Author's note: I really wanted to post this on Christmas day to feel the Christmas presence lol but then again, I'd done this oneshot too early, so maybe releasing it earlier would be great, isn't? I tried my best to have a good output, and this was all came out from my effort. I'm sorry for not updating the rest of my fic, author's block came in all the way hahah. Anyways, thank you for waiting annnddd HAPPY EARLY MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!! Spread the love! Hope you'll enjoy!

 

It was winter. Cold breeze could be felt but this is not a hindrance for everyone’s warm happiness.  Loud cheers and laughter can only be heard while others were singing some Christmas songs to feel this Christmas Eve. Yes it was Christmas eve, everyone was waiting for 12 midnight celebrating it with their families and friends. Loads of presents were underneath the Christmas trees, parents were giving toys and valuable things to their children and some are giving their precious time as to spend their joyous celebration this Christmas. 

 

It was great, a great and unforgettable night to spend it with your loved ones. To think that Christmas is a day of forgiveness and love, no one can ever ruin or break the meaning of the meaningful presence, 25^th of December brings.

 

But it was different with Jiyeon, she has this small hatred to herself about not even knowing something she wanted. She was on a sofa reading novels, which Soyeon, her friend, recommended her to read and even told she might change her mind set for now. She doesn’t like the idea from hers, but she did read it all anyway. Jiyeon couldn’t even believe all the stories from the book, it seems so unreal for her. Reality is reality, and that ‘reality’ makes her more sad because she should have celebrate this eve with her dorky friends but she chose not to cause of one particular reason.

 

Jiyeon is the only member in her group of friends who doesn’t have a partner – she’s not interested to find one for her though. And she wasn’t sure if she needed or wanted one to be by her side this Christmas.

 

It seems fine, a thought for herself. Reading all alone and celebrate her Christmas Eve here at her place is better than being with her friends having those lovey-dovey moments while she could only witness and might get jealous to them. Jiyeon sigh, what else does she want to do? She glanced at the fireplace which she haven’t used for a long time. She’s lazy to burn some woods and use it as to heat her place, she would usually just cover her body with one of her heater-blanket and she finds it more comfortable.

 

Jiyeon checked the time, it’s almost 12 midnight. She wanted to stand up and have some hot choco and a slice of pizza, but she end up buried herself again on the couch and thought of Soyeon’s words.

 

“Remember you can’t date yourself, go and find your other half!”

 

She scoffs, gotten feeling irritated for that sentence.

 

“So childish, ‘find your other half’ my !” Jiyeon moved her body on the left side, holding a book she don’t have the courage to continue reading.

 

Jiyeon paused for a while and glance at the clock again, she really wanted to celebrate this eve with her friends but the other would probably just wanted to have an ‘unforgettable moment’ to each other and that what makes her felt the terrible burden feeling. She herself knows that and she doesn’t want to ruin it.

 

Five more minutes and Christmas day will happen after. But Jiyeon were done for everything so she had just decided to just read all these novels to kill her boredom.

 

But it was not until she could hear the banging sound came from above – she got startled for a while and got herself looking at her fireplace, a meter away from her position, filled with someone, on top of a red sack. She got startled again when the being with red-Santa-outfit but is very much different from Santa since its y and tight, came out from the fireplace and patted its back from the force she had recently with her frown yet cute expression.

 

Jiyeon couldn’t say anything, she don’t want to say anything but her curiosity carried her away and asked one question very quickly.

 

“Who are you?!” Jiyeon was on her sitting position, embracing herself for protection.

 

That being must be dangerous!

 

“Woah!”  the other got startled hearing Jiyeon’s question, shouting, “Who are you?!” and asked back.

 

Jiyeon could only widen her eyes, it sounds like she was trying to reverse the scenario and ask who she is when it was her right to say so. She gulped, and she felt a little relief when she figured out it was a girl.

 

“Are you a thief?” Jiyeon asked again,

 

The girl with red outfit sigh, whining as she complains something Jiyeon couldn’t understand.

 

“What are you doing here? Are you a kidnapper? Are you here to kidnap me? Who told you to?” Jiyeon could only ask questions rapidly, she really needed an answer from this mysterious girl.

 

“Who are you?” again, she asked the same question.

 

The girl took a deep breath, fixing her Christmas hat and took herself too to relax,

 

 “Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!” she shouted and continues,

 

“I’m Santa,” the girl proclaimed herself, “and I’m here to give these presents.”

 

Jiyeon could only watch her from head to toe; as if she was scanning something to clarify if her words were true or not. Last time she had remembered, Santa is a man. Santa has white long beard and a big tummy, Santa has sleigh with his reindeers. This is not the Santa she had pictured out in her mind. The girl in front of her is not Santa, then who is she?

 

“You are Santa?”

 

“Yes, I clearly said that.” the girl, I mean the Santa turn her back and went to grab her red sack filled with Christmas gifts.

 

Jiyeon on the other hand, observed her. She wanted to kick this girl away from her house but she looks innocent. And she’s not doing things any form of danger though.

