first prints.

Jaebum and Hyorin bond over cats and embarrassing memories from Dream High 2.

He cringes and wishes the ground would crack so he could fall in it right then and there but she seems to have more of a blast than he could ever come close to having it. Admittedly, she is luckier because the number of scenes she had was much lower than his own so naturally, it’s considerably easier to pick on him by punching back with phrases like, “yeah, but unlike you—“ and then she’d proceed to laugh while watching him squirm and yell nonsense.

Their closeness started coincidentally. Sure, they would easily greet one another backstage for common events and share a quick conversation before they would be ushered away in different directions but the two were never incredibly close. She wasn’t the person he would turn to for advice and he wasn’t the person she would call out for coffee whenever there would be some time available for it. If anything, he heard more about her from the other members who would in turn hear it from the press but never directly from her. In fact, he was pretty much convinced the numbers they once exchanged were long out of service.

The two happened to run into each other at a cat cafe just after Hyorin finished a broadcast for the growing V application while Jaebum had just wrapped up a group fan signing session in Ilsan.

It was a relatively large but surprisingly unpopulated cat cafe conveniently located just down the road from his dorm and lately, the place became somewhere for him to alleviate random bursts of missing his Nora a little too much.

The place is located just above a pet supplies store and it remains open until late hours of the night – generally unusual for a pet cafe. The truth is that after many visits, he became a regular, so much so that every staff member knows him as well as the hours he tends to drop by: always during late nights because that is when his schedules generally finish on a good day. It’s just a hunch, but he wonders if they decided to adjust the working hours for his sake but he tries to not flatter himself too much with the thought. Gradually, his visits progress from an hour to two to three and at some point he comes along with supplies for the animals which clearly developed a fondness towards him. It is then he finds out he is not the only one to do so.

“You just missed SISTAR’s Hyorin by a few minutes. She came by with a few things as well because she filmed for something in here,” the manager tells him while indicating to a stack of cat litter bags. “She doesn’t live in the neighborhood but she always dedicates time to come by. Don’t the two of you know each other?”

Jaebum confirms it quickly although he avoids the topic of Dream High 2 entirely although he’s pretty sure the manager is well aware of it given the amused expression she has etched on her features, not to mention she was an avid drama fan and would watch everything on air. He bows his head in shame and busies himself with a cat who strolled over only to make herself comfortable on his lap and he proceeds to pay full attention to the pet, leaving aside the cup of coffee given the moment he arrived.

It is just moments later when the door bursts open and Hyorin walks in backwards because she’s carrying two bags of what seems to be cat food and the nearest staff member rushes over to help her. She’s all smiles and flushed cheeks, apologizing for bursting in like this but—

“I had these in the backseat of the car rather than the trunk so I forgot to bring the—Hey! Isn’t that Jaebum-ah?”

This is how their bonding begins when Hyorin says she’ll hang out a little longer to catch up with him and play with the cats. It’s a win-win situation so she takes a seat across from him as soon as he invites her over, but not even an hour later, they sit side by side just so they can both play with the cat that seemed to no longer wish to sleep and instead, return the attention to both idols.

He tells her about Nora and how she couldn’t stay with them at the dorm because of Youngjae’s allergies and she tells him about the cats she owns, even telling him about the deceased Heungnyon. Hyorin does most of the talking but Jaebum doesn’t mind given she has more to say about raising the pets although it does make him wish so desperately there could be a way around his friend’s allergy. She doesn’t make much eye contact when she talks about the late cat and her voice drops a little but it remains stable although he notes there’s a lingering feeling of pain laced within it.

What Jaebum did not expect, however, was how the conversation lingered in his mind days after it happened. It pops back in his mind randomly, dawning on him he, too, would feel just as hurt as Hyorin if Nora would pass away from illness especially since he barely spent much time with the cat. The thought puts him in an awkwardly timed bad mood and apparently, it’s visible.

“Hyung, your face dropped really badly just now,” Yugyeom points out and Jaebum snaps up and alert.

