Chocolate
Four and Thirteen
In fact, most Hufflepuffs are of average intelligence; it’s only Seungcheol that is of less-than-average intelligence. Alas, poor Seungcheol drags their reputation down.
So Seokmin, as a Hufflepuff, is not stupid. In fact, he’s rather clever.
He can tell that Soonyoung likes him, first of all. How cute! Seokmin also likes Soonyoung, therefore the problem should be solved. They should be together, doing lots of PDA and grossing their friends out.
But nooooooo. Soonyoung has to be a stupidhead and ignore Seokmin’s obvious hints.
Yesterday, they met in the gardens at half past six, like they usually did.
“Isn’t the sunset beautiful?” Seokmin swooned, fluttering his eyelashes like an idiot.
Soonyoung knelt down and caressed the plush petals of a red rose. “Yeah. You know what else is beautiful?”
Seokmin giggled. “I don’t know, what?” Finally, the confession!
“...This rose. Like really, it’s red. Like Gryffindor. That’s super swag.”
Honestly, Soonyoung is about as perceptive as a burrito.
Currently, Seokmin and Soonyoung are walking around Honeydukes, looking around. Seokmin taps his companion on the shoulder.
“Soonyoungie, what are you going to get?”
“Hmm. I don’t know.” Soonyoung taps his chin thoughtfully. “Cockroach Clusters?”
“Oh, cool.” Seokmin suppresses a shiver. “I was actually thinking…”
“Yeah?”
“What do you want for Christmas?” Please say me. Please say me.
Soonyoung swirls around to face him, robes billowing charismatically. Seokmin nearly drools.
“You know what, Seokmin? All I want for Christmas is you…”
Seokmin flashes his shy smile and prepares for a kiss.
“...tube to be allowed in Hogwarts.”
Wait, what?
“What?” Seokmin says aloud, staring disbelievingly at his crush. Soonyoung nods eagerly.
“You heard me, right? All I want for Christmas is YouTube to be allowed in Hogwarts. Man, I miss using the internet at home. Watching K-Pop videos. I love 2NE1 so much. They’re so hot. Have you ever watched-”
“Soonyoung!” Seokmin is annoyed as all hell.
“Oh, sorry.” Soonyoung blinks. “What do you want for Christmas?”
“Well.” Seokmin clears his throat and readies his flirty expression. “All I want for Christmas is you.”
Silence.
“Haha, that’s cute.” Soonyoung pats him on the head. “Hey, have you ever heard of Park Bom? Wow, she is my queen. My wife. My senpai.”
I think I just got rejected.
Seokmin sighs and tries to keep up with Soonyoung. “Wow. She sure sounds cool.”
“Yep. But not as cool as…”
Seokmin waits for it.
“CL! I mean, Bom is suuuper beautiful in a different way, but CL just rocks that swag. You know?”
“Okay,” Seokmin says wearily. “Are you done choosing your treat?”
“I don’t know.” Soonyoung picks up a treat in each hand. “I mean, Chocolate Cauldrons are really awesome.”
“Okay. Let’s go pay.”
“Hey, you know what’s even sweeter than Chocolate Cauldrons?” Soonyoung sends him a toothy smile, and Seokmin lights up with hope.
“What?”
“Fudge Flies! Those things, oh man, they can sure give you a sugar rush.”
Maybe next time, Seokminnie. Maybe next time.
“Seungcheol was calling for you.”
“Don’t care,” Jihoon says shortly, kicking snow off of his heels. “Not my business. Not your business, either.”
“I know.” Junhui wipes off the snow that Jihoon had kicked onto his robes. “I’m just telling you. He seemed sort of dejected.”
“Okay.”
Junhui pushes his glasses further up his face and peers behind them. “Does he, perhaps, like you?”
“It’s not very smart to continue to push me,” Jihoon snaps. Beside them, Chan’s eyes widen. It’s considered one of the greatest insults to call a Ravenclaw stupid, and Jihoon knows it.
“I know,” Junhui says calmly. “I’m not trying to intrude.”
“Well, you’re failing.”
The three Ravenclaws walk farther and farther away, until the crowd thins out and the snow piles higher.
“I’m simply suggesting that you treat him a little better.”
Jihoon scowls darkly. “Why should I?”
“He’s only human, Jihoon.”
“God, you sound like a Hufflepuff. Piss off.”
“Oh, Jihoon.”
Jihoon is lucky that Junhui has a nearly nonexistent temper.
“Jihoon-hyung.” Chan tugs on his robes. “Don’t be impolite.”
“You brat, you can’t tell me what to do. Be quiet.”
“Jihoon, all I’m asking is for you to give him a chance.”
“Why should I?”
“Oh, you know Choi Seungcheol. Has the biggest heart in Hogwarts and all that.” Junhui smiles. “I suppose it would be rather cruel to break it. Right, Jihoon?”
“My mother tried to give me a conscience. As you can tell, she failed.” Jihoon stomps on a wilting sprig of surviving lavender. “Now, please, let’s talk about something else.”
“Hey, Seungcheol.” Jisoo looks around nervously at all of the empty chairs; vacated by students and occupied by strange-looking old men. “I think we should go.”
“No-oo,” Seungcheol whines, playing with Jisoo’s nails. “Don’t wanna.”
“Are you...” Jisoo squints at him judgingly. “Drunk?”