 

“To clarify something, I’m not a thief or a kidnapper. Or whatever you think I might be,” the y Santa successfully pulled the heavy red sack, she was honestly struggling,

 

“Ah this is hard!” y Santa complaint, “I wanted this job but I never thought this could be something hard.” then pouted.

 

Jiyeon was in silence, she doesn’t want to say something and just stare at this Santa who she finds really annoying.

 

“You can just leave all those presents in front of the door; you don’t have to go through down the chimney.” Jiyeon convey, as if concern.

 

“If I’ll do that then I might get caught,”

 

Jiyeon furrowed her brows, indicating something.

 

“Yeah I know what you’re thinking. I was just doing my job.”

 

The y Santa came and faces Jiyeon, now with a long lists of names on her hand searching something,

 

“Park Jiyeon is your name right?”

 

“Who are you really?” Jiyeon couldn’t still believe this girl who proclaimed herself as Santa, so she really wanted to make sure about it, “and why are you here?”

 

The Santa makes a very deep sigh – she can’t blame her for being skeptical, everyone thinks the same way though.

 

“Okay,” she wanted to start and introduce herself again, “I’m Santa – temporarily.”

 

“Temporarily?”

 

“The Santa you were looking for or the real one was sick, so he had to leave and entrusted his job on me.”

 

Jiyeon has this question mark on her, still processing everything. I mean, it’s unbelievable. Do these things really exist and is Santa really sick?

 

Is this y Santa in front of her, deserve everyone’s trust or?

 

“I’m hungry and thirsty, can you feed me?” the Santa pouted, pleasing all of a sudden.

 

Santa’s job was to deliver all those gifts right? Jiyeon could only sigh in disbelief – would a Santa ask such thing?

 

The Santa in front had her eyes blink trice, trying to look cute as she begs for Jiyeon for meal, or a glass of water is enough. The Santa was exhausted and tired, who wouldn’t be by carrying heavy gifts the real Santa prepared and deliver it to thousands of names on the list with her. She wanted to rest too, just for a while.

 

And Jiyeon could only offer her some, she was innocent, she said that right? And the y Santa in front has a pleasant personality and a very pretty one. Oops, did she just say pretty? Well she can only admit, since this Santa is very attractive and lovely.

 

“I can only offer you pizza.” Jiyeon stated in a more calming way.

 

And she went to her kitchen as the Santa follows, handed her the food she offered.

 

“Thank you.” the Santa smiled, almost blushing, made the other felt those hypnotizing trademark with her eye smile.

 

“Anyway, what’s your Christmas wish?” the Santa, who seem to be really hungry asked mumbling.

 

“Eh?” Jiyeon who was a one meter away from Santa, went and sat on her one of those warm wooden chair, “my Christmas wish?”

 

The Santa nodded, still savoring the slice of pizza.

 

“Gadgets, great things or whatever you want. I’ll grant those.” the Santa reassure.

 

Jiyeon looked down; she doesn’t need anything, anything that Santa can give. She wasn’t sure if she had a wish though, or that she wanted to spend her Christmas Eve with her friends. But hey, she had thought a while ago that being alone is fine right? So basically she doesn’t want anything from her friends or even from this so called Santa.

 

“I don’t have one.” Jiyeon, still her eyes fixed on the table, sigh.

 

“Why?” now the Santa set her attention to the other, “you’ve been good this year! You must have a wish. I mean all people do.”

 

The other showed a poker face onto the y Santa, who’s now done eating the slice of pizza Jiyeon offered.

 

“Don’t generalize. Some people don’t need things,” the girl stood up, “and if you’re done, please go out for you have more business to do.”

 

“If you do have.” Jiyeon ended her sentence and went to her couch, laying her body again.

 

Her words made Santa’s head tilt; it’s not like, she came here just to hear her saying she don’t need one. The Santa didn’t say anything, although she wanted to pipe in but at some point the girl was right. Not all people needed things – then what exactly does this Park Jiyeon want?

 

The y Santa observed the girl’s house – it was quiet and warm. The Santa had finally realize, that the girl she was talking to recently, was all alone in her house. Was she?

 

“You’re all alone?” the Santa finally let out a word, “in this Christmas day?”

 

Jiyeon heave a very deep sigh. Not wanting to reply but her urge to drag this Santa away from her house carried her.

 

“Aish! Just…just leave me alone, will you?” Jiyeon almost growl, looked onto the Santa, who’s gulping the pizza.

 

The Santa again continues observing, the girl didn’t stand up though. And as a part of her duty, she needed to make this girl happy for this Christmas, not just needed, the y Santa wanted to see this girl to at least smile.

 

The y Santa tip toed, as she noticed the other close her eyes and decided just to sleep maybe. The other was lying on the couch, with few books above her head. The girl with Santa outfit went closer to the other and smiled as she was having this great idea, it could annoy her but she is sure this is the only way to persuade this girl.

 

The Santa, played her small hand bell, made the other open her eyes and quickly rises from her current position.

 

“What?!” she furrowed her brows; the Santa knows she got so irritated. And she might kick out from this place in no time.

 

“If you don’t want to tell me your Christmas wish, then I’m afraid to say, I won’t leave here.” the Santa had this challenging look, still smiling at the girl in front.

