.

“Fair enough.” Hyukjae nods. “But you’re avoiding the subject.”

“I’m not,” Donghae knows Hyukjae caught him.

“You are. And that’s why I  want to talk now.” Hyukjae takes a deep breath before he looks Donghae directly into the eyes and starts talking. “I’m sorry I lead you on. And I’m sorry I never told you about my boyfriend. I was going to tell you, and I was going to tell you that he’s the reason I was so embarrassed. Because, well, I basically cheated on him with you.” Hyukjae starts studying his own fingers. He feels very nervous. “But then I got to know you, and I realized you have such a big, caring heart and I didn’t want you to know that I cheated on someone with you. I know that’s very stupid.”

“I do kind of understand.”

“Thank you. And that’s not all… Donghae, now you really need to listen. “

Donghae scoots a little closer.

“Me and my boyfriend- Siwon. You probably knew that by now?” Donghae shakes his head. “You didn’t? Oh. Well. Me and Siwon, we haven’t  been doing very good lately. We’ve  been fighting a lot. And I guess…  I guess that’s why I ended up sleeping with you in the first place.” Hyukjae cracks a little smile. But Donghae knows it’s not a happy one, more like a defense mechanism. “And I guess that’s why… I sort of fell for you too.”

Donghae’s eyes widen. “So you actually were into me? Then why did you-”

“I don’t know why I said that when you asked me out. It just kind of came out. I’ve been in a very strange place with Siwon and I was really scared. If we broke up, I’d have no one. I’d be stuck with my feelings for you that you couldn’t reproduce. So I  figured I’d be better with Siwon than alone, no matter how bad we were doing.”

“Hyukjae, that’s not good… You shouldn’t think that way…” Donghae whispers.

“I know, and I’ve been very torn after all that happened on Friday. But I think I’ve done the right thing.” He nods. His voice is very shaky.

“What did you do?”

“I confessed to Siwon that I cheated. It was the last straw. We’re… no longer together.” He raises his teary eyes to Donghae. “I’m taking a huge risk here. And there’s just one thing I need to ask you.”

“What?” Donghae holds his breath.

“Will you still be my friend, no matter how this turns out?” Hyukjae’s voice sounds so broken and small that Donghae doesn’t know what to say, just leans forward and hugs Hyukjae, who bursts into shaky sobs in Donghae’s arms.

“Of course. Of course I will, Hyukjae, always.”

Hyukjae pulls back enough to look at Donghae with a small smile. Donghae looks back, smiling too.

And then he kisses him.

 

Two weeks later and they’re sitting in the waiting room for a laser removal clinic. They’re giggling at something on Donghae’s phone, leaning on each other.

“Lee Donghae,” a voice suddenly calls from down the hallway. Donghae looks up to the doctor smiling at him from a doorway.

“Well, I guess I got to go,” Donghae stands up. Hyukjae takes a hold of his wrist before he can walk away.

“Are you completely sure you want to get rid of it?” He grins, with a teasing tone in his voice. “What if you hit your head and forget my phone number, or something?” He pouts like a puppy, but Donghae just laughs.

“Listen, it would need to be a hell of a hit to make me ever forget you,” Donghae his cheek and starts walking towards the doctor, leaving behind a foolishly grinning Hyukjae.