“No.” Seungcheol hiccups, then wails. “I’m ti-ired.”
“Follow me back to Hogwarts and you can have a nice long nap, yeah?”
“But mo-om!”
“No buts. C’mon, when we get back to Hogwarts I’ll give you all the candy canes I bought today.”
“All of ‘em?” Seungcheol perks up. “Even the shiny red ones?”
“Yes, even the shiny red ones. Let’s go, now.”
“Don’t wanna.” Seungcheol’s head, meet table. Table, Seungcheol’s head. “Wanna sleeeep.” And then he’s snoring. Dammit.
“Come on now, Seungcheol. We have to go back to Hogwarts.” Jisoo pulls on the sleeve of his friend’s robes, trying to bring him back to the land of the living.
Madam Rosmerta, who is wiping a glass clean, turns to peer skeptically at the two Hufflepuffs.
“I didn’t give him alcohol by accident, did I? What did he order? How old is he?”
“I hope not, Butterbeer, and sixteen. I think? Yes.”
“How many Butterbeers did he have?”
“Eight,” Jisoo says regretfully, wiping the drool off of Seungcheol’s face with a napkin.
“Ahh. Just tired, then.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry, we must be taking up space. We’ll go now.”
“It doesn’t matter, lad.” Madam Rosmerta puts down the glass and picks up another. “Can you carry him?”
“I hope.” Jisoo huffs out a short-lived sigh and tries to haul Seungcheol onto his back. Unfortunately, Jisoo is shorter and lighter, and his knees buckle as soon as Seungcheol’s sixty-six kilograms hit him.
Oh nooooooo.
Jisoo gathers himself and tries to straighten his wobbly legs, but to no avail; Seungcheol is dead weight on his back.
He takes a step.
And another.
Eventually, Jisoo manages to drag him out of the inn/pub, wincing as Seungcheol’s drool hits his shoulder.
“Eww, that’s gross. Seungcheol, wake up, ple-ease.”
Five steps forwards.
Many curious stares from various patrons.
Ten more.
Jisoo wheezes and nearly doubles over.
This is it. This is how I die. What will my tombstone say? ‘Died because Seungcheol is too dang fat’. Ooh, sorry, that’s really mean. Ahhhhh I can feel my spleen rupturing-
“Woah. Careful, there.” And suddenly all of the weight is gone and Jisoo is free to collapse. “Gosh, Seungcheol is so damn heavy. Jisoo, are you okay?”
Jisoo looks up blearily into Jeonghan’s eyes. Amusement is flickering in there, as well as- concern?
Jeonghan is concerned for him?
Woah. That’s so blush-inducing.
“Ahem.” Jisoo quickly stands up straight, eyes widening as he sees his boyfriend. Jeonghan has Seungcheol slung over one shoulder like a bag of potatoes, and is not breaking a sweat. It looks so effortless and cool that Jisoo nearly drools.
Then he realizes that Jeonghan had asked a question.
“Oh!” Jisoo blushes and hurries to straighten his robes out. “Yes. I’m fine. Thank you. For helping me, I mean.”
“No problem.” Jeonghan’s ponytail is lying casually over one shoulder, giving him the effortlessly rugged look of a lumberjack. Or something. Yeah, Jisoo’s not exactly good with words.
“Wait.” Jisoo blinks, then pouts. “Why’d you ditch me at the Three Broomsticks in the first place? You could have helped me carry him from the start!” Ah, yes, that was right! Jeonghan had left halfway through, muttering about a bathroom break, and had never come back.
“Ah.” Jeonghan laughs awkwardly. “Well, I’ll tell you about that later. Right now, we should head back.”
“Oh. Right.” Flustered, Jisoo dusts off his robes and hurries after them, blending into the crowd of Hogwarts students waiting to head back to the dorms.
“So, this is it.” Jeonghan turns to face Jisoo, Seungcheol’s head lolling around with him. “I hope you have Hufflepuff friends to help you carry him?”
“Y-yes.”
“Good.” With that, Jeonghan dumps Seungcheol unceremoniously onto the floor. -first
“Oh my gosh!” Jisoo squeaks as Seungcheol hits the ground with a solid smack.
“He’s fine.” Jeonghan rolls his eyes.
Seungcheol groans, rubbing his neck. “Wh-what? Even?”
“Anyways.” Jeonghan flashes an innocent smile at Jisoo. “The reason I left was to get you your Christmas present.”
“What?”
Jeonghan reaches into his robes and pulls out a ribbon-decked box of-
“Honeydukes’ Best Chocolate,” Jisoo reads aloud, eyes widening. “Oh, Jeonghan, thank you!”
“No problem.” Jeonghan gives him that half-smirk, then turns to leave, robes billowing out.
“W-wait!” Jisoo calls after him, brows furrowing in realization. “I never got you your Christmas present!”
“Oh, don’t worry.” Jeonghan winks at him over his shoulder. “You spending the entire day with me was the best present I got.”
Jisoo blushes and clutches the box of chocolate to his chest, watching Jeonghan disappear down the corridor.
“Oh, young love, how sweet,” Seungcheol sighs. “Hey, Jisoo, how many Butterbeers did I drink?”
“Eight. Why?”
“Um. I really need to go to the washroom.”
“Oh, Seungcheol.”
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