 

“Are you deaf? I said I don’t have one!”

 

“Then please do smile. You’re not supposed to have that frown and irritated expression, well, even though I know why.” the Santa, still with her big hope standing.

 

Jiyeon couldn’t believe this is happening to her. All she wants is to be alone, and have a peaceful Christmas day with herself but she can’t really tell if this Santa ruined it. Jiyeon knew she wanted to celebrate and be with someone this day, but not with this unknown proclaimed Santa.

 

“How do you expect me to smile looking at you here?” Jiyeon stated, still have this annoyed facial of hers.

 

“I can make you smile!” the Santa said, proudly, “and I will make you smile.”

 

“How sure you are?”

 

“Smile then I’ll leave.”

 

Jiyeon, with her head lifted, looking at this Santa, processing something on her head. Did she just say ‘leave’? Well if she says so Jiyeon will probably force herself to smile just to get rid of this annoying Santa.

 

The girl smiled, exposing her white teeth. A forced smile, or shall I say an unhappy toothy smile.

 

“Happy now? You can leave.” Jiyeon said after.

 

“Not that one.” the Santa shook her head unsatisfied, “give me a real smile one!”

 

“Arrgh!” Jiyeon rolled her eyes. She feels like she got tortured.

 

The Santa step backward, still with her smile. Jiyeon look at her confused, what does she really want from her?

 

Jiyeon looked away, she keeps on sighing since the other still didn’t leave her here alone and just let her be. She was thinking of things for this Santa to leave, but her mind won’t just cooperate. She’s dumb, she admitted that.

 

Later she had notice the other started to play her small hand bell again, and now lyrics can be heard from the y Santa’s mouth. Jiyeon set her attention to her, and again, she furrowed her brows witnessing the Santa was actually having a small show in front of her while singing a song she’s familiar with. Well she knows this song so much, and that she can’t help but feel lonely hearing the lyrics from her.

 

♫ Give me your heart for Christmas

Wrap it with joy and cheer

Let every beat sing to repeat

Our love will last each moment of the year ♫
 

Jiyeon could only listen to the Santa. She didn’t expect this Santa can sing, and that her voice were so soothing that she wanted to close her eyes and feel the presence of Christmas. But she can’t.

 

And so the Santa continues,

 

♫Just...give me your heart for Christmas

Only your love will do

And with each sigh you'll know that I

Have given you my heart for Christmas, too♫
 

 

Knowing she would usually spent this day with her friends and family, her heart now starts to clench on its own. To think her parents can’t celebrate this Christmas with her since they were working abroad and would only come home every 2 years or very occasionally. This Christmas won’t be boring if her friends just let her be with them, but irritatingly, they would only say she needed to find her true love or sort of things she doesn’t want to hear.

 

Unexpectedly, while she listens to this Santa continuing the song, her lip slowly starts to curve, resulting her to smile.

 

“I saw that!” the Santa notice, “I always knew people will smile hearing me singing.” then giggles.

 

Jiyeon once again laid her body on the couch, completely ignoring the Santa. She did smile, and she’s sure this Santa would leave, or if she’s trolling her then she’s going to give all her strength to kick this Santa away from her.

 

Now that she closed her eyes, Jiyeon just wanted to rest and forget what had happened. Maybe she’s just dreaming, but who can tell?

 

“Hey,” the Santa called, “thank you for the food.”

 

Jiyeon could slightly feel the soft touch of the Santa to hers. y Santa tapped Jiyeon’s head, and the girl finds it really cute.

 

“But don’t forget that I’ll be back, you didn’t tell me your Christmas wish yet.”

 

Hearing such words from Santa, Jiyeon opened her eyes quickly after but no longer y Santa could be seen from her sight. She turned her head side to side, as if looking for her, but to her disappointment she couldn’t find the y Santa anymore. Not wanting to do anything, she lazily laid her body on the couch again, and to her surprise, she had now realized the luminous numbers from her clock – it was already 8 in the morning and she didn’t even realize that.

 

“Was that a dream?” she asked to herself, still not believing it.

 

Jiyeon laughed. How weird could that dream be?

 

The girl yawned after stretching her body for a long while. The growl from her stomach made her get up as so to make a breakfast for her own. The latter stopped her steps forward as she noticed something on one of the books attached on to it – it was a small sticky green note with a cute smiley drawing at the end of the message.

 

Merry Christmas!

Please be happy today.

Love, y Santa

 

Jiyeon blinked her eyes trice. She then glances at the kitchen which was adjacent to her current position, and there she saw small plate and an empty glass on the table – which was, the y Santa used as she was eating.

“So it wasn’t a dream?”

