“What do you mean, welcome to the Bangtan Gang??” She screeched, slamming her hands down on the table. Mon looked more than amused, watching with some kind of sick mirth in his eyes. 

“It means that you can’t go anywhere. You’re stuck with us now.” Another boy came forward, small in stature and dark hair curling past his ears. She glared.

“That doesn’t make any sense! I didn’t want to, there’s no reason for me to be apart of a gang -- this is kidnapping!” She shot back, glaring as more members come forward.

“That’s how you join.” The same boy shrugged, “We take you, and if you survive, you’re in.” 

“Then why are you such a small gang?” She countered, and Mon clicked his gun onto safety. 

“Not all of them were as smart as you.” He said, slinging the gun back into… wherever he got it from. She didn’t want to know.

She was at a loss for words. She shook her head. “Impossible. I’m dreaming, this isn’t real –“ 

“Oh it’s real, all right.” Mon patted her on the shoulder, “Now, how about telling us your name so we don’t call you ‘’ for the rest of our lives together – unless you like being called that.” He teased, and she was already seething when he asked again.

She sighed, however, when she was reminded that she really wouldn’t be able to escape. Something told her, looking at the seven present, that if they could leave willingly without getting shot in the back, they would. She had a feeling that there had been attempts by others before. No gang is this small without being meticulous and particularly ruthless.

“Shin Jin-Kyong.” She finally admitted, scrunching her nose as some of the boys chortled at her old fashioned sounding name.

“Jin-Kyong.” Mon pursed his lips, thinking about it. “Nah, people would know you’re definitely not from the streets if we called you that.” 

“Yong.” Kook offered, and Mon looked over at the young one in surprise. “I-i… She was pretty courageous, I think it suits her…” She bit back a laugh. Kook, it seemed, really was cute and naïve. Mon shrugged, looking back at her for approval. 

“Yong.” She tried it out, and she pursed her lips. “I can’t believe I’m actually going along with this.” She ran her fingers through her hair. This was absolutely insane. 

“Alright, Yong it is. It definitely fits more of a street term, so people shouldn’t question you.” Mon nodded.

She sighed, nodding slowly. Her entire identity was now being rewritten. No longer Shin Jin-Kyong… but Yong. 

“Alright, Kook, take Yong and get rid of all of her clothes.” Mon pushed her towards the boy that had gotten her into this mess. “Min, give her some old ones that she can wear until we can get her some more.” The orange haired boy stepped forward at ‘Min’, but Kook just started laughing.

“No way, Min’s way too short for her to wear anything of his.” He laughed, gesturing to the height difference between Yong and Min. She looked over, comparing their height. She definitely had a good two inches on him, much to Min’s dismay when he realized what Kook had been talking about.

“She’s wearing heels, that’s not fair!” He protested, pointing to her boots. Yong lifted one of her feet, showcasing that the heel itself was really only half an inch, only serving to make Kook laugh harder and Min blush a pretty shade of red against his tanned skin.

She smiled apologetically at him, she felt bad for causing him more misery or embarrassment, but Kook had a point. The only thing she’d be able to borrow from him would be tops or maybe shoes. 

Mon sighed, “Hope, then.  You got some spare clothes you can part with for a while?” He asked. Hope had a good three inches on Yong, she noted, but anything he gave her would probably fit.

Hope gave her a blinding smile, gesturing her to follow him. “Sure do! Come on, sis.”

She blinked. “…Sis…?” She asked herself, not meaning for him to hear, but apparently he had good enough hearing to catch the questioning tone and turned to face her, still smiling brightly. 

“Yong and Hope, our nicknames are kind of matching. So that makes you my sister!” He laughed before going back to the boxcar door and pushing it open. “Come on then sis!” He called, jumping down. Kook pulled her along, shoulder checking Min on his way out, laughing as Min protested and held onto his shoulder. “Yong!” He called, making her jolt and join him at the edge of the boxcar’s opening, scooting herself to soften the jump to the ground. Kook and Hope were waiting for her, and then started off into the night, away from the boxcars. 

She followed behind quietly, listening to the mindless chatter between Hope and Kook, the former laughing and commenting on Kook’s reiteration of her (what she’d like to call) kidnapping. Yong didn’t know what she was waiting for exactly, whether it be for her to wake up and realize it was all just a lucid, outrageous dream or for a bullet to be lodged in her head while she was walking away with them.