“Huh?”

The younger gives him a strange look which he does not bother masking at all. “You should pick it up from the ground, hyung,” he jokes and snickers away with Jackson, leaving Jaebum more perplexed than anything else.

second prints.

Exchanging numbers allows them to have planned meetings in the same cat cafe they have unintentionally met and Jaebum, though exhausted, can’t find it in him to turn down any of Hyorin’s invitations. While the cafe provides its own homely atmosphere which Jaebum easily settled into after weeks of sometimes regular, sometimes irregular visits, the growing friendship with the fellow idol is somewhat of a bonus – it would be the only suitable way he would describe it, if asked.

(Technically speaking, he did get asked first by Youngjae and then Bambam and then everyone else followed one day after the other when it was brought to their attention his fondness for the cafe was a little strange.

“He’s seeing someone.”

“I’m seeing cats.”

“He’s seeing someone and cats.”

“Be quiet, Jackson.”)

They see more and more of each other and Jaebum can’t help but feel regretful for not keeping in touch as often as he could with Hyorin. The conversations between them seem natural and the flow is so smooth that going from one topic to the other isn’t just to avoid possible awkward moments of silence. In fact, moments of silence were anything but awkward. While he sips from whatever warm beverage he ordered, Hyorin plays with the approaching felines who seem more than keen to crowd on her lap and it’s moments like these which has the female idol burst into delighted laughter.

He also notes that while she claims she has no cuteness on TV, she’d always use a higher pitched tone whenever she’d talk with the cats and once in a while, she’d even imitate their meowing. On one particular occasion, Hyorin decided to do just that while lurking behind an unaware Jaebum in an attempt to scare him with a sudden appearance but it didn’t happen quite like that. Instead, he shifts slightly to reach behind him while still facing forward and if he expected to pet an actual cat standing on a wooden tower, he thought wrong: his hand settles on the back of Hyorin’s head and the reality dawns on him a second too late when the female is already laughing while praising herself for mastering meowing to perfection.

It’s their tenth day together after having not met for a number of days due to conflicting schedules and the low lights coupled with a calming atmosphere seems more comforting than ever while a thin blanket of snow settles outside. The first week of December brings temperatures to freezing and even lower during evenings and nights, but Hyorin and Jaebum are sat with a cat bed between them which holds three kittens which were snoozing after being fed by one of the staff members prior to their arrival. A few Christmas decorations have been put up while the two idols were away as well, including a medium sized tree which had been finished with a unique cat tree topper.

(“There’s nothing more refreshing than seeing such a unique tree topper! So creative!”

“Or you’re just so madly in love with cats that a star tree topper is outdated.”

“Says the one who made a wish of owning one as soon as he stepped in…”

Jaebum dips his head in shame and Hyorin smirks triumphantly.)

A clock adjusted on a wall by the bar indicates it is close to eleven in the night and Jaebum can feel heaviness fall upon his eyes but he’s nowhere near close to actually falling asleep. If anything, he’d blame the languid movement of his fingers (occasionally and unintentionally brushing along Hyorin’s own – he could swear by it) and low hums instead of genuine responses to the mood. But Hyorin’s voice is ever so soothing with its low, husky timbre as it guides him through cat care tips she received at a shelter she visited not too long ago that he can’t help but lose himself in the voice alone. He tries, genuinely tries, to engrain everything she says in his mind so he could construct an answer which was more than a “mh” but he’s just so tired yet so pleasantly comfortably, he can’t find it in him.

“Earth. To. Jaebum,” she says, her voice robotic while wriggling a few fingers in his face and she chuckles when he snaps alert. “You look really dazed right now. I think we’d better head off.”

“No, no,” he assures and sits up straight, shoulders squared while running a hand through his hair to push strands back. “Sorry, I got a little caught up with my thoughts then. What were you saying, noona?”

Hyorin shakes her head and withdraws her hand from the cat bed. “I have to be on my way anyway. It looks like the snow’s piling up on the roads and I’ve got an early alarm for tomorrow.”