 

~~~

 

“So you want us to believe you that you saw a ‘y Santa’ came in into your house and even sang a song?”

 

Soyeon’s loud and annoying words came straight to her hearing after telling them what had really happened on the Christmas Eve. She even emphasized the words y and Santa as if asking again if Jiyeon was okay or she’s thinking weird things since she was all alone. Soyeon together with her friends felt guilty towards their lone friend yesterday, from not inviting her to join last night’s party, but they themselves knew Jiyeon would only utter bitter things towards relationships. So Soyeon, in behalf of their most friends, told her to find her own so she would feel the same feeling they get. And maybe will change her thought for a while.

 

“You guys don’t believe me?” Jiyeon frowned.

 

“Well uh, it’s not like that.” Eunjung reassured, “It’s just hard to believe.”

 

Jiyeon could only heave a very heavy sigh in front of them. She feels like she had just wasted her time telling them about what had actually happened. One thing she hates the most was she was sure her friends’ thinks she’s making up stories to catch their attention or just literally being crazy. That was so rude of them for Jiyeon, if she could only cry, the latter will probably do it at the corner of her room dramatically.

 

“I never heard Santa being y though – “, the shorter express her opinion, “I mean we all know Santa is fat.”

 

“Boram stop.” Qri pipe in.

 

The silent friend amongst them gave Boram a warning look. She was observing Jiyeon all the time, and to think she was all lonely last night, she can’t let her grow some resentment towards them just because of this. But seeing Jiyeon explaining things by detailed, Qri somehow thinks she can believe her.

 

But she’s not sure about it.

 

“Anyways, I left a gift in your house. And don’t tell me you didn’t open it.” Soyeon, crossing her arms staring at this Jiyeon who wouldn’t look at her back.

 

“Yeah I did. Thanks for the ‘pink’ coat, I really appreciate it.” Jiyeon pouted, making the others burst to laughter.

 

“Hey, I spent so much effort finding a really good quality coat just for you! Don’t give me that tone.”

 

“Duh!” Jiyeon rolled her eyes. She hates it when everyone pesters her.

 

She didn’t really liked pink stuff. Ever.

 

So Jiyeon had spent her Christmas day with her friends – but she’s not happy about it. Who would be happy about them not believing her and that again, things just gets worst whenever she caught the two pairs had those sweet eye contacts and smiles that she don’t want to see. Jiyeon thinks she’s being too much bitter, but she has a reason about it.

 

And that reason was left unknown. Jiyeon had tried so hard to figure that out but now with frustrations, she can’t.

 

What does she really wanted in her life? So she could be happy like others too?

 

~~~

Jiyeon was all alone in this Christmas night. She went home early from their bonding with her friends since she can’t take all those ‘teasing’ she gets from them. The latter just wanted to forget everything she hated, and that she’s now on the same couch again, drinking a bottle of wine serving her own.

 

Oh! There are a few bottles of soju on the table before she took the wine though. Jiyeon doesn’t really want loneliness to dominate her, but it just happens. And that she wishes that didn’t happened, anyway she can’t do anything about being alone and somehow she’s enjoying it. She kept on saying she enjoys it but deep inside she’s crying like an infant wanting some milk from their mother.

 

And that what makes her feel miserable. She could only sigh and be happy alone.

 

On the other hand, the girl didn’t notice the read from the clock – it was already 12 midnight and it’s time for Santa to go through the chimney again and meet this lonely Jiyeon she had a conversation with last Christmas Eve. The y Santa didn’t really forget what she had wrote in that piece of small note, and that she has this urge to let this girl be happy and kind of wanting to know her Christmas wish.

 

But the Santa furrowed when she looked at the girl. Jiyeon seems so hopeless drinking alone in her house again without even accompany. So the Santa crossed her arms and pouted as she still witness Jiyeon’s miserable look while still trying to drink the last drop of wine.

 

And then the Santa came closer to her since she can’t take seeing her being like that.

 

“Hey!” Jiyeon lifted her face, got intrude her attention since the Santa snatch the glass of wine away from her.

 

“You’re here again?!” then she complaint with her drunk tone.

 

“I told you I’ll be back.” the Santa showed a warm smile.

 

Jiyeon lean her back against the couch, giving y Santa a very drunk look. And for a sudden, she has no more strength to kick this Santa away or just even telling her to leave. The drunken girl just let her be, as she was looking at the Christmas lights that were on the ceiling and most likely trying to enjoy herself for a bit.

 

“So have you decided your wish yet?” the y Santa, with her intention, still waiting for this girl to utter her wish.

 

“I don’t have…” then hiccupped happened after causing her for pausing her sentence, “I don’t have…one”

 

“Hek!”

 

The Santa was still there standing in front, she kept telling herself to not give up. Jiyeon was the reason why she came here back, since the latter won’t say anything she wants. This make Santa confuse – if she doesn’t want anything, then why is Jiyeon acting like she needed ‘something’ that she don’t want to tell? It does feel like she’s afraid and that she doesn’t know why.

 

Why?

 

Jiyeon lifted up her face again from bowing it for a while. Her warm cheeks can tell she’s really drunk tonight and that she needed someone to accompany her and to get listened to all her rants about her life. Jiyeon didn’t really regret about what she got, and what she is or everything. There’s just this little tiny piece in her heart that craves for something, and that lead her to feel emptiness.

 

The drunken girl smiled; hold the Santa’s arms as she wanted to say something. But before that, Jiyeon tries herself to stand up normally, like she wasn’t drunk at all.

 

“Does Santa’s happiness is by giving people presents?” she asked, pouting, “Santa knows what people wants right? He even had all the list of names with its wishes on it, how come he doesn’t know mine?” then complains cutely.

