He :) thanks for reading! The structure of this story may be unusual, but I really hope you'll enjoy it ^^

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Part 7

_You never let me do anything! You decide everything and I always have to follow you!

_You know perfectly well that I don’t have a choice! It’s my job, it’s important for me!

_And mine isn’t? Because I earn less than you? I value my career too!

Turning a deaf ear to each other.

_I never said that, but you agreed to make some sacrifices!

_Anyway, this is not what matters! I’m just fed up, I can’t bear all that anymore! Stress, crazy shifts, we don’t see each other anymore!

_Well, if you didn’t yell at me the few times we can be together, things would be less tensed, wouldn’t they?

No punch, but it’s equally painful.

_It’s always my fault anyway!

_Then maybe you should start questioning yourself!

_Or maybe we should question “us”!

_Now you are talking nonsense again!

_Am I? Well, maybe my mother was right after all, and I shouldn’t have left with you!

_Donghae, don’t play dumb! Don’t be a jerk!

_If that’s what you think of me, I have nothing to do here anymore!

Fuming, Donghae hastily left the kitchen and closed himself in the common room. He opened the closet and took a suitcase placed at the top shelf. He opened it brutally and grabbed some random clothes to throw them in without looking. He did the same with his underwear and then went to the little bathroom communicating with the room to take his toiletries. His eyes were half closed, trying to ignore the punches against the door and Hyukjae’s voice resonating in the corridor.

_Donghae! Open the door! Don’t be stupid!

Donghae quickly closed the suitcase and opened the door, finding Hyukjae’s surprised face. The older’s gaze fell on its luggage and hardened.

_What the are you doing?

_I’m getting the out of here!

Hyukjae’s look turned bitter.

_Then do as you want, leave! Go back to your mother’s!

_Shut up!

Donghae pushed him with his shoulder while walking past him. He went to find his coat, car keys and his phone, put on his shoes and slammed the door of the apartment in which he’d been living with Hyukjae for five years.

He put his suitcase in his car and drove for half an hour to get away from his neighbourhood. Of course he couldn’t go back to his mother, he knew that well and so did Hyukjae, that bastard. He saw a hotel and decided to take a room for at least one night, as the sky was already getting darker.

Comfy in his hotel room, Donghae was emptying his fourth glass of wine. He wasn’t crying, he wasn’t laughing, he just wasn’t realising. He left, and Hyukjae didn’t hold him back. Anyway, nothing turned right anymore between them. Donghae thought it was because they saw each other too much, but actually they never saw each other. They’ve been away for more than a year, and he didn’t feel any love, any tenderness, between them anymore. Maybe it was over.

Drowning his sadness in the red of his glass, he tried to remember how they went there.

~

Part 6

Hyukjae’s promotion changed a lot of things. He earned more but he also worked more. He left early in the morning, when Donghae was just getting up, and rarely came back at dinner time. They could be together the week end but Donghae, feeling neglected, began choosing to hang out with friends instead. It was just puerile provocation, really, so that Hyukjae could experience what he felt every week.

Hyukjae talked about moving in another, larger place. Donghae did not want. They didn’t need more, the apartment was fine, their neighbour were nice and the living area was calm. Hyukjae said he lacked ambition.

They argued more and more, the only times they made up were in bed, when they said apologising and loving words that they forgot right away. They weren’t happy anymore, they were just desperately holding up.

~

Part 5

Donghae remembered when they bought the flat. One of his best memories. They found it perfect and didn’t hesitate to take it, excited to start their new life. They didn’t opened the boxes right away, they spent two months sleeping on the floor, in a blanket, keeping the other warm and well, eating instant ramen by pure laziness. This apartment symbolised their life together, where there was no regret and no thinking about tomorrow. The world was welcoming them, and since they had each other they weren’t afraid. They knew that they would be busy with their work, that it was important for both of them, but they would be patient. Hyukjae was struggling for a promotion to access to an important job with a lot of responsibilities. Donghae knew it meant he’d work more, but he supported him anyway, because it would make him happy and Hyukjae needed him. And to see a happy Hyukjae was everything he wanted. Even more than to be happy himself.

~

Part 4

Before the apartment, they rented a studio halfway between their universities. They chose close schools, to stay together. They had a lot of dreams.

They lacked money, and both had part-time jobs, Donghae to pay his studies, Hyukjae to support them both since he had a scholarship for his own studies.

In this studio, they went through quite a lot of problems, gravitating around a single point: Donghae’s mother. They came out to their families at the end of high school. Hyukjae’s accepted it easily, after all the boys already spent all their time together, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise. Donghae’s mother, on the contrary, never accepted it. She prevented Donghae from seeing Hyukjae and even made him go back to the family house for months, to make sure he wouldn’t see his boyfriend. This period had been really hard for the younger, and he fell into depression. His grades tumbled and he was fired from his university.

A morning, Hyukjae appeared without being invited, confronted Donghae’s mother and took him far away from her. They went back to their studio and he took care of him day and night. Depressed, Donghae had fallen into different sorts of addiction and wasn’t easy to approach, even by Hyukjae. He maintained a constant distance between them.

