Seunghyun, I love him. 
He plays with my heart so easily.
He says the sweetest words, he sends shivers through my body with a touch, he whispers gentle lullabies against my ear, and all of it is mine.
No, I cannot say I'm his and he is mine. 
But I can say I am the one he loves, and that is the greatest joy among my many sorrows.

Originally, we were not meant to be. Fate drove a rather large wedge between us, my pride was big and he was just another pebble in my shoe so I missed out on months of his smile. Regret, that's all I feel when I look back at how things started.

By chance, we fell in love with a drama and eventually, each other. We were just kids so our hearts were small, but my love for him felt like it could go on forever. And it still does. 

We are both still growing, we make mistakes and try our best to evolve into better people, bringing ourselves closer to our ideal selves. 
My ideal self is someone who is happy. With him by my side, I feel I can be that person someday. 

I remember once, when I was finally breaking, he told me he'd save me from the monsters inside of my head and he came and did just that, with shining armour and everything. 

We were competitors in a business with no room to breathe, placed on opposing spectrums. Yet he still cheered me on with his own problems piling on his shoulders. 

When the cameras are on us, I swear I can barely hide my excitement when I get the excuse to just be near him, to just touch him. 

As we age, I understand I cannot be with him. I can't marry him, I can't show the world my gift I've found on the exhausting path of life. 

By fate, we have met and fell into an almost perfect love, with just one flaw. We were not meant to be here, not where we can't love as two men. 

So after this life is over, I will search for him again...whether it be in the stars or in another lifetime. I will find my love again. 

As we are timeless in comparison to the chains that bound us to the judging eyes of others.

I will find him again, I promised him this.