JR stared at his cell phone, trying to decide if calling Aron would be a good idea right now. The last time they had spoken, it had ended in an argument and Aron icing over...again. That had happened several times over the past five months, and JR was tired of things going on in this pattern. Things needed to change...now. Sighing deeply, he picked up his phone and hit speed dial. If Aron picked up, it would be great. If not...

"Hello?" He heard Aron's tired voice on the other end of the line. He felt his heart skip a beat at the other man's voice, even though it was strained.

"Hi, Aron. How...I mean, are you going to be in town anytime soon? If so, we could meet or something, if you want." JR had stopped himself from asking how Aron was doing. He knew the answer. He also knew that his friend couldn't hide forever.

There was silence on the other end for a long moment before Aron answered him and JR was beginning to wonder if his friend had hung up on him. "I'm going to be in town at the first part of next month, but not for long," Aron finally replied. "We can get together then and do something. I...I can't hang around, though. School, you know?"

JR nodded, knowing the truth. He could come out once school was out in two weeks, but it was just an excuse for him to not stick around for very long. "Okay. Cool! I look forward to seeing you. You can stay with me," he grinned, knowing his friend would try to refuse him. "No objections, You Honor."

Aron laughed at the lame joke, the rare joyful sound music to JR's ears. "Okay. Fine, but I do have money for a hotel, stubborn !"

JR laughed, shaking his head as he smiled. That had definitely broken the ice between them, even though he knew it would be back as soon as they were together again. It was worth it. "It's stupid for you to stay in a hotel, when I have an apartment. End of story," he felt a pange of sadness stab his heart, the feeling popping in randomly and killing the butterflies in his stomach. "I can't wait to see you, Aron. It's been too long." JR was still feeling emotional, but tried to keep the conversation light, so it wouldn't get too deep. That was the last thing Aron needed.

Aron smiled to himself, swallowing hard. "Yeah. I miss you, JR. Truly. I'll see you soon, okay? Pick me up in a few days and we can catch up. I need to go, though. My dog is screaming at me with his eyes, and you know how dauchshunds can be."

JR laughed, picturing the small, black dog boring a hole in Aron and dying from the lack of attention. He missed Teddy, too. He was a great dog, and was good for Aron. "Alright. I'll see you soon. Have a good night, okay?"

Aron sounded far away, and it had nothing to do with the actual distance between them. "Bye, JR."

*******

JR lay back on his couch, thinking about the past and how things had been before. Now it was all different, and he needed to find a way to pull his friend back. That would be the most important part of seeing Aron. Recovering time. That would be a tough job in itself. It would be well worth it, though.

*******

Five days later, JR stood in the airport, waiting for Aron to arrive. It had been a hot day, and the young man had dressed in comfortable jean shorts, and plain white teeshirt and sneakers. He knew Aron wouldn't judge him for his lack of fashion sense. That had been Minki's job. Casting the thoughts of jealousy that threatened to flood his mind, JR smiled when he finally saw Aron walking toward him, carrying one duffle bag. The young man obviously wasn't planning on staying for very long, and that saddened JR. He would have loved for Aron to say longer.

Once he finally came closer, Aron smiled at JR, removing his sunglasses to reveal tired eyes with dark circles. That was a bad sign, but JR was determined to fix it. No one could be gloomy for long when they were around him. "Hi," Aron greeted him with a smile, but JR could see that it was forced, but not completely fake. He was trying his best to be happy. Or to pretend to be. "Where are you parked?"

JR stared at him, concerned washing over him. Aron sounded clinical, as if he was still running on auto-pilot. Resisting the urge to hug him, JR smiled and motioned for him to follow. Once they were in the car, neither of the young men said much on the drive to JR's apartment.

Once inside, JR showed Aron to his room, telling him that he was welcome to stay in JR's bed. He had a small studio apartment, so there was only one bedroom. Aron refused him, insisting that he would be happy to stay on the couch himself, instead of JR moving to the couch himself. Since the older man was insisting, JR agreed to it, setting Aron's bag in the living room.

"So, how's Teddy?" Aron shook his head, smiling quietly. "Bratty as usual, but good. He's great company, and better than a roommate." He glanced at the TV, reaching for JR's remote control. "There's a show about to come on in about fifteen minutes, so if you want to put it on the right channel, I'll order a pizza."

