Is he doing this on purpose? 

Choi Youngjae thought for what seemed to be the one hundredth time that week as he continued his doodling. He was actually waiting for his next class to begin by doodling all over his notebook and listening to some music. It was really relaxing at times since hardly anyone was around to bother him. However, amongst the few people that hung around usually during the same hour was a huge weirdo. It meant a lot for Youngjae to call someone else a weirdo, considering he's quite an odd eyeball himself. The guy might look hot on the outside, but he does such strange things with a poker face on. 

For instance, he stares a little too much. Youngjae has sensitive ears so when he hears a sound, he looks up to see what it is, and it just so happened he caught the weirdo staring. The latter always looks away first quickly, feigning innocence like he wasn't just boring out holes into his head. It's fine because that's not the worst of it. 

He taps a little too much. Even on air. Is that even ing possible? Youngjae, at first, was left amazed by it since he's never met someone as active with their hands as that. As the semester went by, however, it was just amazingly annoying. Even with his ear buds on, he could still make out the distinctive tapping on the fire alarm that's not too far away from him. He’s aware he could always just ask him to stop, but he never says anything about it. He reasons that it’s because they’re both strangers. Maybe if it was someone he knew or someone he was more comfortable with, he would ask them to stop.

(A part of him knows that it's not just that, and it's because first impressions are so important.) 

There are also times when he clears his throat for no apparent reason. The hallways are usually dead silent especially during the mornings. It also just so happens that Youngjae's class is during the morning; partly because he's a morning bird and likes to get everything out of the way. The other part is because there's hardly anyone in his classes so it's less crowded. Because of that, the hallways resonate whenever someone either walks by or speak. So, of course, when the weirdo clears his throat, it's hard to let it pass because it literally bounces off everywhere. It shouldn't bother Youngjae as much, but he can't help but send him a look because he's starting to wonder if the weirdo is doing it for the attention. 

He also hums, which, to be completely fair, is kinda amusing. There are times when he's quiet and he studies for once, but as he studies, he hums to some song he's listened to before. Its way off most of the time, but the effort he puts into humming a song is note worthy. Youngjae doesn't want to admit it, not yet at least, that he doesn't find it as annoying as he makes it out to be. In fact, he finds it kinda cute that he sometimes does it unconsciously as he studies.

Then he stares some more, and he's back to being annoying. 

The weirdo was at it again that day; he was staring at Youngjae while leaning his arm on the wall, posing weirdly with a poker face on. It bothers him more so than usual because it's not just something a normal person would do. He wonders how long this will keep up until he remembers it's his last class of Mondays and Wednesdays. It's weird, it shouldn't be so shocking, but it is and he wonders if the weirdo is aware of it. Maybe that's why he's all over the place, pacing around the hallways and staring like it was no one business. He can't really believe it himself, but he'll miss the weirdo. 

Oh well. It's not like they know each other personally. They're just people who happen to have a class around the same hour. That's not even solid enough to call them acquaintances, but it's a little more than strangers. Youngjae's not sure how to definite it exactly, but he doesn't pounder much on it once he sees that the group was in his classroom leaves. He stops doodling all together; putting away his pencils and sharpie pens into a pencil case he's had for a while now. His notebook is back inside his backpack, and he swings it over his shoulder as he gets up. He can feel the weirdo's stare on the back of his head, but Youngjae doesn't do anything about it. He enters the classroom without looking back, quickly finding his seat.

It takes a while before the classroom is filled with students. His classmates usually take the pleasure in getting late to class since the professor is usually late himself so they take advantage of it. Youngjae doesn’t see the beauty of getting late to class, he never has, but his best friend does. He enters the classroom with a smile on his face, waving at some people he’s friends with from other classes and sits in front of him. They don’t face each other immediately since his best friend takes time taking out his books. When he finishes, he turns around smiling brightly at him, “Hey.”

“Hey, Bam,” Youngjae greets, a smile finding its way on his lips. “Mr. Weirdo was at it again.”

“What was he up to this time?” his best friend, Bambam (his nickname. His real name can be a tongue twister for the slower and incompetent, Bhuwakul Kunpimook, as he likes to say jokingly), asks with a mischievous glint twinkling in his eyes. Even when he hates waking up early in the morning, he’s still in a great mood. Youngjae’s never sure how he does it.

“He was staring at me, but he wasn’t just staring at me, okay.” He said as he recalled the weirdo leaning his arm on the wall, dark orbs staring at him unwaveringly. “He freaking posed, like, I’m not even gonna question his sanity levels anymore. He’s too weird for me.”

