Unable to Forget

It took Baekhyun a week and a half before he was able to go back to work.

He still didn’t talk as much and ate enough just to survive but he was getting better.

Kyungsoo told Baekhyun’s boss that he was having a bad flu and luckily the other believed him, mainly because Baekhyun never missed his work except when he was forced to.

Baekhyun loved everything related to music. He is a musical actor, a popular one at that. He had strong, honey voice that people enjoyed to listen to and he was also good at dancing.

Baekhyun would love his job completely if only there didn’t have to work with somebody he loathed.

His ‘dear’ friend Chanyeol worked there too as a tone expert.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun were best friends in the past but one event, more like a confession, ruined everything the two had.

Chanyeol became Baekhyun’s main enemy. Well, he isn’t his enemy anymore but the other hurt him so badly he will probably never be able to consider him as a friend.

“Oh, Baekhyun! You got better! I’m so glad! I heard you caught a bad flu.” Speaking of the devil, Chanyeol greeted the elder happily. He, like Baekhyun, was also like a puppy, always energetic and happy. Everybody here calls him ‘Happy Virus’. Their similar, hyper personalities were one of the main reasons the two were close in the past.

Baekhyun only ignored the other and went to his changing room.

But Chanyeol was the persistent type so he followed the elder.

“So did you think about my offer?” Chanyeol asked, quickly catching up to the smaller.

Curse him and his long- legs.

Baekhyun was still bitter over the fact that that ‘offer’ was one of the reasons why he and Minseok broke up in the first place so he couldn’t stop himself from snapping at the taller.

“No!” Baekhyun screamed as he pushed Chanyeol away.

“I decline your offer! I’ll never go out with you, Chanyeol! Never, ever, not in a million years! N-E-V-E-R! I still don’t understand how you dare to ask me out after all you’ve put me through!” he attracted the attention of the all employees of the theater around them, to them.

“I’ve apologized to you a thousand times for what I did to you in high school. And you told me you forgave me. I really am sorry, Baekhyun! I was stupid and a bastard and if I could I would go back in time and correct every wrong-doing I ever did to you.” Chanyeol replied, his voice also loud.

“Just because I had forgiven you that doesn’t mean I forgot it. What you did to me, Chanyeol, affected my life greatly. How dare you ask me out?! Don’t you have any decency?! You don’t deserve to talk to me, much less ask me out!”

“I’m sorry! I was stupid! I was young and scared. When I started to have feelings for you I got so scared. Everybody around me, especially my parents, always told me how wrong it was to have feelings for another man. I felt so disgusting for loving you the way I did. The way I still do. I didn’t know how to react when you told me you’re also gay!” Chanyeol reasoned.

“So you thought the smartest way to deal with your feelings was to bully me?! You’re a moron!” Baekhyun shouted, making everybody direct their gazes at Chanyeol in shock.

It was like a kdrama in real life. They could never imagine Chanyeol bullying Baekhyun, considering how the taller always follows him around and asks him out.

“I’m sorry! My judgment was clouded by what my parents always told me about gay people and how disgusting they are…”

“It still doesn’t justify your actions towards me! We were best friends; we swore to always be there for each other no matter what circumstances. I expected of you to accept me as I am and what did you do?! You ing turned the whole school against me! No matter how hard I try I would never be able to forget that time!”

~*~

Ever since meeting Minseok, Baekhyun’s feelings have been all messed up. He spoke with the elder a few more times. Actually a lot of times.

It became Baekhyun’s habit to approach Minseok whenever and wherever he saw him and initiate a conversation. Minseok was interesting. He was very polite and well-mannered but also really secretive and quiet. He always avoided answering a bit more personal questions Baekhyun dared to ask him. This made Baekhyun even more intrigued with him.

Trying to learn more about Minseok became Baekhyun’s daily mission. Bombarding the other with multiple questions only to have two or three of them answered made Baekhyun follow Minseok even more.

