Before Jiyong is even fully awake, he knows that the space in the bed next to him is empty. His body jerks into a seated position, and he drags his hand up and down the empty spot. It’s completely cold, no evidence that Seunghyun had even come to bed last night. He strains his ears to listen to the sounds of the apartment. Everything is silent; the only noise to his ears is the sound of his rapidly beating heart. No mechanical whirl of the coffee maker as Seunghyun meticulously prepared his beverage; no cupboards being opened as Seunghyun searched for items he was forever putting in the wrong places; not even the soothing sound of Seunghyun’s mouth as he beat-boxed absentmindedly. Jiyong doesn’t need to get up and check to know he is alone in the apartment.

The realisation hits him like a physical blow and he slumps back into the sheets. He turns his head to bury his face into the pillows on Seunghyun’s side and takes a deep breath - then another and one more after that. It doesn’t do much to calm him down, more acts as a reminder of what he once had.  He feels his tears start to leak into the pillow and he does nothing to stem their flow. It was only inevitable that it would come to this, but it still hurts – so ing much.

They had been arguing so much lately. Starting off as silly tiffs and then suddenly exploding into full-blown rows.  Last night’s argument had been a real heavyweight, though. Jiyong couldn’t even remember what had started it. But he remembered how it had ended: him screaming in Seunghyun’s face about how he was more invested in making this relationship work, how Seunghyun was ashamed of him, how he doesn’t know if he wants to fight for them anym