 

The Santa could only listen, as she finds this as an opportunity to ask this girl again.

 

“Or how come you don’t know? You’re Santa too right?” then her hiccups covered her words.

 

“I don’t know what your wish is. That’s why I’m asking.”

 

“Argh! Whatever!”

 

Jiyeon then snatch the Santa’s Christmas hat, took it on and went back to bury herself on the couch again. Right feeling their conversation won’t end up to a comfortable one, Jiyeon will just sleep and ignore this y Santa again in front like she did before. That sure will make her better, will she even get better?

 

“Hey!” Santa called, “Santa didn’t know because you never asked…”

 

“Then why are you asking me?”

 

The Santa put a small smile on her facial, looking at Jiyeon mumbling still her eyes were close. There’s no point to ask her the same question again and again when she’s drunk, and in no time Jiyeon will fell asleep afterwards. She then went closer to the other as to grab her Christmas hat back and maybe just go back to where she belongs and wait for the right time. But to her surprise, Jiyeon moved a bit as she quickly opened her eyes, half-asleep.

 

“Can Santa give happiness?” the drunken girl asked without even thinking, “Santa can give one right? Can you..?”

 

Still her eyes are on the girl, the Santa felt sorry for not giving anything Jiyeon might want. With her mind went to a sudden blank, the Santa snap to reality and not expecting to only think about this girl in front of her, almost crying.

 

And that now she looked at those half-opened eyes, the Santa widened hers as she felt her blushing cheeks when the other lean closer and planted a soft sudden kiss.

 

Yeah, Jiyeon had just kissed the y Santa on the lips.

 

And she doesn’t know whether she knows what she’s doing or not.

 

~~~

 

It was almost half past 9 in the morning. The iPhone keeps on ringing on the green floor mat, near the couch where the owner was laying not knowing it fell off.  The owner grunted, got annoyed with the ringtone since she does want to have more sleep and her head was aching that Jiyeon felt like it’s going to burst soon.  She tried to reach her phone, didn’t really intended to press the answer button but she technically pressed it anyway.

 

“Yah! Park Jiyeon!” a loud angry voice came into her hearing, made her pull the phone away.

 

“What?!”

 

“What time is it now?!” the caller asked, though she didn’t check who called but she’s hundred percent sure it was Soyeon.

 

Jiyeon checked the time, and right after she let out a very hopeless sigh. She had just remembered they planned to go to Qri’s place to enjoy some party and obviously she’s very late today. With this situation, Jiyeon can now picture out the cutie pretty’s expression whenever she would appear in front of her sight. They had clearly decided to never be late, to think she’s the one who said it herself and so it made her gulp terribly. She doesn’t want Soyeon to pester her again and more importantly she doesn’t want Qri to give her that deadly look, completely judging her.

 

“Alright I’m sorry..” Jiyeon replied with a calm tone, “I was ridiculously drunk last night and got hang over.”

 

“Don’t give me that excuse and come here quickly!”

 

And after the last words were spoken, Soyeon ended the call.

 

“Argh! My head hurts so much!” complaining, Jiyeon decided to go seek medicine on her own.

 

Jiyeon went to her kitchen to have some glass of water. She didn’t even mind the time as long as she can cure this ache on her. A thought from her mind made her feel at ease – at least she will come, its better be late than never.

 

A thing on her table got her attention. There’s this one container on it, one capsule of medicine with bottled water beside on it. Jiyeon wondered, she doesn’t think she had ever prepared this last night and that she can’t even remember any. Or that she was sure she won’t and that she thinks she did?

 

To answer all her questions filled in her mind, Jiyeon came closer and saw the same small sticky green note on the table, the same smiley was on it after the message.

 

Please drink this up!

It’ll help with your hang over

Love, y Santa

 

Her furrowed brows and a confuse look was shown on her facial – why did the Santa knew she was drunk? Did she happened to visit her again last night or?

 

Jiyeon gasp with the thought on her mind. That she had exactly remembered what had happened last night..

 

“Oh no!” Jiyeon widened her eyes, still not believing she can do it, “am I crazy? Why did I do such thing?!”

 

Jiyeon was in disbelief, she kept on remembering that scenario and kept on denying it happened but it actually just happened. She was out of her mind that time and to think she’s drunk was a valid reason. It has no meaning – everything she had said to that Santa or whatever, there’s no meaning behind on it. All she did that night was because she’s drunk and that got carried away from her empty feeling inside.

 

Empty feeling inside… Yeah she had thought of that too. And it makes her feel down for remembering why she was so pathetic last night and drown herself with alcoholic drinks.

 

Poor young woman.

               

~~~

 

A year has passed. Jiyeon was still the same, and all the relationships with her friends got stronger she thought it will be. Since nothing had changed, Jiyeon is still going to celebrate her Christmas Eve alone though her friends asked her to join them this evening but she refused to. Jiyeon has this feeling to explain what had happened that night – that night when she thought everything was a dream and that she needed to clarify it to the y Santa she had seen and talk to last year’s Christmas Eve and Christmas day.

