The start!
Heartbroken
Jonghyun and Key are best friends.
They are a couple.
They are soulmates.
They are JONGKEY.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We were doing another live performance and I honestly felt like dying.
I could see the happiness in his eyes.
The members could see the happiness in his eyes.
Our manager could see the happiness in his eyes.
Our fans could see the happiness in his eyes.
People that are 3 miles away could see the happiness in his eyes.
But, he, who is always standing near me, he never looks into my eyes.
He doesn't see the pain that is forever etched into my eyes.
He doesn't understand, he can never understand, how I feel for him.
I couldn't accept it first, i couldn't accept how I was gay.
So, how do you think Jonghyun would accept it?
I just sit there, pretending everything is okay, for the sake of Jonghyun and the fans.
I sit there silently, my happiness slowly escaping my body.
But, I couldn't be selfish. I couldn't be sad and depressed in front of 'The SHINee World'.
Even if I had so much to do.
I had to act like i'm okay, carry on my daily routine normally.
I have to keep my social life up and not be caged in my room all day.
I had to keep up my relationship with all of the members so we wouldn't be drifting away.
I had to practice my singing and dancing.
I had to attend to my schedule.
I had to iron the clothes and cook the food for my members.
I had to pack and bring all of the neccesities that we needed the night before because apparrently i was the 'most organized' one.
I had to do all of those things but the hardest one for me to do is to smile.
I had to smile even though I was exhausted with tiring my body to be the best.
I had to smile even though all of the members relied on me to have food in their stomachs and to have freshly ironed clothes on their bodies.
And.....I had to smile even though I was dying inside.
I had to smile when he came home and officially anounced that he and Sekyung were an item.
I had to smile when he comes home after a date with a huge smile on his face,
I had to smile when he eagerly fills me in on what happened on the date.
I had to smile when he told me about his first kiss with her.
I had to smile when he told me about his first time with her.
I had to smile when Sekyung broke up with him and he cried his heart out, screaming her name over and over again.
I thought it was over then.
I thought that now that he was free, I wouldn't have to pretend that I'm happy for him when I'm not.
But I was wrong, dead wrong.
Because, he, who claimed that he loved me and only me.
He started dating Yoona noona.
I couldn't bring myself to hate Yoona noona because she was so nice to me, she gave me advice when we debuted and she complimented me when i felt insecure.
They were such a good couple so i gave up.
I gave up because i was too heartbroken.
I gave up because i was too heartbroken.
I am Kim Kibum,
and this is the story of how I died.
Comments