Bonita POV

 

The past month I have been gathering more and more information and it seems that the investigation is taking a big step forward. They rescued the boy and things here were a mess. Jungsoo has been cranky ever since and staying away more and more. And every time he leaves the door, my heart breaks more and more.

“Jagi, do you want to go and spend some time together today?” Jungsoo plants himself down next to me and I can feel myself tensing up. I can’t show him, but knowing

he has been up to, I can’t help but be a bit afraid of him and he seems to notice.

“Come let’s go and spend some time together.”

 

We drive off and the entire ride we have been just quiet, not saying a word.  Put the radio on and have been avoiding talking to him in that way. We arrive what seems to be some charity event and Jungsoo gets out.. Is this where he wanted to go? He opens the door for me and I get out ignoring his hand.

“Aah Jungsoo how nice to come again! Is this your beautiful girlfriend you have told us about?” Jungsoo nods and introduces me to the person that seems to be running this charity event.

 

We have separated and we are now both helping people, I start to talk with some grandma’s and they seem to be in full glory of Jungsoo, if they only knew. “Your boyfriend has been holding this event every month for the past month. Showing up every month helping us”

“What? For how long?”

“Almost a year, in 2 weeks a year, then a special event will be held” They seem to be distracted by something else and I look at Jungsoo helping someone. Laughing, being so kind. He is confusing me so much. He notice that I am looking at him and he smiles at me and I can’t help, but smile back at him.

“Here I got your favorite” He hands me my favorite ice-cream and together we walk along the event.

“You started this event a year ago?”

“Almost a year ago”

“yeah still two weeks, just as”

“Yeah…” He falls silence and looks afar “I started this around the same day I started dating you.”

“Why?” He looks nervous and I don’t get him, he is so confusing.

“You make me want to do good. So I though the start would be this.” His confession startles me, he looks nervous at me and then seems to be convinced “Lia, you make me want to quit it all. You make me want to be a better person.”

“So why don’t you” I take his hand and softly go over his wounds, they have closed up nicely, what is a relieve. That means he didn’t beat up someone else. Or at least personally.

“Because we need to secure our future first.”

“What do you mean?” He shakes his head and I soflty make him face me again

“I don’t want you to look at me like that..”

“Like what?” He gives me sad smile and carefully some hair behind my ear “Like you have for the past month, like that. Scarred, hurt…”

“Jungsoo…”

“I get it, I do bad things for a living, I just don’t want to make you…I don’t want to ruin you too. I want to keep you looking at me like you did a second ago.”

“I am” I give him a hug and my heart is aching for him.. I feel that he is crying and he wraps his arms strongly around me “I don’t approve of what you are doing. So please just…”

“I will stop” We break apart and he cups my face, he looks loving into my eyes and smiles “I will stop for you, I promise.. This time I will.”

 

Jungsoo POV

 

“What happened to stopping?” Heechul places himself besides me and I shake my head

“He is quitting, he just never specified what” Kangin pops up and he shakes his arms off “I will take a short break, I will be back soon”

“Jungsoo.” Heechul looks warning full at me “You can’t keep on lying to her.”

“Who says I am”

“She has been happy the past week, she thinks you are done. And here you are. Running your business”

“It would be lost without you wouldn’t it be.” I stare straight out and ignore his words “Look I know what I said. I am trying to.” I stand up and Kangin is ready for round two. I walk in with him and within a few minutes we have gotten the answer we need.

 

I arrive back home and I can hear laughter arise from the kitchen. I slowly walk closer and open the door and I can see Lia and Hyukjae laughing at some photo’s. I study them and they seem happy. I can’t help but feel happy at the sight of them as well.

“Hyung!” Hyukjae notices me and I push myself of the door frame, Lia smiles at me and I sit beside her, kissing her forehead “What are you guys watching?”