It didn’t take Baekhyun long before he managed to see that his interest for Minseok wasn’t really a pure, friendly curiosity.

And he hated that. He didn’t need that. 

To be completely honest, Baekhyun always doubted his uality. When guys in his class started talking about s and girls’ bodies he didn’t understand what was so special about that. But he also didn’t find guys attractive either. So he thought he was probably aual and he was fine with that. Until Minseok came along and Baekhyun started to feel all these weird emotions… Desires… And he knew he was ed up.

Baekhyun tried to avoid the elder for a while but… Well he gave up pretty quickly, missing the gummy smile Minseok gave him whenever the younger approached him and his melodic laughter at Baekhyun’s jokes (some of them weren’t even funny but Minseok still laughed at them).

So when he finally came in terms with his uality he couldn’t keep it to himself. He was that type of person; outspoken, loud, he couldn’t keep his emotions to himself. He needed to vent them to somebody otherwise he would burst and do something he might regret. So he decided to tell it to his closest friend that he knew ever since he could remember himself, a person who promised he would be there for him no matter what; Park Chanyeol.

 “You’re gay?” Chanyeol repeated Baekhyun’s words.

“Yeah… I t-think I am…”Baekhyun confirmed, “But that doesn’t mean I feel any different towards you. I still think of you as my friend and only that.”

The silence enveloped the two as Chanyeol looked straight again, avoiding Baekhyun’s hopeful but scared gaze.

Baekhyun raised his hand to try and make Chanyeol look at him, only to have his hand slapped away.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Chanyeol shouted finally looking at Baekhyun.

His face was full of disgust and disappointment.

“I’ve always defended you when they were saying you’re weird and gay only to have this as my payback?! They were right, you’re disgusting. Don’t you dare approach me anymore. I don’t want to get your disease.” Chanyeol spoke as he got up from a chair across from Baekhyun’s bed where the smaller was seated.

Shock and fear overwhelmed Baekhyun as tears started flowing down his face.

“It’s not a… a disease…” Baekhyun replied quietly while sobbing. He didn’t expect this, not from Chanyeol. He was his best friend. They always said they would be there for each other whatever the situation is.

“Whatever. I don’t wanna see you ever again…” Chanyeol spoke as he left Baekhyun alone, crying in his room. Baekhyun hated himself even more now.

That was when the bulling began. Somehow the whole school find out about his uality over the night.

When he walked through the school’s gate he got welcome by people throwing eggs at him while shouting ‘’, ‘Gay’ and other insults used for homoual people. Chanyeol was at the head of the welcoming party, his expression of pure disgust the same as last night’s.

 He became the main target to whole student body. He lost almost all of his friends except Jongdae and Kyungsoo; an underclassman that joined the choir too.

The teachers acted like they didn't see Baekhyun getting bullied, like they didn't see Baekhyun coming to classes covered in eggs, with bruises and so on.

Baekhyun never felt so alone and helpless.

He also avoided Minseok as hard as he could, refusing to see the look of disgust on his face.  He was sure that if he ever sees that, he would have nothing to live for anymore.

That was until the upperclassman found him, himself.

Bulling got worse as the time passed. Students were joining in so they wouldn’t be left out or considered weird, because, according to some people (read as ‘Chanyeol’s crew’), if you don’t torture the peers, you’re one as well.

One day, as Baekhyun was washing his hands in the restroom he felt water splashing his back. Then somebody pulled him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him to the ground.

Baekhyun looked up only to find Chanyeol’s face staring back at him. He wasn’t alone, his whole crew which consisted of one upperclassman whose name Baekhyun didn’t know but he knew he was from Minseok’s class, Bang Minsoo who insisted of being called C.A.P, he went to Chanyeol’s class and Woo Ji Ho also known as Zico also Chanyeol’s classmate.

“I think you messed up the bathrooms, . Yours is the one next to it.” Chanyeol said making others around him laugh.

