Seungcheol flails his hands around at the twelve students around him. They're laying in some grassy area on Hogwarts grounds, just reading/eating/annoying Jeonghan (last one applies only to Hansol).

Jihoon looks briefly up from his book. "What is... what?"

"A squad. Whatever." Seungcheol shakes his head. "It's like a group of friends that are super tight?"

Minghao, who's a Chinese transfer student and therefore is not familiar with the strange usage of the word 'tight', narrows his eyes in confusion. "Tight? Like... glue?"

"No. Tight as in close," Seungcheol explains, a ridiculously serious expression on his face. "I mean, we meet up every day under this weird tree."

"Well, we were here first," Jeonghan snaps. "Me and Jisoo. And then your stupid face showed up here."

"And then my little half-bro, Hansollie followed me!" Seungcheol continues, ignoring the insult. "And then his friends, Chan and Seungkwan."

"I came to keep an eye on Chan, and I regret it deeply," Jihoon grumbles.

"Then Jisoo had to be a nice person and bring along Seokmin and his stupid boyfriend Soonyoung," Jeonghan grouses.

"Then I invited Mingyu and Wonwoo!" Soonyoung pipes up.

"And Minghao and Junhui came from China and accidentally landed in the tree," Jisoo finishes serenely, petting Minghao's hair like the Hufflepuff he is.

"And now we hang out here, like, every day," Seungcheol says. "So, we're tight."

"Stop saying 'tight', oh my god," Jihoon groans.

"What about you stop saying 'oh my god', young man," Jisoo says sternly. Jihoon rolls his eyes and returns to his book.

"Anyways, if we're tight, then we're a squad!" Seungcheol exclaims, grinning at everyone sweetly. "And a squad needs to have a name."

"Why?"

"So that we can be identified. What about Fifteen? Thirteen members and one tree."

"You're kidding me." Jihoon slams his book shut, and everyone flinches.

"What?"

"Thirteen plus one is fourteen, you ! It's basic arithmetic! And why would you even include the tree? That's so fu-"

"Lee Jihoon!" Jisoo snaps. "Your behaviour is absolutely terrible today!"

"Sorry, mom." Jihoon rolls his eyes and opens his textbook again.

"Don't speak to him in that tone of voice!" Jeonghan hisses.

"Sorry, dad."

"Hey, I'm the dad!" Seungcheol shouts indignantly. "Anyways, fine. What about Seventeen?"

Silence.

"Why?"

"Four Hogwarts houses, thirteen friends. Seventeen, obviously."

"Seungcheol, you're actually really dumb," Jihoon snorts, flipping to another page in his textbook. "Remember when you said that squids have eight arms?"

"Well, excuse me, Mister Ravenclaw," Seungcheol whines, "I think it's a very good name for our squad! Coincidentally, a group of squids is called a squad."

"No, it's called a shoal," Jihoon corrects. "Also, please do not use 'squad' in that context ever again."

"It's what the muggle kids are doing now. They say 'this is my squad' and 'turn down for what?' and 'my eyebrows are on fleek'."

Silence.

"Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have let you take Muggle Studies."

"I learned a lot in that class. I'm smart now," Seungcheol says proudly.

Silence.

"Wait, squids don't have eight arms?"

"Chan, restrain me before I kill this loser."