「ㅤFIRST PAGE。

「ㅤ게임제로。 story begins !!
page one
gyeo junhoo sighs in resignation.
 
he regrets a lot of decisions that he's made — one of them being the decision to join jyp entertainment ten years ago as a trainee. he was fifteen, raw with ambition and recklessness. ten years later, he knows exactly why he should have listened to his dad and stayed as an ordinary kid. 
 
his dream of becoming an all-rounded entertainer like the ones who pranced across the stages on television is diluted, but he's already sunken too deep to jump out. and now he has to pay for all that he's wasted, being employed as a staff member and not receiving any pay — it all went to paying for his expenses as a trainee. 
 
and now reality is hitting him in the face; he's paid all his debts, but the dedication towards the company has caused him to miss out on college and university, and he has nothing to fall back on.

junhoo steps out of the entertainment department's meeting room, and his shoulders slump forward. he hates having to put on a show in the presence of his superiors; being told to take on the role of a manager of the new boygroup is one issue, but having to become the manager of a boygroup with people he once trained with was another.
 
he listens when the list of potential trainees is read out, some of them more familiar than others, and his nose wrinkles instinctively.
 
junhoo isn't disgusted. he's being promised a more stable position with a regular income, but it isn't all that easy. he has to stay with the members while they go on schedules, organise the next day's activities after all the members have gone to bed, and wake up an hour earlier to make sure they wake up on time.
 
he would live the life of an idol, except that he's never going to get a chance to stand on stage and be idolised by fans. it'll hurt; he'll be constantly reminded of how he once strived to be in the shoes of the members of night, but took an alternative path down the road he never dreamt of travelling.
 
the compass in his life is gone; he's aimless, treading in circles and never finding the exit that brought him away from the mental turmoil.
 
LAYOUT BY HEEBUMDAE
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nephesh
#1
Happy belated Christmas and happy anniversary for this fic!
Meowrr
#2
Chapter 17: This is so sad omg, whoever that is I felt compelled to hug the air out of him atm ;w; ♡
nephesh
#3
Chapter 17: it feels like jiwoong to me. maybe the extremely long training time and then his pale skin description. i could be wrong though. poor kid has a long way to go.
hiikyoung
#4
Chapter 17: Poor guy. This one seems less "traumatic", but it feels very real. Who hasn't experienced this feeling?

I'm going to guess...Hajun or Dongha?
hiikyoung
#5
...not crazy, right? There was a layout change? O_o;;
nephesh
#6
Chapter 16: i managed to gain access earlier so why not lmao anyways.
Hajun... /hugs/ like what hiikyoung said, there's definitely a minor (major?) grudge and it fits jiwoong's personality and eight-year background right. he doesn't want to mess up a lot, but in return it goes to people who aren't supposedly blamed to. but hey, you can't hold bad feelings for days and expecting yourself not guilty, right? i can see both of them getting closer from that on, because you need some kind of bait to gain something. sacrifices. the house analogy; the happiest are also the saddest? but i know hajun's not afraid of getting hurt, it's just that his supports are very lacking (from the team itself; one man for themselves), so that's good for him.
moving on; i... love the details you'd given to seonha in this chapter. his health, the food, the insults, and all... makes me happy, really. and for the first time, it's a very calm ending (but don't tell me this is a 'good before the storm' thing, okay?! XD) that actually sets contrasts to the argument between the older members. this being added with the fact that both of them are very secretive. People fight like they bond, i guess. the group definitely is catching up with each other, closer in a sense of interaction. baby steps, but it's there. thank you, again, for your updates!
hiikyoung
#7
Chapter 16: Jiwoong...Jiwoong, Jiwoong, Jiwoong.../shakes head/ It's an interesting dynamic. They're both lead dancers and sub vocals. Though arguably on paper, you might consider Jiwoong the more talented since he's a bit of a triple threat and a visual. However, poor Hajun. Trying to keep that colorful, happy front must be tough (nice imagery btw). You have to wonder if Jiwoong's lashing out is due to his feeling of inadequacies (I highly suspect so). Not being a leader, being the second youngest but also being the longest trainee...wow, this part focused more on Hajun, and yet I'm getting more insight into Jiwoong. Kekeke. Anyhow! Hajun is going to be one of those characters who eventually snaps, huh? Please no...#protectHajun2016.

It's nice to see Yimin opening up to someone outside of Soohyun. I wonder what they fought about? What's interesting is it's Yimin and Seonha. And yet this doesn't surprise me. Both so quiet, with so many secrets. I can imagine they have an understanding between each other. It's wonderful to see them happy though. So much of this story so far doesn't show happiness: only sadness and hardship (not complaining! :D ). That ending was remarkably cute though. Yay~! I hope this opens them up to the others eventually. I think these boys are too much of 'islands unto themselves' than a team.

Thank you for the update. You do it so consistently. :)
nephesh
#8
Chapter 16: its 1.30 am already but thank you! i'll get the full comment in 18 hours.
hiikyoung
#9
Yassss...

I'll give you a proper comment once I get to my laptop!!
curiously
#10
Chapter 15: i get so excited when i see your updates jfc you have no idea i hope it's not jiwoong's excerpt
but as far as i know, he's the only one with a sibling unless yimin has some too... but somebody's
dad died and he was informed so so so much later. that makes me so sad and upset. like, isn't it
also the eldest child's duty in korea to help take care of the funeral process and whatnot? okay maybe
i'm getting carried away but it's always the child who holds their parent's picture during the funeral
march. WHY DIDN'T THEY LET HIM KNOOOOW. i'm talking to myself at this point but i know it was probably
so he can focus on his debut and training. but still mf. good lord i need a doctor to control the emotions i feel inside.