His best friend was studying him carefully, eyes searching for any signs of something, “So he posed. What’s the big deal of it?”

“He posed while staring at me with a poker face on,” He said and added as an afterthought when he saw his best friend about to speak, “I swear to God I wasn’t imagining it this time.”

Bambam shrugged, a small smile tugging his lips, “Maybe you should just talk to him since you’re obviously interested in him.”

“Am not!”

“That’s what they all say,” he said with a wink before he turned around in his seat. The professor had arrived earlier than usual and began the class without so much thought despite half of the class missing. He started talking details about the final exam but Youngjae couldn’t focus properly, Bambam’s words resonating inside his head like a tiny mantra.

It’s too late to even be considering it, he’s aware of it. The chances of seeing him again around the university are so slim unless they’re in the same major or something. He probably blew up his last chance on ever seeing him again, maybe even talking to him, and there was no one else to blame but himself. It was his choice to ignore him instead of striking up a conversation with him as he thought of doing so many times. And even if the weirdo had given him the stink eye for trying to talk to him, at least he tried. Youngjae shouldn’t be regretting, yet, he finds himself thinking of something to say to the latter when he leaves class.

Thankfully, or regrettably, class passes by quickly and Youngjae’s already walking out of his classroom. He doesn’t see him around like he usually does, and it doesn’t surprise him. The only time he ever sees him is before class; it’s like he completely disappears once he enters the classroom and he had been an illusion all along, entertaining Youngjae as he waited for class to start. He feels conflicted as he lets out a sigh, walking up the stairs to the cafeteria with his best friend.

Bambam is going on about something he’s not really paying attention to and watches as his mouth talks mutely. He nods to show like he’s paying attention and looks away again when it’s okay. He hopes his best friend doesn’t mind his lack of interest, and mentally makes a note to explain to him later the lack of interest.  

The walk to the cafeteria is a short walk since his university is small, and there he sees the usual crew in their respective tables. A couple of them wave at them, mostly at Bambam, and they only stop to chat with a couple of people Bambam’s close to. It’s another thing he admires about his best friend; unlike him, the latter is open to everyone, always up for a conversation and laugh. “So, hey, you guys heading to the Christmas party this Saturday?” one of Bambam’s friends ask, Yugyeom if Youngjae remembered correctly.

The Christmas party wasn’t one of those parties that the students usually held. It was held by the university staff and it was open to everyone willing to go. There were usually stands selling all kinds of food (“Like Western food,” Yugyeom emphasized very seriously), very few selling accessories amongst other things, the choir and the band even performed at the party as a special treat to the main event. When it struck midnight, they lit up the decorations they had along with the giant Christmas tree they had put up in the center of the university.

“Well, I was thinking of going, but Youngjae doesn’t want to,” he pouts then, earning an eye roll from the said male. “Why do you ask?”

“One of my friends is in the band and he asked us to go watch,” Yugyeom said, quickly glancing at Youngjae, before looking back at Bambam. “He also asked me to invite more people.”

It was suddenly quiet as both males stared each other in a silent conversation, leaving him out of the loop yet once again. He looked at his watch before deciding that he had better things to do than just stand there between them like an awkward third wheeler. “Listen, Bam, I gotta go.” He said as he waved at him, heading towards the candy corner of the cafeteria. Might as well, right? He didn’t stay long enough to hear his reply, but it's fine since he has more or less an idea anyway.

He grabbed a bag of chips with a water bottle, making a beeline for the cash register. He waited a bit before they finally attended him, and he paid for the snack. After he put away the change he received, he left through the same doors he entered and decided that a trip to the library wouldn’t be so bad. He could be alone as he pleased.

◄◄◄◄◄◄

From: Bam

So r u coming or what?

To: Bam

Uhh...

What? 

From: Bam

To the party, duh.

Where else? 😜

To: Bam

I don't know, Bam...

You know that’s not my style.

From: Bam

So you're gonna leave me alone in a party filled with people I don't know?

I thought we were friends! 😔

To: Bam

OH PLEASE. 

Yugyeom is probably going.

I’ll be the third wheel again!

From: Bam

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY?

To: Bam

I think you're smart enough to have understood what I meant 😊

From: Bam

How are we friends? 😭

To: Bam

Worse things have been said before. 

That was nothing...  

From: Bam

ANYWAYS!

You're coming with me whether u like it or not. 

To: Bam

Ughhh... just why? 

From: Bam

Believe me, I’m doing u a favor.

To: Bam

Sure.

OK.

Whatever u say. 🙄 

From: Bam

😉

The party starts at 7~!

To: Bam

Ok. 

