Something told me not to let him get in that car. I thought I was being paranoid.

"I love you." I'd say for the very first time ever, I didn't regret it. His face brightned up as he stared at me for a short moment, looking into my eyes, replying, "And I love you."

We had been together for six months, but for some reason never let our tongues carry the heavy phrase "I love you". Sure, we've texted it to each other plenty, but it really isn't the same. Actually hearing those beautiful words from someone you care so deeply about. To some, half a year may not seem like long, but when you're with the one person you're so very fond of, the one person that feels like home, it's like a lifetime. Six months felt like forever, like it wouldn't end.

The belief that it wouldn't end is when you start to rely on fate. Belief. Belief? The word itself cannot be spelled without the letters L, I, or E. Believing something is a lie, belief is a lie.

After he got into the car and drove off, I walked into his apartment, which I found myself spending more time in than my own. I went into the kitchen as my stomach sank, believing it was just thirst. As I drank a sip of water from my bottle, I looked into the open of his complex. A sudden surge of memories blinded my sight, I was having flashbacks of our greatest times together.

He'd lift me on his shoulders and run around the couch as i begged to be put down while hysterically laughing, simultaneously lightly slapping his back.

He'd sing my favorite song while cooking my favorite food while I sat on the couch watching tv, acting as if his singing were interrupting my show, but he knew I cherished it most.

I'd run my hands through his hair as he laid there on my lap, watching and laughing at a stupid "romantic" love story. We both thought love stories were overrated, nothing could compare a love story like our own, just the thought was hilarious.

I'd jump out of dark corners, closets, anywhere I could fit without being seen, and scare the crap out of him.

He'd pretend to be mad at me for scaring him, but every time he'd succeed in making me feel guilty about doing so.

I remembered all the times he would kiss me sweetly and passionately, all the times he reminded me of how much enjoyed my company, all the times he reminded me of my worth and beauty.

He was perfect, he is perfect, everything I could ever ask for, my biggest fear, my biggest source of strength. We loved each other, and didn't even have to say it to know it.

He loved me, I loved him.

My phone rings, I answer.

It's not too far I tell myself as I run. I can't feel my legs, there's no time to waster, no time to wait for a bus.

My legs start to tingle, I look up to the sky, At the moment, I'm not sure if it's my world, or the real world that begins to darken.

"Not much farther." I say to myself. It begins to rain, the rain drops sting for many moments, why does the rain sting as it touches me, it's just water. I think to myself, laughing at how messed up life can be.

I run through the doors, soaking wet. I trip over my own feet trying to get to the front desk.

"Jackson Wang, what's his room number?" I ask frantically through tears, my voice shaking.

At least his room is only on the fourth floor. Elevator dings, blah blah blah, I don't pay attention much, I just know I have to get to him as soon as possible.

I finally find his room and rush in, I see the doctor as I pass by him, going straight to Jackson's side, laying my hand upon his. The doctor walks to the end of his bed and looks at me.

"He was in a bad accident, we ran some tests, and he seems to be fine, just a couple of broken bones. Right now, he's just resting, which is a good sign." A wave of relief flows over me as I sit there, holding his soft hand.

Before I know it, I'm asleep, I have no idea for how long. I just remember being awakened by the heart monitors flatlining beep. Frightened, my first instinct was to call for the doctor or a nurse, anyone who could help.

But again, relief fills my thoughts when I realized Jackson has unhooked himself from the machine. I looked at him for awhile, like i hadn't seen him in years. Finally, I speak up and fill the silence.

"You scared me. I thought yo-" he cuts me off.

"Who are you?" my heart drops. My hand dangles to the floor. I stare him in the eyes.

"What?" I dont even let him say anything else.

Tears begin pouring, I stand up, and run to find a doctor, wiping my tears. Soon enough, I find a doctor and drag him to the room. My tears dont seem to stop.

I lift my hand as I refer to Jackson, laying in the bed,

"He doesn't remember me." Dr.Taei looks so confused and begins moving Jackson's bad out of the door, to take more tests I'm assuming.