(A small voice in his mind curses and a pang of disappointment forms in his stomach. Staying a little longer wouldn’t have been too bad…but the only thing he wonders is what exactly makes him think like so.)

They leave the cat cafe together after bidding the remaining staff goodbye and a wish of getting home safely in this weather as well as assuring them they will definitely be back when time allows it.

The frosty air smacks them in the face as soon as they’re out of the building and while Jaebum frets from one leg to the other as if the cold had already settled in, Hyorin is already gathering snow from her vehicle’s windshield to make a snowball with bare hands. One of his legs is still asleep and Jaebum is too preoccupied to shake it awake to dodge the snowball Hyorin throws at him and she gets him right in the middle of his chest.

“It was excess snow which wouldn’t have gone away with a simple swipe!” she excuses and quickly makes her way around and to the driver’s side just in case he retaliates.

“Ah—! You—! I’ll get you next time for sure, noona!”

She waves him off as if she does not believe him and is about to enter her car when she suddenly bounces right back up into view, painting evident curiosity on Jaebum’s face.

“What I was saying earlier is that you should come by to meet my children whenever you have time. Don’t feel obliged to do so, though,” she offers with a bright smile and cheeks already flushed.

(Jaebum vaguely wonders if her hands are cold after gathering that snow without gloves.)

“I can just show you a few photos of the kids next time we meet, Jaebum-ah.”

He consciously takes advantage of the fact that indeed, even after all these meetings, he had not once caught a glimpse of what her cats look like and so, he nods without hesitation. “Next time for sure, noona.”

“Good. Good night, Jaebum-ah.”

“Good night, noona.”

He stands rooted in the same spot until she indicates right and disappears around the corner. This night, he goes home and pretends to feel a sense of fulfillment of seeing the cats and Hyorin even if he feels he leans just a little more towards one side than the other.

third prints.

Jaebum comes up with a thought: thinking of Hyorin comes in three stages.

The first, he sees her as a senior with an impeccable resume even if she is still so young. Her name is one familiar to the industry and it even stretches out far beyond the age groups idols generally aim to appeal to. Hyorin has a soulfulness which is second to none, a voice so distinct and powerful it is difficult to not be awed whenever she takes to the stage — any stage, he figures. He remembers her name being brought up now and then back when he was still a trainee and how new vocalists accepted into the company would be compared to her performance but he had yet to catch sight of who this mysterious Hyorin was until they both landed roles in the same drama.

The second, he sees her as a friend who is truly reliable with a cool attitude and an easygoing personality, not to mention the warmth and care given to animals. He sees the leadership qualities she holds almost as second nature to her but he also envies her for how easy it is for her to click with people of all ages. Jaebum had seen experienced it first hand as their friendship bloomed alongside meowing cats and steaming coffees; Hyorin was as good of a friend to the manager in her mid-forties as she was with the staff much closer to their ages. Regardless of claims saying she looked intimidating, Jaebum simply cannot see it; not when people buzz around her with such ease and comfort and even animals seem to sense it — after all, they do say pets are the best judges of characters. He can’t find it in him to open up to her entirely, can’t quite make his worries and stresses known casually but there is an unspoken assurance that it would be okay to do so.

And then there is the third stage and this is when it becomes complicated because it’s still unexplored. Jaebum feels as if he threads on ice without knowing whether it could easily crack or not but even so, it draws him further and further along. He goes with it and dismisses the idea that curiosity kills the cat.

(Hyorin would be there to prevent that from happening. Jaebum laughs alone in the room until it dawns on him there is more to the idea than her rescuing a cat. He curses, whispers an “oh ” and leaves the room in hopes of finding something else to put his mind to.)