►►►►►►

As expected, the university during the night was different from during the day. It felt bigger than it did during the morning, and it probably would’ve been creepier if it hadn’t been for the people that were crowding the hallways. There were people that were setting up food stands that smelled delicious, and for a tiny moment, he was glad he went along with his best friend. There were also a group of people dressed in all black, standing out from the rest of the crowd. Youngjae would’ve been mistaken for one of them if it wasn’t for the design his black hoddie had.

And as expected, once more, Youngjae was bored out of his mind. He’s not entirely sure what he’s supposed to do now besides eat and get fat, and he wishes he had brought his wallet with him. He didn’t bring it with him because Bambam, that little traitor, promised him that he would pay for the food for making him come here with him. He really believed him when he said it because he pinkie promised and when you pinkie promise something, you just don’t break it. Otherwise, all Hell breaks loose. (At least, that’s how it usually went for them.)

 He knew this would happen (it’s happened more than once. You’d think he’d get the message after like two or three times, but his best friend keeps denying it); after they met up at the library, his best friend received a text from the one and only, Yugyeom, asking him to meet up. Youngjae made a face at that but the latter persisted, and he naturally gave in. Everything was peachy until they decided to be a little more romantic, and he wasn’t having any of that tonight. He was able to escape without being noticed by them, but as a result, he was bored out of his mind and penniless. What more could go wrong today?

Something then started to change once he noticed that everyone was heading around the Christmas tree. There were seats in front of it, but not facing towards it. Instead, the seats were facing a small stage some workers had built over the last few days. He decided to sit over there with the rest of the crowd, reasoning that if there was a stage, then there would be a performance. As he walked over there, someone handed him a pamphlet of the events that were going to take place tonight. Youngjae vaguely remembered Yugyeom’s words, but quickly discarded them once he saw the show was gonna begin.

The beginning of the show was normal. It started off with the director of the university giving a speech about Christmas, how unfortunately there were professors that were gonna retire for the upcoming semester, and how they prepared a little something for them. The director called a list of names, handing them one by one a license plate of some sort, and letting them say some words of gratitude. There was one professor that took longer than the rest, saying something about how he found Christ there and how grateful he was about that, that the director had to interrupt him. While Youngjae wasn’t particularly enjoying the speech, it was still rude of the director to do that to the professor.

After that, the choir finally began to sing and Youngjae had the pleasure of witnessing one of his friends singing amongst them. He remembers how his friend, Park Jinyoung, had once told him he wanted to be part of a choir; he was glad his friend was living the dream. They sang a few Christmas songs like Jingle Bells or All I Want for Christmas Is You, before singing more traditional songs he’s not sure he’s heard before. Just as he was about to look away and check what time it was, they turned it up and started doing a short acapella version of We Wish You a Merry Christmas. It was very different from all of the other songs they sang, and everyone got up from their seats to clap. Youngjae as well.

At long last, it was the band’s turn to play. After the choir had left in style, all of them singing in unison, the band entered the scene with their own style. Everyone was marching in unison as they played their instruments while there were a few dancers around, mostly girls, in pretty uniforms, holding the university’s flag. They kept marching until they were surrounding the stage, where the dancers took the spotlight. They danced accordingly to the music they played while still holding the flags. Some of them even traded the flags by throwing it one another, leaving Youngjae absolutely amazed by their trust and coordination. The instruments were loud and strong, the practice they had gone through undoubtedly paid off, and were resonating throughout the whole university.

There was a moment of silence as the current song finished before they started playing the next one, a faster one, and the dancers were dancing fiercely again. Everyone watched in awe as the dancers tapped danced in their fancy shoes, smiling and shining like the true stars each and one of them were.

It wasn’t long before they changed up the song once more, but it would be the last one. All of the dancers were back with the marching band, some holding the flags while there were a few that held batons. The trumpets then started to play loudly, a loud noise at first, slowly turning into a melody as more instruments joined in. It was softer, a rather soulful song than the rest they had played, bordering the line of bittersweet. The marching band started once more to march in place before they turned around in unison, the dancers following suit. Everyone watched in fascination as the marching band left to the opposite of where the choir had gone after their performance, and nobody clapped at first. Soon, a single clap turned into an applause, and everyone was shouting Merry Christmas to no one in particular. It had truly been a wonderful performance.

Youngjae’s still in awe when Bambam and Yugyeom at long last found him again in the crowd of people trying to reach the food stands. “Man, where were you?” his best friend wasted no time, a frown on his face as he stared at him seriously. “I was worried about you!”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Youngjae rolled his eyes, a smile on his face despite the sarcastic tone he’s using, “You guys were so busy being in love that I just decided to let you guys have some alone time. Is that so bad?”