Baekhyun tried to get up and avoid another beating but he was pushed back down by Chanyeol’s leg.

“You think you’re allowed to get up? We need to get some sense in you.” Chanyeol spoke laughing. His minions laughed along with him.

Tears were starting to form in his eyes, but Baekhyun refused to let them fall, or even show. He won’t show his fear; he’s strong enough not to show it. He’s been through worse; he can go through this too.

They kicked him, punched him, threw insults at him and laughed. Baekhyun didn’t even let out a sound which frustrated them more.

“Why are you so quiet, bastard?! Don’t tell me… You’re enjoying this? Not only are you gay but you’re a masochist too? So disgusting.” Chanyeol spat out.

Baekhyun didn’t answer. His face was still emotionless. He was used to this; he was used to being beaten up. He doesn’t even feel pain anymore.

A strong and loud slam of the doors surprised them all.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” an angry voice interrupted Chanyeol and his party’s fun.

“K-Kim M-Mi-Minseok?!” one of  Chanyeol’s allies stuttered out, the upperclassman.

Baekhyun’s eyes went wide. He hasn’t heard that voice for so long.

“I asked; WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” Minseok voice was ringing through bathroom, the sound bouncing on the walls. Baekhyun’s ears hurt from how high it went and he noticed that it had the same effect on the rest of the guys.

“We… We were just teaching this guy a lesion… That being ‘his kind’ is not right…” the guy answered, his voice trembling. Baekhyun could see how scared he was. He wanted to laugh at how quickly the guy went from being all highly and mighty to disgustingly pathetic.

“’His kind’?! Are you kidding me?! HE IS YOUR KIND, YOU MORON. HOW DID YOU EVEN GET TO THIS GRADE IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO RECOGNIZE HUMANS?! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE HANGING AROUND?! GOLDFISHES?!”

“HE IS NOT NORMAL! NO NORMAL BEING FINDS HIS GENDER ATTRACTIVE!” Chanyeol shouted and looked Minseok straight in the eyes.

“AND WHO ARE YOU TO BE THE JUDGE OF THAT?! ARE YOU SOME KIND OF A SUPERIOR BEING THAT HAS THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT IS AND WHAT IS NOT CONSIDERED NORMAL?!YOU SURE LOOK LIKE A REGULAR HUMAN TO ME SO START BEHAVING LIKE ONE!” Minseok replied even louder than Chanyeol, his piercing voice making them all cover their ears once again.

Chanyeol didn’t dare to say another word, he just continued staring maniacally at Minseok. Minseok’s face was indifferent, clearly not bothered by Chanyeol’s intimidating expression.

He picked his backpack and took out a book before throwing it at Chanyeol.

“Read a bit. You really need it, educate yourself. Maybe it will save you from your closed-minded opinion. Now leave.” Minseok ordered, pointing towards the door.

Chanyeol glared at him while rubbing a sore spot on his leg where the book had hit him. He picked up the book, reading the title.

“How to Understand Homouality…” he read out loud, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m not reading that.”

“Oh, you don’t need to read it. I think ‘your kind’ still believes that if you put a book under your pillow and sleep on it you will somehow absorb the knowledge. You can try that if you want, I wouldn’t care. But if I see you doing something to Baekhyun again… Any of you… I’ll shove this book right down your throats and make sure you never walk again. Is that clear?” Minseok’s voice was intimidating. Baekhyun could see Chanyeol’s allies shaking.

Baekhyun never knew Minseok had so much sass, but he liked it very much. Although he disliked that he found out about it in this situation.

“You’re not the boss of me. I’ll do whatever I want. And why are you even defending this scum? He’s only a threat to normal human beings. Unless, you’re ‘his kind’ too?” Chanyeol’s eyes shined with challenge once again, as a smirk formed on his lips.