“Hyukjae gave me this photobook, filled with pictures he made over the past year”

I look at Hyukjae and he seems be getting more and more red every second Lia compliments his book. I knew they were good friends, but after settling their differences they are almost inseparable

“You guys continue this, I have some other things to figure out” I see Lia looking at me but I give her a smile and it seems to settle her questions.

 

Ooh I don’t know how long I will be able to keep up this facade. I want to change and if I ever would it would be for her. She has been bringing up the good things in me, she makes me want to be a good person. But what if that just isn’t who I am.

“You need to stop doubting that you aren’t a good person. “Heechul sits down in front of me and I can’t help but laugh “Are you a mind reader”

“I know you well enough, so yeah”

“You are messing things up. You have enough money to life like this the rest of your life”

“I don’t, I need to have a secure future with her, where she can be safe, where I can protect her.”

“That isn’t what it is about is it” Heechul stands up and looks in disbelieve at me “I knew that in some level you enjoyed this more than all we did, but you… You don’t want to give up your power.” He shakes his head and walks out. I can’t deny his words sting a little, I am not doing this for power. I shake off those feelings and I hear someone softly knocking and I see Lia standing there, holding up a cup of tea

“here you go” She sits down onto my lap and after I have place the cup of tea onto my desk I wrap my arms around her “Are you okay?”

“I am…I am okay now” I nestle my face into her shoulder. I could stay like this  all-day long. As long she is here, I will be okay.

 

 

Hyukjae POV

 

“Thanks again” I hear a sweet voice coming from my left and Emilia is smiling brightly at me “What are you going to do today?” She pours herself some juice and hands me a glass as well “I am not sure yet, you?”

“I think I am going to stay in today, just relax a little bit”

“Think you might be able to do a lot of relaxing sweetheart.” Jungsoo walks in and hugs Lia and gives me one as well whispering to gather everyone. I nod and leave immediately. I make eye contact with Emilia and I give her a sad smile and she seems to understand what is happening.

I try not to listen into their conversation, but it seems that Emilia is pretending not to understand what is happening. I gather everyone around and we are now just waiting for Jungsoo. “I forgot something! I will be back!” I shout back to the others and head back inside, into the kitchen and there she is standing, by the window looking outside, turning by the sound of me barging in.

“Hey” She whispers it and it is clear to see that she is a bit upset, I walk towards her and stand beside her, watching out the window.

“why are you going? You can just say no and not go.” I look down and I know that is what I want.. But I can’t..

“If it only was that simple” I hear the cars starting and I have to head outside

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I have no choice.” I sigh and quickly walk back outside. I get in the car and Heechul is looking with a question marked on his face at me “Hyung when do you think we will get out of this world?”

“I don’t know, why?” I start the car and I just scrooge my shoulders up “It is just we are getting older. 30 is the number that you are serious about family and…”  

“Hyukjae lets talk about this after we are done today” I nod and when we arrive at our sight, I know it isn’t going to be pretty.

 

I am washing my hands again and the water is still slightly colored red. I let out a scream out of frustration and I hear someone stop behind me. “Not now hyung.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Emilia?” I look away from her and quickly check the sink “Who..Why…I don’t want you to see this”

“Are you hurt?” I shake my head and she takes my hand and makes me sit down onto my bed “Good.” She hands me the cup of tea she brought. And sits down next to me

“Don’t worry, I know who you are. I just want to me make sure that you are all right.”

“I am okay…” I take her hand and sigh “You know Jungsoo has been a better person because of you. He wants to be a better person, you make him want to be the best version of himself. You make all of us want to be better”

 

Bonita POV

 

Hyukjae’s words are still lingering in my head. I turn onto my back and I feel bad. The entire day I have been looking for files on Jungsoo. Today he is also busy with work. I have been trying to avoid it, but it is clear that he is busy marking his territory and is getting rid of his competition.

“Bo are you sure of what you have sent us?” John and the entire team is on the phone and I am in the garden

“I am, they are taking out every competition in this region, in this country. For starters. But it is also strange”

“Jeez… What is strange?”