 

It wasn’t her intention to think about it though, but since she’s kinda guilty on it, she thought of taking some explanations and that Santa might not mind about it anymore. But, there’s this one question that she’s not sure whether she can answer it or not – that Santa might not come back anymore; and that she thinks at first that it was all just a dream but felt like for real. It was for real, she felt it herself. And it really is, she had seen it with her own eyes though her friends won’t believe her at all.

 

The time passes so fast, that for Jiyeon it was so slow to wait. She was on the same couch again, waiting for the y Santa to come down through the chimney. And again, reading some novels she had bought to a bookstore nearby that she didn’t even planned or wanted to. Although all the words from the book she had read didn’t really came in straight to her understanding, she keeps forcing herself to just read them all till the last page as to kill some time.

 

Jiyeon check the time, it was already 11 in the evening. Her eye sight came back to the book again, and kept on glancing on the clock.

 

“Damn.” she bit her lip, she feels weird waiting for something she don’t know may come.

 

Everytime Jiyeon give a glimpse on the time again, she feels like she had just abandoned time for like milliseconds.

 

5 more minutes left..

 

4 minutes left..

 

3..

 

2..

 

1..

 

And there, 12 midnight comes! But somehow the y Santa wasn’t in her fireplace. She should have been there but no, she wasn’t. She waited for another 5 minutes but to her dismay, she didn’t arrive. Jiyeon, still on the couch, could have just sat there lazily, hopeless. If the Santa can just appear right in front of her then this day won’t be boring. If that being could have just came and annoyed her by asking what her wish is, then she might consider it as an entertainment since she’s alone here and with no one.

 

If that Santa could just sing her a song, then she might smile again like what she did last year. Without knowing, she could have one little argument with that proclaimed Santa but in a fun way.

 

Santa should be in Jiyeon’s house, she keeps thinking about it. Though she doesn’t have a wish this time, but she wanted to see the Santa… Wait… See the Santa?

 

“What am I even thinking?” Jiyeon pouted, burying her face on one of the small pillows on the couch.

 

“It was a year ago, she must have forgotten about it..” she murmurs.

 

Jiyeon turned her body as to face the ceiling. She can clearly hear those cheers and laughter from her neighbors – and by that, she felt this lone heart of hers made her feel empty again. She pouted before closing her eyes and just decided to sleep. Jiyeon took a Christmas break from her work and she don’t even feel like going out tomorrow, she might just want to bury herself underneath her comfy blanket all day. Jiyeon don’t have plans, enjoy herself outside or even just to watch new movies from cinemas. She wants to be alone but it feels like she wanted something more.

 

I think something lonelier?

 

“Hey..”

 

The girl was about to travel to her dreamland – but a soft touch from someone made her stop doing so.  Jiyeon slowly opened her eyes caused by the touch and quickly rises from the couch as she can see a smiling Santa in front of her sight. She blinked her eyes trice, trying to make sure she wasn’t dreaming at all. The Santa in front, though raising her brows, but in the end gave Jiyeon a warming smile.

 

“You’re here?” Jiyeon asked, still not believing.

 

“Yeah, I’m here again.”

 

Jiyeon sat properly – her eyes fixed onto the y Santa who won’t stop smiling at her. The Santa didn’t changed at all, as she thought she would. Jiyeon thought the real Santa will come but she’s wrong. The Santa’s stares were still lovable too, and that her trademark attracts her still so much. There’s just one little thing that changed about her, it was the color of the Santa’s hair. Last year it was colored chestnut brown but now, Jiyeon thinks she dyed her hair to color black – and that is something seductive to see since the Santa got look ier with that hair color.

 

Jiyeon gulped realizing she got hypnotize by the y Santa’s beauty.

 

“Uhm..H-hi!” she waved her hand a bit, awkwardly smiling at the Santa.

 

“You sound different?”

 

“Me?” Jiyeon, pointing herself, confused,

 

“I mean I used to get push away by the Jiyeon I knew last Christmas Eve…” the Santa looked down.

 

“Ooh..” Jiyeon nodded. She was surely being rude to this Santa before, “Wait, did you just said you’re Santa ‘temporarily’?” and to reassure something, she asked.

 

The Santa sat beside her, and Jiyeon had realized she didn’t bring her red sack filled with presents. The y being took off her Christmas hat, and went to see Jiyeon waiting for her answer as she have those lovely look. Well, the Santa really admired this being’s beauty.

 

“Well, Santa still insists to finish my job I left last year.” the Santa answered with a charming tone, “he’s outside with his sleigh delivering gifts.” and added.

 

“Are you here to ask me what my wish is again?”

 

Jiyeon gave the Santa a very lonely look. The Santa could only smile and nod since it’s her only intention why she’s here with her. She observed the girl beside her, and her instincts were telling her to just wait a little bit since she thinks this girl will utter her wish in no time. Jiyeon’s expression wasn’t different from the past the Santa had witnessed, but she was sure enough that this girl was feeling something uncomfortable that lead her to feel lonely or something.

 

“To clarify something, I know it’s been a year but…” Jiyeon started, “but the thing I said before, or whatever I did to you, I am sorry for that.”

