December 23rd 2015

Mino grabbed his tie and stood in front of the mirror. Thoughts flew through his mind and many scenarios came up while he was staring at his own reflection.
 

December 23rd.. December 23rd, 2012…
The day it all happened. The day Jinwoo left him.
The last day he ever saw or heard of him.
And it was all his fault…

“Mino! Earth calling Mino, are you still there?” the tanned boy snapped out of his musings and looked at his housemate and best friend, Seunghoon “Sorry, what did you say?”
“Mino are you alright? You’ve been out of it lately.” Seunghoon looked at his friend with a worried face.

“Yeah.. just thinking about what I should wear to the party.” Seunghoon didn’t look convinced, but decided not to say anything. “You should wear your red tie, it looks nicer with this outfit” he said handing said tie to his tanned friend. “Thanks man.”

Mino never used to be so affected by a break up, at least not until he broke up with him. They used to be a really happy couple and he now understood that he made a lot of mistakes, but he never thought that they would end up like this.

He tried everything to get him to talk to him again. He tried so hard to get back what was his or who was his in this case, but nothing seemed to work. Phone calls were ignored, e-mails went unanswered and doors unopened.

“Maybe I didn’t try hard enough,” He thought, “Maybe I should try some more.” He took out his phone and hesitated before dialing his number.

“Hello, this is Jinwoo’s phone! I’m not able to accept this call right now. Please speak after the beep tone and I’ll get back to you, pyong~” Mino couldn’t help but smile at the voicemail. He missed his Jinwoo and would do anything to hear back from him, but a voicemail just wasn’t it. With a bittersweet smile Mino decided not to leave a voicemail behind.

After another failed attempt Mino felt suffocated and decided he needed fresh air to clear his head. “Hey Seunghoon, I’m going out for a bit.. try not to break anything while I’m gone, thanks.”

As he was walking through the empty streets he realized that even a simple walk would remind him of his ex-lover. From the first time they met till they parted. Their relationship lasted for 4 years but Jinwoo and him have known each other for more than two decades.

Meeting Jinwoo was magical and he truly believed he had found an angel. He remembered it like it was yesterday. They were young and Jinwoo was new to the town. He remembered it so well, the smile he had on his face, his cute laugh, his dimple, his beautiful lips.

A smile crept on Mino’s face just by thinking about him and without realizing he arrived at the park where they met.

Mino sat on the bench looking at the children playing around in the park. “We used play here a lot too.” he uttered.
 

Little Mino was playing in the sandbox making his sandcastle when he noticed a fair skinned boy with doe eyes sitting alone on the swings. Seeing him all sad and alone made Mino feel even more sad. Luckily, thanks to his parents, the boy had already learned how to make new friends fast. “Why are you sad?” or maybe not so fast.

However, he didn’t regret asking the little boy on the swings, because he knew the he would talk to him eventually. “I..I just moved here, but no one wants to play with me” the kid said with a soft voice. “I can play with you” Mino said with a big grin “My name is Mino, Song Mino” The child’s already big eyes turned even bigger when he realized the stranger was serious about wanting to play with him “I’m Jinwoo” he replied, with his voice still so soft.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Mino was once again snapped out of his thoughts “Oh Taehyun, what are you doing here?” He looked at the smiling boy with the droopy eyebrows.

“I was just doing some last minute Christmas shopping and then I saw you here. I greeted you, but it seemed like you were too busy daydreaming.” Taehyun replied showing off his perfect set of white teeth. “So what were you thinking about?” He asked, but before Mino could reply. “Wait does Seunghoon even know you’re here? Shouldn’t you be helping him with the Christmas party preparations? Why aren’t you -“

“Taehyun, relax. Seunghoon knows I’m out and he can handle being on his own for a few hours.” Mino said showing no emotion. “Besides, I needed some fresh air.” The younger male looked at Mino with a worried face.

“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” The older male didn’t answer him, but he could feel him becoming uncomfortable with the question and decided to change the topic “You know... the stuff I got is pretty heavy, could you help me carry these to Hoonie’s and your apartment?”

