He does nothing.

He just reads. Sitting there, reading the document, probably only half-heartedly. Barely. Just because he has to.

He absent-mindedly mumbles a tune, a song. And with his pen, he scratches his head lightly. Out of boredom.

....

Ryeowook is bothered.

Because that pen, it gently scratches his temples, before returning to rest on his chin. And then in his mouth.

And he should be reading his paper, too. It's their contract, he should be reading it.

But that pen. And Kyuhyun's chin, hair, eyes, hand, mouth.

....

Mouth.

....

Kyuhyun is being watched. He feels it, suddenly.

And so he looks up, and smiles instantly at the sight of Ryeowook looking at him.

"What's up?"

To which Ryeowook says nothing. Because he can't: right out of his lungs is his oxygen, somewhere out there in the room as he drowns deeper.

Kyuhyun finds it interesting, and so he prods. For all he knows, maybe Ryeowook read something he disagrees with in the contract. He'd love that: disagreeing Ryeowook is always so entertaining. This could become interesting suddenly, and so he lights up.

"What? What is it?"

And he returns to his document, suddenly flipping the pages, on a hunt.

What, oh what could Ryeowook be stumped about? The hours? The money? The tour dates?

It has become a game now, fun and interesting. Kyuhyun smiles, a little bit more than a smirk. And Jongwoon inserts himself in the mystery, from the other side of the table next to Kyuhyun;

"What? What is it? Kyuhyun? What?!?!"

And he also starts to frantically search the voluminous document, turning page after page.

But Ryeowook is frozen.

It's so hard today. Because Kyuhyun is wearing the same exact shirt Ryeowook wore yesterday (their smells mingle, his after-shave and Ryeowook's body cream....), because Kyuhyun only just recently broke up with his new girlfriend, because he is sitting there, amused by Ryeowook, smiling, reading. Possibly available, in someone else's reality.
....

Someone else's....

....

"Okay, what's wrong? Ryeowook??? Ya, Kyuhyuna! What is it?! "
"Don't know - gimme a minute."

Jongwoon is worried now, and Kyuhyun is loving it even more: this is going to be biiiig!!!!! And he now smiles wide, letting a laugh or two escape. And he nibbles, bites his pen, amused, before looking up, a killing pair of accomplice eyes unkowngly aiming straight at Ryeowook's heart, bleeding it.

"What did ya find?"

Ryeowook's eyes grow wet, just a little, just enough for Kyuhyun to notice. And he does. The two sets of eyes lock (out of habit), in a sudden trance, and Ryeowook almost wants to say it. And surely enough, out it comes:

"Everything."

The sadness in Ryeowook's voice, the depth of it slaps Kyuhyun so hard he almost looses his breath over it. The younger man's smile automatically fades, much contrarily to his heartbeat which escalates uncomfortably his bother over what Ryeowook is saying, or......not saying. Again.

"I... I mean no, nothing, it's... I just need to sleep, I think..."

Ryeowook gets up from his chair clumsily, his every move watched closely but both Jongwoon and Kyuhyun as the silence seeps in, broken only by the sound of his chair hardly gliding on the cheap industrial carpet as he pushes it back under the table before heading gently towards the door.

....

Outside, Ryeowook slowly closes the door behind him, leaning against it for a few seconds, reclaiming his stray thoughts. Barely.

There aren't many choices. There really aren't. He can either keep on dealing with it by himself, he figures, or... leave. But leaving would also mean leaving him. And that....

Ryeowook bites his inner cheek to help keep his lips from trembling, his clammy fists white with despair on the sides of his slender, lonely body.

That's not possible.

He takes a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling, unconsciouly trying to stay afloat, to not drown again.





It's so... so hard today...

 

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