When PD-nim offered an opportunity, I took it right away. Namjoo hesitated, and the others didn't want to do it at all. I've done it before. I'm comfortable singing anywhere. So on Christmas Day I'll be singing a duet on Music Bank with a boy group member of my choosing.

My first instinct was to choose someone from the same label, because that's the safest and most logical choice, but Beast won't be making an appearance and Huh Gak oppa is out of the question. I considered all the boy groups; EXO was immediately ruled out. I wasn't very close to GOT7. I thought of VIXX—Hakyeon, or Taekwoon-oppa perhaps.

And then I thought of the boy group that once upon a time had almost been like family, and I could kick myself for not thinking of them sooner.

I asked Hoya, even though I knew he would decline. Gikwang isn't a main vocalist either, and he sang with me, I argued. But Hoya suggested Woohyun, so I asked him next.

Woohyun, surprisingly, asked me why I didn't ask their leader. I silently wondered if that was his way of rejecting me without actually saying the words.

I could've sang with anyone, and if I persisted, I knew Woohyun-oppa would agree to sing with me. But then I thought it over, and I realized that I could sing with anyone, but I've always really wanted to sing with Sunggyu.

Sunggyu-sunbaenim agreed easily, to my surprise. He explained that PD-nim had approached them as well, asking if any of them wanted to do a special stage. They haven't given a straight answer, because they were still thinking it over.

Sunggyu-sunbaenim said it would nice to sing together, because we've never done it before. I knew why. He did, too. It was all so awkward after that incident some couple years ago.

He asked me what song I wanted to sing, just as I was about to ask him the same thing. When we couldn't decide on the spot, we unanimously agreed to go back and think about it.

I thought about it long and hard, because I like so many songs and there are only so many chances I get to sing on a special stage. Only so many chances to sing with Infinite's leader and main vocalist.

Two days later, he texted me a list of songs he had considered. I feel a grin blooming on my face, because I read the first song on the list and I knew that was the one he most wanted to sing.

I just never thought he would pick such a romantic song.

We ran a check through our respective busy schedules and chose a date to meet up and practice.

I wasn't exactly nervous, per say, because this is Sunggyu-sunbaenim and we've known each other a long time. But somehow, I still felt out of sorts when I went to meet him. The feeling was like meeting an old high school friend or a relative you haven't seen in awhile.

I dressed in comfortable jeans and hoodie and didn't bother to do my hair or put on too much makeup or even wear my contact lenses. He was casually dressed as well, and that was when it hit me—this is a casual thing. Just two friends at best, or co-workers at worst, meeting up to discuss music.

Music was something I could do, so I focused on that. We had already printed out the lyrics of the song to work on. Sunggyu-sunbaenim took out his reading glasses, and I'm embarassed to say that I swooned a little when he put them on.

On the printed out lyrics, I highlighted with a blue marker the parts where I would be singing, and with a pink marker I highlighted the parts where we would be singing together. Our voices match nicely. I had all the confidence in my singing and Sunggyu-oppa did as well; Together, I knew we were going to kill the stage.

Our first real practice was... something, for lack of better words. We held our fists out in front of our mouths like microphones, and sang without looking at the lyrics. And that was the 'something' part.

Without the lyrics, I didn't know where to look.

Sunggyu-oppa didn't seem to have this problem, because for the entire time he only looked at me.

I can't remember the last time I had held his attention for so long—or maybe I had never noticed, because I don't really look him. My face always feels warm when I do.

I kept my eyes on the floor, on the wall, the table, everywhere. Sometimes I do look at him because it would be strange and rude not to. Sunggyu-oppa doesn't blink much whenever he held my gaze; it was creepy, amusing, and nerve-wrecking all at once.

But as soon as the song ended, he broke eye contact and went on as if nothing happened. I grabbed my phone and stopped the song from replaying. I prayed that he didn't notice the slight tremor in my hands.

We spent the whole day doing more vocal warmups and more practice runs, and soon it grew more pleasant and normal and not at all weird.

Days passed.

And then all of a sudden it was December 25^th.

I only had time to wish him a merry christmas before we were all herded into a room together—we, as in my group and his.

APink and Infinite had to do a backstage segment together, but I wasn't needed to talk so I spent the entire time sneaking glances at him.

I just hope he doesn't watch the broadcast, because he may not have caught that, but the camera definitely did.