The third stage has Jaebum checking his phone more frequently than he would just in case he may have missed a message from her to schedule a day convenient for the two so he could meet ‘the children’. The third stage has Jaebum wondering if he came off too strange for answering as quickly as she invited him roughly two weeks before Christmas and that is why she doesn’t text anything back even if it’s clearly indicated the message has been seen. The stage also has him feel relieved when she mentions she will look forward to it and he wonders if there is a slight possibility all these little feelings are as enhanced and magnified in significance for her as they are for him — or if there are any odd feelings to begin with. He feels a little stupid, truth be told, and Jinyoung doesn’t fail to see Jaebum became a little more distracted than usual.

“Are you okay?” he questions him after they both get their makeup done and sit around snacking while waiting for the rest.

“What do you mean?” Jaebum questions while throwing an odd look which is immediately returned in the same manner by Jinyoung.

“I mean, are you okay? Did anything happen? You seem a little…off lately. Is everything okay?”

Intuitive Jackson is the one to pop up and answer before Jaebum can. “He’s seeing cats and someone,” he offers and he’s all grins and nudges right in Jaebum’s ribs which he shakes off quickly.

“I am not.”

Jackson arches a brow and leans in to whisper in his ear. “I know what you did three nights ago,” he offers in what he supposes to be an eerie tone before laughing at the surprised expression on his leader’s face right before being chased away by one of the makeup artists.

The third stage also has Jaebum worrying and over thinking while attempting to come up with something close to a rational answer.

(Instead, he wonders how it all went from visiting a cat cafe for the sake of missing Nora to befriend Hyorin and now consciously thinking about Hyorin a little more than a friend would think of a friend — at least, this is how he considers it.)

fourth prints.

She opens her door wide for him and invites him in but not before scolding him for bringing things along.

“It’s not a house warming party,” she notes, “it’s a meet and greet.”

Nevertheless, she takes the bags of cat food he brought along but he clings on to the toys wishing to be the one to offer them to the children as if to draw them in and make them like him.

(In other words, gain their approval.

…approval for what?)

There are three of them and they all regard him with conventional weariness but it only takes a quick call and an outstretched hand for one to come and the rest to follow. Hyorin is somewhere in the kitchen behind him getting set a few snacks for them to eat while noting they can get takeaway since she has been too busy to prepare something more welcoming than cold snacks. Jaebum assures her that it’s fine and he wasn’t too hungry — his stomach was churning, yes, but he was sure it wasn’t because of food.

It’s the Russian Blue he plays with most and Hyorin seems impressed.

“Leno isn’t an easy one to convince over. He’s not too warm and I remember when I first adopted him and brought him in, he barely paid much attention to me.”

“I have a few years worth of cat upbringing under my belt, noona,” he assures with confidence he wishes was genuine.

Jaebum doesn’t wish to make a big deal out of it or look too much into it but the setting is intimate. Of course, they’re both there for one common interest but the floor he was currently sat on was her floor and it’s a little hard to not envision Hyorin in the comfort of her own home and how she gets about. He considers his own room shared with Youngjae something to be kept away from the eyes of the public because it’s simply such a private, such a revealing and insightful place yet he catches glimpse of her own with the door wide open out of the corner of his eyes. It disappoints him a little because now, he wonders if he’s the only one lingering on stage three and it has him questioning if stage three should even be allowed for consideration in the first place.

(By now, Jaebum knows this will serve to mess him up in the very near future – it’s not that he has much free time but he’d be damned if in between schedules he won’t end up wondering – out of pure curiosity – whether Hyorin would be buzzing around the kitchen or walking around this very living room with the cats at her heel.)

The rational thinking, the don’t think of this or that crumbles when Hyorin makes her way into the living room and provides him with information on the cats; from their adoption to their names, to habits they have and how she can’t imagine living entirely alone without them, he learns it all. With it, he grows comfortable in the homely atmosphere of her apartments with Leno conveniently purring on his legs while the other two had busied themselves with a toy he brought along.

He can’t even pinpoint the exact moment when he started providing his input. He tells her of Nora and how difficult it was for him to have her move with his family because he loves her so much; he admits his nicknames for her are either ‘my child’ or ‘my love’ and a part of him wished Hyorin laughed at the cheesiness but she doesn’t. She coos and grins a Cheshire grin, propping her head up with a hand while shifting away from the sofa they were currently using as a support. He continues telling her about Coco and although it is mostly Youngjae and Mark who care for her, he still loves her though not quite as much as he loves Nora.