His best friend blushed a deep red, sending Yugyeom what seemed to be an apologetic glance, “W-What are you talking about? Us? In love?”

“Spare me of your lies,” he said dismissively, ignoring the desperate groan he received as an answer. “Anyways, did you guys see the performance?”

Yugyeom nodded instead of Bambam, “I’ve seen it before because of my friend.”

“Oh,” Youngjae paused before his words from before resonated in his brain again, “Is that the friend you mentioned before?”

Just as he was about to answer, a hand was on Yugyeom’s shoulder, “Did you see me?”

Then something happened.

Something really familiar happened.

As Yugyeom turned around that moment to reveal who it was, Youngjae felt his heart stop because life was really funny at times. So funny that he thinks he could go dig up a hole and hide inside there, say, forever. It sounds overdramatic, even to his own thoughts, but it really depends on how you look at it. Standing in front of him was Mr. Weirdo looking hot and sweaty unlike the last time had seen him, all cool and collected with a poker face on. He was the complete opposite of then.

He’s not sure what to do. He’s too busy registering that the weirdo is in front of him to say something. Could you blame him when the weirdo is apparently a lot more handsome up close than what he initially remembered?

The weirdo, or Yugyeom’s friend that was part of the band, or whoever he was, wasn’t that taller than him. They were more or less around the same height as each other, except that the latter had a much firmer and toned physique. His pale blonde hair was sticking to the sides of his head, messy and in much need of a wash, looking like he had undergone a whole marathon. It’s annoyingly frustrating because despite not looking at his best, he still looked damn attractive to Youngjae, and he thinks that he must be completely gone for thinking so. It doesn’t seem as bad as he makes it out to be because when they had eye contact, gosh, his eyes were gorgeous and he was doing it again. Mr. Weirdo was staring at him again, and he didn’t mind it one bit.

Youngjae only snapped out of it when he remembered that his friends were around, and he broke eye contact first (dammit!), looking at anywhere but him. He started to shyly shift on his feet as he felt the unwanted attention on him, desperately wishing his best friend caught on that this was, in fact, Mr. Weirdo and that holy , he was panicking on the inside. There was a disgustingly long moment of silence before, “Yeah, man. We saw you.”

He shot Yugyeom a glare that was promptly ignored by the two males who claim not to be in love with each other, “Yeah, Youngjae was just asking us if we watched it.” Bambam supplied with a cheeky smile.

Mr. Weirdo looked confused (and Youngjae internally freaked because he finally saw him making an expression that wasn’t a poker face), pointing at him as if asking if that was him. When he received a nod, he looked back at him, unintentionally making him gulp at how intense was his stare, and, “You guys were really cool!”

The look of surprise was enough to tell Youngjae that he might’ve up screwed up his chance with Mr. Weirdo, but his mouth was spewing out words before he could even think them through, “I mean, I had never seen before a marching band up front, only in television, so the fact that I was able to see one up front! Whoa, how to explain it!” A laugh bubbles out of his mouth, and he’s so horrified by himself but he can’t stop it, “I can’t begin to imagine how hard practice must be! I can’t even multitask between something simple so I totally admire you guys for that! Everything was just so on point, and-,”

He only stops laughing when he hears him laughing for the first time. It’s such a boisterous laughter that causes everyone to look at him, and it’s so different from the image Youngjae had in mind, but he doesn’t mind it at all. He might go as far as to say that he even prefers this image of his than to the rather calm and collected self of his. It turns out the laughter is infectious because everyone’s laughing along with him, and he knows that they’re laughing at him. It makes him embarrassed, maybe more than he was already, and he frowns, “Yah, why are you laughing?”

It takes him a while for him to stop laughing, “I, I’m sorry. It’s just that you were looking at me like that,”

“How was I looking at you?”

“Your eyes were literally sparkling,” Youngjae knew his face was turning pale, “You looked genuinely amazed.”

It was strange how he hadn’t noticed the atmosphere between them. It was definitely different from when two strangers meet because it’s usually awkward if the people don’t click right away. However, between them felt like something was waiting to happen, like when people ignite fireworks. It doesn’t start right away, just a small flicker of light before it sores through the sky, exploding into a million particles. The result is absolutely beautiful and it makes him feel stranger than he already did when he looked into his eyes. “W-Well, sorry for spazzing like that then.”

He smiled again, softer this time, as he rubbed his neck with his free hand, “Don’t be; it’s nice to know that people enjoy our performance.”