I don't worry before a performance. Performing had become as second nature as sleeping or eating. Besides, I didn't have time to worry about our duet because I had to focus on APink's performance as well.

Our wardrobe today was an odd cross between summer and winter, and my theme was red checkers. Our cordi must have discussed with Sunggyu-oppa's cordi, because our outfits matched.

He looked good in red and black. It took all of my strength not to stare at him.

Truthfully, I think our cordi had gotten my outfits backwards. My red checkered shirt and black leather skirt would be much better suited for the duet performance rather than APink's performance, because it matched with Sunggyu-oppa's outfit more.

But our cordi must have wanted me to look more soft and girlish, and that's fine by me, because I always feel soft and girlish around Sunggyu-oppa.

Somehow, it only occurred to me that I had started calling him oppa and not sunbaenim in my head.

Our actual performance was... something else.

We nailed it, of course. PD-nim praised us and said, as expected. And I agreed. We sounded great. But the performance, from my point of view, was still weird as hell.

I thought we had gotten past all the awkward-ness, but apparently I was wrong. For one, we just stood there in place, as if glued to the stage. For another, unlike during practice, Sunggyu-oppa hardly looked at me.

I understood to some degree, that he wanted to avoid starting rumors, and that he wanted to pay attention to his fans and to the camera. But it was oddest thing, to hardly look at the person you're singing with. If I hadn't known any better, I would've thought he was shy.

But I do know. And I know that it was just payback for me not wanting to look at him during practice time.

I huff to myself, suddenly mad. Suddenly I wanted to seek him out.

I didn't bother going back to APink's dressing room. Instead I went straight to his, and there I found him along with Myungsoo and Sungjong. I sent a quiet thank you to the gods because I know those two wouldn't question what I was doing there. However, Sungjong did send me a curious look when I asked to speak with Sunggyu alone.

I don't bother with courtesies.I jumped straight to the point. Why was he acting so strange during the performance? Is he angry at me for something?

His expression was blank, and his eyes told me that he had no idea what I was talking about. My ears burned—and I begin to wonder whether I had misread the situation. But before I could backtrack, he shook his head and said no, he wasn't angry at me.

So I asked him why he was so distant on stage.

I could tell my question surprised him a little, because he didn't answer immediately. But then he smiled—a small, but genuine smile that made his eyes near invisible. It was the smile that always send my heart fluttering.

Sunggyu then asked why I was so nervous on stage.

I couldn't believe my ears. How could he tell I was nervous? I tried so hard to hide it, but he had seen right through me. I pursed my lips and didn't respond to his question. Childishly, I told him to answer my question first.

He shrugged, still smiling, and asked why I was bothered about his distance.

I was infuriated. He wasn't giving me a straight answer, and instead was asking all these embarassing questions. He was just teasing me now.

I look at him, with his hands behind his back, leaning back against the dressing room door. His head tilted calculatingly to one side, as if trying to gauge my reactions. It finally occurred to me.

He wasn't just teasing.

He was flirting.

I knew because he wasn't trying too hard to hide it. He wanted me to know.

My face is like an open book; it's easy to read. Sunggyu knew the exact moment when I finally realized what was happening. His smile widened.

My head begin to spin at the knowledge of this sudden development. Sunggyu-oppa likes me.

And in some twisted, humorous way, his ignoring me on stage was a way to get my attention... and yes, he admited, it was sort of payback for me ignoring him during practice.

I simply stare at him in disbelief--at his pleased little smirk, and his sadistic way of flirting.

And I marvel about the fact that despite this, I was still wholly, completely, and irrecovably attracted to him.

Really, what does that say about my tastes in men?

We meet again on December the 26.

We had ditched the checkered red and was now clad in black and white, and in his case, all black. Once again, he looked good. He looked really good.

It made ignoring him a little harder than I expected, but when I passed by him in the hallway, I brushed pass with only a quick, customary bow.

Or I tried to, but he wasn't having any of that.

His hand shot out and he grasped me by the arm. I accidentally looked at his face, and the full force of his smile hit me.

Stay and watch our performance? He asked simply.

I could only nod mutely.

So much for my New Year's Resolution. I guess I'll still be head over heels for Kim Sunggyu again in 2016.

.

end.

A/N: Yes, I've been obsessed with this pair since Christmas.