JR smiled, knowing that Aron was avoiding anything deep and meaningful. He was okay with that, for now. As long as he could be there for him, he was okay with avoidance. Anything that needed to be addressed would come back around before Arom left again. Sighing quietly, he the television and punched in the numbers.

Once the pizza arrived, they at in silenced, except for occasionally commenting on the show they were watching. JR was just happy his friend was there with him...and laughing. Even though it was just a response to the comedy, it was still worth the response.

*******

The next few days passed more quickly than JR would have liked, especially since he had to work and go to classes, cutting into his time spent with Aron. He also realized that he was avoiding the same subject as Aron, both finding it too difficult to talk about. Aron wasn't the only one who was broken. JR tried to pretend he wasn't, but every little reminder was like a stab in the heart and he felt the guilt weighing on him like a ton of bricks.

On the fourth day of Aron's visit, JR opened the door of his apartment to find his friend staring at the wall blankly with all of the lights off. He froze, staring at him and feeling the tension in the room like a noose around his neck, cutting out all of the air from his lungs.

"Hey," JR spoke softly, placing his keys on the hook beside the door. "I'm sorry I'm late. I had to get gas. I brought dinner, though."

Aron shook his head, still staring at the wall. "I know you act like everything's fine, but honestly, Jonghyun..." Aron's voice cracked, and JR could hear the pain in it as he continued. "Where the hell were you? As he was getting worse and worse, and I knew I was losing him, you weren't there. Would it have killed you to show up for more than a few days at a time?"

JR felt as if his legs were made of rubber as he stumbled over to the couch and set the food on the coffee table. "I was working, Aron, and I had classes. If I could have been there, I would have. You know that."

Aron threw his phone against the wall, the impact shattering it into pieces. JR knew that even though it was shattered, it wasn't in as many pieces as Aron's heart. Or his own, for that matter. "You were working and had classes, as usual. You wouldn't let Minki get close to you, but held him at a distance the entire time you knew him. How do you think that made him feel? Or me, for that matter. I didn't even tell you he was sick until later on, fearing you wouldn't treat him normally. Well, I guess it wouldn't have mattered if you did know about his sickness. You still would have been distant with him, an now it's too late for you to get to know him and find out what a wonderful person he was," Aron choked on the last word, unable to maintain his composure any longer. "He was the love of my life, and you never realized it, JR. I guess you thought he was just some guy who would be a passing interest. Well, he wasn't."

JR couldn't keep the tears back and they flowed freely down his cheeks now. No, he hadn't know about Minki's sickness that was killing him, and he had resented the younger man for keeping Aron to himself. He had seen the way Aron looked at Minki, and he could see that he loved him, and JR wanted that for himself. "You're right, Aron. I should have gotten to know him better, if only to be fair to you. He was important to you, and that mattered to me. I made a mistake with not wanting to know the guy who ripped you out of my life and took you away from me. Not as a friend, but..." JR gasped, wishing he could take the words back as soon as they left his mouth. He sounded very selfish, when he knew that Aron had been crushed by Minki's death.

There was a long silence before Aron spoke softly, swearing under his breath. "So, that's why you avoided him? I had always suspected, but..." The shorter man didn't look angry anymore, but more resigned and tired. "I had always suspected that you had feelings for me, but ignored it," he shifted on the floor, picking at a loose string in the carpet. "I guess I shouldn't be mad at you for that, especially since it wouldn't have made much of a difference. He was dying, and there was nothing I could do but care for him and watch him waste away. You did all you could, JR. It wasn't your fault. Nothing either of us or anyone else did would have saved him, and I felt guilty and like a horrible boyfriend, standing by as he died." Aron finally broke, shaking as sobs wracked his entire body. "There wasn't anything I could do. I was helpless, JR. I'm sorry..."

JR didn't say a word as he held Aron, rocking as he broke into more pieces. Throwing all of his longing for Aron away, he knew that this was when he needed him and that he was in the right place. He loved Aron, and this was the best way to show it. Maybe someday things would be different between them, but it didn't matter right now. All that mattered was being with him now. They would both heal from this together and the broken butterflies would finally settle and land somewhere safe, healed from the pain and loss.

The End