He was the first one to break eye contact this time and Youngjae feels a sudden loss he hadn’t felt before. Mr. Weirdo looked back at Yugyeom and asked him something; he wasn’t really paying attention until he saw him wave at him. He mindlessly waved back at him as he watched the familiar back walk away. He wondered if the latter ever felt like how he did now as he watched him walk away, and he decided he didn’t like it.

Youngjae was well aware that his body was all over the place today, but during times like these, he didn’t mind as much. He sprinted for the retreating back that was slowly disappearing from his sight, surprising both his friends and himself.

Running had never been his specialty, but screw that, this was his crush walking out on him for the very last time. He didn’t a want a repeat of last Wednesday morning; Jesus, he might’ve not been sure as to what to feel when he didn’t see him again, but he felt disappointed with the outcome. Bambam had been right (surprise, surprise); Youngjae should’ve talked to him when he had the chance. But now that he does have a chance once more, he’s not about to let it pass as he had before. Maybe now he could ask him why he always stared instead of talking to him…

It was hard pin pointing where Mr. Weirdo was because of the crowd, especially when he had nothing to go by for. He tried to remember what the latter was wearing until he saw one of the marching band members pass by him. He felt stupid for not having thought of that before, but he was basically acting on pure impulse without any plans whatsoever.

He ran toward where the marching band members were, and tried to ignore the fact that he stood out like a sore thumb. He was the only one in a black hoddie; the rest were in their wine and yellow uniforms with their white shoes and accessories, looking like the squad goals everyone has dreamt about at least once. Youngjae took a moment to catch his breath before he started looking around. There were a few people that asked him if he needed help, to which he politely answered no, that it was okay, but his answered was ignored. Everyone decided to help him out, looking for a sort of midget with blond hair and firm body. Someone seemed to recognize who they were looking for, the name gone unheard by Youngjae because of the loud music that was currently playing. While everyone was busy looking for Mr. Weirdo, he strayed off from where he was to somewhere more secluded. He didn’t see him right away; he spotted Mr. Weirdo on a bench nearby taking a much needed breather. He breathed in and out steadily before heading over quietly.

When the weirdo finally noticed his presence, he was surprised but he doesn’t really blame him for it. Unaware of how time was just a few minutes away from midnight, Youngjae warmed up his hands, “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” the latter replied without hesitating.

“Why,” he stopped for a moment, laughing softly, “Why did you always stare at me instead of talking to me?”

Three minutes left. Mr. Weirdo rubbed his neck again, a sheepish smile present on his face, “I’m not really sure myself? I guess I was just nervous because I thought that you wouldn’t like it if I just approached you like that so I just…”

He laughed again, rosy cheeks because of the cold weather, “That doesn’t make sense!”

The latter shrugged, “I told you so.”

They passed a minute in total silence, admiring each other’s company until, “You know you could’ve talked to me… I was, am, interested in you.”

Mr. Weirdo got up then, cleaning himself up a bit, making Youngjae smile even more. He held out a hand when he finished, smile matching his, “The feeling’s mutual then.” He paused, “Wang Jackson.”

Youngjae accepted the handshake, rosy cheeks rosier than before (and he was sure that it wasn’t just from the cold weather anymore), “Choi Youngjae.”

It was finally twelve o’clock, and all of the lights lit up then like a scene from a drama, making it one hundred times more romantic than it already was. From the distance was a loud cheer from everyone else, soon followed by a blast of Christmas music. “Then would you do me the pleasure of going on a date?”

“That sounds wonderful,” he said and made the mental note to thank Bambam for dragging him there tonight. It’s a night he’ll never forget for the rest of his life. 

The end.

A/N: Would u guys believe me if I tell that I actually met someone like that, that did everything that Jackson did, during my 1st semester of college? I mean, the only, huge difference is that it never happened between us; I just used him as a reference.

It's true that he was kinda hot, but things were complicated for me back then, they still r, so I don't rly regret ever not talking to him (if that makes sense anyways). The events that happened like the Christmas party & him being in the marching band were real. I actually went to a Christmas party at my college with my parents & I think I saw him there. I'm still not sure if it was him to this day, but it'd be cute if it was real. It'd be unexpected since he's well... very unique at times :')

But, uh, I hope u guys get why Jackson acted the way he did? He was nervous abt approaching Youngjae so he acted out like that as a result. Also!!! If there are any grammatical errors, pls point them out! Thank you in advance!!! :D

So yeah! I hope this was worth the read! Feel free to comment, upvotes are kind of rly nice, & subscribes are awesome! Enjoy!!! :D