This is not proof read and I'll propobably regret this tomorrow

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3:04 am.

 

Those were the numbers flashing in Minseok’s clock on his bedside table. His cellphone’s ringtone had woke him up. What was he thinking when he picked that loud, obnoxious ringtone? Even better, who was the stupid prick that decided on calling him of all people at such ungodly hour? With his head still semi buried in his pillow and without looking at his phone he punched the green button.

 

“What?” He answered sounding more asleep than mad.

 

“Minnieeeeee, why aren’t we dating?” The voice on the other side of line sounded like its owner had had a little too much alcohol in his system but Minseok recognized it anyway. He had been hearing that same voice for almost 10 years now.

 

“Jongdae, are you drunk?” Now Minseok was wake.

 

“Uuuuuh… No, why are you asking?”

 

“Because only drunk you are stupid enough to bother my sleep, . And don’t lie to me, I know how you sound when you’re drunk”

 

“But Minnieeeee… I just had an ephgjfnany”

 

“A what?”

 

“An ephgifnany, hyuuuuuuung. Why aren’t you listening?”

 

“I am listening, Jongdae. And you sound drunk to me. Now tell me where you are so I can pick you up” Minseok said sighing while looking around for his clothes.

 

Jongdae giggled, “I’ll tell you if you don’t tell Minseok,” he said and then he started whispering “I’m really drunk right now” and more giggles followed.

 

“Fine I won’t tell Minseok”

 

“Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. But remember he can’t know” for some weird reason Jongdae kept whispering “I’m in front of his door”

 

“You are in front of my door?” He asked not really believing his friend but still walking to the door of his apartment.

 

“You , you said you wouldn’t tell him”        

 

And suddenly the door Jongdae was leaning his back on was opened and Minseok welcomed a drunk Jongdae that had fallen in front of his feet.

 

“Minnie you are here” Everything turned sunshines and rainbows for Jongdae when he saw his best friend and he extended his arm in the air trying to reach his most beloved hyung.

 

“Jongdae, what the hell are you doing here?” Minseok sounded mad but he still helped his friend getting back on his feet and walking him to the couch. “It’s three in the morning, we are both supposed to be sleeping now”

 

“I know hyung, but I had an ephgifnany”

 

“And what’s an ephgifnany?” he asked sarcastically while laying Jongdae in his couch. He really hoped the Jongdae was not that drunk because he was really fond of his couch and he was not going to clean whatever came out of his best friend.

 

“A revelation of a truth, just like the lady said”

 

“Jongdae, what are you even saying? You are not making any sense. What lady?”

 

“I needed to have an ephgifnany because if I didn’t than I would end up alone for the rest of my life”

 

“Dae, you are still not making sense, and you’re drunk. You can tell me tomorrow, okay? Now, we both have to sleep. I'm going to bring you a blanket”

 

“No, Minnie. Please. I need to tell you this. It’s really important. Like really really reaaaallyyy important”

 

“Jongdae, it’s 3 am. I’m pretty sure it can wait” Minseok stood up and was going to start walking to his room when his drunk friend clung to his right arm and clutched it like his life depended on it.

 

“But Minnie if you go to sleep now how are going to know that I’m in love with you?”

 

Minseok just stood there paralyzed looking at Jongdae who had just confessed to him on a drunken spur and he was now looking at him with puppy eyes while still holding onto his arm desperately.

 

“We are not doing this right now” he said untangling his arm from Jongdae’s.

 

“But Minnie I love you so so so so much” Jondae said pouting.

 

Minseok was walking to the kitchen when he heard sobs coming from the other guy.

 

“Minnie… please. Let me-e… let me love youuuuuu” Jongdae said in between his cries.

 

Minseok knew Jongdae was an ugly crier. He had only seen him like that a couple of times but he remembered that face vividly. The red eyes, the big fat tears, the snot… everything.

 

“No… Jongdae that’s not what I meant” he tried to explain but Jongdae just cried harder. He walked to him again and tried to comfort him “Look… um… what I meant it’s that I don’t want to talk to you about this if you’re drunk” he said and the crying immediately stopped.

 

“So… you love me?” Jongdae asked looking at Minseok with puppy eyes again.

 

“I told you. We’re not doing this while you’re drunk. So get up. You are taking a shower” he said trying to stand Jongdae up and push him towards his bathroom.

 

“But I’m cleeeeeeaaaaaaan. Why don’t you get me coffee or something?” Jongdae answered allowing Minseok to do with him as he pleased.

 

“I’ll make you a coffee while you are in the shower, okay?”

 

Finally they got to the bathroom. Minseok helped Jongdae with his clothes and getting in the shower. Then Minseok took his leave and went to make the coffee he had told Jongdae about. He grabbed two cups and filled them. He prepared one how he knew Jongdae liked it and another one for himself. If they were really going to talk about “that” Minseok needed all the caffeine he could get.