 

The Santa lifted her head, remembering that scenario.

 

“Oh don’t mind.” the Santa smiled, as to make Jiyeon feel at ease.

 

And after a couple of seconds of silence, finally Jiyeon decided to broke the awkward atmosphere.

 

“The thing is…” Jiyeon started again and lifted up her face to the Santa beside.

 

The Santa raised her brows, indicating some anticipation from her. Jiyeon looked down again, as if she doesn’t have the courage to say what she really wanted this Christmas.

 

“Come on tell me.” the Santa cheered her up.

 

Jiyeon side-eyeing her eyes to Santa, playing her fingers uncomfortably. She’s somehow feeling the nervousness slowly dominating her, and she doesn’t even have an idea on why.

 

“The thing is…” she gulped, suddenly got dry, and took a moment to clear “I don’t need a thing or anything from Santa.”

 

“I don’t need those gifts Santa had prepared or anything that would have a cost.”

 

“I just want to be happy with someone..”

 

“Like my friends do..” after realizing she did confess her heart out to the Santa, Jiyeon mentally slapped herself by telling her that. She just does want to keep it to everyone, because she’ll sound pathetic afterwards.

 

Jiyeon was biting her lip. Now it’s getting awkward for her to be with Santa saying those words. The Santa sighs and smiled again, tapped Jiyeon’s warm hands as to get her attention.

 

“I do understand you.” the Santa softly touches Jiyeon’s hand as to say everything is going to be alright, “but…”

 

The Santa doesn’t want to say anything or the truth. She knows if she says so, Jiyeon will not be happy about it. Christmas presence is not just about the presents but it’s about love and forgiveness. Jiyeon doesn’t want those gifts, and the Santa understands it.

 

“Santa can’t grant that kind of wish right?” Jiyeon, on behalf of the Santa, stated the obvious truth.

 

Realizing the Santa didn’t answer, Jiyeon just then decided to just sleep and tell her to leave her alone. She’s not being rude towards her this time; reality just hurt her so much. That she can no more feel the warm in her place – and especially that warm she really wanted the most.

 

Jiyeon laid her body on the couch made the Santa stood up. The Santa sighs again for the second time, not knowing what to do. She should be happy about accomplishing about this girl’s wish to get revealed, but she’s not. It’s true, Santa can only give things Jiyeon doesn’t want.

 

“So better go and ask children’s wishes instead. I’m not kid anymore.”

 

The Santa, with some guilt grown on her, couldn’t say anything.

 

It was almost ten minutes before the Santa decided to just leave. There’s no point about being here watching this girl’s expression embracing loneliness. She wanted to do something but she can’t. Her duty now was over, and the time is almost over. Now, the only Santa can do is to leave. There’s nothing else she can do.

 

But Jiyeon hold the Santa’s hand before she turned her body to the fireplace position – the Santa quickly set her attention to the girl, really curious on what she’s going to say or something.

 

“You’re not going to come back…right?” Jiyeon still her eyes closed asked.

 

Santa first fixed her eyes onto the girl before letting out a ‘yes’ to her. And that made Jiyeon open her eyes as to say a thing,

 

“Can you stay for a while?” Jiyeon requested, “Can you sing me a song before you leave?”

 

The Santa felt her heart rip its own seeing this girl and the way she begs. Well, maybe she can do as she says so, as to make her feel better at least?

 

“Can you?”

 

Feeling the warm Jiyeon has, Santa can only say yes and nodded twice since she wanted to do it so. The Santa came closer to the girl and sat beside her again as she thinks of a song to sing. There are tons of great songs for Christmas, and so she asks Jiyeon to what she wanted to hear from her.

 

“The one you sang that night, I wanna hear it again.”

 

And so the Santa starts to sing after Jiyeon says so. Santa wishes this girl will smile for real this time.

And that night, Jiyeon went to sleep after being with the y Santa for the last time.

 

It was Christmas day and Jiyeon had just woken up from her long sleep. Yeah it’s 25^th of December but this girl won’t even think of things to do she might enjoy with. Maybe playing games will do or just go out with her friends today as to have some party. But Jiyeon knew she doesn’t want those, she wanted to stay all day sleeping just to kill time but we all know she couldn’t because of one particular feeling.

 

Her heart wants to be happy and she didn’t even do anything to be.

 

Finally after almost spending 5 hours without doing anything, Jiyeon thought maybe going out alone will be great. She knew she will see people’s smiles out there and she knew she’ll torture herself seeing people’s happy expression that she herself doesn’t have. But oh well, there are tons of things she’s willing to do without someone else – she can go and enjoy herself skating, eat fancy foods at a great restaurant and maybe grab some new released video games so she can play all along in her house alone.

 

She can also enjoy riding ferris wheel or go and ride deadly roller coaster although she knows she’s afraid on those. Jiyeon can also have ice cream in winter, Jiyeon with her friends once did it last time and they sound so crazy complaining its cold, they were such dumb idiots back then.