And just because the mood mellows down into the evening, Hyorin suddenly questions, “do you like Nora more or does our JB like Haesung more?”

Cue his shame, cue his cringing and his squirming as memories of the dreaded drama come flooding back into his mind and Jaebum cries out as if in pain but it’s a total delight for Hyorin who laughs to her heart’s content.

“So then what about our Nana-ssi? Does she like Siwoo more or her children?” he attempts lamely in hopes of reminding her too that he could always right back.

“Look at that! You act like you’re being subjected to torture whenever the drama’s mentioned yet you remember the characters!”

“That’s beside the point!”

“Of course our Nana loves the children more.” With that said, she reaches for one of the cats, Simba, and brings him to eye level before pecking the feline. “Our Nana grew lots and lots, faced trials and tribulations and has found blessings in her children,” Hyorin narrates and her voice adopts the same high pitched tone as she spoke directly with the cat who didn’t hesitate to paw at the noticeable necklace dangling from her neck. “JB-ssi,” she says, her voice its usual tone once more, and a wicked grin on her lips, “you seem to have avoided the question. Now what does that say? Was Nora not the one standing by you through the leg injury?”

Cue more cringing, more squirming — the reactions explosive and natural given the memories of the show attacked him all at once with every memory Hyorin noted but alas, he can’t bring himself to tell her to be quiet as he would to anyone else. On the one hand, it felt as if they both shared the same common pain — the slight crease on her forehead didn’t go by entirely unnoticed by Jaebum when he brought up her own character.

So there was that as well: a shared common pain followed by solace found in the presence of cats. This would serve as food for thought later on for Jaebum who would toss and turn under his sheets because he doesn’t sleep much lately anyway — this only adds fuel to the fire but it doesn’t bother him too much: whatever the case is, he must decipher the third stage to thinking of Kim Hyorin.

It develops during the course of the evening. The hours they spend are few in number but plentiful in content and it is that which strikes Jaebum as noticeable. As much as their shared liking towards felines brought them together, the steady development allowed room for more similarities and differences to arise.

Hyorin enjoys smooth R&B and plenty of soul and so does he — she guides him through a few favourites and Jaebum can barely contain his excitement when she names a few common favourites. She wishes to do a hip-hop concept but Jaebum isn’t too confident in his own ability to rap though Hyorin suggests you just never know until you try. She wishes she could handle things like spicy ramen but instead, she only adds in half of the seasoning packet whereas Jaebum simply can’t have enough hot food though he admits ramen has become a luxury in his set diet — Hyorin admits she should take a leaf out of his book to which he responds with, “it’s too lengthy of a book” and they’re all laughs and smiles again.

He learns more about her too and she about him. Whereas he finds it difficult to mingle at random especially in crowded places, Hyorin admits she hadn’t stepped foot in a club until only recently with her Unpretty Rapstar schedules and she desperately wishes to go again. She’s a perfectionist but not quite — there’s a sense of confidence she does not wish to hide and exudes it more naturally rather than forcing it. She admits her honesty caused misunderstandings now and then but she was never one to sugarcoat her thoughts and feelings which is why, in all honesty, she has a small but accessible contact list. Jaebum knows what she means because he only knows people from the company and a few others he met backstage who seemed to have miraculously clicked well. It’s not that he’s a standoffish person but—

“It is what it is,” Hyorin fills in for him and Jaebum tries to not think too much of it.

(Except he does.)

“I should go. Our manager will pass by for a schedule overview and you know…” he says and his tone is full of regret.

She reads it but she assures him with a light tone. “It was good you came by. I hope you get to see Nora soon, Jaebum-ah.” And just because she’s Hyorin and just because he allows it without saying, she adds, “I’m sure Haesung-ssi will understand.”