 

They had been friends for almost ten years. They met when they were just starting high school, Minseok was the new transfer student and Jongdae was the kind guy that he had shared sits with in third period. Minseok at first had been a little shy but Jongdae was very outgoing and friendly so he managed to get Minseok out of his shell. They had been inseparable since then. Even when they went to college, they both had chosen different places and they still kept in contact.

 

It would be a lie if Minseok said that in all their years of friendship he had never thought of Jongdae “that way”. He had, and more than once. He just never thought that it was ever going to actually happen.

If Minseok had to pick a word to describe their friendship it would be ‘comfortable’. It was nice to be around Jongdae, when he was with him Minseok felt like everything was easy. His friend was always what Minseok needed: the shoulder to cry on after a bad breakup, the hand that pulled him up when he had fallen, the warm bed to go to after an ugly nightmare and the smile he needed to see when everything else was too much.

 

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Jongdae coming into the kitchen. He was wearing the clothes Minseok had left for him and there was a towel around his neck.

 

“Hey” Jondae said hanging the towel on one the free chairs.

 

“Hey” Minseok answered while Jongdae pulled out a chair from the other side of the table. He sat and he sipped the coffee carefully to not burn himself. He wasn’t completely sober again, he was little less than tipsy at most but he felt better and much more conscious than before the shower.

 

“Do you feel better?” Minseok asked after a couple seconds of silence.

 

“Yeah. The room is not spining anymore”

 

Silences between them had never been uncomfortable and this one wasn’t but at the same time it kind of was. They were comfortable and they knew they needed to talk they just didn’t know where to start.

 

“So… about your epiphany” Minseok was the one that started.

 

“Yeah. I probably shouldn’t have call it that” Jongdae said, and the both chuckled.

 

“There was something about a lady too”

 

“Oh god, don’t remind me” Jongdae said blushing. “I ramble a lot when I’m drunk.

 

“I know”. They were looking themselves in the eyes. “And what was all that about?”

 

“I don’t even know where to start” he said sighing.

 

“Well, how about you start with why you felt the need to get drunk in the middle of the week”

 

“Ok. Let’s start there” he said and he sipped his coffee again “You remember Baekhyun?”

 

“Yes. You dated him for two years and you guys broke up almost a month ago”

 

“Yeah, him. Well, today I realized that he was the 9^th guy I have dated. I have had 9 different relationships and none of them worked. Nine of them and I have never really loved any of them. I mean I’ve loved them, but I never saw my future with any of them. So I started thinking that maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Maybe I’m not meant to be with anybody and just end up like a crazy cat lady”

 

“Of course not, Jongdae” Minseok said taking Jongdae’s right hand with his left one. “Cats hate you”

 

“Well, I’m glad to know you are such a great friend” he said embracing Minseok hand in his. And unlike what Minseok had thought he would, he didn’t let go.

 

 “So I went to a bar to distract myself from that kind of thoughts. I was just supposed to have a drink and go back home but somehow I just kept thinking and thinking and one drink turned into three and then another four. I was about to order another one when the bartender changed the channels on the TV. He was zapping when I saw that The Simpons movie was playing. I told him to leave it there and it was the scene with the lady. She said “You need to have an epiphany or you will spend the rest of your days alone” and somehow I thought she was talking to me” he couldn’t keep talking because Minseok’s laugh interrupted him.

 

“Please don’t tell me you got the answers to your life problems watching The Simpsons” Minseok managed to say while he tried hard to stop laughing. Jongdae didn’t mind, he liked it when Minseok laughed.

 

“Yeah, I know. It’s stupid but I was drunk. So if we ever talk about this in the future let’s just say it was my own genius the one that got me here, okay?”

 

“Oh, hell no. I’m never going to let you live this down”

 

“Fine… As I was saying, I thought there was something that I was missing. Some type of big piece of information that I needed to see but I just couldn’t, so I went through all my memories of my ex-boyfriends. Why did I like them? Why it didn’t work? What was stopping me from loving them? I’d like to say it was easy but it wasn’t. It took me a while. In some point of it I thought that maybe I should talk to you about it. I don’t know how you do it but you always know exactly what to say. And that’s when my brain made a connection. A tiny little one but it was enough to make everything clearer. I remember thinking that one of the things that I had liked about Baekhyun was that he always knew what to say too. And I started comparing. I realize that a lot of my boyfriends were a lot like you, not everything but just like... small things”

 

Before continuing with the story Jongdae reached for Minseok’s free hand and he held both of them between his.

 

“I realized that in them I found some things that I was looking for but not everything. And that maybe my relationships never worked because I had already found everything I was looking for. Maybe I couldn’t love any of them because in my heart I knew that there was someone else that I had already fallen in love with. Maybe none of them were ‘the one’ because I had already found him”

 

Minseok felt like crying. Jongdae had hold his hands a thousand times and he had look him in the eyes a thousand more, but he had never felt more loved than in that same moment.