“—Ng? Yong! Hey, Yong!” She was brought out of her thoughts by Hope, who looked back at her, something akin to concern gracing his features. “You okay?”

She paused. Was she okay? She wasn’t physically harmed, maybe a few bruises and scrapes from being thrown into the bed of a truck and pulled around everywhere for the past few hours, but something about the tone of Hope’s question seemed to be asking much more than just physical.

“It’s a process.” She answered softly, shrugging a bit. Hope’s face twisted into an emotion she couldn’t quite place, and she knew that wasn’t the answer he was expecting or wanting to hear. But that was the answer she had. Kook just rolled his eyes, pulling her along. 

“Alright. Here we go. Headquarters.” He announced, reaching the building that she had supposed would’ve been an engine house or a round house of some sorts, but when he swung the door open, it was revealed to be more or less of a headquarters like Kook had said. It really didn’t look like much, papers and bottles littered the floor, along with some cigarette butts and a questionable smell lingering that made her wonder if some of those cigarette butts were actually cigarette butts. 

Hope and Kook looked happy, heading in and leaving Yong in the entryway to take in everything. 

“It’s a process.” She said when she realized that they were looking at her expectantly. Hope’s face twisted like before, and she could feel the mood drop from Kook. If they were expecting something more, she reasoned, they shouldn’t. 

“You all talked out after that spat with Mon, huh?” Hope offered, trying to lighten the mood. She nodded a bit, walking towards them. It wasn’t that Yong had a problem with talking; she was just… quiet, especially when processing information. That didn’t mean she didn’t have a temper that could permit her to spit fire when provoked. He headed down to where the hall turned left, every so often checking back to make sure she was following. It wasn’t like she could go anywhere. She was following Hope and Kook was bringing up the rear. 

She saw that the walls were decorated with bright spray painted designs, and took to observing and trying to make out what was on the walls. Cityscapes, graffiti tags, words that looked like poetry of sorts when strung together, and she admired the handiwork. Whoever did these was very talented, she would admit.

“Ah, here’s my room.” Hope announced, proudly showcasing a dark green door with bright words that said “JHOPE” in stylized letters. She almost wanted to laugh at the likeliness of college dorms the nametags on the doors had, but was struck with a strange pang of homesickness for her college home. She’d probably never see it again. It hurt to think about, so she pushed the thought aside. 

“You like green, I’m guessing?” She made the effort to note, after all, if she was going to be stuck here… It wouldn’t hurt to have a friend, especially one who looked so bright and optimistic as this Hope guy was. Regardless of her lack of ability to make small talk, it was at least something, she thought. Her thoughts were confirmed when he smiled at her. A smile that lit up his face so much that it made Yong wonder if a smile of that wattage could power the entire city. She managed a small smile back.

“Favorite color. V did all of our doors, so you know exactly whose room is whose around here. I’m sure they’ll do yours too once they get some more paint.” He said, as if trying to assure her that her new door wouldn’t be left out of the customization. She shrugged, not sure of how she felt with them seeming so final in her staying here. 

He opened the door, revealing the inside of his room to be like a typical college dorm, some absent clothes wrangled around the room, a mattress that had several blankets and pillows strewn everywhere, various trinkets and treasures that meant nothing in Yong’s eyes, but she knew that they probably meant much more to the boy in front of her. 

Hope shuffled around the room, picking through the small piles of clothes he had around the room, occasionally eyeing her as if to guess her style or sizes. She glanced down at her current wardrobe, and absently wondered if they’d at least let her keep her jacket. It wasn’t that it was new, but the leather jacket held fond memories of late nights out and cursing at cold fingers while running out at 2 am to get fast food because they lost track of time studying. 

“These will do for now, they’ll keep you warm. We don’t exactly have working heat.” Hope said, giving her a small bundle of clothes before ushering Kook out.

“We’ll be out here when you’re done changing. Take your time.” He offered, closing the door behind her. She blinked. She hadn’t expected him to give her the decency of privacy. Sighing, she made her way over to the mattress and plopped herself down, pulling her boots off and shrugging her jacket off before inspecting the clothes given to her. A black and white sweater, which on her would be considered oversized, a pair of too long worn through jeans with smudges of what looked like paint and dust lingering on the edges of the pockets and threadbare hems of the pants, a loose flannel to use as a makeshift belt around her waist, she was sure, and then a dirty pair of converse about two sizes too big on her feet. She felt like she was going to trip over the too large shoes, but the floor was cement and it was too cold to walk along the hall barefooted. She wobbled her way to the door, leaning her head out, finding the two on either side of the doorway. 