“This isn’t like Jungsoo” I can already hear John objecting so I quickly ask them to listen “Look in the past he has been cruel, been a monster, but this.. This is some next level , but stupid as hell. This seems more like the plan of someone else”

“Are you saying someone is laying this out to him?”

“Yes, someone in this house. Someone knows that Jungsoo is trying to quite”

“And he is now making Jungsoo doing his dirty work, so he can take over when he is behind bars.” John finishes my thoughts and he seems worried, the entire team does

“this person isn’t like Jungsoo, is like he doesn’t have a conscious. He wants to be powerful and he is having Jungsoo making everything ready for him. So he can just take over and just put him behind bars” I listen to their conversation and it does make me nervous.

“Should we profile him?” I ask them and they nod “Bo we need more information, give us some more details about the things going on.”

‘I will do that, I can also send a report on everyone’s character.” They agree on it and tell me something more they have found out.

“Also, be careful, this person is most likely, just as you suggested close to Jungsoo. You probably live with that person. He won’t let you be the person stopping him from getting it. So when you feel like you are danger let us know immediately”

“I will do that.” I hear something crack behind me “but I hope I have made clear that I don’t deal anymore. I am done with that world. I will send you to my contact. But that is all.” I quickly hang up and turn around

“Emilia, everything okay?” I see Kangin standing there, leaning against a tree.

“Yeah just a bit of trouble. Is Jungsoo inside?” He nods and I quickly walk on. This is trouble. Right now everyone is a suspect. I look back at him before entering and he is looking at me as well, his eyes looking worried, curious. I wave at him with a big smile. I can’t make him be suspicious of me. I don’t know who this person is yet, I have to be careful.

 

“Hii you already back” I lay down beside Jungsoo and wrap my arms around him. What Hyukjae said, does enhance my feelings for Jungsoo. I don’t want to believe he is the guy that I have studied, that has been portrayed to me. And hearing what Hyukjae said and what is going on now. It gives me hope that he is indeed not.

“I am, we were done quickly today” I take his hand in mine and I am glad to see that they aren’t hurt.

“How was your day?”

“Boring” I snuggle up to him and he kisses my forehead “About our anniversary. I made a reservation at this very nice restaurant”

“aah how nice” I give him a kiss and he looks at me with loving eyes “Already a year”

“Feels like longer, don’t you think?” He nods and softly my hair “It does, in a good way of course”

“of course” I chuckle and he kisses my forehead on more time before he drifts of into a deep slumber. I slowly remove myself from his embrace and look at the file that I can see lying on the chair. I read it and it is something about some country. Is he going on vacation? I put it back in the same spot and head to the bathroom to clean myself a bit up.  

I can’t do this… I can’t betray them… I can’t betray him… The voice that I tried keeping at the back of my head keeps popping up, what makes it only harder and harder to deliver intel to the rest. I look at Jungsoo and he is fast asleep, trusting me completely.

Looking at him like this, the guilt comes creeping back up again, they all trust me, they have welcomed me into their live, their home. I can only imagine how they will if they ever find out that I…

“Why are you frowning so deeply?” He stretches his hand for me and he pulls me closer. Wraps his arms around me “I don’t like the color of the walls, but I don’t know what other color to give them”

“So this is what keeps you awake at night?” Jungsoo makes it sound like he is joking but he must have noticed that I have been awake at night or at least out of bed

“Well  I have everything I already want, so nothing to complain about”

“Except the walls then” Jungsoo kisses me on the cheek and I nod “I am glad to hear that. I am happy that you are as happy as I am” He hugs me a bit closer and I lay my head onto his chest. Listening to his heartbeat. Such a calming sound.

I wish I could listen to this forever.

If I only could be Emilia forever.

But I can’t forget, I am Bonita.

I am Bo… Repeating this over and over, sleep finally overwhelms me and I hear Jungsoo softly whisper that he loves me. Everything seems so perfect.

Too bad that it is all a lie.