“Kill me now,” he says with exasperation and stretches his arm out for the ‘blow’.

“Maybe another time with your permission.”

He tries to not linger too much on her grinning face but he knows at this point, it’s impossible.

fifth prints.

Hyorin makes a noticeable impact on his thoughts and feelings in a seemingly quiet and undetectable manner. She sneaks in his idle time much like a feline would in the presence of prey, movement fluid and ever so graceful. What is left in the aftermath is nothing but prints. The first set was seemingly harmless — a growing friendship, a chance for him to reconnect with a coworker who was more of an acquaintance than a friend. The second set became more noticeable, steadily becoming a pillar for the next ones to come and by the third set, Jaebum acts so strange that he feels oddly opened so that Youngjae can poke and prod until he receives an answer in the darkness of their room.

“I’ve been seeing cats and someone,” he admits while his eyes are cast to the ceiling above where a thin strip of light filters through a small crack between the curtains. Outside, a storm rages on but the rustle of sheets above him and the slight creak of the bunk bed indicates Youngjae is all ears and wide awake.

“Hyung, who?”

Jaebum tries to be rational about it: it’s a little less than two years since their debut with a dating ban in effect and he has the nerve to try and find a way around it but what can he do? He has the responsibility of a group too and out of them all, Jaebum should know best that all he does would reflect on the other six and repercussions would affect them all. It’s just how this industry works and he tries to get it in his head by convincing himself this can be a mere crush but he can’t erase the image of Hyorin from his mind.

(Hyorin playing with cats, so unaware of surroundings and so free in her demeanor; she is all genuine smiles and hearty laughs with her head thrown backwards but sometimes it’s just small chuckles which cause her shoulders to lift a little. Then, there is Hyorin who loses herself in the moment and adjusts to the mood. She is all low tones and soft smiles, gentle touches upon cats and she talks with him as if they’ve been friends for a lifetime. She tells him the week has been stressful and she fell asleep so deeply in the car that it took her manager three good tries to get her to snap out of it. She plays it off though with a snowball to his jacket, all wicked smiles and flushed cheeks — Jaebum did get his revenge: two nights after she invited him over. After that, there is Hyorin in the privacy of her home. Sometimes, Jaebum imagines her lounging around on the sofa with the cats around her while flicking through TV channels. He imagines she’s the type to burst into singing snippets of songs she really loves and he imagines her singing one of his favorites — in his mind, it sounds wonderful. He knows he isn’t wrong.

He wonders if she considers him in a similar manner; if she even spared such a thought and he wishes she did but after that—what?)

Youngjae gasps in pure surprise and Jaebum hushes him down.

“It’s nothing,” he attempts to bargain.

“Hyung, what do you mean? This could be everything.”

“Youngjae, I’m tired. I want to sleep.”

“Does she know? Did you tell her?”

It’s strange to feel as if the cat got his tongue. The confident, generally outspoken Im Jaebum has been reduced to silence. He bids Youngjae good night, half wishing he kept quiet about it until he came face to face with his feelings and made a decision on where he would go from there.

sixth prints.

There is a thin line between pride and cowardice and for the past week, Jaebum has been crossing it continuously.

He feels as if he runs on autopilot almost every moment he spends awake and when he’s caught in a daze, Hyorin becomes such a surreal, almost out-of-reach concept that it feels as if all that has been happening didn’t truly happen. And not much has been happening except Jaebum ignoring her messages of meeting at the cat cafe if he has time because she’d really like to adopt a new feline into the family and his two cents would be of great use. Two days after he doesn’t reply, she sends him an “I hope you’re well and schedules aren’t breaking your back, JB-ssi” message and he ignores that too — not because he wants to but because he can’t come to terms with what he feels and how he can express it or bring it to a quiet end.

Whether it’s easier said than done isn’t necessarily the answer but Jaebum isn’t too experienced when it comes to worries of the mind and the heart. He tries to make use of that as a possible excuse but even to him it sounds lame and pretty much but he doesn’t know what else to do and by now, every single one of the boys know — not the entire story, certainly not the name (save for Jackson who truly saw and Youngjae who was told) but they know he has been seeing cats and someone. Surprisingly enough, they all seem to come together for a solution to Jaebum’s confusing problem.