I'm left there in the room, alone, for hours. I fall to my knees and look to the ceiling, as if I'm trying to keep my tears from falling, as if; if they don't fall it means I'm not crying. My positions move throughout the time I'm there. I sit in the chair, my head in my hands. I sit on the floor, staring at nothing,and into the distance.

Dr.Taei comes in and delievers the bad news.

"He doesn't remeber the past year. He has amnesia. It's too early to tell if he will ever regain his memory."

I start to laugh. Laugh because the tears on my cheeks aren't enough to tell someone I'm hurting. Laugh because life ; and the only way to get through it is laughter. Laugh because the noise Jackson loved the most might be able to mend my heart. Laugh because Jackson admired it most and if he hears it he might remember everything that happened the last year.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but I think it's best you don't hang around him for the time being, if he regains memory, it should come naturally." He trails off. After a bit I stop listening, but not on purpose. It was like my ears purposely shut off because they knew I couldn't have handled it.

It feels like days after I stand up and muster up the courage to leave. At this point I dont know if it's safe to walk or not. Not really caring about life, decide to walk home, it isn't too far from the hospital. The whole time I walked home I was in a daze. Is this really happening? Why was it happening? The town is so small, I know for a fact we will run into each other. Was I being overdramatic? It was just six months, it should take six months to get over him, if he never remembers.

Reaching my own apartment, I collapse onto my bed, my limbs are numb, my head hurts, everything hurts. I fall asleep.

The next day, I realize there's no food in my fridge, Ihad been spending a lot of time at Jackson's, my apartment was like a vacation home. I have to the store, so I get ready.

I get the basics; bread, butter, milk, eggs, cereal. Nothing too dramatic, I don't plan on cooking any time soon. As I go to to the cereal aisle, from the corner of my eye I realize my favorite cereal is on the highest shelf. I struggle to get it as I see a hand reach up and grab it. The cereal box is directly infront of me now, I take it from whoever was holding it while saying "thank you" and placing it in my cart. I look up and my heart falls as I make eye contact with Jackson.

Right before I turn around, I see his ex girlfriend coming from behind him and latching her arm around his waist, she takes his arm and wraps it around her shoulders.

I grab my stomach as a sharp pain reminds everything that has happened . Jackson's ex girlfriend, is who he remembers as his girlfriend.

"Are you ok?" he asks concerned. I nod, turning around, making my way to the cash register. I cant wait to go home.

I walk through my entrance and place everything on the island. I cover my mouth as I begin to sob, my other hand squeezes my heart. I cant feel anything anymore.

***** A Few Weeks Later *****

I run into Jackson a couple more times, he still doesn't seem to remember me. I can't help but think it's because he is dating his ex-girlfriend again. Staying around her must keep him from retrieving his memory. At least now, I'm used to seeing him, every time I see him, it hurts less, but still hurts.

After about four weeks pass, and after running into him a little too much, I start to accept the fact his memories might never come back, though it still saddens me.

While I'm at the coffee shop, I run into a guy, who isn't Jackson, but he has a charm to him.

"Hi." I smile and initiate a conversation with him. He looks up kind of startled, he's like a little nerd, with his glasses on.

"Oh. Hi!" He says quirkly, he extends his hand, and I shake it. As I touch his hand, I can't help but feel like Jackson is going to pop out from somewhere and get jealous. I try my best to push the feeling aside.

"Can I sit with you? While we drink our coffees?" I ask politely, scared that he will reject my offer.

"Sure, why not?"

We sit there just talking for awhile, about any and everything, for once I don't feel sad. Something about him seems so peaceful, so calm, nice. Before we know it, the shop is closing, we're forced to walk outside.

We stand there in silence, I ask a question.

"Can I have your number?" I smile while my head slightly shakes. He smiles and nods as we exchange numbers.

I go home that night, happy for the first time in a long time. That morning Joseph and I meet for coffee again. I feel comfortable with him even though I only met him the day before.