Then Hyukjae ended up being on the edge and yelled all his frustration. There were a lot of tears that day, and he hugged Donghae, and kissed him, and told him he loved him and wanted to help him, but he couldn’t if Donghae didn’t want help. That was the trigger Donghae needed, and he started fighting to get back on feet, with Hyukjae’s assistance. He retrieved a healthy routine and went back to his studies, all smiles and happiness all over again. His mother was never mentioned anymore, and the only traces of her presence remaining were the occasional echoing phone ringing that neither of them answered to.

At that time, Donghae felt like he owed everything to Hyukjae. He was his whole life, his happiness, his love. It was another kind of dependence, but a healthier one, that made him happy. Hyukjae made him happy.

~

Part 3

The end of high school was stressing for everyone. Final exams were coming, and with them the universities’ answer to application forms. But Hyukjae and Donghae were okay. Donghae had chosen a sector with few demand and had already been accepted by his first choice, while Hyukjae had excellent grades that assured him a place anywhere, with a scholarship on top of it.

They enjoyed the remaining months of carefreeness, having fun, hanging out with friends, making the most of their time together, as if the hadn’t done it before. Only their friends knew the truth, but to everyone else, they were Donghae and Hyukjae, the two inseparable best friends. Always stuck to the other, sleeping at the other’s place, being scolded for the same mistakes.

To them, and to their friends, they were meant to be. They were too perfectly compatible to be just hazard, it could only be destiny. They were always goofy smiles, laughter and shiny eyes.

Of course they argued from time to time, but they were always fine.

Once, Hyukjae suspected Donghae of cheating, because he spent a lot of time with the football team and they didn’t see each other as much as before, and he knew he wasn’t that handsome, that Donghae deserved better. But as he dared to confront him, Donghae got mad. He said he couldn’t doubt him, or them. He said he was beautiful and he loved him. He loved him and wanted no one else. He wanted no one else and Hyukjae was stupid to think otherwise. Then they were forgiven between apologising kisses.

~

Part 8

Donghae sighed. They have been through so much, the past ten years.

It was the first time he spend so much time away from Hyukjae since years. It’s been nearly a month since he slammed the door of the apartment which once seemed so warm.. Or maybe it was just the day before? Or maybe it was years before? He didn’t know anymore. His bottle of wine was empty, and many had followed it. Now Donghae was crying. Everything hurt.

~

Part 2

They were best friends, nothing could part them, nothing mattered more than the other. And, there was this game. Feigning seduction, doing skinship in front of others, saying innuendos to make laugh, just in order to entertain.

But the game didn’t stop, even when they were alone. Donghae was a tactile kind of person, so they were always glued to the other to watch TV, but then they found themselves lips against lips, and that wasn’t right anymore.

They didn’t tell anyone, it was a secret. They didn’t talk about it together either, as if nothing was wrong, as if they weren’t closer than physical laws allowed when they were alone. Until they put a word on it, on this attraction. If Hyukjae hadn’t gathered his courage that day, maybe they would never have been a thing, afraid of judgement and rejection, eaten by their own confusion.

“Donghae, I don’t know what is this game we are playing at, but I can’t go on like this. I love you, I want you, all of you. I want to be forever with you and share my life with you. Well, maybe in a year from now we won’t have the same thing that we have now, but I don’t care, I want to believe that “us” is forever, and not just because we are best friends and full of hormones.”

Donghae laughed a little between happy tears, kissed him, and answered without words.

~

Part 9

The phone rang and Donghae picked up, knowing his boss would scold him because of his absenteeism. Maybe even fire him.

_Hello? He said with a hoarse voice.

On the other side of the line, the person took time to answer, but only by the sound of his breath he recognised him.

_Hyuk…

_Donghae I love you…

_I love you too…

_What happened to us?

_I don’t know… I think… I think we almost forgot…

_Come back home, I’m sorry, I’ll do anything you want, we’ll find a way to make it work… Hae, you said we were destined to each other… If we talk things out, we can figure where we made a mistake. If you ask, I still can reject the promotion. I’ll have my former job back and everything will be fine. He take some holidays together, we’ll be alright!

_Hyukjae…

_Please…

Donghae closed his suitcase and left the hotel after paying. He found his car and rushed back to their apartment. Home.

As soon as he opened the door he was welcomed by familiar arms and scent. He hugged Hyukjae back, letting his luggage fall carelessly on the floor. Hyukjae was saying, over and over again, how sorry he was, while Donghae repeated that it was his fault and he shouldn’t have left, he was lost without him. They made their way to their room and fell tangled on the bed. Donghae saw from the corner of his eyes the screen of the digital clock on the bedside table. It’s been two hours since he left.

~

Part 1

Donghae was new at this school. He introduced himself shyly in front of the class, blushing because of all the attention on him.

_Hello, my name is Donghae, I’m fourteen and I just moved here from Mokpo.

The teacher made him sit at the only free seat, next to a boy who smiled at him.

__Hi, I’m Hyukjae.

Donghae smiled back. His seatmate seemed nice and he thought that, maybe, he just made his first friend.

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