“She once told me about her love for lyrics.”

A boy’s voice came out from the speakers of my mom’s car. She was listening to the radio while driving. I leaned my head towards the window while watching other cars pass by in the highway. It was the day of my graduation, and we were headed to my university.

 “How the words spoke to her like poetry.” The boy being interviewed in the radio whose voice was more than familiar to me continued as my mom gushed on how she loved all of his songs.

“I would often wonder about her playlist and the ghosts who lived there. The faces she saw and the voice she heard. That’s one of the reasons I keep on writing songs, you know.” The boy said, acknowledging the person interviewing him in the radio.

“Now I wonder if I am one of those ghosts – if I am somewhere, drifting between those notes. I hope I am. I hope wherever my song plays, I am there, whispering in her ear.”

“Oh my god, Neera! No wonder this young singer is so good! He has in-spah-ration!” My mom stated, no actually, ‘screamed’ would be more appropriate. My mom obviously liked this guy.

 It was awkward but I forced myself to choke out some words. “He’s good, alright.”  I rolled my windows down and I rolled my eyes along with it. I guess he was too good to stay in this place.

-

After graduation, my mom dropped me at the place where the after party will be held. I walked in, cautiously, trying to make sense of the message Joshua sent me awhile ago.

He’s here. I clenched my fist and felt my heart beat faster. Jihoon’s actually here.

I grabbed a drink from a table nearby and took a seat on one of the couches near the entrance of the hall. Joshua, who was sitting on the couch, gave me a nudge on the arm.

“Woozi’s here.” He whispered.

“I know.” I waved my phone in front of his face. “You texted me, remember?”

In the past, I have imagined several scenarios of what could happen the next time I see Woozi again. I never imagined it to be on our my graduation day. Joshua pointed at a familiar blonde guy, sitting not too far from us.

“Oh my god, Woozi! Remember me?” I watched as one of my female batch mates squealed and put a hand on his arm.

He looked uncomfortable but he gave her a nod. “Of course, I remember you.”

I doubt.

“Oh my god! You do? See that?” She turned to look at her friend. “I told you he knows me.”

“Woozi, do you remember me too? We used to have Basic Composition and Art Studies together, right? Right?” 

“Uhm, yeah, of course.” I watched as Woozi looked away from the two of them and scanned his eyes across the room. “Wait a sec.”

He must be looking for someone.

Joshua who was sitting beside me noticed this, and smirked. He raised his hands and waved it in the air so Woozi would see. “Woozi!”

“Joshua, what are you trying to do?” I hissed at him silently.

Woozi immediately stood up from his seat and took big strides towards us. He’s coming.

Don’t be nervous, Neera. It’s just Woozi. I gulped. Chill. It’ll be alright.

“Joshua!” Woozi flashed a lopsided grin and shared a high-five with Joshua. “Long time no see. Man, I missed you.”

Joshua laughed. “Yeah, it’s been such a long time since you left all of a sudden, and became a famous singer.”

Woozi laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. “You know I had my reasons.”

“They must be such great reasons.” I stuttered quietly. This caught his attention.

His eyes widened when he saw me, and the next thing I saw was him smiling at me.

“Neera…”

His eyes still turn into slits when he smiles. He looked sincerely happy to see me, and I did not know how to respond so I just stared back. I was busy trying to suppress my feelings.

“How are you?” He asked.

I my dry lips before I choked out some words. “I’m fine…I guess…”

I did not know what to say. Thankfully, Joshua sensed this, and saved me from being a stuttering mess. “You wouldn’t believe how Neera changed. She starred in several musical plays since second year. Actually, now that we have officially graduated, I’m sure she’ll receive a lot of offers.”

“Wow, Neera. That’s amazing. So what plays have you participated on?”

Woozi locked his eyes with mine the whole time, and I couldn’t help but look away. I forgot that he was waiting for my answer. Fortunately, one of my batch mates grabbed the microphone at the front of the hall, distracting him from our conversation.

“What’s up, party people!” Hoshi, one of the most enthusiastic dance majors in our batch screamed through the microphone. “Remember our freshman talent show? Oh who am I kidding, of course everyone remembers. Well, I heard one of us wasn’t able to perform then. Well, isn’t that unfair to that person! Am I right or am I right?” He moved his hand exaggeratedly to gather response from the audience which he obviously received. I gulped in anticipation, knowing quite well who he was referring to.

“Han Neera, yes, I am referring to you!” He said loudly and pointed towards my direction. Hoshi laughed and continued. “Since it’s the last day of university ever, why don’t you come here and sing what you prepared on that day?”

People cheered and encouraged me to stand up and sing. I obliged and started to make my way to the stage, near the microphone. Unlike before, performing for others transformed into an easy task to me these days. I surveyed the room and saw Woozi staring at me with a small proud smile that I decided to brush off.

After I realized that he left for good and wouldn’t be coming back at all, I was confused. We used to be inseparable but he just left, and all of a sudden decided to cut all contact between us. Of course, I was confused.

Soon, confusion turned into anger.

And anger eventually turned into motivation.

I wanted to show Woozi that I was no longer the girl who hid behind his back. I wanted to show him that I can stand on stage without his encouragements. I wanted to show him that his departure wasn’t a big deal to me, even if it was.

I closed my eyes before I started to sing the lyrics to a melody that was still so familiar and close to my heart. I might have not able to sing it in front of everyone during the talent show, but I sang it to someone who gave me the confidence to sing it again. With every syllable, I thought about the first time I sang it to someone so nervously. After I finished singing the last words of the song, people clapped and cheered for me, a reaction I might have received if I was able to sing it before in the talent show.

I quickly exited the stage only to be greeted by Woozi. He was waiting for me near the stage. He grabbed my hand and ushered me to follow him outside the room.

“You were really great out there.” He breathed out as soon as we were out of the room.

“Uhm, thanks. I guess.”

Outside, the cold evening air greeted us, and I couldn’t be more grateful that I was wearing a thick sweater above my graduation dress. It was already dark and I followed Woozi as he strolled towards a bench near the parking lot.

“So I heard from Josh that you’ve been on musicals.” He gave me a proud smile. “What I would do just to see you performing in one.”

I cleared my throat rather uncomfortably and tried to change the topic. “So you’re all famous now.”

This time, it