 

Jiyeon somehow felt happy seeing those kids playing with their families – making some snowman and throws ice balls to everyone. Watching at them receiving gifts and so, Jiyeon smiled looking at them smiling warmly. If she can’t be happy this Christmas, at least someone else is. She’s happy that to think there’s no more person like her who feels the emptiness(or she’s not sure), but she’s asking too if there are some people like hers, avoiding all she wants that could make her happy.

 

Anyway Jiyeon throw those thoughts away. She wants to enjoy this day by herself, thinking about those things will make her not to.

 

And so she went and continues walking, going to a place Soyeon told her to try to. As she passes by with so many smiling people, not just seeing those Christmas lights shines so bright that amazed her so much, she can also hear cheerful jingles and happy Christmas songs everywhere. All the things she had seen and heard, how colorful and amazing they could be as to represent this day.

 

Jiyeon went to a bookstore again and buy some books Soyeon requested her to. Checking some genres and watching some trends in a magazine, Jiyeon could only shake her head slightly as she realized the book or novels that were on her hands, that is Soyeon’s recommendations, were so boring and the others were so rated too.

 

“Ah this girl! Is she going to pollute my innocent mind with these? Jeez.”

 

She putted the novels back to its bookshelves and went to find a very simple slice of life genre instead. And after doing so, she went her way to a cashier to pay her bills. She was smiling all the way, as she had realized she had forgotten all her worries or everything that can make her feel lonely. But not until the bookstore’s music starts to play – Jiyeon paused for a while for that familiar song. And that now she can’t help but to remember that night when someone sang a song for her for the very first time.

 

♫ Give me your heart for Christmas

Wrap it with joy and cheer

Let every beat sing to repeat

Our love will last each moment of the year ♫
 

And that now Jiyeon can clearly remembered Santa’s lovable facial and she even feel like she was standing back again there, as if listening to her while singing in front. Frown expression starts to form from her facial, it gets more worst when she remembered y Santa’s words that night.

 

“I won’t come back again.”

 

Jiyeon went back to reality and came to the cashier. After packing all the books she had bought, she wanted to go to a coffee shop to drink her favorite hot coffee latte for a while.

 

Putting her wallet back to her small backpack and set herself ready to go out, the latter accidentally bumped onto someone’s arms –and that caused her to scattered all the books she had bought on the ground.

 

“I am sorry!” the other quickly apologizes.

 

“It’s okay,” Jiyeon without looking to the other, went down and pick the books up.

 

The other helped her up feeling guilty, and that when the latter accidentally touch Jiyeon’s hand, she lifted her face very quick to give this girl a warning look.

 

But to her surprise, the girl she got bumped onto, that she didn’t give any attention at all, was the girl she wanted to see the most and most probably the one she wanted to be by her side. Jiyeon widen her eyes, shook her head slightly as to snap herself back to reality and stop hallucinating things. But Jiyeon is wrong, the girl in front was the same – it was still her and she’s sure she’s not dreaming or something.

 

“S-Santa?” she asked, still couldn’t believe what she had just seen. So shockingly.

 

The other girl packs her books back, and went to stand up and smiled to the very confused Jiyeon.

 

Jiyeon, who was still confuse, slowly stands up, still her eyes fixed to the girl in front. Her voice, her facial her everything, it was all the same. Don’t tell me the girl in front of Jiyeon was the y Santa’s clone? Smh.

 

“Here are your books and I am really sorry.” the girl bowed two times, and notice the girl in front didn’t even move an inch, still her eyes were on hers.

 

“Hey..” Jiyeon started, “y-you look familiar…”

 

The other girl raised her brows before breaking a very warm and lovable smile. Ah! That trademark! Jiyeon was sure this is her and it can’t be. It doesn’t make sense at all if this is not the Santa she had talked to for two Christmas Eve and last year’s Christmas day (though she was drunk that night).

 

Jiyeon, feeling some butterflies in her stomach, have this rigid position while still staring at this girl in front. The girl pulled her other hand as the other was holding Jiyeon’s books. She wanted to have a shake hands and introduce herself to this confuse girl, but it seems like Jiyeon couldn’t even say anything.

 

“Hi! I’m Hyomin.” she smiled, waiting for Jiyeon to introduce herself too but she won’t even pull her hands to have a shake hands with her.

 

Hyomin gave her a reassure smile, as she understands this girl very well. And so, without any doubt, the girl continued her sentence to make Jiyeon feel alive again.

 

“It’s me! I’m your y Santa..”

 

Jiyeon, whose her eyes were prickling, still couldn’t believe everything. With her shaky and trembled hands right now, she took her courage to touch the Santa’s hands, and now so called Hyomin, to introduce herself too.

 

“Hi, I’m Jiyeon…”

 

“I know you already.”

 

Jiyeon’s Santa showed a very lovable smile again, and that made Jiyeon feel special as the other hold her hand very tightly. Never letting it go.

 

On the other hand, the real Santa witnessing the view through his binocular, feeling happy about Jiyeon. He did laughed and felt very satisfied about this scenario, the tears from her eyes showing a genuine happiness he wanted to see on hers. And so the Santa left, knowing Jiyeon will be very happy with her Christmas wish, which was his substitute Santa, now called Hyomin.

 

“Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!” and now the Santa screams.

 

The End