...WHO LIES IN MY BED?

AUTHOR: Eunriehyun

REVIEWED BY: 170100

TITLE: 3/5

The title, … Who Lies In My Bed, indicates that the story will involve suspense and curiosity as well as mystery. This means that the title has a connection to the plot itself as your story involves all of this. However, I did not give a full mark because your title, although is connected to your plot, does not really connect to the story itself. Yes, the story was talking about who lies in his bed, etc. but it doesn't really revolve much around that as you, the narrator, told the story and not the characters. The title is eye-catching though and it will make readers curious about your story. However, the title is quite unusual given that you added (…) before the title itself. Because of this, it can give readers a sense/vibe of how your story could be a bit immature because your title seems informal just by adding the (…) so I suggest leaving it out.

FOREWORD/DESCRIPTION: 4.5/10

To be completely honest with you, dear, the description of your story is horrific. The description is such a drag and I'm trying to be as polite here as possible. I don't think it's relevant to write such a summary of the story! You have given everything, and I repeat, EVERYTHING away! This is not good enough, I'm sorry. Have you ever read an actual summary before? The summary should be precise and easy to follow through. It should also give us readers a feel of curiosity throughout. You should not drag the description of the story and talk about the main events that will occur throughout because readers will not be happy. They want a summary where it does not give everything away. It's okay to have a few 'drop-bomb' here and there but do not ever write a summary of a story which gives everything away. It bores readers and they'll already know what will happen because your description have given us a walk-through. I think you should revise again and edit the description of your story. Do not write a huge paragraph. Write at least 2-3 sentences to explain what the story may contain.  Honestly, if you take this to heart, it would be much appreciated because you have a lot to work on (your tenses is a BIG must as well; you need to proof-read over and over again). Ooh! I forgot to add another thing regarding the description of your story. First of all, you typed down in the beginning of the description about Hyukjae's twin brother, Eunhyuk, who runs into trouble, and is forced to move in with Hyukjae and Donghae. This. THIS. This is a big error! Because as I was reading, Eunhyuk wasn't forced whatsoever to move in with the lovebirds. He invited himself to move in with them because, wait for it, BANG! He fell for Donghae. And by the way, the pranks that Eunhyuk did weren't enough. Again, you typed in your description that in the beginning, Eunhyuk's pranks are beginning to frequent but from what I have read, there were only a few pranks here and there (they were major pranks which is good I suppose but there were only quite a few pranks, not enough to become 'frequent' might I add). Toodles.

PLOT: 17.5/25

No plot is ever original - there will always be something that is common. However, I was quite intrigued with how you played with the plot. You were able to make it your own style and as I was reading your story, I was actually into it. I wanted to know what would happen next, etc. The plot is a little confusing though. The storyline is a bit messy and I was a bit frustrated/lost with some parts of the story (more in the flow section). The characters' actions make sense throughout the given situations they were in although they were a bit 'messy' (some didn't really make sense as to why they did this and that). Your genres include angst, psychology, romance as well as suspense. Your story has romance (although it is quite a messed-up one; again, you narrated us instead of showing us their romance). Your story has suspense - although your description is a big giveaway to what will happen in the end, we still want to