Faith coughed, getting their attention. “It’s fine… but the shoes…” She stuck one foot out, the large shoe looking very out of place on her body. Kook stifled a laugh, trying to cover the sound with his hands. It didn’t escape either of the two, and Hope reached out to swipe at the young boy. 

“Stop that! It’s not her fault!” Hope hissed, before reaching a hand out towards Yong. She took it hesitantly, scared to fall on her face with nothing but hard cement to break her fall. Hope pursed his lips, looking between his door and Yong’s feet.

“What to do, though? I don’t have anything smaller…” He thought. Kook was still trying to contain his giggles, being of little use to the small dilemma at hand. 

Yong remembered the small, petite orange haired boy… Min, was it? “Maybe… Min has something I can borrow? His shoes or socks might be a better fit, honestly.” Hope and Kook lit up at the suggestion.

“Perfect! Wow, Kook, between your tales of her and the spectacle between her and Mon, she really is as smart as she’s told to be!” Hope smiled, bright as ever, and Yong couldn’t see how a literal ball of sunshine like Hope could even end up in a gang like this… But thoughts along those lines were pushed away. Even the light held darkness, she reminded herself.

Kook motioned for her to follow, “Come on, I’ll show you Min’s room. We can raid it for shoes!” He seemed delighted at the chance to go through someone’s room, but even more so at the mention of shoes. If Yong were a bit of a nosy person, she’d pry, but she was more concerned with herself and making sure her feet didn’t go numb from the cold tonight.  So she followed him down the hallway, stopping by a room with pretty light blue words spelling out “Dooly-Min” written in stylized letters, as well as a scribbled sharpie with the words “Respect me you brat I’m older than you” underneath. 

Kook didn’t give her much time to think about it, though, swinging the door open and marching into the room, looking akin to Hope’s, but at a much more organized space. It looked more like a regular dorm room, Faith thought, but her attention was quickly brought to the young boy sitting gleefully in front of a row of… shoes, it looked like.

“Min always gets the best shoes, but his feet are so small, I can never steal them.” Kook rambled, inspecting the shoes carefully as he went through them.

Yong watched him from a distance as he rambled about the different colors and tracks of shoes and what he thought would be best for her to wear for now until they could get her new ones-- 

“How do you afford all of these things?” She interrupted, curiosity winning over. She had an inkling, but having it verbalized and confirmed would make her sleep a little better… She thought.

Kook paused, before shrugging and going back to looking at the line of shoes that Min apparently owned, “Dunno. Agust brings them back and whoever they fit they take. Sometimes it’s only one pair; sometimes it’s a lot, you never know with him. I’m not complaining, well, kinda, since Min always gets the good ones—“

“Going through my shoes again, Kookie?” Speak of the devil and he shall appear, she supposed, turning to find Min leaning against his door frame, looking amused at the two in the room, peering over the line of shoes.

“I’m doing it for a good reason,” Kook defended himself immediately, and it almost made Yong laugh at the thought of him doing this many times before, “Yong needs shoes and you’re the only one who probably shares her foot size!” 

“Yah, brat, what are you saying?!” Min playfully yelling, pretending to huff and puff, heading over to where Kook was, giving him a playful kick to the . Kook whined and leaned towards Yong. 

“Look at how mean he is to me, save me Yong!” He pleaded, looking up at her with large eyes. She looked between him and Min, who looked at her with a curious gaze. She felt her cheeks burn, she wasn’t that interesting, why was he looking at her like that?

“Respect your elders and he won’t be mean.” She said, lightly knocking on Kook’s head after a moment’s hesitation. The smile that Min gave her was so blinding that it caught her off guard, reminding her of Hope and similar questions passing through her thoughts. Kook whined again, pouting. Min laughed and ruffling the boy’s dark hair, bending down to look at the shoes he had.

“Here.” He said, turning to Yong once more, holding out a pair of simple black ankle boots, no heel. She took the shoes, using the wall as support to try and take Hope’s off and put these on.

Min was still smiling when she had switched shoes, wriggling her toes in the boots. Almost a perfect fit, a little wide, but nonetheless she could maneuver herself without fear of her face meeting cold concrete for the night. 

The night. She froze, staring down at the boots in horror. She was stuck in a rail yard with seven boys she didn’t even know, apparently apart of a gang with no way out. She was stuck. She was trapped with no way out. Yong… She couldn’t even use her real name. The weight of this day was starting to crash down onto her. 