“Sure.” Mino responded as he grabbed most of the bags Taehyun had with him and waited for him to start walking.

The walk to the apartment was silent, but not awkward. There were barely any words exchanged, but that was how Mino preferred it at that moment.

Arriving at the apartment, Mino put all the bags in Seunghoon’s room.

“I have to start this conversation somehow.” Taehyun thought, as he poured water in the tea kettle a lightbulb in his head lit up. “Mino do you want something to drink? Water? Tea? Coffee? Vodka?” He asked looking at the man after he came back from Seunghoon’s room and was now busy zapping through channels on the tv trying to find something interesting to watch.

“Do you even know where the alcohol is? Also just a glass of water is fine, thanks.” Taehyun chuckled a little, handing Mino his glass of water. “You do realize that this isn’t my first time here.” He then sat on the other end of the couch with his cup of tea.

“So, what has been weighing down the mind of the great Hugeboy?” Mino started laughing “It’s been awhile since anyone has called me like that,” Taehyun smiled seeing Mino finally laughing like this. “It’s nice hearing you laugh like this, but you still didn’t answer me.” Mino didn’t answer for a while so Taehyun decided to go on, “Were you perhaps thinking about him again?”

“You know it’s been 3 years right? Mino it’s not healthy for you to keep it all in and besides you shouldn’t blame yourself like this.”

Mino used to be a very strong guy. No break up would affect him like this, but all Taehyun saw right now was a vulnerable guy. He never thought he’d see him in this kind of state.

“How can I not? I treated him so badly. I took him for granted, I took his love for granted Taehyun... I hurt him.” Mino shook his head, “I wouldn’t forgive myself either if I were him.” He bit his lip trying to hold back his tears.

Taehyun sighed “Mino listen, I understand that you feel like it’s all your fault and I have to admit, you were a to him and he deserved none of what you did to him. However, it’s been 3 years since he left and you haven’t been yourself at all. Have you.. I don’t know.. ever thought of just moving on?” The younger looked over at the man who seemed to already have released few tears.

“I tried” he replied after a minute of silence “I tried so hard.” he continued “but everything I do reminds me of him. Everywhere I go, it’s like I’m going to the places I went with him except I don’t have him anymore.” Mino burst into tears in the end. “I just miss him so much” he finally said it. He finally let it out.

Without saying anything Taehyun walked towards him and held him in his arms for a while.


December 24th , 2015

“Song Mino where the hell are you? Christmas dinner is about to start! My in-laws are going to be here in less than two hours, you better be here soon too!” Seunghoon yelled on phone while his boyfriend was setting the table and trying to hear what was going on.

Seunghoon sighed and turned to his boyfriend who pretended to be busy with the plates he just put on the table. The tall man smirked while walking towards Taehyun. “Don’t even bother pretending, I know you’ve been eavesdropping the whole time.” He said while wrapping his arms around his lover’s waist.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. Is everything alright? He’s coming right?” Seunghoon kissed his cheek “Don’t worry he’ll be fine.” He said and continued leaving kisses on his neck. “While you stop worrying about Mino, let’s have some fun time for ourselves” Taehyun laughed and gave him a teasing slap.

“Your parents are going to be here in few hours for our early Christmas dinner, you really want their second impression of me to be of someone who can’t keep his clothes on around their son?” Seunghoon just laughed.

Meanwhile, Mino was once again driving around, however he had a purpose this time. He was going to Jinwoo’s apartment hoping the man would at least try hearing him out even though he was 3 years too late.

He stopped his car in the parking lot. He looked around “Nothing has changed.” He thought, “Everything still looked like it did 3 years ago.” He smiled at the thought of finally getting to see him again even if Jinwoo never wanted to see his face after their break up. He just needed to see him one more time before he could really move on.

‘001’ He pressed, waiting for the reception to open the door for him. When he heard a clicking noise, he pushed the door open and quietly thanked the person behind the counter and ran upstairs.

“404, 404,404” he kept chanting till he finally reached the fourth floor. Mino raised his fist to knock on the door, but he hesitated for a good minute. “What if he doesn’t open the door? What if he already moved on? What if he already has someone else? What if he just doesn’t want to talk to me?”