Intuitive Jackson leads the “if I like a girl, I’d just date her” camp while Rational Mark leads the “there is a dating ban so first, you need to think things through properly and come up with a list of possibilities” camp which should be the side Jaebum should lean towards more but why does Jackson’s team seem to sound much more pleasant? He even lets his thoughts jump way ahead of the present by considering what exactly dating in this industry (with a dating ban on top of it all) actually means and how do those that date go about it anyway?

It is the autopilot mode Jaebum has been working under the past few days which also bring him to the cat café on the eve of Christmas Eve, sat next to Hyorin while toying with a cup of coffee he hadn’t even touched but only used as a hand warmer although he was convinced that by now, his palms were pink from the heat. Perhaps it’s only him, but he feels their meeting is marked by a hint of awkwardness, a first since the two began their irregular meetings. Jaebum wonders if it’s because of his sudden appearance earlier, the way he stumbled inside as if worried she would leave given the message had been seen a good hour after it was received not to mention the evident sigh of relief when Hyorin is still there, preoccupied with one of the many felines. He doesn’t even notice the wrapped up gifts on the table in front of her when he showers her with apologies.

They are a good half an hour later in to their meeting, well after Hyorin tells him of the newly adopted cat which she had suggested to him days ago, when she suddenly slides the gifts to him.

“I saw these and thought of you and since Christmas is soon but I’ll be home with my family, I thought earlier gifts are better than later ones,” she says and Jaebum really feels like the biggest jerk to grace the earth because all he presented to her was a copy of their repackaged album.

(What a coincidence it was the new title song was conveniently named, “Confession Song”!)

“You didn’t have to, noona—“

“I said I thought of you when I saw them. I couldn’t let the thought slide,” she assures and Jaebum really can’t ignore the new found manner of his chest to close up on him as a result of her words. “Don’t feel too burdened. The bigger one is for your cat so give it to Nora,” she adds with a smile of satisfaction and Jaebum fiddles with the corners of the packages and he really feels like an ever greater jerk than that of the biggest to grace the earth.

“On behalf of Nora, thank you, noona.”

Hyorin nods and notes he sounds really awkward only for her to remind him to really not feel burdened even if it’s a big deal to me since it’s for a cat but really, Jaebum-ah, this isn’t a give-and-take, I just thought of you – he smiles then, bashful as he has never been before but Hyorin seems to make a quick correction when she adds: and your cat! Mostly your cat.

He laughs at her save (if that wasn’t a save, Jaebum didn’t know what was) and repeats, “mostly Nora.”

“I’ll listen to this well,” Hyorin assures him, fingers tapping the CD case just before giving it another look from front to back where her eyes settle for a little longer to read the titles in a whisper. “It’s all Christmas-y and pretty, such perfect timing! I’ll play it for my cats.”

He can’t help himself: he bursts into laughter then, knowing damn well by now that Hyorin really would. She’d do anything for the felines she raises and it’s this unconditional loving and care she provides for the pets which is so incredibly attractive in his eyes; needless to say, there are moments when Jaebum thinks of actual children whenever she brings up the cats and the terms of endearment she frequently uses towards them. Without thought, he admits he wasn’t carrying the CD at random given weeks passed since its release – he thought of her when he packed it in his backpack. Jaebum doesn’t have time to fret over it because Hyorin blatantly asks, “What do you mean?”

(He has a feeling she knows what he means but she provides him with an incentive to come clean more explicitly – she’s too straightforward and far from the oblivious type.)

“I asked for another copy from the company so you can have it. I just didn’t know when to give it to you.” He pauses, smiles then taps the case. “I even signed it for you. Look, right here,” he points out after turning the album around for her and he points to the signature which is conveniently placed by the new title song.