“Everyone’s heading to bed, you should too. It’s been a long day.” Min offered after the strange silence, feeling the aura from Yong take a cold turn. She nodded quietly, not looking up. 

“Take her to Jin, I think that’s the room she’ll be using tonight.” Min directed Kook, pushing the two out of the room. “I got to get some shut eye too, you know. Tomorrow might be a long day with Hope, I’m not about to lose him downtown again.” 

Kook nodded, bidding his fellow gang member goodbye and headed down the hallway from which they came, coming to the room on the corner of the hallway. ‘Jin’ in pretty pink letters was on the door. Yong couldn’t even find the humor to ask about the pink, her mind going back to her roommates and how they’d react to her being gone for so long. Did they worry? Had they looked for her? Were the police involved? What about her family --

“Ah, you’re here.” She looked up, seeing a tall, gentle looking man in front of them. Jin, she figured. Kook nodded at the other’s statement, gesturing over to Yong.

“I was told she’d be staying here tonight.” Yong let the statement sink in before another wave of panic settled in. Staying with a man she didn’t even know? While they had been kind and polite she should’ve figured that the line would have to be crossed soon. People like them weren’t just nice. 

“Mhm, come on in.” She hesitated, looking wearily into the threshold. She didn’t want to. She shouldn’t have to. Jin noticed the hesitation and let a small smile grace his face.

He bent down so he could be at her face level. “Hey, Yong, right?” 

She nodded, trying to blink back the tears prickling at the back of her eyelids.

“I’m Jin, it’s nice to meet you.” This soft conversation wasn’t helping, if they were going to do these kinds of things to her, they should just get it over with so she can cry herself to sleep after.

Jin raised a hand, pausing before speaking, “Is it alright if I touch your head?” Her eyes snapped up, catching worry and concern on his features. She shook her head. Don’t touch me, she pleaded silently. He nodded, hand dropping.

“Okay. That’s fine. You’ve been through a lot today, haven’t you? I just wanted to let you know that my room is yours for the night. Meaning I won’t be in here. I usually don’t sleep here anyways.” She caught a slight blush at the confession on the man’s cheeks, but focused on the earlier statement.

“I can sleep alone?” 

Jin nodded, his smile widening. “Of course. I’ll be in Mon’s room, but you know, you can come to me for absolutely anything okay? If you want me to check on you at some point, let me know now before I let you get settled down.”

She gulped, seeing Kook’s face and Jin’s looking at her with nothing but concern. It was definitely overwhelming, but she wanted to be alone.

“I…I’m okay.” She managed, and Jin nodded again, careful to keep his hands away from her proximity. 

“Alright. Just come to Mon’s room if you need anything, okay? Come on, Kook, it’s lights out. Good night, Yong.” And with that, the two had gone away and she was left staring at the doorway. She took a shaky breath, taking in her surroundings. Unlike the messy rooms she’d been in previously, Jin’s room was nicely put together, clothes neatly folded and placed on what looked like a crude version of a bookshelf turned into a set of drawers, with a mass of blankets and pillows making a nest on top of a threadbare mattress. 

Yong sniffed, heading towards the bed, wanting nothing more than to bundle up and forget the day she had.  The room was getting darker, with the bare light she had left from the day and darker thoughts came with the dimming room. Yong attempted to pull the blankets up closer to her, shivering and shaking. It wasn’t just from the cold. 

“Hey, I’m sorry, but could I come in for a minute? I forgot something.” She snapped her head towards the door where the voice came from. She opened to say something, but words were failing Yong at this moment. Her legs wouldn’t be much use either with her shaking. 

The door creaked open ever so slightly, Jin’s head peeking in and glancing around with caution. Catching sight of her already wrapped up in blankets, he slid into the room, heading straight towards his drawers, picking out a sweater and what looked like sweatpants. Yong curled up tighter within her small fortress, determined not to let the male see a sign of weakness. She wouldn’t allow them to use this against her in a later date. 

“You know, you’re taking this a lot better than my first night here.” Jin paused before leaving. “You really fit your name. Yong.”

She bit her lip, before tentatively saying, “Your… first night?” She cursed inwardly at her voice sounding small and weak. Jin smiled at her, though, as if he didn’t even think of her as weak. He hesitated before walking towards her.

“I can tell you… Mind if I join you on the mattress for a bit?” Jin asked, tilting his head. Yong scooted over a bit, making room for him. It took him two long strides to get to the bed, settling in where he was facing her. 