Many what if’s were flying in his mind to the point that he wanted to turn around and just walk away. However he needed to do this, he had to and most importantly, he wanted to see him one more time.

“Here goes nothing.” He says, knocking on the door twice before hearing someone walk to the door. “Who is it?” A voice that did not sound like his Jinwoo asked.

“Uh.. this is Mino, I was wondering if I could speak to Jinwoo, Kim Jinwoo.” Mino didn’t hear anything for a solid minute, but that minute felt like hours of silence and it made him feel very nervous.

“Please, I need to talk to him.” After that minute of silence, he heard some shuffling followed by the lock being opened. A boy with messy blond bed hair and thick lips opened the door slightly.

“I knew it.” he thought “I knew he had moved on” Looking up and down trying to figure out how and when Jinwoo might have gotten together with this hipster rocker he saw in front of him.

“Who are you?” He asked unsure if he even wanted to know who this boy was. “Woo Jiho” the boy with the thick lips answered. Mino swallowed and repeated his question “Does Kim Jinwoo live here?” The boy shook his head, “I don’t know a Kim Jinwoo, I’m sorry”

Mino didn’t understand, he was very certain that Jinwoo still lived there. “I’m sorry, but I think you got the wrong house. Whoever you are searching for, doesn’t live here.” The boy revealed more of his face, he was clearly confused about what was going on.

“No, I’m sorry. I thought someone I knew lived here, but they moved I guess.” Being upset was an understatement, Mino was beyond disappointed in himself. “Look it’s alright man, wish you luck finding your friend.” He nodded and walked away.

With a heavy disappointed feeling, he walked to his car and drove back home.

Back at the apartment Taehyun was still very busy preparing their Christmas dinner, but a lot of things didn’t feel well. He looked at Seunghoon hesitating if he should even talk to him about this heavy feeling he had and since was also Seunghoon’s friend he felt even more dejected about this.

“My dear Taehyun, what’s gotten you so sad today? We’re about to have dinner with my mom and dad, you love my mom and dad. Oh did I tell you your mom and brother are coming too?”

Taehyun raised an eyebrow at Seunghoon. “You do realize I was the one sending out the invitations right?” He sighed hoping the man wouldn’t get mad at him after the topic he was about to start talking about.

“Seunghoon… I need to tell you something” Seunghoon lowered the volume and looked over at Taehyun.

“What’s wrong honeybunch?” The younger bit his lip and walked over to where his boyfriend was seated. He took a deep breath before starting to talk. “You know how Mino’s been trying to reach Jinwoo, but they all ended up in failed attempts?” Seunghoon nodded slowly “yeah, what about it?” Taehyun closed his eyes for a moment “I know why they are all failing, I know why he’s never had an answer.”

Seunghoon sat straight and looked at his boyfriend in confusion “Taehyun, what do you mean?” The man’s breath started to quicken and tears started to well up in his eyes. “Seunghoon, the reason why he never answers the phone is because -“ Taehyun’s sentence was cut short by the door opening and Mino walking in the living room.

“Oh! Awkward..” he had gotten himself a glass of water and sat at the kitchen counter looking through his phone “You guys know you have a bedroom for yourselves right?” he said smiling at the couple.

“Ha ha, very funny.” Seunghoon said raising a pillow before Taehyun gave him a warning glare. “You know what... You should go change, dinner is starting soon.” The older looked over at him and the latter gave him a peck as a small ‘thank you’.

“You’re right. I will let you lovebirds alone then, see you guys at the dinner.” Mino gave a quick wave which was responded by a ‘see you’ from Taehyun and a wave from Seunghoon.

“I have to go back to the cooking, our parents will be here soon and I don’t want them to see me like this.” The youngest gave his boyfriend a kiss and walked back to their open kitchen.

An hour passed quickly and Taehyun’s Mom and brother were the first to arrive and Seunghoon’s parents soon quickly arrived afterwards. When everyone was settled in the dining room the man pulled Mino with him in the kitchen. Hesitating how to tell his friend he instead pulled a velvet box out of his pocket and showed him.

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