“I don’t need to give you a reason why I’m defending him. I'm doing what I consider right, just like you consider that bullying him is right. I’m warning you once again; if you continue bullying Baekhyun I will make sure you’re expelled from this school and unable to get into any other in this city. Believe me; I can. Now, beat it.”

It was a well-known fact that Minseok was pretty influential in the school. All of the teachers liked him because of his polite behavior and great grades, not to mention that his cousin was Kim Junmyeon who was student body president and the son of the principal and Minseok himself was the heir of Kim Corporation, one of the most influential corporations in the country. 

Yeah, the Kim family was pretty successful, including both Minseok and Junmyeon.

Chanyeol’s party ran away immediately, stuttering apologies and bowing as they were leaving. Chanyeol continued standing there. Baekhyun could see he was furious.

“What part did you not understand when I said ‘beat it’?” Minseok asked.

“Why are you acting like you’re higher than me? I’m sure I could beat you in a matter of a second.” Chanyeol’s voice was angry.

“Well, that’s where you’re wrong. You may be taller and heavier, I mean it in no offence manner, but I’m black belt in taekwondo, chil-dan and I’m also trained in kendo and wushu. Not to mention that I’m co-captain of soccer team meaning that my endurance is better than yours.  Do I need to go on or did you finally understand the meaning of ‘beat it’?” Baekhyun felt such a deep admiration for Minseok he wanted to cry.

Why was he so perfect? And why did he do something like this for somebody like Baekhyun?

“Agh!” Chanyeol shouted as he kicked one of the toilet doors. He gave Minseok one last glare and left but not without slamming the restroom door as hard as he could.

Minseok stood there staring at Baekhyun, who was still on the floor all beaten up and shocked, before sighing and helping him get up.

“Are you okay?” Minseok asked.

Baekhyun wasn’t sure what to say. He lost his ability to speak. He didn’t expect this; Minseok who was the cause of one of his problem was also his savior from that problem.

“Did they kick you too hard so you lost your ability to speak?” Minseok joked expecting of Baekhyun to laugh with him or at least get some positive reaction from him, like a smile. Imagine his surprise when he saw tears in Baekhyun’s eyes and a broken expression on his usually cheery expression.

Minseok felt panic rose up in his body. Not only did he feel like an idiot for thinking that Baekhyun would act like his usual self after facing a horror like this but he also doesn’t know how to deal with tears. He’s terrible at anything that involved emotions actually, being them his or somebody else’s.

He awkwardly patted Baekhyun’s back hoping that the boy won’t start crying for real.

Well, it didn’t work.

Baekhyun broke down crying and spouting nonsense.

“This all is your fault… Why are you like this? I-I hate it... I didn’t want any of this… My life has too many problems already…” Baekhyun’s voice was hoarse and he talked really fast. Too fast for Minseok to actually understand anything.  

‘What to do? Think, you fool!’ Minseok screamed at himself in his head.

He didn’t know how or why he did it but he felt his arms embracing Baekhyun and his mouth assuring gently ‘It’s gonna be okay. I’m here for you.’

Baekhyun never felt more secure in his life. Minseok’s hold felt like home.

After that episode the bullying stopped. Minseok made sure that nobody dared to approach Baekhyun with bad intentions. Baekhyun didn’t understand why Minseok did all of that for him but he decided not to think about it too much so he doesn’t delude himself.

~*~

“I’m sorry, Chanyeol, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget those times. When I needed you the most you turned your back on me. If you really care for me then do something good for me; give up on me. And maybe one day I’ll be able to get over the whole high school thing and became your friend. But that day isn’t today and I doubt it will come any time soon.” Baekhyun finished and entered his private changing room, locking it after he closed the door. 

Here's chapter two. Thank you all who subscribed to and commented on my story, I really appreciate it.

I hope you liked this chapter. I was supposed to upload it sooner but I forgot about it because of school and my cold and everything but the recent concert in Manila was so full of Xiubaek moments, reminding me of this story hah.

Thank you for reading and I hope you liked this chapter.