“So, my first night… It definitely wasn’t easy. Maybe that’s because of our positions being different.” Jin pursed his lips. “I was looking for trouble, honestly. I was reckless, wanting to rebel, I wanted a rush… So I went looking for it. Safe to say that I found it, huh?” He joked, cracking a smile. Yong nodded slowly, trying to fight the tears.

“So, what happened -- Ah, yes!” Jin nodded after pausing. “Like I said, I went looking for it. I found it in the form of drag racing, which led me to Bangtan. Now, at first, I was more or less just a second string member. Went to parties with them on the more wild side of the city, drank, smoked a few things, did a few things, a few people.” He listed, shaking his head. 

Yong scooted towards him, the story pulling her in. “So… how?” She trailed off, tilting her head. 

“Right. My first night as an actual member of Bangtan…  I got really ed up that night, messed around with the wrong group, got real cocky about a race and it backfired, not unlike Kook that night you found him.” Jin sighed, “But then Mon found me. He, Agust and Hope went on a run, and stumbled across me on their way back to the Railroad.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “So they brought me here. I was out of my mind, saying crazy , puking my lungs up –“ He glanced over to see Yong scrunching up her nose in distaste, “Yeah, trust me, it’s worse reliving the memory than hearing it.”

He was quiet for a few minutes, “Anyways, I was miserable. Hated every second of it, couldn’t even have told you what my name was. And when I woke up the next morning, there Mon was, gun in hand, looking at me with the intent to kill—“

“But he didn’t.” She jumped in, looking at him. Jin met her eyes, giving her a half smile. “But he didn’t.” He agreed.

“Why didn’t he kill you? Mine was just because of logic but –“

“He didn’t kill me because I could drive.” Jin nodded. Yong blinked. Was that it?

“Really?”

“Yeah. Like I said, I was a drag racer. Hope wasn’t fast enough to get out of the last run he had, so they wanted someone who could get away faster. That’s me. I can lose anyone in this city. I’ve been driving it for so long…” He sighed again. 

“Wow.” Yong nodded, settling back into her blankets and mulling over the story.

Jin smiled at her. “You know, Mon usually doesn’t keep unnecessary people around. Sure, you’re very intelligent, much like he is, but… He knows what he’s doing. And I promise when I say this: We’re not bad guys. Just…” He trailed off, looking a little lost for words.

“A bad situation?” Yong offered, curling up once more in the blankets. Jin’s smile faded a little. 

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that either. It’s complicated. You’ll understand.” He tried again, and she shrugged.  Yong doubted she would, but she wouldn’t dismiss it.

“Yong, do you mind me asking something that might sound a little strange?” He asked, looking at her face. Well, from what he could see of her face. Yong nodded slowly. 

“Are you okay?” It was the same question she had been asked time and time again since being brought to this “Headquarters”, and each time she had tried to convince not only the others around her but herself that she was alright… But the fact was:

“I-I’m not.” She felt pathetic, having this one question being asked just one more time and completely breaking down. But this time it was different. It wasn’t the small boy who had gotten her into this, or strange men who seemed like sunshine, this…

Jin was so much akin to her. A normal person, she thought. She could register the feeling of being safe with him, now that her anxiety and panic had winded down for the time being. He felt safe and comfortable and god was that something she had craved since Kook had dragged her off campus. 

Jin simply sat there, letting her cry. “Is it alright if I touch your head?” He asked softly, not wanting to make matters worse. He had asked before and was denied permission, but this time, Yong nodded her head slowly in consent. “Okay, if you change your mind, don’t hesitate to tell me. I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to.”  

Yong all but leaned into Jin’s hand as he touched her head. Everything about Jin seemed so gentle, so soft, she couldn’t imagine him being something like a drag racer or being drugged out of his mind. 

“Just let it all out. You’ll feel better in the morning.” Jin told her, and so Yong let it out, sobbing and sniffling, being all kinds of ugly and stuttering things out, and when she thought she might asphyxiate herself from her uneven breathing, Jin guided her through that too. He stayed until her crying had absolutely worn her out, taking her into a sleepy state. 

Jin redirected her now slumping, blanket covered body to lie on the mattress, “Alright Yong, it’s time for sleep. Good night.”

“G’night.” She managed to mumble out, barely registering him getting off of the bed and quietly leaving, her mind and body exhausted and taking her away from the stress of the day.