He watches her face, sees how her eyes linger on the signature and they flicker soon after to the name of the song and she’s leaning forward a few moments later, face pressed slightly against the album and her hair serves as a curtain to cover her face. He doesn’t need to see her but by the shake of her shoulders and the muffled sounds Jaebum can tell she’s chuckling. Her reaction strips him of insecurities and the countless thoughts he accumulated over the weeks even if he wants to come out of sight for just a moment; just to try and put the events in a chronological order but he knows that is not the case.

Over the weeks, Jaebum learns that when it comes to certain feelings being brought to life by a certain person capable of doing such a thing, rationale becomes only a minor factor. He learns that collected as he considers himself to be – and others too – there can be someone who leads him into comfort without him even realizing until he consciously thinks of it hours later it has happened. He learns that even if there are obstacles, there are only so many he can apply to both his private life and his professional life. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d say it, but he thinks idols are humans too – and like any other human being, Jaebum is shaken by Hyorin’s presence, her effortless manner of being and the short moments they spend together from a small coincidence.

He makes it know to her like that: through his name being signed right by a song titled in a more than obvious manner and then his intentions being conveyed through words too just a little after she sits up again. He admits to Hyorin that he doesn’t know how it happened but it doesn’t matter because he’s more than sure of what he feels – while Jaebum may have crossed the line between pride and cowardice, he’s confident enough in saying things which must be said. Hyorin, with her bright smiles and low tone, admits she will definitely make this known to her cats and embarrass him in front of them. Between her words, he reads similar feelings and knows that just like him, doing such a thing is new ground she treads on but Jaebum figures it is okay.

He knows the ice he set out to thread on a while ago is thick and hard to break, knows there can be cracks popping up here and there but the rink is vast and he can avoid those when necessary.

The greatest obstacle they face is when he makes a note the staff are distracted by inventories and closing up and he figures this is it: he leans in and her hand is on top of his on the ground. The first crack in the ice forms then when they are mere centimeters apart and conveniently enough, one of the cats they had played with until earlier jumps in between them, purring while its head rubs just under Hyorin’s chin and she laughs while he sighs in disappointment.

“It’s because I told him he’s my boyfriend the other day,” she excuses the feline, fingers lightly scratching between its ears.

(He won’t deny the warm feeling creeping along his skin when she uses the word ‘boyfriend’.)

“Ah…is that so? He didn’t get the notice.”

Hyorin looks at him as if he said the most outrageous thing and just to prove him wrong, to , she hugs the cat which seemed more than pleased by her gesture of affection. “Not in front of him!” she warns, bringing Jaebum to a fit of laughter at the act she put on.

seventh prints.

The shape of the marks Hyorin leaves on his heart and mind definitely take the form of paw prints. They’re tender despite their strong, charismatic personalities and they bring a gentleness to their bond which is usually laced with teasing and jokes – the more the merrier because Hyorin takes a liking to Jaebum’s unrestrained reactions whenever she’d suddenly say, “remember when?” because he knows what follows.

She doesn’t leave his thoughts much either and even if their schedules keep them away from one another for too long, they text to make up for it; she opts to send him photos of her cats (to which Jaebum would sometimes respond with: “and you?”) while he updates her on their schedules and moments he witnesses which makes him think Hyorin would have really liked to see. When they’re together, they talk of everything and anything and if they’re not at their usual meeting point, then he is at her apartment for as long as he can be around before curfew hour nears.

Liking Kim Hyorin, to Jaebum, can be compared to the movement of cats: sometimes they prowl slowly with small steps and sometimes they leap – and always, always they leave prints behind.

It’s a good comparison he thinks and makes a note to mention it to her sooner or later. Now that would be something he’d like to see her react to.

A/N: i clearly don't know when to stop writing but i got really caught up with this because otp (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻). i admit the parts towards the end were a little lacklustre but alas, i'm awful at writing 'confession' scenes. u _ u am currently strongly considering a second part from hyorin's pov but we'll see we'll see once i get on track with my assignments hope this was enjoyable to read!!