 

“Remember when Kris broke up with me?” Minseok asked almost in a whisper.

 

“Yeah, the jerk cheated on you and I wanted to go and punch the living day outta him but you made me stay with you watching chick flicks and eating ice cream”

 

“You remember what you said when I told you that I was going to give up on dating?”

 

“I said a lot of things”

 

“You said “Maybe we should date each other. It would be easier that way”. You remember?”

 

“Yes. I remember that”

 

“At first I thought you were crazy but then the idea didn’t seem so bad. I mean, who would make a better boyfriend than my best friend?”

 

“Min, why didn’t you say anything?”

 

“I don’t know. I just… you weren’t dating anyone back then and things were good between us. If we started dating it wasn’t going to change everything, we would still be friends. So I thought there was no need. We were fine… I was fine. We never were normal best friends and I thought that whatever we had was enough. And even when you started dating I never thought less of your boyfriends nor I was jealous of them, we were still best friends and that was still good enough for me”

 

“But…?” Jongdae asked after Minseok took a couple of seconds quiet and looked at their intertwined hands.

 

“But then Baekhyun came. At first it was fine but then you started doing what you never did with everyone else… You started leaving me aside. And for the first time “best friends” wasn’t enough. I was relieved when you guys broke up and I thought that one of these days I was going to tell you how I felt before you started something with someone else and I ended up being left aside for the rest of my life.
But you came. At 3 am and drunk, but you came” he said chuckling a caressing Jongdae’s hands with his thumbs.

 

“I’m sorry about that. I thought that now that I knew how I felt I couldn’t waist more days next to you being just your friend. Like you said, whatever we have is good enough but it could be better”

 

“So… now what?” Minseok asked laying his head on one of his extended arms, still holding Jondae’s hands and looking at him.

 

“I love you” Jongdae said freeing one of his hands and caressing Minseok’s face on the side he wasn’t resting on his arm. First his forehead, then his nose, then his lips and lastly his cheek.

 

“I love you too” he said smiling and enjoying Jongdae’s touch.

 

“Then that means you are mine and I’m yours… and that’s that”

 

Minseok closed his eyes and hid his whole face in between his arms.

 

“Are you… crying right now?” Jongdae asked in a confused tone.

 

“I’m just really tired”

 

Jongdae chuckled. He stood up and walked to Minseok. It was too late for Minseok to notice what Jongdae was trying to do when he felt himself being lifted up, one hand holding his legs from behind his knees and another one holding his upper body from his back. Minseok let out a not so manly yelp and quickly threw his own arms over Jongdae’s shoulders to hold onto him.

 

“What in the world do you think you’re doing?

 

“I’m taking you to bed. My baby needs some sleep”

 

Minseok blushed at the word. “I can walk you know?”

 

“I know. But I have to do this right. It’s the first time we’re sleeping together” Jongdae said walking to the Minseok’s room.

 

“It’s not the first time we sleep together, idiot”

 

Jongdae got next to Minseok’s bed and he threw him there unceremoniously.

 

“I apologize for my wording. Let me rephrase that. It’s the first time I’m going to sleep next to Kim Minseok, my boyfriend and the most perfect human being I’ve ever met”

 

Minseok giggled and he made himself comfortable under the duvet. Jongdae did the same and when he was comfortable enough he pulled Minseok closer. It wasn’t the first time they cuddled but it felt much better than any other time before.

 

“Do you really think I’m perfect?” Minseok asked whispering.

 

“Nah, you annoy me sometimes” Jongdae said right before receiving a punch in the arm “But, yeah. You’re close enough” And Jongdae couldn’t see it but when Minseok pushed himself closer to him and hid his face in his neck he could feel the big smile adorning his lips.

 

“Goodnight, Dae”

 

“Good night, Min”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“. Min, I forgot something”

 

The abrupt movement woke Minseok once again, not even 5 minutes after he had closed his eyes.

 

“What? Wha…” Minseok wasn’t even aware of what was going on when suddenly he felt a pair of lips against his. After his brain caught on what had happened he left himself relax in his boyfriend’s arm.

It was perfect. Soft lips against his. Gentle hands holding him. And those butterfly in the stomache that everyone talked about.

 

“Okay. Now you can go to sleep”

 

Jongdae laid down and closed his eyes again, ready to go back to sleep. But Minseok’s brain was still working slowly in trying to understand what had happened.

When he finally did he threw a punch to the same arm he had hit earlier.

 

“You jerk. You can’t just kiss me like that and go back to sleep as if nothing happened” Minseok threw himself at Jongdae and they started playing a game of ‘whoever pins the other one to the mattress gets a kiss’.

 

They kept struggling and laughing and it wasn’t a while before they both went back to sleep. But when they did they both did it with a smile on their faces.